Open Letters

[k3am]

Go. 

[k3am]

Dear old job,

I'm actually trying very hard to GIVE YOU a piece of the best deal I have in my book right now. Seriously, I'm giving you a significantly sized deal from a company I know performs well.

WHY ARE YOU MAKING LIFE SO HARD?!?! Seriously. Let's work on the finer points of business. If you have to flake on a meeting we scheduled around YOUR calendar, do more than send a 2 word email. Dial into calls at the correct time. We've had 4 meetings/calls. You've been on time for ZERO of them. And this doesn't even touch base on the shitty jokes and lack of professionalism...

Signed,
So happy I don't work for you anymore.

Dear old work wife,

I'm sorry that for a deal this size, you have to get your boss involved. He's a joke and he's going to kill this deal for you.

Signed,
I still love you.

[supertrooper1]

Dear Chief of Staff,
My coworker (the one that faked a doctor's note) found a swap to another location. It won't cost our location any money, plus we gain another officer that could be awesome. She can't be any worse than the one that wants to leave. So please, please take a few minutes out of your day to approve this paperwork expeditiously.
Signed,
Hard worker that is excited to get rid of the slug in my office.

Dear Friday,
Please get here quickly. I can't wait to be done with work for 4 days and start my trip.
Signed,
Anxious and ready for a break

[leap]

Dear company,

Yesterday we released really good annual earnings so we all came in feeling pretty good this morning. Then the news/papers started talking about 100s of people being laid off from a particular part of the company. WTH? And why no communication out to the rest of us?

Signed,
Concerened

Dear awful cold that has infected my home,

Go away. DD1 has been coughing her lungs out for almost 2 weeks, and she is exhausted because she isn't sleeping well due to coughing. After a week of extreme congestion, I am now also coughing like crazy. DD2 is still healthy and I would like to keep her that way. So go away.

Signed,
Tired of coughing

[186momx]

Dear DH
Visiting this girl from high school to help her move after therapy and not getting home until 8 and then basically going to bed pissed me off since you are sick. Plus this is the same girl who keeps asking you out via Facebook to have drinks after work.
Suspicious wife

Dear DD
I loved all the snuggles last night but I'm sorry you feel funny. Fingers crossed you don't get sick.
Mom

Dear Tax Convention this weekend
The topics are boring but the speakers are good. Please let the 23 learning hours go by quickly. The only person I'm really interested in hearing speak is the IRS guy who has the last 3 hours on Saturday. Even DD is sad she doesn't get to go listen to him talk as he is funny.
Tax lady who isn't the youngest anymore!!

[supertrooper1]

186momx, I'm sorry your H did that. She should be off limits, even if he was helping her move and he should understand that.

[librarychica]

Dear oldest child,

Why is your ear red? Why do you say it hurts? Why, the first weekend grandma and grandpa can take you both ever are you attempting to get your first ear infection?

Love,

You don't have a fever so I'm hoping you just poked it with something

[rere]

Dear asshole who tried to kill me.

I realize my side said yeild. However you were so far back on the ramp that 6 cars could have came in before you. Speeding up your huge Freudian issue laden truck to try to get ahead of me and basically running me off the side was unnecessary and dangerous.

Signed, you're an asshole overcompensating with a big truck.

Dear universe,

Thank you for this one night at home. Volleyball is over, just a pick up from football practice, which I can take.

Signed, tired mom

Dear universe,

I am not happy I may have to give up coffee. I love it. I have only been drinking for a year, right when my stomach issues started. I have figured out drinking on an empty stomach on the weekends is likely the cause of my upset stomach every weekend. Now I am feeling jittery in the mornings after a cup.
This makes me sad. Every time I see a porch, balcony, or nice big cup, I will be sad.

Signed, sad coffee lover no more.

[mellym]

Dear DDs,

Just go the F to sleep at night. I can't take another morning like today where it was impossible to get you out of bed and ready for school. Some would say getting outside right when the bus pulled up is perfect timing but it's cutting it too close for me.

Love,
Mama that is out of patience

[mommyatty]

Dear Week:

Wow. I thought you were going to be terrible. You are even worse than I anticipated. What an overachiever you are!

Thanks!
Me

Dear Hubs:

Thank you for braving all the dress up days this week as a solo parent. You're doing a great job.

Love,
Wife

Dear Person Who May Steal My Employee:

I have a plan to replace said employee. I'm actually pretty excited about it. So just make a decision already! And yes, you can have him!!

Signed,
Fellow Supervisor

PS If you take him, I'm not taking him back when you figure out just how effed up he is and how much attention he requires. I warned you. He's an excellent worker and a terrible leader of people.

[Covergirl82]

Sept 27, 2017 11:02:55 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

186momx , I'm sorry your H did that. She should be off limits, even if he was helping her move and he should understand that.

+1

[waverly]

Dear WP-

Pray for me this weekend. I am hosting a birthday party and have a Boy Scout over night camp out all on Saturday.

Love- the idiot who scheduled the bday party on the same day as the camp out.

[k3am]

Sept 27, 2017 11:54:31 GMT -5 Covergirl82 said:

Sept 27, 2017 11:02:55 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

186momx , I'm sorry your H did that. She should be off limits, even if he was helping her move and he should understand that.

+1

+2 The minute she starts disrespecting your marriage, she goes on the "no contact" list. And he should be able to make that decision without your input. 

[katrine05]

Dear paycheck,

Welcome back! As much as I loved my 11 month mat leave at home with my kids, it was very nice to see you again.

Signed,
I have a happy bank account again!

Dear DH,

You are doing an amazing job stepping up and taking over a lot at home now that I'm back to work. Although I'm still baffled by your complete ineptitude in the kitchen.

Love,
Wifey

[Covergirl82]

Dear MIL,

I know you would really like to go to Disney World with us next year. DH and I don’t mind if you come. (Although I’m not especially excited about it, if I’m being honest.) But you have to pay your own way. So if you think you can afford it, then come. And no, you may not share a room with us. After you stayed in our trailer camping a few years ago and woke up in the middle of the night making all kinds of noise because you thought it was morning, you ruined your chances of sharing a room with us.

And please stop complaining about how your sister gets to go on trips with her kids and their families. 1) She’s actually fun and not weird (confession: I wish she was my MIL) and 2) she and her husband can afford to go because they work and are not on a limited income. (And yes, I think you shot yourself in the foot by claiming disability, which I suspect you did because you didn't want to work.)

Signed,
DIL

[mae0111]

Dear Work Friend -
I'm still upset with you. I know that you think my problems are small problems, and that I can't possibly compare them to your issues (in your mind) because I'm not working right now, but they're big problems to me. I needed you, and you crapped all over me. I know that a conversation won't do any good. This is who you are. I forgot for a little while. I won't forget again. But I'm not ready to talk. So leave me alone.
Thanks,
Mae

Dear DD2 -
You're making progress. You played with the other kids at soccer this week, and did well at the pop-up play place yesterday. You didn't start crying at school until it was time to leave (vs. when I put on my turn signal at the top of the street near the school). When you came out of school the other day, you told me all about how much fun you had. I know you like it. Stop with the drama. You're killing me.
Love,
Mommy

[ilovelucyvv]

Dear Windows 10,
You are a pain in the arse and I haven't even gotten you fully installed yet. I think I've had enough problems today, so please cooperate now.

Signed,
Not getting anything done at work

Dear DD,
Your sticker chart at pre-K is sad. You need to put your big girl panties on and start listening and behaving in class. Even the kids who were misbehaved in preschool have more stickers than you.

Signed,
Worried/Frustrated Parent

[mae0111]

ilovelucyvv - DD's school stuff started when she got in trouble one day. Teacher asked her to stop doing something (minor - like painting the wrong paper). DD continued while making eye contact with the teacher - like, "what are you gonna do about it". And she got in trouble. After that, the separation stuff started. Teacher has her number and won't let her get away with much. Your DD is probably just testing things - see what she can get away with.

Hope our kids catch on soon!

[erinshelley21]

Dear MIL,
For the love of God, feed my kid. I cannot understand how she is not hungry for more than 15 oz between 9am and 7:30pm. She used to eat that much between 9-2. I am willing to bet money that her lack of bottles is why I am not getting sleep at night.
Love, your DIL who is trying to be nice about this

Dear bro,
Let's sign the damn contract already. They changed everything our attorney wanted without any sort of hesitation.
Love, your sister who isn't ready emotionally either and already planning on buying us margs tomorrow

[186momx]

Thanks WPs
DH social skills are lacking and he gets all proud and puffed up when he helps others since they always give him lots of praise so he feels good. If he was a kid in today's society I'm pretty sure he would have been and awarded a diagnoses of Asperger if not a couple others. I will be having a conversation Thursday night (DD won't be home) on why this behavior/deception isn't okay. This won't end up being a pretty conversation...

Dear clients
Thank you so much for being on top of getting everything to me before lunch today so I can get it done for you so I can head off to school tomorrow.
Happy I don't have to call and beg

[justcheckingin73]

Dear Internet,

It’s extremely difficult to be productive when you stop working every 15-10 minutes. Thankfully you’re not out long but it still stops my flow.

Get your crap together. 

Signed,
Tired and don’t need add’l distractions

[mellym]

Dear Mom,

I'm already stressed about DD2's Birthday party on Sunday so when I tell you the time of the party, just say "okay, can't wait". Don't throw out a different time for us to start the party. The party is in four days. I will never ever understand your insanity and lack of social etiquette. And no, we are still NOT having a huge Birthday bash with all of our extended family and friends.

Your annoyed and very pregnant daughter

[traveltheworld]

Dear MIL,

I know you love DH's brother more than DH. We all know this. It has taken DH a long time to get over it, but he did, and he was finally in a very good place with you. So why for the love of God would you tell DH that you are leaving almost your entire estate to DH's brother and his wife, then ask him for investment advice? Couldn't you have gone to a financial advisor for that? He is now angry and sad, but can't/won't show it because he's worried that you'd think it's about the money; so he'll just distance himself - you know, like he did for so many years. Why can't you just be less clueless so that we could all have a happy, healthy relationship?

Baffled and angry DIL

Dear DH,

You can admit that you are sad and angry about this. It doesn't make you a greedy person. I know you don't care about the money. I really do.

Wife who is now sad for you

[sunbutter]

Sept 27, 2017 11:29:06 GMT -5 librarychica said:

Dear oldest child,

Why is your ear red? Why do you say it hurts? Why, the first weekend grandma and grandpa can take you both ever are you attempting to get your first ear infection?

Love,

You don't have a fever so I'm hoping you just poked it with something

My kids never had fevers with ear infections. And when they have said an ear hurts, there has always been an infection. Hope that is not the case but you may want to have someone look inside in case it is bacterial and can be treated.

[librarychica]

sunbutter, I decided to be paranoid and she has an appointment tonight. It's just so bizarre. No cold, no fever. She's never had one that I know of -- that's her sister's thing.

[mommyatty]

Dear Self:

After a week without soda, you tried it and thought it was sort of gross. So why do you keep drinking it? You immediately look and feel so much better when you stop with the stupid soda!

Stop!
Soda Addict

[phdmomma]

librarychica, Both DS and DD have had 8 million ear infections, and not once did they tell us about them. It was always some other clue, like the ear drum burst and pus was coming out or their eyes started to get crusty. I would totally take your daughter in. Both of them got tubes this summer and it has been crazy not having to go for ear infection treatment every few weeks.

[saraml13]

Dear New Company,
I'm thinking that you're pretty awesome! Keep it up.
Signed
Happy New Hire

Dear DH,
Congrats on the promotion! I'm proud of you (but also glad that I won't have to listen to you complain about wanting to be promoted).

Now stop complaining about me wanting a new car in addition to our Civic with 130k miles on it. There are good deals on the car I want and it is less than the cost of your raise. I know cars are not a priority for you, but stop being so cheap.

In other news, You said that you would take over grocery shopping and dinner prep now that I am back at work. We have been out of food and scraping together meals from take out, left overs, and random things in the freezer since Sunday. You're response that you will go grocery shopping on Saturday is not that answer I was looking for.

Signed,
Wifey

Dear new niece,
Welcome to the world! Please start staying awake long enough to eat for your worried mom.
Signed
New Aunt

[Covergirl82]

k3am, although I have never been a daily soda drinker, I gave up soda (pop, where I am from) completely over a year ago. And then I thought one day a few months ago that a Dr. Pepper sounded good, so I had one, and I felt awful afterwards for at least a day or two. No more pop for me!

librarychica, I agree it's better to play it safe and take your DD in. My DS always ran a fever with ear infections, but DD (who has only had a few ear infections her whole life) never ran a fever with an ear infection.

saraml13, congrats to your H! You should definitely get a new car now.

[librarychica]

My oldest child's no known ear infection streak continues. Not a thing wrong with the kid. Dr said the pain may be because she's getting a molar on that side.

I feel silly (not once did I confuse teething with illnesses with small babies but i do it my almost-6yo) but relieved that date night is on!