Another Monday

[doglove]

So you were drunk and he put you in a cab? And then you came back and he left you there? Yeah nope. You deserve someone who treats your safety and well being as a priority. Hugs lady.

[Deleted]

Oct 2, 2017 10:38:21 GMT -5 doglove said:

So you were drunk and he put you in a cab? And then you came back and he left you there? Yeah nope. You deserve someone who treats your safety and well being as a priority. Hugs lady.

Yes he put me in a cab because he felt like it was time for me to go home (it probably was, but like don't get mad at me and all rude about it!). And then yes I came back when I realized my phone was missing. We started arguing again and he walked away and drove off. I guess the more I talk about it, the shittier it sounds. I blame myself for being drunk and annoying, but it seems like he was the one upping the ante. Or I might just be remembering it wrong. 

[doglove]

Oct 2, 2017 9:06:41 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

\We went out for some drinks to watch football, he bought me shots (which I never drink), \

Please don't be upset and blame yourself. You said above, HE was buying you shots that you never drink. So sure, you were probably having a good time and drinking them, but to me his reaction seems unwarranted. I would assume after knowing you for some time, he should probably know that if you're not normally drinking like this that you will probably get drunk. For me, reading this is like - he's the instigator, got upset at you for what he instigated and then took off because he didn't want to deal with it. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. 

ETA - I deleted the rest of the quote in case you didn't want it out there!

[Deleted]

Oct 2, 2017 10:50:39 GMT -5 doglove said:

Oct 2, 2017 9:06:41 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Worst weekend ever. C and I worked things out on Saturday and it was going great. We went out for some drinks to watch football, he bought me shots (which I never drink), we ran into a girl he used to date who was clearly hitting on him, and things exploded between us. We are definitely broken up and never getting back together. I'm absolutely devastated and can barely function. I've never been in this much pain.

Please don't be upset and blame yourself. You said above, HE was buying you shots that you never drink. So sure, you were probably having a good time and drinking them, but to me his reaction seems unwarranted. I would assume after knowing you for some time, he should probably know that if you're not normally drinking like this that you will probably get drunk. For me, reading this is like - he's the instigator, got upset at you for what he instigated and then took off because he didn't want to deal with it. You didn't deserve to be treated that way. 

Thanks for saying this! Yes he does know that I normally drink wine, and I'm not really shot person. But we were having a good time celebrating some touchdowns so I'm like whatever. I think he's mad because I was fighting with him and "embarrassed" him at the bar. But now that I think about it he as kinda being showy about me in front of the ex and like bragging about me, which also felt so of ick. Like dude you dated this person 9 years ago for three months. Why are you trying to prove so hard that you upgraded?

[udscoobychick]

@pdx18, if I get drunk and obnoxious, even in public, DH will take me home (not put me in a cab by myself, wtf), after making sure he's helped me collect all my stuff, and tell me to go to sleep so we can talk about it in the morning. I suppose that if he were wasted, too, it might not go quite so smoothly, but yeah, do not pin this all on yourself. He was definitely being an ass, regardless of how you acted. *Hugs*

[udscoobychick]

tiramisu, that would definitely be a yellow flag for me, too.

[tiramisu]

@pdx18 reading over all of that, it sounds like it's a very good thing it's over even though it hurts like hell right now. Obviously when both people are drinking, ridiculous things can happen. But the way he treated you is so completely not okay. I cannot imagine putting my really drunk SO in a taxi alone. Maybe because as women we all know that's not the safest situation, but still, to not make sure you get home safely? I'm angry at him on your behalf.

[bullygirl979]

Oct 2, 2017 11:03:28 GMT -5 udscoobychick said:

@pdx18 , if I get drunk and obnoxious, even in public, DH will take me home (not put me in a cab by myself, wtf), after making sure he's helped me collect all my stuff, and tell me to go to sleep so we can talk about it in the morning.

Yeah, @pdx18 , this is how P is, too. His one "rule" is that I never drink and drive (his cousin killed himself this way) and he is ALWAYS upfront that he will never get mad if I'm wasted, etc. and will always ensure I get home safely (he comes and picks me up). Even if I act like an ass, he would NEVER, EVER leave me. That really wasn't cool that he did that.

[Deleted]

Thanks ladies. And usually our fights are not me being mean or anything. I was just upset that it was an awkward situation and then he turns it around on me. I'm sure it's probably for the best, but dang I really cared about him and it's really hard for me to reconcile him being bad to me, with all of the times he is so good to me you know? Also I sort of feel like if you are at the point where you are going to have someone move in, this fight shouldn't be the end all to be all. Seems like the relationship should be stronger than that.

[bullygirl979]

@pdx18, I don't think you can always know your relationship is strong enough, if that makes sense. You can't always account for EVERY situation that will come up. I think being aware of red flags/warning signs is important, as well as just giving it time to try and get through some road bumps to see how the other person acts. But relationships will always take some blind faith.

[cuddlyevil]

Oct 2, 2017 11:32:07 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

Oct 2, 2017 11:03:28 GMT -5 udscoobychick said:

@pdx18 , if I get drunk and obnoxious, even in public, DH will take me home (not put me in a cab by myself, wtf), after making sure he's helped me collect all my stuff, and tell me to go to sleep so we can talk about it in the morning.

Yeah, @pdx18 , this is how P is, too. His one "rule" is that I never drink and drive (his cousin killed himself this way) and he is ALWAYS upfront that he will never get mad if I'm wasted, etc. and will always ensure I get home safely (he comes and picks me up). Even if I act like an ass, he would NEVER, EVER leave me. That really wasn't cool that he did that.

This^ Granted, I am not in a relationship right now, but even among my friends, we'll never leave someone in a cab in they're drunk. It's just an assholish thing to do.

It doesn't matter if he was embarrassed, he bought the shots and knew you were uncomfortable about the ex being there and didn't do anything to mitigate the situation. I know it sucks donkey balls right now, but it sounds like he did you a favor.

[tiramisu]

doglove I didn't mean to ignore what you said. What happened in Vegas is absolutely awful.

[doglove]

I didn't think you did tiramisu!

[Linie]

Oct 2, 2017 11:37:04 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Thanks ladies. And usually our fights are not me being mean or anything. I was just upset that it was an awkward situation and then he turns it around on me. I'm sure it's probably for the best, but dang I really cared about him and it's really hard for me to reconcile him being bad to me, with all of the times he is so good to me you know? Also I sort of feel like if you are at the point where you are going to have someone move in, this fight shouldn't be the end all to be all. Seems like the relationship should be stronger than that.

I'm sorry you're hurting, but he doesn't sound like the most mature guy in the room. I forgot how old you are, but I'm coming to the realization (I'm 47) that a guy with drama (or who doesn't know how to face a situation) isn't worth it.

That doesn't make your pain go away, so I'm sending you hugs as well. Take care.