Helpful or compulsive?

[anna7602]

This is my first poll, so forgive any glitches. Let's say you have a babysitter and come home to find several things in your house re-organized, including furniture that has been moved and things in drawers and cabinets re-arranged. Would it make you doubt the person's state of mind and your willingness to leave LO with her again? Or is it a bonus you're glad you didn't have to pay extra for?

[Kore]

I'd be pretty pissed if anybody went through our drawers while we were not home.

[huskymom]

That's crazy. Even if my mom did that, I'd be like, WTF?

[bunch]

I'd be totally weirded out if anyone other than my mother did that and even then, I'd be irritated.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2012 12:14:16 GMT -5 huskymom said:

That's crazy. Even if my mom did that, I'd be like, WTF?

:Y:

[carolinagirl831]

That's crazy! It is not normal to go through other people's stuff! Even if you are a crazy MIL! How old is this person?

[anna7602]

Sept 16, 2012 12:20:52 GMT -5 carolinagirl831 said:

That's crazy! It is not normal to go through other people's stuff! Even if you are a crazy MIL! How old is this person?

Probably around my age, so late thirties-ish. A really lovely person in every other respect, but this freaked me out a bit.

[shell403b]

I voted Compulsive & Questionable--what kind of drawers were organized? Silverware. No biggie. Underwear? Skeevy.

My mom organizes me house when she comes over (kitchen stuff, LR, etc., not personal bedroom stuff) and I've come to accept it. She's OCD and needs something to do. She's not over-the-top about it, and I actually do appreciate it (and feel a little bad that she's "cleaning" my house when she's supposed to be relaxing).

Maybe this person has OCD?

[livinitup]

Crazy cakes.

I could learn to like it if we had a frank conversation on why and boundaries.

[anna7602]

Sept 16, 2012 12:29:36 GMT -5 shell403b said:

I voted Compulsive & Questionable--what kind of drawers were organized? Silverware. No biggie. Underwear? Skeevy.

My mom organizes me house when she comes over (kitchen stuff, LR, etc., not personal bedroom stuff) and I've come to accept it. She's OCD and needs something to do. She's not over-the-top about it, and I actually do appreciate it (and feel a little bad that she's "cleaning" my house when she's supposed to be relaxing).

Maybe this person has OCD?

Very possibly a case of OCD. It was all kitchen, living room and DD's stuff. Kitchen stuff included food in cabinets, though, like really intensely going through packages with just a few crumbs left and removing the box, etc. so that it all took up less space overall.

[ijack]

I would kind of love it because I need someone with OCD in my life, but I could see how others would think it was weird.

[carolinagirl831]

Wow, did you have a conversation with her about it?

[smiley]

I would find it odd. It would drive me nuts bc I am already OCD when it comes to stuff around the house so if someone moved a bunch of stuff it would drive me crazy.

[drloretta]

WTH? She went through your boxes of food??? Not cool

[vanillacourage]

Totally overstepping, and indicative enough of a lack of judgement that they would not be watching my kid again. Did this happen while your DD was asleep?

[Deleted]

My mom does this too me all.the.time.... But she is my mom & watchs DS for free so I kinda deal ( honestly it really only bothers me once in a while )

If anyone else did it, I doubt they would babysit for me again.

[hopecounts]

Overstepping absolutely.
When I was babysitting I would fold laundry if it was out or load dishwasher, etc once the kids were down but I would never have gone into drawers/moved furniture that's just weird.

[ECB]

Sept 16, 2012 13:36:31 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

Totally overstepping, and indicative enough of a lack of judgement that they would not be watching my kid again. Did this happen while your DD was asleep?

This. A mom doing it is one thing, to a degree. But a babysitter you're paying to take care of your child? Um..... weird. The lack of judgement kind of astounds me.

[Becca]

Crazy cakes.

That said, when I used to nanny, I would often reorganize the kid's playroom or dressers. Only when it needed to be done, and because I somewhat considered it 'my domain' and I definitely had a relationship with the family where it didn't feel as though I was over stepping. I never would have even thought of reorganizing a non-kid area

[satama]

My mom does this and I like it actually, but a babysitter doing it would freak me out. It would be different if she just cleaned up the playroom or put a basket of kids clothes away or something.

[Deleted]

What was your kid doing while she was raiding your cupboards? It doesn't sound like a quick job. Was she ignoring your kid?

[liveintheville]

Ha! I'm the only one who voted harmless. Yeah kitchen and kid stuff wouldn't bother me. Reorganizing my underwear drawer would be a different story.

[Here]

I would be okay if it was my daughters toys or the babysitter got something out of her drawer and placed all her bows together. The kitchen is weird.

[hannamaren]

If she is my regular nanny that cooks for us/baby then okay. But just a random babysitter,weird.
And kid stuff is fine. Kitchen stuff if she always cooks for us.

[statlerwaldorf]

It's a little weird, but I could see DH doing it. If he needed to get a snack for the kid, he would probably end up turning all of the labels to face the right way or one of his other quirks. He's a little weird and compulsive, but I never felt like it interfered with his ability to take care of DD.

[jena]

Team weird. But I'm ok with it as far as toys go.

I can almost give the kitchen pantry a pass if you said "help yourself to anything in the kitchen" because then it's like she was supposed to go poke around to find herself something to eat.

Furniture moved??? Like rearranged the room? Or like a chair is shifted over a foot and could have been done to make room for a kid's game or something like that?

[DarcyLongfellow]

A regular nanny reorganizing the KID's stuff, I'd maybe give a pass to. But I'd still be annoyed if it wasn't cleared with me first.

An occasional babysitter? Very weird, and going through someone else's pantry shows such a lack of judgment that I wouldn't have the person watch my child anymore.

If my mom or MIL did it (not that they would), I'd tell them I didn't appreciate it, but I wouldn't put it in the "weird" category.

Before DD was born, my mom used to come to visit and DH and I would both still be at work for a day or afternoon, so she'd be alone in our house. She used to clean, which was awesome. DH came home once and she had her head inside our oven, just happily scrubbing away. But even though I liked the cleaning, re-organizing is another category to me -- that should only be done by the people who live in the house!!!

[Deleted]

Yeah definitely crazycakes. If that were my babysitter I would have a serious conversation about boundaries, or likely fire her altogether. I would be wicked pissed if someone went through my stuff. And the part about the pantry is doubley weird.

[luvmagoldn]

Our nanny does this and I love her for it! But she's also been with us for years. Someone new, right out of the gate? Overstepping IMO.

[anna7602]

Sept 16, 2012 17:51:13 GMT -5 @libgrl said:

What was your kid doing while she was raiding your cupboards? It doesn't sound like a quick job. Was she ignoring your kid?

DD was sleeping.

But I still think the whole thing was weird. DH is in the "it was so helpful" category and thinks I am the one being crazy/territorial here. Even though he had no idea where to find the coffee this morning...