This week is brutal - complain with me

[seeyalater52]

The holidays are hard enough as it is but this week feels like it's trying to kill me. 

In addition to the general shitshow that work becomes every time there's a major vote in Congress, I'm still recovering from my bout of pneumonia last week and I am dead tired. My little brother-in-law is visiting so I can't just crawl into bed at the end of the day, I have to try to socialize like a normal person. 

I just got off the phone with my insurance company (AGAIN) and they've now introduced this new idea that the 12 IUIs have to be within some certain time period. Not exactly 12 months/12 cycles, but some standard that they can't explain or define that may re-set the clock on our tries if we can't try again soon. Wife is still underemployed and there's really no end in sight for our break, so that's super fun. They could not provide any medical explanation for why the tries needed to be within a certain time period. 

My teammate just announced she is pregnant. I love her and our team of 3 is super close, and she even wrote me a special note beforehand to warn me so I wasn't blind-sided, which is really really sweet of her. But the thought of watching her go through her pregnancy all this coming year is killing me. I wish I could find a new job where every person wasn't constantly pregnant. Her son will turn 2 in January and the new baby is born in June. I am having a lot of trouble being happy for her and I feel awful. I don't even technically have infertility and obviously I can't get pregnant from doing NOTHING like we are right now so I feel like I don't even have the right to be sad. 

NOW YOU. Complain with me so I'll feel less horrible. 

[noodleoo]

Oh man, seeyalater52 , I'm so sorry about your coworker. I get it. Your feelings have nothing to do with her personally and I know you are happy for her. It's totally possible to be happy for her and sad/mad for yourself at the same time, and that's totally normal and doesn't make you a bad person. I've been there before and it is really hard.

That sounds like more bullshit from your insurance company. I read your blog (I hope that is okay!) and it makes me really sad and mad for you that they can arbitrarily discriminate against you.

My vents are lame: I'm impatient, annoyed at life circumstances that made us delay TTC, and annoyed that I'm the last of my friends to get pg. They are all pretty irrational since most of them have been by choice, but I'm still feeling crappy about them. H and I had some stupid fights over the weekend too which makes me worried that we aren't ready for another baby. But it is pretty much now or never, so I can't really think about that too much.

[megstoo]

I'm just sad that with PCOS and having 1 tube blocked really diminishes our chances. It doesn't help I'm also bloated today from the HSG yesterday (no pain from it).

I also told DH I'm curious how long until my doc CALLS me with the results from the HSG. The doc who did it went over the pictures he took with me so I knew what to expect but he still was going to fax the report to my doc. It took my OB/GYN 2 weeks to call me with the blood test results which showed low thyroid. We also decided if I don't heard from him by the first week of January I'll request my records and we'll go to an RE. Maybe my timeframe for the doc is unreasonable given the holiday's so if it is please let me know.

[tacom]

I’m sorry

Today another close friend announced her pregnancy. back in sept I mentioned we were trying (she’s already a mom to one). she was excited for us and said she and her husband needed to wait until fall 2018 due to school. Within three weeks she was knocked up I guess? And here i am ...

[melsamoony]

Stepping cautiously back in.

We are waiting for me to ovulate after my miscarriage and being here trying again is seriously killing me. I still feel emotionally drained from this whole experience and socialization kind of makes it worse as I just get more drained

I am also working with two very pregnant women one of whom talks about pregnancy CONSTANTLY like every.single.conversation.

Finally I had vacation scheduled for next week and it looks like it isnt going to happen due to staffing issues. I am beyond pissed.

[seeyalater52]

I’m so sorry to everyone who is having it rough right now! I genuinely feel so much better after being able to whine here.

After I cried for like an hour I talked to my coworker and she was nice. I also let her know we aren’t trying anymore because she was like “you’re next” and.... no. So I did cry a little. And then after all that an hour later she roped me into almost 30 mins of small talk about her toddler. Like, how can someone conscientious enough to write me a private note announcing her pregnancy because she knew it would be hard for me not realize that I dont want to talk about her kid’s Christmas pajamas. Come on, read the room!