@ randoms - week of 1/8

[estrellita]

Keeping kid related posts here per discussion from the weekend!

Someone please tell me the whining eventually goes away! Ugh. E is so cranky 99% of the time and it's exhausting! The smallest thing will set him off into a screaming fit. I swear I've tried everything.. talking calmly, offering hugs, distracting, etc but nothing seems to work. Any tips for dealing with extreme tantrums and just the non stop complaining? I think we get about 5 min per day right now where he's actually pleasant and fun. I just want him to feel happier for all of our sakes!

[luv2rn4fun]

So sorry and lots of ((Hugs)). C is very much the same, although he can also be very pleasant (especially when L is napping and he gets his one on one time, when he plays independently out in our backyard some days, naptime and bedtime when we cuddle, when we do our walks before his nap). But he has been very “needy” and the whining and tantrums just keeps getting more extreme in a lot of ways (I guess it ebbs and flows but it feels constant at times) since L was born 15+ months ago. I have no advice how to deal with it because it’s exhaustinf, especially where you are at with A being so little (which means she’s more needy in a lot of ways than L is plus E is still very much in the hardest part of adjusting to her being here).

I guess it has to be normal and it has to eventually get better. Maybe try to get as much time away to regroup as you can and make sure he gets plenty of attention from both you and your DH. And enjoy your time with him away at daycare...I so wish I had had that option because it would have been good for both of us. I always felt bad that he had to share me so much with L in the very early days...it was such a huge shock to his previous normal (both of us actually).

[bk1]

Big hugs. G has been extra difficult lately. I'm guessing age factors a lot into it. I just echo a lot of what luv2rn4fun said. I wish I had answers. We do a lot of time outs right now I do my best to give G some one on one time everyday. I know it has to be extremely difficult for you to have time right now to do so. I try to give G choices (this or that) to help let her have some control. We practice stopping to face each other, hold hands if she will, and breathe to calm down. We also sing songs from Daniel Tiger on calming down. I tell her calmly I can't help her when she is crying/upset/yelling and I will help her when she calms down. It works some of the time, but has gotten a little better. Of course a lot of time she yells she can't calm down, cries harder and then I have to deal with that. Kids.

[bk1]

So I think I'm going to start making my own pouches for the girls. Anyone have recipes or food combos to suggest?

Tagging luv2rn4fun and amaranth because I'm pretty sure you both make your own.

[estrellita]

luv2rn4fun I do try to give him focused attention whenever possible but he's very much a daddy's boy right now. Very possibly because I do spend tons of time either trying to nurse A or I'm pumping for her. E completely understands that I'm pumping milk for her, it's kinda funny. "You pumping mommy? Look! There's milk! That's baby milk." Lol. I should really make a point to do bed time every night but a lot of nights he refuses me and wants daddy. He came home today in different pants and underwear and I asked if he spilled or had an accident and that it was ok if he had an accident. "No mommy, leave me alone. Don't talk to me." Ok then.. So there's definitely something going on and he seems to be resenting me. Understandable, but it definitely kills me when he just refuses to even talk to me!

[estrellita]

bk1 We try time outs but they don't seem super effective. We try choices too when applicable (it's how he ends up with odd outfit combos) but a lot of times the tantrums are set off by him wanting candy in the morning or wanting to do something himself (which H has way less patience for). We count too as needed, then take things away like a toy he didn't pick up or a story at bedtime (we usually read 3, so we'll take 1 away for example). I know it's partially his age and partially still getting used to A, but sometimes they're such bad tantrums that I just wonder how it can possibly be normal!

Also for the pouches, I need to look at my links on Pinterest but I know we mixed most veggies with applesauce. I know broccoli was in one of the mixes! Also they all suggested a little lemon juice, I'm assuming for preservation. I'll have to grab a link! I should make some again, E still would eat them!

[estrellita]

bk1 the link I used is broken now but a couple in the picture are broccoli apple and carrot apple. I didn't use any from this site but they have some good ones too:

pinterest.com/pin/61009769930419776/?source_app=android

[krystee]

J is getting really challenging all of a sudden too. I guess we officially have threenagers? He rarely screams, but he's mean. "I'm going to kick you, Mommy. Don't talk, Mommy! Just THINK and be quiet." Omg, he is too smart for his own good, and he makes it hard to give consequences because he acts like he loves the consequence. "I WANT to go to timeout, Mommy! I LIKE being grumpy!" Heaven help us. He's not even three and already keeps us on our toes.

[estrellita]

krystee omg, the threenager attitude.. the other day E said "no mom, YOU have an attitude. YOU knock it off." Excuse me? Lol. Also when H flipped his light on yesterday morning to get him up, he goes "what?!" I about died!

[luv2rn4fun]

bk1- I mix all kinds of fruit together, basically whatever I have at home. Veggie wise I do sweet potato/peas/zucchini with pear or apple. Favorites are sweet potato apple, blueberry banana, apple banana. I have also just bought yogurt and put them in pouches. Oh, and you can do the sweet potato apple and add garbanzo beans for protein.

estrellita- for bedtime...what if your DH helped encourage E to let you do bedtime or you all do it together with your DH and A mostly on the sidelines until E warms up a bit and starts letting you do bedtime with him? I have a feeling once he can consistently depend on time with you he will start looking forward to it and it might help things a little bit...at least maybe he won’t come home not wanting to talk to you and might start opening up to you more. He definitely is showing you that he’s having a hard time with how much time is being given to A (which, nothing you can do about it and it will get better...just keep trying to make special time just for him even if he pushes back). Also, maybe plan something for you and E on the weekend when your DH is home. Talk it up now so he gets excited. Doesn’t have to be big or a long time (but can be).

suzv- L is the same way and it’s actually funny to me. He throws his whole body on the floor. He also hits a lot. He has such a great role model in C it’s going to be fun watching to see what he’s like a year from now LOL. As for going places...we just avoided the mommy and me classes at this time last year because C was always sick after my gym (we would have done the library though). This year we have been so sick we haven’t really been able to do much but I would still do the library and mall play area. I am always taking them out on our coffee adventures, grocery shopping, Costco. We would go to church and send them to the nursery/preschool if they are healthy. Hang in there! I hope March/April is here soon and you guys aren’t sick anymore. We have had a rough few months and it’s horrible...I can’t imagine having to actually hold a job while dealing with this.

[HoneySpider]

suzv I have definitely had the thought about not going to the library class for a while because of sickness...but since DS isn't in daycare he doesn't get a lot of interaction with other kids so I kind of hate taking him away from it. Of course, the other problem is that they don't have enough staffing at our local branch so they've started cutting some of the classes so I can't even take him if I wanted to. I am going to start looking at other branches or other towns to see if we can go somewhere else.

[christy082]

estrellita no advice just commiseration. I too have a threenager, who is also very much in a mommy mood. It's exhausting when she only wants me for everything. And then tantrums if I'm busy and tells my husband "I don't like daddy " 😕

[estrellita]

luv2rn4fun that's a good point. Maybe I'll talk to H about it and make a point to do bed time. I'm struggling a bit because right now I'm still "triple feeding" A so it's so time consuming that I'm usually nursing or pumping but I'll see if I can try timing it better!

suzv I don't usually take E to a lot of places other than the store but in my opinion, germs are good at that age. I figure he picks up all sorts of germs at DC. I'm more careful with A right now since she's so little and only has had a few vaccinations, so I try to make sure E washes his hands well when he gets home. I'm also fairly laid back I think compared to most people!

[estrellita]

christy082 ugh E says that too.. "I don't like you mommy." Thanks kid! But then sometimes he will randomly say "I like you mommy" so I guess that makes up for it. Lol.

[HoneySpider]

Today was my due date for baby #2. I always have a hard time on these days.

[christy082]

I'm sorry HoneySpider. Thinking of you.

[bk1]

suzv We still get out. Me and the girls get stir crazy if we stay home all the time. Yeah we risk it with germs but I can't avoid taking them out so I don't avoid the kid stuff. That said, I was super annoyed with a mom at the library who was saying her kid had a sore throat and couldn't go to school so she had him playing at the library instead. Grrr.


(((HoneySpider))) I'm sorry you are having a rough day. I still have issues in August for the same reason. It's just... hard. Period.

[luv2rn4fun]

((Hugs)) HoneySpider. October is always hard for (due date for our first loss). I am sorry you are having a hard day.

bk1- that is just unacceptable and I would have been more than annoyed. You don’t keep your kid home from school and then bring them somewhere they can infect other kids...not cool and very selfish.

[estrellita]

*hugs* HoneySpider

[MrsMB]

((HoneySpider))

bk1 I make my own! I've found several good recipes on Pinterest. LOTS of good stuff.

[krystee]

Hugs, HoneySpider.

suzv we are actively avoiding play places right now so no one gets sick the week the new baby comes, but I usually just go and wash hands immediately afterward. The risk of sickness is usually worth the sanity I keep my getting out of the house. I get major cabin fever in winter!

[christy082]

So I have a funny random- we were playing today and Cara was using her vet kit she got for Christmas to check out one of her toys. First she looked through one of the tools to check the toy's eyes, the she held it up to her ear and "listened" to the toy' s ear with it instead of looking with it. Too cute.

[bk1]

I bought the pouch maker yesterday! It will be here tomorrow. Woot. Tired of spending so much on pouches at the store all the time.

[MrsMB]

Jan 10, 2018 8:04:48 GMT -5 bk1 said:

I bought the pouch maker yesterday! It will be here tomorrow. Woot. Tired of spending so much on pouches at the store all the time.

Sooooo easy to use and do. I absolutely love them!!!

[luv2rn4fun]

Jan 10, 2018 8:25:52 GMT -5 MrsMB said:

Jan 10, 2018 8:04:48 GMT -5 bk1 said:

I bought the pouch maker yesterday! It will be here tomorrow. Woot. Tired of spending so much on pouches at the store all the time.

Sooooo easy to use and do. I absolutely love them!!!

Me too! It has been one of the things that has gotten the most use! I think I have bought one pouch ever...and it was only because of an unplanned emergency (they turned out a/c off on a hot day) where I wasn’t home when we found out (I was in L&D being monitored). We went to a nearby mall...bought a pouch and we all went to dinner to kill time before we could go home.

[estrellita]

Brain dump ahead.

Ugh I'm feeling miserable right now. I'm so sick of this triple feeding routine. I was up nursing A for about 45 min, then gave her a bottle, then pumped (of course she started fussing while I was pumping, never fails), then gave her more milk, changed her, she fussed off and on for about a half hour, finally fell asleep.. for about 45 whole min. H came in the bedroom with E to say bye and I just broke down. I'm exhausted, physically and mentally. H offered to stay home, but what's the point? By the time he'd get home, I'd need to be getting ready to go see the LC, then I'd get home and he'd be close to needing to go pick up E. So it wouldn't be much help. I'm so frustrated at the lack of parental leave, both in this country and at his work. He took 2 weeks unpaid. I don't know if he could do that again without taking PTO first and I want him to save that for vacation and if needed later this year.

I'm also going to stop taking the Reglan I'm on.. I'm thinking it's not helping my mental state. I just hope my milk supply doesn't drop. But I'm almost done with it anyway, plus I don't think I should feel like throwing things and screaming constantly. I'm really hoping today the LC can help. A big point of frustration is feeding A. I just want to be able to nurse her and have that be sufficient for a feeding, and only pump occasionally and when I go back to work. I'm feeling like that's never going to happen. I'm so damn sick of this pump but I don't want to throw money away on formula when I can give her my milk. And I would very much prefer to nurse her so I don't have to drag my pump everywhere and try finding places to pump. I feel like I can't get out of the house for more than an hour at a time and I NEED to because I'm going nuts.

I keep telling myself things will get better. They did with E. He started sleeping better around 8 weeks and that's only 2.5 weeks away. And people always tell stories about being able to stop the triple feeding routine at some point, I just wish I felt confident enough to know we can do that too. If there was an end in sight to make this all worth it, I'd be having a much easier time and be able to push through this. I'm just having a really rough time right now

[bk1]

So many hugs estrellita. Those early weeks are soooo hard. I hope your LC appointment goes well today. 

[amaranth]

bk1 , hey sorry for the delay. Was on the couch with a migraine all yesterday. So I try to find combinations for the pouches that include a veggie, a fruit, and a protein. I discovered the hard way that Avocado gets really bitter and slimy in the freezer, so avoid that one. Also didn't love the texture of the regular potatoes once thawed, so I stuck to sweet potatoes. I used chickpeas or other beans a lot as a protein source. I always just bought what was on sale so I'm struggling to remember specific combinations. I just cooked, mashed, and mixed until it tasted right. I had a rule that I had to like how it tasted. I think some were:
-Sweet potato, spinach, and mango.
-Blueberry, banana, oatmeal.
-Raspberry, yogurt.
-Pear, Carrot, Strawberry, chickpea.
-Spinach, pineapple, papaya
-Beans, applesauce.
-Rice, Banana, raspberry
-Coconut milk, rice, sweet potato 

[Deleted]

Anyone else have super active LOs? My 9 m.o. can crawl, use a walker, & pull up with ease. I often just supervise her play from a distance rather than playing with her but I'm wondering if I should be trying harder to play with her, especially educational play. Her motor skills are advanced but her communication skills are around average. Should I be sitting with her going over colours or signs in a game?

[MrsMB]

Jan 10, 2018 9:51:11 GMT -5 @opal said:

Anyone else have super active LOs? My 9 m.o. can crawl, use a walker, & pull up with ease. I often just supervise her play from a distance rather than playing with her but I'm wondering if I should be trying harder to play with her, especially educational play. Her motor skills are advanced but her communication skills are around average. Should I be sitting with her going over colours or signs in a game?

People look at me like I'm an idiot, but I talk to mine non-stop. Even in the grocery store, I'm telling them everything I do at every moment. People give me that look, "Oh, they can't understand you!" But DD started talking in full sentences early...so maybe I was onto something. 

Reading to her helped too, I know.