Post by mrsukyankee on Jan 12, 2018 14:04:31 GMT -5
"As I cooked dinner the other night, I thought about the women I had been talking to. They're just entering, slogging through or just leaving their 40s. They belong to Generation X, born roughly during the baby bust, from 1965 to 1984, the Title IX babies who were the first women in their families to go to college. Or go away to college. Or to live on their own, launch a career, marry in their late 20s (or never) or choose to stay home with their children. They're a Latina executive in California, a white stay-at-home mom in Virginia who grows her own organic vegetables, an African-American writer in Texas, an Indian-American corporate vice president who grew up in the suburbs of New York, and dozens more. They're smart. They're grateful for what they have. They're also exhausted. Some of them are terrified. A few of them are wondering what the point is."
Post by CrazyLucky on Jan 15, 2018 15:34:16 GMT -5
Getting around to this kind of late... I'm very much smack dab in the middle of GenX and this column resonated with me. I wouldn't have thought to describe what I'm going through as a mid-life crisis (I don't need a hot young husband or a fancy car, like the stereotypical male mid-life crisis).
This part resonated with me: "Sometimes, I have these moments of clarity, usually during lengthy conference calls," says Lori, 41, a contracts analyst in Charlotte, North Carolina. "This voice in my head suddenly starts shouting: What are you doing? This is pointless and boring! Why aren't you out there doing something you love?
I don't know if I've matured or if having kids has changed me or what. But I wish I had chosen a profession that actually helps people. Now I feel like the financial hit to switch professions would be too much, and so I look at the next 20 years or so doing what I'm doing, and it's disheartening to say the least. Then I feel guilty - my dad never worked less than two jobs just to provide our basic needs. And I'm pretty sure he didn't feel emotionally fulfilled by those shitty jobs, he just did what he had to do. So what makes me think I can be sad about not liking my job?
ETA: They covered that too: They feel guilty for complaining because it's wonderful to have had choices that our mothers didn't have, but choices don't make life easier. Possibilities create pressure. Possibilities. We still have them in midlife, but they can start to seem so abstract. Yes, I could go get a doctorate, but where would I find the graduate school tuition? I could switch careers—therapist? Zamboni driver?—but at this stage of life, do I really want to start from the bottom, surrounded by 20-year-olds?
Thanks for sharing. I can't say it gave me much hope, but at least it let me know I'm "normal."
Post by phoenixrising on Feb 26, 2018 7:07:48 GMT -5
I am late to the party, but that article was fantastic. I shared it with my other Gen X friends and also my therapist. I found myself nodding along to more than 75% of it. Glad to hear that I am not the only one who feels this way.