Post by erinshelley21 on Jan 18, 2018 16:30:30 GMT -5
Finally getting a chance to check in today. When I left off on Tuesday, Asshole had in fact had a few clients of ours sign new apps for his new place of employment. So far he is definitely getting away with 4 policies. There are 4 maybes that will at least let us come out and show them what we NOW have to offer, which is everything possible. There is one that he had sign an app that is pissed and wants to re-sign with us. Also a few that are not happy with how he is trying to get in the door by being dishonest. He still has some files of ours that we need back. Brother wants to play nice and just believe that he will bring them back tomorrow like he says he will. I want to give him a hard deadline and tell him if they aren't back by that time then I will be at his house at this time to retrieve them and won't leave until I have them. Still need our mailbox key and keys to our building.
I'm also going to need the patience of an f'ing saint to get through this with my brother without losing it on him. I get that he is nervous, but I just need him to trust me. I am, fortunately and unfortunately, really good at this damage control shit and smoothing things over. I can also read our clients very well and know if we are wasting our time or not. We have 2 months to get all of our business renewed and I don't want to focus on the 10-12 policies asshole might take when we have 100 more that I know he won't get. Plus, he just does not understand the amount of planning it requires for me to be OOT or even work late due to DH's rotating schedule and 24 hour shifts.
This all has given DH and I the motivation to start making a decision about our house situation since he lives at the front of our neighborhood and we have to drive by his house multiple times per day every single day.
Post by sandandsea on Jan 18, 2018 16:32:09 GMT -5
From Tuesday’s chore post I inquired to our house cleaner how much more it would be for her to do all laundry too. $70 more every other week. I’m on board. Dh is hesitant though he does no laundry. So we will discuss tonight.
An afternoon sitter is the best thing ever. All the things that are good for the kids but manifest as stressful time sucks she does. Like...supervising DS while he writes 25 names on his party invites (which are SUPER cute). Or...preparing DD to do her science fair board (I will help her when her partner arrives but getting it all set and ready is done).
Worth every penny and more - I give her an extra $20 for anything I can think of - hoco, new boyfriend, Thanksgiving Break....
Post by librarychica on Jan 18, 2018 18:06:48 GMT -5
I haven’t been by in a while so, hello! We are having some crazy personnel issues at work so I’ve been busy, my brother continues to struggle with adulting — but he is texting me about it less so that is progress and I hired a nice woman to get the kids off to daycare/school when H travels and it is such a relief not to be the person always switching around their work schedule. That’s about it.
And your neighbors are making it so I will never complain about the grumpy HOA President next door again.
xctsclrx , what an awful guy. It sounds like divorce is the way to go for your friend. I wonder if she could get a PPO on him because he obviously has a problem with violence (killing their dog). Not sure if those are state/county specific on what grounds a person can get a PPO. supertrooper1 , do you know?
I don't know the exact criteria because I just arrest people when they violate an order. But I think it can be pretty easy. Some orders are more strict than others. Some say the two parties can't be within a certain number of feet of each other, while others say they can be together as long as they're not harassing, threatening, or harming each other. I have also seen an order filed just because the two were getting divorced and both attorneys filed an order.
2chatter where did you find your afternoon sitter? I’m beyond ready to pull DD out of aftercare but I just don’t know where to find someone who can get her every day at 3 and do stuff with her at our house till 6.
shakinros - it was such luck. A week into school I was being a total basket case about it. Worrying but not DOING anything. I logged on to NextDoor and our sitter had posted that she was looking for a position. I totally didn’t know her, she was in the middle of a schedule change so she didn’t know if she could do it... but it all worked out.
Now I have a network of her friends - if she can’t babysit one of her friends can. And for next year I am hoping she recruits us someone awesome. The kids will so miss her - she plays with them, does homework, bakes - it’s so fun to see.
shakinros - it was such luck. A week into school I was being a total basket case about it. Worrying but not DOING anything. I logged on to NextDoor and our sitter had posted that she was looking for a position. I totally didn’t know her, she was in the middle of a schedule change so she didn’t know if she could do it... but it all worked out.
Now I have a network of her friends - if she can’t babysit one of her friends can. And for next year I am hoping she recruits us someone awesome. The kids will so miss her - she plays with them, does homework, bakes - it’s so fun to see.
In other news, I emailed every teacher DD has about keeping her and the boy who’s been pushing her buttons apart. Every one said they’d never seen DD interact with the child in question. Ummm ok. Whatevs though - they all said they’d watch more closely and DD has had a great week, so I’m good.
Aftercare head never responded but her supervisor at the district did. The aftercare staff - who are grown ass women, I might add - are hiding in the kitchen when DH shows up at pickup. Not even kidding. He can see them running for the back room as one of the high school aides comes to answer the door. I can’t even.
Had my second round of IUI. Peeing on a stick next weekend but I’m not hopeful for this cycle.
I booked a Mission Beach house in SD for three nights and am excited.
I am effing dying at all of the Disneyland choices - from where to stay to what to do. I am already over Disney. They only publish allergens and not nutrition information. So DD can’t eat in any of the parks (except whole fruit if they sell it) because food science means even cut fruit can have starch. Disney better be willing to do something to help.
2chatter, Can you call them and ask? When we did Disney World my SIL has egg, seafood, and gluten (celiac's) allergies. And they were really good about walking her through what food she could have. Because starch is more complicated, I wonder if you could call them now (or in the near future) to get some more information, or at least get someone there researching it. Also, at Disney World you can bring food in, just not weapons or selfie sticks, so you could bring some stuff for her too (although it isn't ideal).
2chatter , You're not staying on site, so you might have a harder time finding one, but I know some Disney travel agents specialize in allergy families and help you navigate the ins and outs. You might be able to find one who can help you?
ETA: Wait... are you staying on site? I'm confused. If you're staying in Disney property, travel agents can work with you. If you're staying in a rental house, they probably won't.
phdmomma - totally will - their published stance is they only provide allergen based guidance (so things like your SIL’s allergies on the dot) and that they will not provide nutrition information.
I really don’t want DD to have to eat prepackaged salami and detour bars and premade protein shakes for three days - hoping for some magic that extends to fresh food there! Just hate how it’s not as easy as reading a thousand nutrition tables....
Only bc I signed up for a 50K for January of next year based on the food they are serving. Bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches,k deep fried mushrooms, hot homemade soup......I can't believe I'm doing this. But a lot of people on my running group go, and the spots were filling up. I was one of the last ones who got in.
I was all for sports as long as it wasn't football or hockey. So naturally last fall DD played football, which I justified because it was flag football, and now She wants to play inline hockey, which I may actually say yes to if she'll actually wear the padding. Spent $75 today on skates, stick, ball, mouth guard. None of the pads yet. This will be an expensive sport! But their mission is to keep the teams equitable and I am so tired of rec sports being 40-4 every game.
Only bc I signed up for a 50K for January of next year based on the food they are serving. Bacon and grilled cheese sandwiches,k deep fried mushrooms, hot homemade soup......I can't believe I'm doing this. But a lot of people on my running group go, and the spots were filling up. I was one of the last ones who got in.
I've never run more than 13.1!
coooool!!
You know you can cook a bacon and grilled cheese sandwich at home - lol!!
With the stomach issues running has been giving me, it would be my luck that at the end of it all I would be able to eat would be soup and coconut water!
Have fun - that challenge sounds ah-mazing! I have my first trail run race next week - I signed up for the 10 miler to get my feet wet, but I'm already hoping to do the 20 miler next year since that's the distance you have to run to get a finisher medal, which is not supposed to be the point but somehow always is a big factor with me. Cause I'm a grown up like that.
We had a gas leak though and SOS my husband didn't believe me and got all mad I suggested the possibility of a gas leak. When he traveled for work, I happened to be home early from an offsite meeting, so I called boiler people and sure enough gas leak. 🙄
He finally decided we shouldn't buy a 80k Tesla - another eye roll. So then he had to install a new radio and back up camera on his car for his 79,500 cheaper mid life crisis. It's taken him 2 days of working in the garage all weekend. Third eye roll. Maybe I should book a trip away...
Last night DS puked so much all over 4 changes of bedding. The first puke was all over. Then we said he has to puke in the toilet so the rest were little pukes as he tried to make it to the toilet. There was a bucket by his bed too not sure why he didn't use it so we have 4 loads of puke laundry to do before I even got to actual clothing the kids need for the week. And DS doesn't want to go anywhere so I've been trapped in the house while H puts in his radio.
Well at least the play date went ok yesterday. Of course an hour after they left he started feeling sick. I don't think he would have spread it though because he didn't have any symptoms yet? Not sure if that theory is actually true or not.
xctsclrx , what an awful guy. It sounds like divorce is the way to go for your friend. I wonder if she could get a PPO on him because he obviously has a problem with violence (killing their dog). Not sure if those are state/county specific on what grounds a person can get a PPO. supertrooper1 , do you know?
I don't know the exact criteria because I just arrest people when they violate an order. But I think it can be pretty easy. Some orders are more strict than others. Some say the two parties can't be within a certain number of feet of each other, while others say they can be together as long as they're not harassing, threatening, or harming each other. I have also seen an order filed just because the two were getting divorced and both attorneys filed an order.
In NY, there's two kinds of OOPs: a no offensive contact one and a full stay away. To get a full stay away, there has to be a threat of imminent harm, so e.g., "Someday I'm going to bash your brains in" versus "I'm coming over right now and I'm going to beat you" versus "As soon as mom gets back with my car, I'm coming over and I'm going to beat you."
First one = no OOP. Second = OOP. Third is iffy depending on the how soon/likely mom will get back with the car (i.e., that the condition is met), but probably an OOP.
I'm not sure about no offensive contacts. I think just repeated harassing behavior...? E.g., 42 phone calls in an hour. Sometimes just being the complainant in criminal charges against the person, or criminal charges involving someone who lives or works with you will also get you a no offensive contact, e.g., your kid breaks a picture frame. You call the police to teach kid a lesson. Kid gets charged. Judge issues no offensive contact in your favor.
Not sure that helps. Definitely doesn't help if you're not in NY...
In my situation she does not want to do anything like that. She is still in denial about the entire situation. I finally convinced her last week that a separation is what is going to be best for her marriage. If it has any hope they have to give each other space. I don't think she will accept that he wants out until the papers are given to her.
I asked her if she thought he would get physical or violent about the child support and she said no. He would just disappear before he did something that would ruin his life. His anger is always in the moment, not a planning conniving person. He just can't control himself in the moment. He had a very bad childhood from birth to 8 and he could be helped if he would admit he has problem and went to get help. He doesn't "believe" in it though. That is breaking her heart too.
In my situation she does not want to do anything like that. She is still in denial about the entire situation. I finally convinced her last week that a separation is what is going to be best for her marriage. If it has any hope they have to give each other space. I don't think she will accept that he wants out until the papers are given to her.
I asked her if she thought he would get physical or violent about the child support and she said no. He would just disappear before he did something that would ruin his life. His anger is always in the moment, not a planning conniving person. He just can't control himself in the moment. He had a very bad childhood from birth to 8 and he could be helped if he would admit he has problem and went to get help. He doesn't "believe" in it though. That is breaking her heart too.
I'm betting he will do something that will justify an OOP whether she continues to live with him or not. He's unhinged and she's his focal point. I'm sure if she knew what was really going on his mind rather than romanticizing that he really just needs her b/c of their "special" connection, she would run away. You should help her get a back up plan "just in case." Even if all it is is keeping a bag with clothes and some cash at someone else's house "just in case."