Birthday Party Question

[supertrooper1]

I just booked DS's 5th birthday at our local rolling skating rink. They do a special for kids under 7 during their learn to skate time from 10:30-12:30. The only outside food we can bring in is cake. We can buy crappy pizza from them. All of the other birthday packages include pizza, except this one.  I'm thinking we need to buy pizza because of the time, right?  What kind of timeline would you do?  Skate first and food/cake at 11:30?   

And talk to me about opening gifts.  I seem to remember a past discussion on here about some parties don't open gifts during the party.  DH just took DS to a birthday party at a play area and he said it was like herding cats trying to get the kids to watch their gift get opened. 

This is our first non-family birthday party we've thrown for DS, so I'm excited but nervous I'm going to forget something obvious.   

[lucky3]

Just had DD 4th birthday yesterday. We had it a local bounce house place and left 15 minutes for cake. It was too long lol. I would do pizza and cake at 12 and open gifts at home. I’m writing thank you notes and having DD sign them.

[akafred]

1) Yes pizza. Our local skating rink pizza is sooooo goooood though. Not at all crappy!

2) Normally at skating it is skating for about 1/2 hour, then party, then skating.

3) Presents are mixed here. If it's at home, a park, or other laid back place, they usually do presents. If at a bounce house with limited time, they usually don't. I think it would be likely they would skip it at skating. I think the one real skating party we went to they skipped it. I can't remember because DD was extremely impulsive that day and we had to leave early.

[supertrooper1]

I guess we can always see how things go and play it by ear if kids are done skating and want to watch the gift opening or not. I'm not sure how many kids will actually show up. We're inviting all 10 from his preschool class, but some have disabilities. I hope those parents would bring their kids even if they can't skate.

[supertrooper1]

I have more questions...

There is one kid in his class that has a hard time walking with a walker. Do I put a special note on his invitation saying to come for pizza and cake? Or just let the parents decide if they want to come or not?

How far in advance do I put the RSVP date?

[twinmomma]

Opening gifts at parties is pretty much nonexistent here - which is awesome! Last year the girls had such a good time actually getting to explore all the gifts as they opened them at home, instead of rushing at the party place.

I'd probably stick a little note on the one kid who has trouble walking, but for everyone else, just see what happens naturally.

Most RSVPs are 1-2 weeks around here.

[sunbutter]

Yes, I would expect pizza at that time. Even crappy pizza if you will serve cake.
Yes, skating first and pizza and cake in last 40 minutes.
No present opening at the party.

[waverly]

You are a brave soul. None of my kids know how to skate so I imagine they would be falling all over the place. You didn't ask and it may be regional but most parents stay for the 5 and 6 year old parties and drop off at age 7. So hopefully the parents will stay and help.

Yes to pizza. None of the venue parties that we go to open gifts. It's a pain to manage bored kids and less time for them to play. I would skate first than cake and pizza. Or skate cake skate depending on time.

I chose not to have a school party since it wouldn't be inclusive. We have one kid in a wheelchair and he was invited for a Chucky Cheese and pump it up party. He didn't attend either but probably could access the Chucky Cheese option. If my kid couldn't skate I would probably skip it to be honest. I think it would be hard to explain to my kid that they can't skate, but they can just come eat cake.

[k3am]

Yes pizza. Parties here seem to be activity followed by eating/cake. DNW to herd kids multiple times. Presents at home. RSVP a week before.

Leave a note for the parents that you’d love to have him for whatever part of the party they think he’d enjoy.

[mustardseed2007]

I don't think you have to do a special note with the kid who has limitations on walking. I think they'll kind of understand what he can and can't do at a skating rink.

Yes to pizza. Don't forget drinks - water and juice if you can.

No to opening presents, at least around here.

[ilovelucyvv]

Parties around here usually save the food part until the last 30 minutes, so for you start at 12

+1 no gift opening at the party

A week or two before for the invites is good

[sdlaura]

Yes pizza. We go to lots of kids bday parties and have only ever seen gifts be opened once.

[2chatter]

I wouldn’t include a note - unless your clarify with the rink. The parents prob know more and it might confuse them - here they have a couple accommodations and permit both walkers and wheelchairs at our skating rink, with or without skates. If you are doing arcade cards that would be worth mentioning.

I’d also leave 45 minutes for food and open presents at home. Will you stay to open skate at 12:30? Worth discussing before hand - we always did for 30-45 minutes more then headed home. Also depending on your kids - you may want to prepare your birthday kid for the games. Some kids are too shy to want to go out there.

[erinshelley21]

I wouldn't leave a note for the kid with a walker. That's nice of you though. I would have a hard time deciding what to do in that scenario.

The only classmate party we have been too, the kid opened his presents in the party room while everyone else played. So if your kid is one that gets super excited about presents and wants to open them, he doesn't necessarily have to have an audience.

[sandandsea]

Yes pizza. Even crappy. Yes cake. No opening presents. Play/skate first eat after.

[mommyatty]

Yes, def pizza! I would ask the skating rink about timing for pizza and cake as they might have a set schedule for that. No to opening gifts. We did DD’s last party at a place that does a big deal around gifts (they are in a Cinderella carriage and blah blah she’s a princess), and it was The Most Painful Experience Ever. Hated Hated Hated it. Never again!

[supertrooper1]

DH wants me to put no gifts on the invitation. Not only do I think this is poor etiquette, it makes it awkward for those that don't bring gifts and others do.

The secretary at the school told DH that we should put on the invitation that one parent must stay during the party. This seems crazy to me. Would a parent really drop off a 4/5 year old?

[akafred]

I think "no gifts" is fine if your son is ok with that. (But then obviously don't open gifts). At our skating rink there is a big tub to put the gifts in with the kid's name as you are coming in. Unless you open presents, no one would know who did or didn't bring them. There are usually a few but more cards when that happens.

I would not specify that a parent has to be there. In our circles no one drops off until at least kindergarten, and at the skating rink they stay because it's a higher chance of getting hurt. I wouldn't be upset if an invite said it, but I would think it unnecessary and slightly rude I guess.

[mommyatty]

We went to a party this weekend where the parents put on the invitation “Your presence is the perfect gift for —— and the only one she needs!” I know them so I know they’ve been purging toys like mad. I thought it was a nice, polite way to say “please don’t bring more crap!”

[k3am]

Feb 19, 2018 23:39:40 GMT -5 supertrooper1 said:

DH wants me to put no gifts on the invitation. Not only do I think this is poor etiquette, it makes it awkward for those that don't bring gifts and others do.

The secretary at the school told DH that we should put on the invitation that one parent must stay during the party. This seems crazy to me. Would a parent really drop off a 4/5 year old?

In some sets, yes... dropping off a 4/5 has happened at parties we’ve been to.

[2chatter]

I hate any no gifts rhetoric - it’s just tacky. I also hate being mandated to bring a specific item “our four year old asked to donate books to the library so bring a new book” makes me RSVP no to the whole party - SUCH BS and no I am not running to the bookstore for your special snowflake when I have a gift closet.

And yep - parents dropped 5s at our home and had never met us. IME the parents who NEED to stay are the ones who leave and it doesn’t matter what you write on the invite - they aren’t staying. They know their kid and want an hour off. Ha.

[HeartofCheese]

My two cents:

Yes to pizza. Yes to 11:30. Yes to opening gifts (it is hell for adults, but the kids freaking love it). No to special note to parents of kid with walker. No to special note to parents to come (if their kid can't skate they won't just drop them off, and if they do, you will find out who the assholes are - always good info). No to "no presents" on invite. I would just talk to DS about picking out some of his old toys to donate.

[galaxy8227]

Yes to pizza, probably no to opening gifts. Often when we have parties at outside places there often isn't time to do the gifts and can be hard to get all the kids wrangled to do it. The last place we did collected all the gifts at the front and gave them to me as we were leaving so opening them there wasn't even an option.

I took pictures at home of DS opening them and texted them to people saying thank you. Then he made thank you cards for his friends cause he likes to do that

[mellym]

DD1 is in K so we are just getting started on kid parties. We've only had one so far but there are two more this month. They've each had two hour blocks. The one invite we just got starts at 4:30 on a Monday. A Monday!? It says nothing about food though. Make sure you put on the invite if you're having pizza or just cake. All the parents dropped off at the party we just went to which was really surprising but they're in K so not preschool. During your timeframe, I would do the pizza since the kids around here are used to eating between 11-12. Otherwise, you'll have a bunch of hangry kids on your hands. I wouldn't say anything about no gifts.

If you have a kid party, do you have another party/get together for family (grandparents)?

[phdmomma]

No gifts are actually the norm here, which is great, because one less thing for me to buy. If it is a gift party, I keep an extra generic box (the yellow tubs they make) of legos to wrap and send.

[mustardseed2007]

I wish no gifts was the norm here. Not so, though.

[supertrooper1]

Yes, we're having a separate party for the grandparents.

[twinmomma]

mellym, We just invited the grandparents to the kid party last year. They actually thought it was fun to see the girls interacting with all their friends. But, we see grandparents weekly, so it's not like they don't get time with them otherwise.

[akafred]

We don't have a separate party for grandparents but we do let DD open her grandmother presents near her birthday on a visit (her to us or us to her). Last year MIL came to town for the party plus recital. So that worked out. Otherwise we usually see her closeish to her bday. There are no other relatives who give her gifts or really care.

[mellym]

Can you tell I don't want to set a precedent of having two parties for each kid?