Why the snow day? It snowed maybe 2 inches. This is Michigan, we should be able to handle it. I'm guessing you called a snow day because we still have some left and you wanted to use them up. However, today was supposed to be DD's class field trip and I was planning to chaperone. If you reschedule for a day I can't take off work, DD will be disappointed.
Sincerely, Unhappy parent
Dear DD,
I'm sorry you won't be able to go on your field trip. I'm sad too, because I was looking forward to having a fun day with you and Daddy (and your class) at the museum. I'm sure they will make every effort to reschedule it, and I am really hoping it's a day that Daddy and I can both chaperone.
Love, Mommy
ETA: I have another one.
Dear H,
It is such a blessing that you have a good job with a good incentive and your company did well this year. It will be nice to get a few things paid off (including your truck) over the next few weeks, deposit a little extra money to the kids' 529s, and also set aside some money into an emergency fund that we really need.
What will make you leave my body? I went back to work yesterday and you apparently decided that was a declaration of war. Fever, chills, cough, and stuffy nose are all back with a vengeance.
Signed, Going Back to Doc and demanding a steroid shot
You declared it unnecessary that I checked your bag for your overnight trip making sure you had underwear, socks, deodorant, money, shampoo etc... I checked for toothpaste and reminded you to get your toothbrush after you brushed your teeth. Why did I see your toothbrush in the bathroom this morning?
Dear DD, I know that you are 3, but let's stop with the over the top theatrics. I love you, but its exhausting. Signed, Mama
Dear DS, Thank you for being a reasonable 6 year old, however, as you continue to be a hot mess after you play minecraft or binge on TV, I will need to put a stop to these activities. Also, enough the fake crying because you didn't get your way. Singed, Mama
I sent you an email at 7am yesterday asking for help. I have a major time-sensitive decision to make and I can’t seem to make a choice by myself. You don’t even have to do anything. Just read my email and write 2-3 sentences back.
BFF1: you get a pass for at least acknowledging my email last night. BFF2: your silence is rather deafening. Especially since last week I responded right away to one of your “this thing happened!!!” emails, checked in with you by text a few days later, and generally made myself available if you needed anything. You sit at a computer all day. I know you saw my email. Is it really too much to write “ugh I’m so sorry. That sounds hard.” 😧
- Disappointed
Dear WPs,
I need new friends. Someone move to South Jersey and be my BFF.
I’m proud of you for getting up in the middle of the night to give DD medicine for her terrible cough. It’s the first time ever you’ve gotten up without my kicking you multiple times and being mean. Great job!
And I would have gotten up, but I was literally too sick to move.
Wife Who Has Done All MOTN Stuff for Almost 6 Years
The vague comment you have made a couple of times about an idea you have that would involve me has got my mind spinning. Is it just more to do plus what I already have, a total job change, move up, move over, will I love it, will I hate it? Obviously, it doesn't take much to get my mind turning.
Signed, this is probably on your back burner, but just get on with it if something is going to happen.
I'm really sad, but excited to be leaving you on Friday. I'm really ready for a new challenge. Thanks for the past 14 years.
Signed, Worker bee
Dear new job, I am super nervous and excited about you. Please be a good change.
Signed, New employee
Dear DD2, I'm sorry your tummy hurt this morning and I made you go to school anyway. I have 3 days of work left and things to wrap up, and Dad is in a class for work all week. I hope you make it through the day and start to feel better because this is just not a good week to be sick.
I am amazed by you. You sat amongst 20 of your friends at a 6 year old birthday party while you had a PB&J and they had pizza and cake like it was no big deal. We are so blessed that you handle your allergy so well. I need to do a better job of remembering how well you handle these moments in the middle of a tantrum. You have never once complained and I’m so proud that you don’t let this define you. Proud Mama
Dear DH,
Still can’t believe you scheduled your vasectomy on your birthday. I’m happy it’s scheduled but are you crazy? Is it bad that I immediately think about having an out for dinner with your family
Dear Dad,
You are a master builder. I know this but I still can’t believe how fast you’re getting our basement done. Proud and grateful daughter
Dear Mom, It was so amazing having you here this past week to help with the kids with dh was traveling. I really appreciate it and love that you make it so easy. Love, Me
Dear DH, I know your work is crazy. I know you’re stressed. I get it. It’s insane. But, Please try to be more patient with the boys. Yes they’re loud and energetic, but you working 80 hours a week nonstop zaps your patience and I don’t want them to resent that. Bringing that stress home every night you are actually home makes you not so much fun. Thanks, Your very patient wife
Dear work, Please don’t be crazy. I have a ton going on and don’t need more fire drills like yesterday. My mom isn’t here anymore so I need to readjust to having to make dinner myself. Thanks, Me
Dear coworkers, Please do your part so I don’t have to give you bad Evals. Thanks, Your boss
I’m sorry I’m not st this meeting in person. I’m even more sorry I had to leave the phone on the bed and go puke during the call. Here’s hoping you guys didn’t ask me a question while I was gone!
Dear DH Thanks for cleaning the spare room for our friends this weekend. NO THANK YOU for putting everything that was in the spare room on our bed specifically my side so I could deal with it when I got home. I pre warned you that I was maxed out and didn't feel well and yes I totally had a 2 year old meltdown when I walked into the bedroom to change out of my work clothes. Wife
Dear Me You need to come to terms with this season as being fucked up and figure out a way to deal better. Me
Dear DD Could you please loose 1 just 1 tooth when I can witness it. Tooth fairy who hasn't seen you loose any of the 4 teeth as you have done it at school or daycare!
Dear DH, I am glad you are going to see your counselor. I’m glad that you told me how you feel. But it’s not my job to make you feel better. If you feel like you only have a use value here, take into account your temper tantrums and consider your behavior - like last night - after I worked, took DD to PT, made dinner, took DD to/from soccer and grocery shopped, I sat down for 15 minutes with the kids. You yelled at us for interrupting your game of Angry Birds and stomped off.
Want to feel loved? Be loving. It’s really pretty simple. Work on you. Whining won’t help.
For the last 3.5 years, you've adamantly insisted that under NO circumstances could you accommodate giving DD gas before placing the IV line. Suddenly, when I ask the neurologist to write a prescription for anti-anxiety meds for DD to make the process smoother, gas is a possibility.
Signed, Happy you'll make it easier on her, but frustrated that it took so long to figure this out.
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 7, 2018 11:41:16 GMT -5
Dear arms, Why are you so sore? We shouldn't be hurting this bad today. Signed, t-rex arms
Dear bro, No way, no how am I going to continue to do this for another year at less than what I'm currently being paid. This also isn't just about me not loving this job. I'm tired of working full time for part time pay if I'm being totally honest. So, this is about the entire picture, not just my level of happiness, even though that's most of it. Love, your sister who wonders if you even listen to a word that comes out of my mouth.
Dear DD, How are you going to be 1 on Friday? You were JUST born! Love, a mama who is tired of time moving so quickly
Whatever you have sounds awful. I hope the doctor can give you something to feel better soon. Try taking a lot of vitamin C too, like powder sodium ascorbate or Emergen-C. Maybe try Epsom salt in a bath too - Epsom salt is supposed to help draw toxins out of your body.
Can you please just move into your condo here full time? It is so so nice to have you around for one month at a time every few months. We actually manage to have a little bit of a non-kid/non-work life while you’re here. Thank you for going to DD’s school event today, and for picking up the big kids and feeding them dinner!
Dear self,
Stop eating so much chocolate. You’re working out so hard and it would be nice to look like it.
Will you please for the love of everything get out of my house one time in the morning!!!! DH you wanting to sit in bed 30 min past your get up time so I have to get DS ready is pissing me off. You two keep making me late getting out the door. Just leave. ON TIME. Jeez
Love,
Wife and mommy who would like to get to work at 7 not 715 so I can beat traffic home.
Climbing up the table to reach the bottle of kid nail polish on the mantel while I was getting dressed is impressive. Not so impressed that you tried to paint your toes, finger, and part of your stomach. I'm sorry love, but at three you don't have the dexterity for this. And I have a huge mess to clean up.
Post by erinshelley21 on Mar 8, 2018 10:32:35 GMT -5
Dear self, Go ahead and pat yourself on the back for being so good at what you do that your client doesn't give one single shit that your quote is $400 more than what he is currently paying. He also described your level of service as impeccable. Love, erinshelley
Dear WP, It's shit like this that is making my career decisions so f'ing hard. Signed, erinshelley
Post by traveltheworld on Mar 8, 2018 10:47:35 GMT -5
Dear Nanny,
Why oh why would you let the kids go sledding without a helmet? DS has a ski helmet and a skating helmet, and bike helmet. I spent last night getting up multiple times to check if he is ok and whether there were signs of a concussion. You know I get paranoid over every little health issue.
Signed, Mom who is trying to let it go as this is the only incident where I questioned your judgement in 3.5 years
Dear work,
Seriously, slow down. Over 100 emails from 7 pm to 7 am is ridiculous. At least I was up multiple times already.
Signed, Employee who is going to go home early today to take a nap
Dear Time Change this weekend I don't want to spring forward. I don't want to loose and hour of sleep. I do not want to deal with the cranky kid next week who won't want to get up. I can't pretend it happens Friday night so we can have a few extra days to adjust because we have company and it will look weird having the clocks wrong 24+ hours before hand. Cranky Me
DD I'm sorry that you and the tire swing got into a fight yesterday and the tire swing won. You were lucky and just had a small bloody nose and a puffy nose after the fact. No bruises or black eyes! Maybe you could just learn to stay away from it. Mom
DD, I was doing well eating healthy until I got home from your big sister’s doctor appointment and you had baked from scratch scones and whipped fresh cream and topped them with perfect sliced sugared strawberries. But they were SO GOOD. Omg SO GOOD. I want another one but am behaving. Love, Going to the Caymans in five weeks
I put a specific work request for Adobe Acrobat, since you decided I don't need it anymore. I had approval for it. You forcing me to use two other shitty programs that don't do what I want/need them to (or don't do it intuitively) has basically crippled me. Thanks for being so cheap.
Signed, The woman who throws her own personal money at things to make life easier, so why can't you???
Dear DH, I get it. It was a rough week. I'm out of town, you had dress rehearsals, a giant snow storm, no power... That all sucks. I can also appreciate that you've been fighting a cold all week. But, you scheduled those rehearsals yourself for the week I was gone, I can't control the weather, and you have a very convenient place to crash with the kids until power comes back on - with more adults who can help! Maybe act grateful that I sorted that situation out for you FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY while handling a massive work trip? Just a thanks would have been nice. Instead you sounded like I killed your puppy and you couldn't stand to talk to me for the five minutes I had between meetings. You really need to learn some stress management techniques to change your attitude. Signed, Wife who is kicking ass down here!
Dear housecleaner, No I’m not okay with a 33% price increase when I just gave you additional work and did a 100% increase. You are making $30/hour in cash to help me. I think that’s fair. Signed, I know I need you but feel like you’re taking advantage. Am I wrong here?