My daycare provides food and has both a meat eating and vegetarian menu on their website. You could try googling vegetarian daycare menus to get some ideas and then cross referencing the list to make sure you have appropriate substitutes for the banned foods?
If you don't already have it you could also get a thermos to send hot food in. I think you should be able to send something like mac and cheese with brocoli or pasta with sauce and fruit/cheese/yogurt sides and then push protein at dinner (or add chicken/meatball to whatever extent you want). Veggie nuggets are also something on the vegetarian menu if that is something your son would eat and you can find a brand without the allergens.
Making sure the child with allergies is safe is obviously the most important consideration, hands down. I understand why it would seem overwhelming to come up with an entirely new menu with only a few days notice, though. I’m sure you will find things that work for you both, and there are a lot of good suggestions in this thread; hopefully it will seem easy soon.
I don’t think it’s “unreasonable” but it would definitely take a lot of adjustment. Right now C’s daycare provides food, but if we had to send food, we would definitely have to brainstorm to come up with safe alternatives.
I feel bad for that family though, knowing that they have to make requests that are likely to inconvenience, or even anger others, when really they should just be allowed to focus on keeping their child safe.
I know you “get it.” This would be a good time to model empathy to your kiddo.
I was thinking, this is a good way to roll into a lesson about kindness/empathy (corny as it may sound). I’ve become friendly with the moms of a bunch of DD’s classmates. One of them told me that when she learned of DD’s allergies, she stopped letting her son have the peanut butter cereal bar he usually ate on the ride to school, so he wouldn’t touch her with that on his hands. When he protested she explained why, and he was so concerned. He wouldn’t eat them at all anymore, because he was scared that Lucy would get sick. That really melted my heart. Toddlers can be such caring and empathetic little people.
yes - our kids are growing up in a new world and allergies are so much more a reality than they were when we were young. Our kids learning early that sometimes they may have to alter what they eat isn’t a bad thing to learn. Or just to be aware that other people can’t eat the same things.
And i always think it’s so sweet when i hear that ds’s friends - not their parents but the kid themselves- say “we need to make sure we have gluten free food”. Or who question “can he have this?” They are thinking past themselves from a young age.
Protein is an issue in our family as well. DS1 will eat deli turkey, but pretty much no other meat. Ideas that don't involve meat:
Edamame Edamame "hummus" Fish sticks (not sure if you eat fish) Tofu Soy butter (could do this with jelly for a sandwich or use cream cheese/jelly) Cottage cheese Greek yogurt Cheese quesadillas
Protein is an issue in our family as well. DS1 will eat deli turkey, but pretty much no other meat. Ideas that don't involve meat:
Edamame Edamame "hummus" Fish sticks (not sure if you eat fish) Tofu Soy butter (could do this with jelly for a sandwich or use cream cheese/jelly) Cottage cheese Greek yogurt Cheese quesadillas
Edamame is a legume.
I think tofu would be considered one too. And soy butter. B eats vegetarian at school too, and mostly at home, and this would also be a big change for us. Luckily our school provides food and I guess they would have to adjust the menu. I think I would just have to accept that he wouldn’t be getting an ideal menu at school, or he would have to start eating meat there.
kkfeb04- 😳 I’m so sorry you’ve had to go trough all of that.
Our daycare is peanut/nut free and my daughter loves peanut butter but we never send it to daycare for lunches. We also do not give her peanut butter in the morning just in case we don’t wash her hands well enough.
I can understand that it is annoying but it could be a life or death situation for that child.
Also to the egg being in everything comment above. It really is! I have dealt with a girl who had hot chocolate powder thrown in her face, because the boy didn’t believe her that she was allergic to it. He didn’t believe that there were eggs in it. He was proven wrong when she had an anaphylactic reaction to it. (It only landed on her skin, none in her mouth.) She had an epi pen on her so thankfully she was fine.
Protein is an issue in our family as well. DS1 will eat deli turkey, but pretty much no other meat. Ideas that don't involve meat:
Edamame Edamame "hummus" Fish sticks (not sure if you eat fish) Tofu Soy butter (could do this with jelly for a sandwich or use cream cheese/jelly) Cottage cheese Greek yogurt Cheese quesadillas
Edamame is a legume.
She didn’t list it and I wasn’t sure if would be considered the same as a traditional bean or lentil. Likewise, soy was not listed, so I threw out some soy-based options.
Post by penguingrrl on Mar 18, 2018 15:48:36 GMT -5
That’s tough. It obviously goes without say that nothing this poor child is allergic to can enter the room under any circumstances, because this chold’s Safety is the most important thing.
But it’s also hard to suddenly have to revamp a toddler’s diet with little norice and find things a picky kid will eat.
Quinoa with broccoli is actually a high protein vegan option that sounds like a safe thing for this classroom. My kids love that and it’s really quick to make, which is always good.
If the kid will eat and you’re okay with giving cold cuts that’s another option.
You could make homemade meatballs being sure they’re free of any of the allergens and freeze them so you can prep quickly in the morning if your kid will eat those.
If dairy is an option that’s actually huge and opens a ton of options.
As a mom of a kid with allergies, the 1st 5 years of their life were terrifying. Some examples from our life:
Getting told that the 3 year olds baked with eggs when I came for pick up. After multiple conversations about I was not comfortable with that and applesauce could be used instead. I do not trust 3 year olds with eggs.
Being asked by another parent if it was ok that her son (who told his mom about my kid's allergy) had a hard boiled egg for lunch every day at my kid's table and I said no, it's not ok and went right to the director.
My kid getting picked up from the school shuttle telling me his belly hurt and had hives all over his face and body and we sat in rush hour traffic trying to get to the ER because his epi pen was accidentally left in his bag at school.
He is old enough to say no eggs, no nuts, but he can't read to know ingredients in things. He knows to ask and is not allowed to eat food I don't give him. But he's also 5 and five year olds do 5 year old things. I rely on adults to follow rules.
Op- you have gotten some good meal ideas. It will take some adjusting for both you and your son to figure out some new options, but I know you will find some. Thank you for being reasonable and wanting to help this child be safe at daycare.
It is worth asking about soy/edamame specifically - that would have been tested for separately as it is one of the top 8 allergens. Given how conservative this family seems to have been in the list, I’d be shocked if they are relying on people to know that soy is a legume rather than directly listing it
The other thing that hasn’t been mentioned is that with toddler allergies you can’t always rely on them to verbalize symptoms of anaphylaxis. They might not have the words to say “my throat is itchy.” I don’t agree with “allergy tables” at all, but I at least know by the time my kid transitions from a nut free preschool room to an “allergy table” in a cafeteria, he will not only be able to understand not eating food from other people but also know how to verbalize his symptoms. As a nut allergy mom it is terrifying to have my kid anywhere where food is consumed — neighborhood parties, siting in a grocery cart, playgrounds, and school. I’m always hyper alert he could have a fatal reaction. Food allergies are a protected ADA disability so the school is legally required to make accommodations. It is not unreasonable to ask this, no matter how frustrating it is and how little notice they provide.
Thanks for the perspective. I assure you I’m not going to be the asshole who sends these foods anyway, it was just overwhelming to essentially be told that I need to revamp my kid’s diet by Monday.
I guess this list doesn’t seem to be a big deal to some, but avocado and legumes are the only veggie/veggie-adjacent foods my kid consumes, and he gets the vast majority of his daily diet at daycare. I sympathize with this kids parents, truly, but I do wonder how they’ll function in public school, etc when these accommodations won’t be made.
I appreciate the food suggestions. I’ll do some further brainstorming this weekend.
Why would you automatically assume accommodations wouldn't be made? Our public elementary school is peanut-free because there is a child enrolled with severe peanut allergies.
Thanks for the perspective. I assure you I’m not going to be the asshole who sends these foods anyway, it was just overwhelming to essentially be told that I need to revamp my kid’s diet by Monday.
I guess this list doesn’t seem to be a big deal to some, but avocado and legumes are the only veggie/veggie-adjacent foods my kid consumes, and he gets the vast majority of his daily diet at daycare. I sympathize with this kids parents, truly, but I do wonder how they’ll function in public school, etc when these accommodations won’t be made.
I appreciate the food suggestions. I’ll do some further brainstorming this weekend.
Why would you automatically assume accommodations wouldn't be made? Our public elementary school is peanut-free because there is a child enrolled with severe peanut allergies.
Yeah, I absolutely could be wrong! Nut-free schools seem to be the norm these days. I would be surprised to learn that nuts are allowed in any schools (I know they were included on my list, but nuts were already banned prior to this new child). Its the longer list that seems hard to implement on a larger level. My previous comment was more about general exposure vs. the child being more cognizant or able to advocate for themselves.
Thanks for the perspective. I assure you I’m not going to be the asshole who sends these foods anyway, it was just overwhelming to essentially be told that I need to revamp my kid’s diet by Monday.
I guess this list doesn’t seem to be a big deal to some, but avocado and legumes are the only veggie/veggie-adjacent foods my kid consumes, and he gets the vast majority of his daily diet at daycare. I sympathize with this kids parents, truly, but I do wonder how they’ll function in public school, etc when these accommodations won’t be made.
I appreciate the food suggestions. I’ll do some further brainstorming this weekend.
Why would you automatically assume accommodations wouldn't be made? Our public elementary school is peanut-free because there is a child enrolled with severe peanut allergies.
I teach in a school where there is a latex allergy. It is hard but accommodated. As the student goes up in grade level, things like scissors, paint, erasers are replaced. The specials class, especially PE, replaces everything.
Post by minniemouse on Mar 19, 2018 8:21:58 GMT -5
I was thinking about this thread, and how lucky we are that daycare provides food so we don’t have to worry about accidentally exposing any of her classmates to anything. Then I realized that dd2’s friend with the gluten and dairy allergies brings her own food, and the other kids eat daycare-provided dairy and gluten around her all day. She is really good about only eating her own food thankfully.
Why would you automatically assume accommodations wouldn't be made? Our public elementary school is peanut-free because there is a child enrolled with severe peanut allergies.
Yeah, I absolutely could be wrong! Nut-free schools seem to be the norm these days. I would be surprised to learn that nuts are allowed in any schools (I know they were included on my list, but nuts were already banned prior to this new child). Its the longer list that seems hard to implement on a larger level. My previous comment was more about general exposure vs. the child being more cognizant or able to advocate for themselves.
My kids' school isn't nut-free. They can not bring nut items for classroom snacks and there is a separate table for children with allergies and their friends to sit at during lunch. As far as I know, none of the schools in my district are nut-free either.
I was thinking about this thread, and how lucky we are that daycare provides food so we don’t have to worry about accidentally exposing any of her classmates to anything. Then I realized that dd2’s friend with the gluten and dairy allergies brings her own food, and the other kids eat daycare-provided dairy and gluten around her all day. She is really good about only eating her own food thankfully.
To some degree, this may be a parental choice. Of course, I can't speak to her dairy allergy, but for DS, celiac isn't going to cause an anaphylactic shock. So while I always talk to his teachers about his disease, I also know that IF he ate something he shouldn't, he'd be sick for a few hours but it would pass. And obviously, the older he gets, the less I worry - he is his own best advocate.
But my point- because his allergy, in the moment, isn't life threatening, it never crossed my mind to ask any of his preschool/daycare situations to fully accommodate him to the point of restricting that food all together.
And he has accidentally eaten wheat/gluten a couple times. The way it makes him feel and impacts him?? It was a part of the process to him becoming the advocate that he is. He absolutely doesn't want to get sick. In a sense, I'm "lucky" - he isn't going to die from accidentally ingesting a piece of bread and those experiences helped HIM learn what it does to his body.