Da hell? Ask Amy letter

[pooh8402]

This sounds like something my MIL would write... if I wrote cards for any reason than a thank you.

[bex]

I don't sign my cards to MIL. That's H's job.

My brother's MIL signs all her cards to him as "love, mom and dad" and it really irritates my mother. She would never say anything or write a letter about it, lol, but it bothers her (especially bc my brother always calls them by their first names. It seems odd that she signs the cards that way.)

[pixy0stix]

If left to my own devices, I send blank cards to MIL. No signature, no nothing. DH does all the card buying and sending.

[imojoebunny]

Good grief. I really hope this is the only thing I have to complain about regarding any future spouses my children may choose. She is lucky she gets any kind of damn card.

[SwimDeep]

Apr 19, 2018 17:50:29 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

Oh, God. This woman is going to sign her cards to her FDIL "Love, Name-Mom"

Ask me how I know.

Oh My God ... my mom does this to my husband 

[SwimDeep]

OK, so this has me thinking about the way I sign off on business emails. Usually, I just say "Thanks," because right now I'm usually asking for things. At other times I say "Kind regards,". Is that too...professional? Too something?

I'm so overthinking this right now.

[05heel]

Apr 19, 2018 17:50:29 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

Oh, God. This woman is going to sign her cards to her FDIL "Love, Name-Mom"

Ask me how I know.

Omg, my MIL has recently started this.  I don't know why, but I'm going to murder her regardless.

You are not my mom!  In fact, she such a shit job of raising her own daughter that I should write her a thank you card for not spawning me. 

[tacokick]

Apr 20, 2018 7:32:13 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

So...is "Best" like "Bless your heart" ? (PA, phony, fun to use?)

I think it can be when signing cards to family. For business use or acquaintances, no.

[glw]

Apr 19, 2018 19:02:33 GMT -5 mouse said:

Apr 19, 2018 17:50:29 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

Oh, God. This woman is going to sign her cards to her FDIL "Love, Name-Mom"

Ask me how I know.

Lol, yes. My ex-mil would sign things "Other Mother." Then Coraline came out and I laffed and laffed.

I get, "Love, Mom2"

She also regularly introduces me to people as "my daughter" and not daughter-in-law which is super awkward when MH, her actual son, is right there...

[rbp]

Apr 19, 2018 18:56:15 GMT -5 smock said:

Apr 19, 2018 17:57:13 GMT -5 HRH Queen Dick I said:

Actually she hates you already MIL because Best is phony AF.

I always use "best."

😈

I think anyone who works in academia is socialized into doing this LOL. I hate myself but do it anyway sometimes.

[cattledogkisses]

Apr 20, 2018 9:24:20 GMT -5 rbp said:

Apr 19, 2018 18:56:15 GMT -5 smock said:

I always use "best."

😈

I think anyone who works in academia is socialized into doing this LOL. I hate myself but do it anyway sometimes.

The ubiquitous email sign-off in my sphere of academia is "Cheers," to the point that I intentionally don't use it. 

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 7:33:59 GMT -5 nomad100 said:

Apr 19, 2018 17:54:42 GMT -5 mrs.jacinthe said:

Alice-Mom.


She may or may not also call her son crying about how she neeeeeeeeeeeeeeds a better relationship with FDIL and she just wants to be friennnnnnnnnnds.

This was my STBX-MIL. She thought I would be like the daughter she never had, except her relationships with her sons are totally dysfunctional and I didn't want to be part of that nonsense in more than a tangential way I needed to be as an in-law.  

She also signed her cards Mom MIL name.  Her PA way at poking at the fact I didn't want to call her mom.  

Mom Alice is not better, but at least it feels like the right order.

It might work with a surname. Mom Eagleton. No, Mother Eagleton. There it is. That sounds right. Like the way you'd refer to the undisputed matriarch of the family. I might be saying that because I called my great grandmother Grandma Eagleton.

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 8:35:49 GMT -5 bex said:

I don't sign my cards to MIL. That's H's job.

My brother's MIL signs all her cards to him as "love, mom and dad" and it really irritates my mother. She would never say anything or write a letter about it, lol, but it bothers her (especially bc my brother always calls them by their first names. It seems odd that she signs the cards that way.)

My MIL always signs "love mom and dad" (I say MIL b/c IDK that I've ever seen my FIL sign anything). I call them by their given names. They sign stuff to the kids "love Nana and Popi" but the kids call them Grandma and Grandpa. IDK what all is going on there.

[StrawberryBlondie]

Apr 20, 2018 10:33:40 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Apr 20, 2018 8:35:49 GMT -5 bex said:

I don't sign my cards to MIL. That's H's job.

My brother's MIL signs all her cards to him as "love, mom and dad" and it really irritates my mother. She would never say anything or write a letter about it, lol, but it bothers her (especially bc my brother always calls them by their first names. It seems odd that she signs the cards that way.)

My MIL always signs "love mom and dad" (I say MIL b/c IDK that I've ever seen my FIL sign anything). I call them by their given names. They sign stuff to the kids "love Nana and Popi" but the kids call them Grandma and Grandpa. IDK what all is going on there.

My MIL does this too. One grandkid started calling her something (not the first-born grandkid) and that's what she calls herself and signs everything. Even though only one grandkid calls her that.

My dad does stuff like that too, come to think of it. He'll text me to tell my kid "Gramps loves you." Except she's never ever called him Gramps and would probably wonder who the hell Gramps is.

[lolalolalola]

I have never seen “Best” used IRL.

I use Cheers, Thanks, Regards, or nothing at all - just my name.

This reminds me of a friend who started calling her IL’s mom and dad even though they had never asked her to, or even discussed it. I thought that was weird and I think this is weird.

[nomad100]

Apr 20, 2018 10:30:51 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Apr 20, 2018 7:33:59 GMT -5 nomad100 said:

This was my STBX-MIL. She thought I would be like the daughter she never had, except her relationships with her sons are totally dysfunctional and I didn't want to be part of that nonsense in more than a tangential way I needed to be as an in-law.  

She also signed her cards Mom MIL name.  Her PA way at poking at the fact I didn't want to call her mom.  

Mom Alice is not better, but at least it feels like the right order.

It might work with a surname. Mom Eagleton. No, Mother Eagleton. There it is. That sounds right. Like the way you'd refer to the undisputed matriarch of the family. I might be saying that because I called my great grandmother Grandma Eagleton.

Oh she would like nothing more than to be considered the matriarch of her family.  But she has one son that doesn't speak to her, the other that grudgingly spends time with her, and more than half her grandkids don't really want anything to do with her.  So yeah, I am thinking that isn't happening.

[wambam]

Apr 20, 2018 11:51:54 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Apr 20, 2018 8:58:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I think it can be when signing cards to family. For business use or acquaintances, no.

Almost attorney I have ever encountered signs off formal emails with “best.” Shrug?

My boss does too

[Birdie]

Apr 20, 2018 7:58:07 GMT -5 rupertpenny said:

I often use “best,” but never did until I moved abroad.

Where I live now everyone is super formal in emails. Even my boss, who is also American but has been here a long time, gets shirty if I don’t use a full salutation and valediction in every email.

Anyway, I don’t tell my in laws that I love them either. Maybe I’d sign “xx, Rupert” or something on an email.

Dear Rupert,

I feel like it would be really weird to write emails this way. That is bonkers.

Best,
Birdie

[meshaliuknits]

Apr 20, 2018 11:46:15 GMT -5 nomad100 said:

Apr 20, 2018 10:30:51 GMT -5 meshaliuknits said:

Mom Alice is not better, but at least it feels like the right order.

It might work with a surname. Mom Eagleton. No, Mother Eagleton. There it is. That sounds right. Like the way you'd refer to the undisputed matriarch of the family. I might be saying that because I called my great grandmother Grandma Eagleton.

Oh she would like nothing more than to be considered the matriarch of her family.  But she has one son that doesn't speak to her, the other that grudgingly spends time with her, and more than half her grandkids don't really want anything to do with her.  So yeah, I am thinking that isn't happening.

lol At least she has her dreams.

Grandma Eagleton, though? She ran that biz. She was strict, but loving.

[downtoearth]

I seriously don't think twice about the best/love/sincerely/cheers sign-offs.

A lot of people have default, "Sincerely" or "Best" in their work replies. My work sign-off is almost always, "Thanks, DTE."

My cards to FIL or MIL, whom I like a lot, are usually signed "Love, DTE" but I also don't let DH sign them if he didn't help buy the cards. So last year on MIL's birthday she got a card from me, and one from the kids, and not one from her own son. Not my job to send cards on behalf of my H to his own parents.

[tacokick]

Apr 20, 2018 11:51:54 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Apr 20, 2018 8:58:33 GMT -5 tacokick said:

I think it can be when signing cards to family. For business use or acquaintances, no.

Almost attorney I have ever encountered signs off formal emails with “best.” Shrug?

That’s what I am saying. It’s not passive aggressive like “bless your heart” in a business setting. It is/can be when you are using for relatives

[partiallysunny]

I wonder what my MIL would do if I started signing cards "Love your daughter, PartiallySunny"

[captainobvious]

I sign Best in work emails regularly, but definitely use "thanks" as a sarcastic sign off sometimes. Thanks for not doing what I needed, CO.

[mrs.jacinthe]

Apr 20, 2018 12:39:15 GMT -5 tacokick said:

Apr 20, 2018 11:51:54 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Almost attorney I have ever encountered signs off formal emails with “best.” Shrug?

That’s what I am saying. It’s not passive aggressive like “bless your heart” in a business setting. It is/can be when you are using for relatives

See, it is for me (but I'm a realtor, so my business setting is slightly less formal than some).  My email close hierarchy goes:

Thanks! = I like you, you did good.
Thanks, = Standard.  We are in a neutral standing.
No close = I'm in a hurry and/or I don't care enough either way
Best, = Fall off the earth already

I figure none of these things are actually like signing off with "Wish you'd just DIE!" but knowing that I'm flipping them an imaginary bird with my close makes me feel better.  LOL

[janegold]

Ughhh, my MIL is petty about this kind of stuff sometimes too.

Her emails pretty much always have a "Love" sign-off and I usually reciprocate. But if I am in a hurry and I don't include a sign-off or just sign my name or initial, chances are that she will withhold her "Love" on her next email, too.

[imobviouslystaying]

Apr 20, 2018 13:06:48 GMT -5 captainobvious said:

I sign Best in work emails regularly, but definitely use "thanks" as a sarcastic sign off sometimes. Thanks for not doing what I needed, CO.

I use thanks and thanks for your help that way too.

Especially if the problem I emailed you about three hours ago was resolved without your assistance hours ago.

[lolalolalola]

My MIL won’t even friend me on Facebook and I haven’t spoken to her since last summer. I can’t imagine how weirded out she should be with me using the word “love” in regards to her feelings for me or vice versa.

[biscoffcookies]

Before we started dating, I had a crush on DH and thought he might like me. But then he sent me a series of emails related to a group project we were working on (the first I had received from him) and kept signing them “best.” I was so bummed, because it seemed such a distant and formal way to address someone that it meant I had to have completely misinterpreted his behavior and he wasn’t interested after all.

I couldn’t know at the time he signs ALL his emails that way, including to his own mom.



I think it is perfectly fine and amicable to use in a business setting or with someone you are acquaintances with. But for closer people it just seems...out of place.

[redheadbaker]

Apr 19, 2018 19:51:31 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

This is giving me flashbacks to the time that my MiL ignored a really important email because I addressed it “hi,” and she didn’t like that. Guess who I just don’t send any communication to at all now?

 How were you supposed to address it? 

[mskitkat]

Apr 20, 2018 17:56:01 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Apr 19, 2018 19:51:31 GMT -5 mskitkat said:

This is giving me flashbacks to the time that my MiL ignored a really important email because I addressed it “hi,” and she didn’t like that. Guess who I just don’t send any communication to at all now?

 How were you supposed to address it? 

Either “Dear Mrs. Lastname” or “Dear Mom.” Never communicating with her is not a hardship.