It’s Monday. Boo!!!!!

[twinmomma]

mae0111, Call your PCP for some stronger meds. When my headache morphs and becomes a migraine beyond 24 hours, I have to get something stronger or it just won't go away.

[sandandsea]

I picked Ds up from his first day of a new camp and he told me they didn’t give him a lunch. I bought lunches online and even emailed them about it. I’m staying calm but I know my kid and he gets hangry. He needs food and I had convinced him camp lunches were better than Home lunches. Thankfully I packed extra snacks and he ate applesauce and fruit snacks and pirates booty for lunch and had his milk still from breakfast he didn’t drink.

[sandandsea]

I’m so sorry twinmomma. . Hang in there.

meagain that’s so scary. Hoping for the best.

[campermom]

I’m sorry you are going through this twinmomma. Thinking of you and sending strength.

rere I’m sorry you have been in a funk. I hope things improve for you soon.

meagain thinking of you too, that sounds really stressful.

supertrooper1 glad the party went well. Get some rest!

[freezorburn]

So sorry twinmomma, please feel free to PM me. I don’t know if there is such a thing as amicable divorce, but I do know that it is possible to minimize and de-escalate conflict over time.

We arrived in SWPA on Saturday to visit my parents. My sister and her family is here too. So far we have taken in a baseball game and spent today at Kennywood. It’s fun now that the cousins are old enough to enjoy each other.

[erinshelley21]

twinmomma, thinking of you as you navigate these next few weeks and months.
rere, I hope you get some time to yourself soon. You're an awesome mom and aunt for taking them all to the waterpark this week.
mae0111, some rest. Legit, time to yourself, rest. You haven't had a break all summer and prior to that you were fighting your DD's school.

I have not figured out how to fit catching up and posting on here into my WFH life. I'm hoping once my class reunion is over I have actual free time during the day, which the reunion is on Saturday. It's a crazy week getting ready for that, MIL and SFIL having things going on this week, I have 2 appointments, and I am doing pick up for a friend's kid from his sports a couple days this week.

Money starts getting tight this month, which is right on time for my birthday. DH's is soon too so I need to start thinking about that. I'm nervous but trying to not think about it too much.

[polecat8]

freezorburn, I am in SWPA! Hope you are enjoying your time in the 'Burgh! You should check out the science center, children's museum, or zoo. And make sure to get yourself a Primanti's sandwich!

[ilovelucyvv]

Sorry to hear twinmomma. It takes a lot of courage to make a decision like that. Sending you strength and peace.

[mommyatty]

Some background. When my boss was hired from outside the company, he was flatly told that they anticipated I would be his successor. He told me this, his boss told me this, even the CEO joked about it. He has treated me as some sort of rival since he got here, for pretty obvious reasons, and has pretty much tanked my odds of ever being promoted here.

Yesterday I had my performance review and for the first time in 6 years, he was pretty positive. And he even floated the idea of my doing a Masters program in an area I’ve recently taken over. I’m not sure what to think at this point. Maybe he feels he’s definitely taken me out of the running (he clearly has), so now he can be magnanimous?

[traveltheworld]

Jul 31, 2018 9:23:50 GMT -5 mommyatty said:

Some background. When my boss was hired from outside the company, he was flatly told that they anticipated I would be his successor. He told me this, his boss told me this, even the CEO joked about it. He has treated me as some sort of rival since he got here, for pretty obvious reasons, and has pretty much tanked my odds of ever being promoted here.

Yesterday I had my performance review and for the first time in 6 years, he was pretty positive. And he even floated the idea of my doing a Masters program in an area I’ve recently taken over. I’m not sure what to think at this point. Maybe he feels he’s definitely taken me out of the running (he clearly has), so now he can be magnanimous?

How old is your boss? How old are his kids? Has he made enough money to retire? He may actually be thinking of a succession plan.

Or, like you said, he may just want to be seen as magnanimous. In either case, I'd still take it as a positive thing. If he is the sabatogous type, the only reason he'd be magnanimous now is because he thinks or has been told that your success reflects well in him, and he wouldn't think that unless you are doing a great job and is garnering positive attention in the organization.

[mommyatty]

traveltheworld, he’s rich enough but not old enough to retire. And I think he’s found another successor and set her up really well. He has a kid who is in 10th grade and another who is in college. I know his wife hates Texas, and he just bought a second home in Southern California, where they moved from, so there is svuttlebutt that he may be thinking about leaving.

My current thinking is that he’s making me more marketable so I can leave but I’ll leave seeing him as an ally instead of an adversary. Which actually is fine by me. Plus one of his bosses loves me, and that boss recently announced all lawyers are doing skip level reviews with him, so I’m sure he’s worried I’m going to say something bad about his leadership. I won’t. I never have. It’s not how I operate, but he doesn’t understand that since that is precisely how he operates.

[akafred]

Would it be a total dick move to ask DH if he even wants to go on vacation with us? I mean, I want him there, but he has been complaining about it and saying the only thing he looks forward to about it is coming home. He’s not a big traveler and I get that, yet he always says he’s on board for a trip but then complains about it the whole time. I know we already paid for all 3 of us to go, but hell, I don’t even care. He can enjoy the shit out of his week off, at home where he most wants to be.

[mustardseed2007]

akafred, my DH is kind of like that. He get so stressed about taking any kind of trip, but he DOES enjoy himself once we go. I'd probably offer. And if he declines I would order him to stop complaining.

[akafred]

Lol! I won’t be ordering anything. But I think the next trip will definitely be DD and me and NOT him.

[mae0111]

Jul 31, 2018 11:32:14 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

akafred , my DH is kind of like that. He get so stressed about taking any kind of trip, but he DOES enjoy himself once we go. I'd probably offer. And if he declines I would order him to stop complaining.

All of this.  You can in a very nice, non-snarky way kind of paint this picture of him being under a lot of stress (true or not), seems like he's not excited for the trip, would he rather stay home and just use his time off to recharge by himself?  If he says yes, then go on your trip with DD.  If he says no, be clear that you do not want to spend the trip listening to him complain. You'd love for this trip to be a family trip... but that you want to enjoy yourself too...

I'm sometimes your DH in this scenario, and sometimes by DH is the DH in the scenario. Sometimes I'm grumpy before I trip because I know it's going to be a sh!tshow - like when we go to visit his family, and he dumps me and the kids at his mom's house and goes drinking for the weekend.  And sometimes he's grumpy because he travels all the time for work, and he likes to just stay home when he's not on the road.  He usually snaps out of it, though... me, not so much...

[sweetptater]

akafred, just curious, is your DH on anti-anxiety meds? I ask because he sounds exactly like my DH and I'm really pushing for him to talk to our doctor. He stresses/freaks out over the smallest things. I used to be like that until I got Lexapro. My life is SO much better. I really, really hope I can convince DH.

But back to the point, I dread our trips for the same reason. I hope that once you get to where you're going he'll be able to relax.

[mommyatty]

akafred, plan vacations without him. My MIL did that for 35 years. My FIL only wanted to travel for stuff like seeing his college football team play for the National Championship. Other than that, newp. They were one of the happiest couples I ever knew. But part of that was just acknowledging and bowing to their differences.

Also, enjoy yourself. He has now, more than once, affirmatively CHOSEN to go. He can now CHOOSE to enjoy himself or not. And so can you. He wants to stay in the hotel room and read or watch tv? Awesome. You can go diving with a group while DD goes to the kids club. He gets mopey? Gee, honey, seems like you need some down time. DD and I will go to the beach and leave you to recharge so you get out of your funk.

I’m married to a complainer. I get it. Gently calling him on it seems to get some traction. Also, when push comes to shove, he hates being left out, so even the threat of the kids and I going somewhere without him shifts his perspective.

[phdmomma]

akafred, You've given him an out, and now he has said that he wants to go. When he starts complaining I would remind him gently that he has chosen to be there. That's what I do when DH pulls something like that. Particularly if it is something I planned to do with the kids and he decides to tag to along. Like we went to cranberry marsh tour up north and he decided to go. They he decided to complain about how lame it was, and I gently reminded him that he chose to go, and needed to remember that and behave accordingly.