@ week of 11/12

[pooh8402]

How are the mamas and kids this week?

E is sick... or at least really congested. At least he let me rub vicks on him last night. Not sick enough to stay home though, so he's going.

He and I did have a mother-son date yesterday to see the Grinch in the theater. He loved it. We got milkshakes while we were there. He then crashed in the car on the way home, at 5:45, lol.

[suzv]

Parenting a 2 year old is SO hard. Last week his pedi told me that J was 'intense' after he screamed his way through his 2 year check up. Made some quick remark about how it could be a marker for autism, or it could just be him being two. That's been on my mind for an entire week now.

He's been having a hard time at daycare too. They tell me it's mostly during transitions and right before/after naptime. Saturday he was a perfect kid and yesterday he was a disaster, tons of meltdowns, throwing, hitting. I think being around kids all day has me more worried than I should be. He's super verbal, able to tell me what he wants or doesn't want, so I do think it's just him being 2, but multiple people calling it out last week has me so paranoid.

[luv2rn4fun]

((Hugs)) suzv. I still wish your pediatrician hadn’t said anything to you about that. I can only imagine the anxiety it causes. What you described sounds like C. I have brought it up a lot to our pediatrician and he still stands by that things are ok for now and time will tell. He tries to alleviate my anxiety over it. He does do well with transitions at school and is finally getting better at home (he’ll be 4 next month), no issues at school except he is shy and doesn’t talk much (which has also improved a lot since last year). I have always described C as strong willed and just difficult (but also amazing when he’s not being difficult). He’s smart, very verbal, etc. I have a feeling J is the same way and some of these things are just really normal for some kids. It’s hard not to worry but just try to help him and then keep bringing up your concerns. C was extremely difficult from 21 months til just recently (and still has his moments). Having L was a huge part of it but he has also always just been more difficult than L.

[luv2rn4fun]

Both kids are still coughing etc but much better and playing like normal. This one wasn’t as bad as the previous one so that’s a plus!

C is so cute every time we go shopping he is loving all the Christmas decor! I have a feeling this year is going to be even better for him!

I am really loving this stage with the boys! The play together so nicely, C helps a lot with L, and it’s just mostly really good (minus L still being a horrible sleeper LOL)!

[pooh8402]

I decided to keep E home today. He's not sick sick, but I can keep him home and let him rest, so hopefully he wouldn't get worse while at school.

[katespade]

Did anyone take birth classes while they were pregnant? Were they worth going to/paying for? We signed up for a 4 week class through the hospital, and it starts tomorrow. Each session is 2.5 hours in the evening, from 6:30-9:00. I know it's probably worth the time and cost, and it's only four sessions, but right now that feels like an overwhelming amount of evening time to spend, especially when we add in the hour of drive time it takes to get back and forth.

Plans for this week:
Tuesday - First birth class.
Wednesday - 32 week growth scan. We invited my mom to come with us and she's SO excited.
Sunday - Baby shower.

[estrellita]

suzv E is/was the same way. His screaming fits were absolutely horrible. They're better now and only really happen if he's super tired and hits his breaking point. He still has trouble listening though and with transitions. I think he's doing a little better at DC (though they tell me they have to do a lot of listening reminders a few times a week) but transitions at home are tough. We try to give lots of warning before we go to bed, leave somewhere, etc and that seems to help. I know those things don't work as well with a younger 2 year old though but it's worth a shot!

[estrellita]

katespade We took a birthing class (all day on a Sat) and a newborn class (2 nighttime weekday classes, I think like 2 hours each or something). I did think they were helpful, but maybe a little more for H. I felt pretty informed about what happens during labor but I don't think it's something H really ever thought about, so it was good for him to be prepared. The newborn class was helpful in a lot of ways too. That said, I don't think they're absolutely necessary if someone doesn't want to take them. Ours were cheap so we did it. Also they gave us a hospital tour so we knew what the rooms looked like which was nice.

If you plan on BFing, I'd suggest looking into a BFing class. I never took one and regret it TBH. If you're not planning on it, then no need of course In my experience though, the nurses were very unhelpful and lactation consultants were always busy so having more knowledge upfront would have been nice!

[pooh8402]

katespade, I think they're a good idea, at least as a way to decrease anxiety. I used to teach a prenatal class, my section was on newborn care and I co-taught with a pediatrician. We were able to answer questions about feeding, diapers, vaccinations, jaundice, circumcision, etc. Basically, what to expect.

As estrellita said, it's not really necessary. I have tons of patients who have babies having never taken a class. But I do think it can be helpful.

[suzv]

luv2rn4fun, estrellita, Thanks for sharing! That makes me feel better.

katespade, I didn't take any kind of birthing class, only did a safety/cpr class and the hospital tour. Luckily I had a pretty straightforward birth, and my water broke at home so I didn't have to labor or anything like that at home and worry about pain management. I felt informed enough through reading birth stories here and just researching stuff on the internet. I also watched a few birth videos on youtube and then after he was born, watched videos on breastfeeding latches on youtube.

[Blue Moon]

suzv, I'm sorry you've been stressing over that comment. I would feel the same way, but I think it was really unfair of your pedi to say that to you in the moment.
pooh8402, hope the extra day of rest is just what E needs to feel better.
katespade, I may be jaded but the birth class was really just a refresher of all the things I already knew. I spent a lot of time on these boards prior to delivery, and really felt like that prepared me more than anything else, lol. But, I'm glad we did it because my H was able to hear a good run-down. In the end, we laughed because I had a scheduled c section so hardly anything applied to my personal situation.

[Blue Moon]

It was a difficult and challenging weekend with G being sick, but we survived and I'm happily back at work now eating lunch in peace and quiet. We had three nights of being up all night with this latest sickness, and I have never been more confident that we are so DONE with two kids. I cannot handle the newborn sleeplessness again, that's for sure.

If anyone is in need of kids clothes- Kohls is having a great sale right now. I love their Jumping Beans clothes for my kids, and everything is already 50%, plus you can stack 30% off and $10/$25 offers as well. It's cheaper than buying consignment even!

[HoneySpider]

I'm sorry suzv, sounds like typical 2 year old behavior to me.

katespade we did an online class, it was way cheaper and we were able to do it at our own pace vs sitting in a classroom all day/weekend. We did do a CPR class in person. It was the right mix of stuff for us.

[HoneySpider]

T is so close to rolling over! He gets so much of his body off the ground I'm not sure how gravity hasn't kicked in and pushed him over yet.

[katespade]

HoneySpider - I hadn't thought about an online class! Which one did you take?

[HoneySpider]

Nov 12, 2018 12:36:58 GMT -5 katespade said:

HoneySpider - I hadn't thought about an online class! Which one did you take?

I can't remember the name but let me see if I have something saved

[luv2rn4fun]

Nov 12, 2018 11:03:03 GMT -5 estrellita said:

katespade We took a birthing class (all day on a Sat) and a newborn class (2 nighttime weekday classes, I think like 2 hours each or something). I did think they were helpful, but maybe a little more for H. I felt pretty informed about what happens during labor but I don't think it's something H really ever thought about, so it was good for him to be prepared. The newborn class was helpful in a lot of ways too. That said, I don't think they're absolutely necessary if someone doesn't want to take them. Ours were cheap so we did it. Also they gave us a hospital tour so we knew what the rooms looked like which was nice.

If you plan on BFing, I'd suggest looking into a BFing class. I never took one and regret it TBH. If you're not planning on it, then no need of course In my experience though, the nurses were very unhelpful and lactation consultants were always busy so having more knowledge upfront would have been nice!

So sorry you didn’t get the BFing support you needed. I actually had quite the opposite experience and felt the class was somewhat helpful but nothing really prepares you til you have an actual baby (with a head that has to be supported, who can latch etc). My nurses and LC’s were nothing but amazing- as was L’s pediatrician who clipped his tongue tie within 24 hours of birth (right after his first ped round, so as early as possible). I couldn’t really nurse him much that first night due to his tongue tie and my nurse was wonderful in helping me basically express and spoon feed him that night.

[estrellita]

Nov 12, 2018 14:29:29 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

Nov 12, 2018 11:03:03 GMT -5 estrellita said:

katespade We took a birthing class (all day on a Sat) and a newborn class (2 nighttime weekday classes, I think like 2 hours each or something). I did think they were helpful, but maybe a little more for H. I felt pretty informed about what happens during labor but I don't think it's something H really ever thought about, so it was good for him to be prepared. The newborn class was helpful in a lot of ways too. That said, I don't think they're absolutely necessary if someone doesn't want to take them. Ours were cheap so we did it. Also they gave us a hospital tour so we knew what the rooms looked like which was nice.

If you plan on BFing, I'd suggest looking into a BFing class. I never took one and regret it TBH. If you're not planning on it, then no need of course In my experience though, the nurses were very unhelpful and lactation consultants were always busy so having more knowledge upfront would have been nice!

So sorry you didn’t get the BFing support you needed. I actually had quite the opposite experience and felt the class was somewhat helpful but nothing really prepares you til you have an actual baby (with a head that has to be supported, who can latch etc). My nurses and LC’s were nothing but amazing- as was L’s pediatrician who clipped his tongue tie within 24 hours of birth (right after his first ped round, so as early as possible). I couldn’t really nurse him much that first night due to his tongue tie and my nurse was wonderful in helping me basically express and spoon feed him that night.

I had one LC that was actually helpful that got me the correct size shield and helped me measure for correct flanges for pumping, plus gave me a ton of great pumping advice. I'm grateful to her for that, but other than that everything from the other LC and nurses was just "yeah, her latch seems fine" and just telling me everything was fine when really, it wasn't. Plus it was pumping advice, not nursing. We did have a lot working against us with A but with both I'm just sad and disappointed that I never got to nurse like I wanted to. I feel like if I had the right support from the beginning, I could have made it work. So I try to tell people to prepare on their own and don't expect help. If you get it, awesome, but I find that there are tons of women out there that don't get the support they need and end up exclusively pumping (not by choice) or just giving up and going to formula. Nothing wrong with those things, but when that's not what you planned, it can be frustrating.

[bk1]

katespade We took an all day class. It was free, and the only class offered by the hospital. I felt like the majority of it I had learned from the boards because I had been reading up so much. It did include a hospital tour which I was very glad to have. 

suzv 2 year olds are awful. I've been saying that lately to DH about C. It's just a difficult age. In my experience, it gets so much better as they get older. 



My baby is going to be 2 this week!!! We haven't made it to the party yet but I already think it was the best idea ever to have a party not at home. I'm much less stressed knowing I don't have to have my house perfectly cleaned. We are having a Two Sweet party at a candy shop in town. I think she's in a growth spurt again. She went from her normal to sleeping extra (longer naps, sleeping in) and now is fighting sleep at nap and bed time. She was up in the middle of the night as well and didn't want to settle back down. I'm glad we are having an at home day today! 

[luv2rn4fun]

Nov 12, 2018 14:43:32 GMT -5 estrellita said:

Nov 12, 2018 14:29:29 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

So sorry you didn’t get the BFing support you needed. I actually had quite the opposite experience and felt the class was somewhat helpful but nothing really prepares you til you have an actual baby (with a head that has to be supported, who can latch etc). My nurses and LC’s were nothing but amazing- as was L’s pediatrician who clipped his tongue tie within 24 hours of birth (right after his first ped round, so as early as possible). I couldn’t really nurse him much that first night due to his tongue tie and my nurse was wonderful in helping me basically express and spoon feed him that night.

I had one LC that was actually helpful that got me the correct size shield and helped me measure for correct flanges for pumping, plus gave me a ton of great pumping advice. I'm grateful to her for that, but other than that everything from the other LC and nurses was just "yeah, her latch seems fine" and just telling me everything was fine when really, it wasn't. Plus it was pumping advice, not nursing. We did have a lot working against us with A but with both I'm just sad and disappointed that I never got to nurse like I wanted to. I feel like if I had the right support from the beginning, I could have made it work. So I try to tell people to prepare on their own and don't expect help. If you get it, awesome, but I find that there are tons of women out there that don't get the support they need and end up exclusively pumping (not by choice) or just giving up and going to formula. Nothing wrong with those things, but when that's not what you planned, it can be frustrating.

Totally get it! Not the same but similar...I was induced with C at 41 weeks and it was a total failure that led to an emergency c section. Then I wanted a VBAC with L and he ended up being a RCS due to low fluid at 40w. I am bummed that I never got to experience labor at all (minus my second miscarriage, which is also the main reason a natural birth was so important to me both times...I wanted to experience labor and actually deliver a healthy baby, which I did, just not how I had envisioned) and will likely never get to experience that (even if we had a third...I don’t trust that my body would go into labor).

Sorry you had such a negative experience! At the end of the day I do think these kinds of things will ease with time and the big picture is that you provided a lot for both babies and they are healthy and thriving! That’s what I try to focus on when I think about not having my “planned” birth experience. With both boys, I am just glad they arrived and we were all healthy!

[estrellita]

Nov 12, 2018 16:47:34 GMT -5 luv2rn4fun said:

Nov 12, 2018 14:43:32 GMT -5 estrellita said:

I had one LC that was actually helpful that got me the correct size shield and helped me measure for correct flanges for pumping, plus gave me a ton of great pumping advice. I'm grateful to her for that, but other than that everything from the other LC and nurses was just "yeah, her latch seems fine" and just telling me everything was fine when really, it wasn't. Plus it was pumping advice, not nursing. We did have a lot working against us with A but with both I'm just sad and disappointed that I never got to nurse like I wanted to. I feel like if I had the right support from the beginning, I could have made it work. So I try to tell people to prepare on their own and don't expect help. If you get it, awesome, but I find that there are tons of women out there that don't get the support they need and end up exclusively pumping (not by choice) or just giving up and going to formula. Nothing wrong with those things, but when that's not what you planned, it can be frustrating.

Totally get it! Not the same but similar...I was induced with C at 41 weeks and it was a total failure that led to an emergency c section. Then I wanted a VBAC with L and he ended up being a RCS due to low fluid at 40w. I am bummed that I never got to experience labor at all (minus my second miscarriage, which is also the main reason a natural birth was so important to me both times...I wanted to experience labor and actually deliver a healthy baby, which I did, just not how I had envisioned) and will likely never get to experience that (even if we had a third...I don’t trust that my body would go into labor).

Sorry you had such a negative experience! At the end of the day I do think these kinds of things will ease with time and the big picture is that you provided a lot for both babies and they are healthy and thriving! That’s what I try to focus on when I think about not having my “planned” birth experience. With both boys, I am just glad they arrived and we were all healthy!

Very true. I keep telling myself you really can't tell now in E's preschool room who nursed or bottle feed or who was fed formula or breast milk. Or born via c-section, naturally with no meds, etc. It sucks when things don't go the way we envisioned but like you said, I'm thankful that they are healthy and happy. Most of the time I try to focus on the positives, but when I sit and pump for hours a day instead of playing with the kids or doing other things, I feel frustrated. At least I'll be done with that soon! There's finally a light at the end of the very long tunnel, lol.

[pooh8402]

E is STILL napping. About 2.5 hours now. I feel like I made the right call in keeping him home. He would have gotten a 2 hour nap at daycare, max, and it would have been early (12-2).

[melsamoony]

DS is sick with a temp, nasal congestion, and cough. Worried it will go to his ears as usual since his one tube is out.

We have his parent/teacher conference but I will likely have to go by myself as I don't think DS will be well enough to go to the childcare during the conference so DH will stay home with him.

I have a growth scan on Wed. Will be interesting to see how big baby has gotten.

[katespade]

Nov 12, 2018 11:03:03 GMT -5 estrellita said:

hey're absolutely necessary if someone doesn't want to take them. Ours were cheap so we did it. Also they gave us a hospital tour so we knew what the rooms looked like which was nice.

If you plan on BFing, I'd suggest looking into a BFing class. I never took one and regret it TBH. If you're not planning on it, then no need of course In my experience though, the nurses were very unhelpful and lactation consultants were always busy so having more knowledge upfront would have been nice!

I am planning to BF, and I've heard that the free classes offered at our hospital are really good! I feel like I'm also on the fence about paying for birth classes because we've already hired a doula, and she's providing us with two prenatal appointments that will include talking about positions and comforts and things like that. Part of our contract with her also includes some postpartum BF support, but since the BF classes are single day and free I'm less concerned about whether they're worth going to. I know that a tour of the hospital is part of the birth classes, but we already had a tour when we met with the Maternity Care Coordinator. She also went over our pain management options, took care of our pre-registration, and walked us through all the details about what we'll need to do when we head to the hospital - Where to go, how to park, getting checked in, what the hospital provides vs what to pack in our go-bags, etc.

I asked our doula if she recommends the birth classes, and her answer was kind of vague. She pretty much left it at, "It's a positive experience for many parents." Sooooo... I still don't know what we're going to do. lol.

[pooh8402]

Nov 12, 2018 19:38:55 GMT -5 katespade said:

Nov 12, 2018 11:03:03 GMT -5 estrellita said:

hey're absolutely necessary if someone doesn't want to take them. Ours were cheap so we did it. Also they gave us a hospital tour so we knew what the rooms looked like which was nice.

If you plan on BFing, I'd suggest looking into a BFing class. I never took one and regret it TBH. If you're not planning on it, then no need of course In my experience though, the nurses were very unhelpful and lactation consultants were always busy so having more knowledge upfront would have been nice!

I am planning to BF, and I've heard that the free classes offered at our hospital are really good! I feel like I'm also on the fence about paying for birth classes because we've already hired a doula, and she's providing us with two prenatal appointments that will include talking about positions and comforts and things like that. Part of our contract with her also includes some postpartum BF support, but since the BF classes are single day and free I'm less concerned about whether they're worth going to. I know that a tour of the hospital is part of the birth classes, but we already had a tour when we met with the Maternity Care Coordinator. She also went over our pain management options, took care of our pre-registration, and walked us through all the details about what we'll need to do when we head to the hospital - Where to go, how to park, getting checked in, what the hospital provides vs what to pack in our go-bags, etc.

I asked our doula if she recommends the birth classes, and her answer was kind of vague. She pretty much left it at, "It's a positive experience for many parents." Sooooo... I still don't know what we're going to do. lol.

In this case, I wouldn't bother paying for extra classes.

[luv2rn4fun]

Nov 12, 2018 22:30:02 GMT -5 pooh8402 said:

Nov 12, 2018 19:38:55 GMT -5 katespade said:

I am planning to BF, and I've heard that the free classes offered at our hospital are really good! I feel like I'm also on the fence about paying for birth classes because we've already hired a doula, and she's providing us with two prenatal appointments that will include talking about positions and comforts and things like that. Part of our contract with her also includes some postpartum BF support, but since the BF classes are single day and free I'm less concerned about whether they're worth going to. I know that a tour of the hospital is part of the birth classes, but we already had a tour when we met with the Maternity Care Coordinator. She also went over our pain management options, took care of our pre-registration, and walked us through all the details about what we'll need to do when we head to the hospital - Where to go, how to park, getting checked in, what the hospital provides vs what to pack in our go-bags, etc.

I asked our doula if she recommends the birth classes, and her answer was kind of vague. She pretty much left it at, "It's a positive experience for many parents." Sooooo... I still don't know what we're going to do. lol.

In this case, I wouldn't bother paying for extra classes.

Same katespade

[luv2rn4fun]

Our friend got put on bedtest today for continued bleeding. I feel so bad for her and pray that baby stays put for a long time (she’s 24 weeks). She has two older boys as well so I can’t imagine how hard this is for them.

[estrellita]

luv2rn4fun Ugh, that sucks Hope baby stays put as long as possible!

[estrellita]

E has been an absolute terror the last couple days. And we're trying to get him to stop getting up every night and coming out of his room in prep for moving A in there. So tonight when he came out to go potty, we just pretty much ignored him so we didn't give him the attention he was looking for. Bad idea. Finally went in there because he had locked the toilet so I went to unlock it. Well, he found his bath paints and colored on the toilet, floor, tub and towel. Wtf kid. He did say sorry and we made him clean it up.

Is there any other appropriate punishment we should be doing? We've already taken away screen time as a given and he has to earn it now by listening to us and his teachers (like today he was kicking another kid for no reason and wouldn't stop). I don't really know what else to do. That rule was more about the listening. We've also been trying to get him to earn an extra story every night but he fails miserably and gets upset when he doesn't earn it. But he seriously takes a half hour just to go potty, not to mention brush teeth, get PJs on, etc. It's so frustrating!

I'm so torn on how to parent too. Some days I want to be stricter so he listens better and learns to follow direction and get along with people. Other days I want to be a more loving mom and give in a little because he's just a kid and I want him to be happy. I try to pick my battles but how do you balance the two? I wish there was an easier answer.

[estrellita]

Oh E. I feel so bad taking him to the baby shower today, lol. First, I got him a bowl of fruit and handed it to him to carry so I could carry other stuff. Well, he tripped and spilled the entire bowl all over the floor. I swept most of it up, plus we were in a garage, but still. I left him to play with the other kids later. At some point he went outside alone with no jacket and bare feet. Apparently he was looking for other kids out there. Ugh.

Then he was playing again and I was in the garage doing a game. One of the host's daughters came into the garage saying a little boy was in the bathroom and the toilet overflowed. Well.. all the other kids were girls minus the two 1 year old boys that were with their moms. So I jumped up and ran down to find E standing there with his pants down trying to avoid the huge puddle with a whole audience of girls staring at him. Luckily he wasn't too horrified by it, lol. I think he threw a bunch of wipes into the toilet even though he denies it. I cleaned him up while the host and another person were wiping up the floor. I felt so bad but luckily the host was so laid back about it. She has 3 kids so it didn't seem to bother her, lol.

Lastly, he made me really sad when we left. As I was buckling him in, I asked if he had fun playing with the kids. He said no. I asked if he had fun playing alone (which he tends to do). He said no and that he wanted someone to play with him. I think the older girls were "too cool" for him and he felt left out. I felt so sad because I felt left out a lot as a kid so I'm super sensitive to him feeling that way. But when we got home, I found a paper from daycare I hadn't seen. It was a handprint with 5 nice things about him from his DC friends. I read the things to him and I think that really made him feel better.

So, that was my day. Lol. I wish I could leave E unsupervised a little more but.. nope.