First week of December

[shauni27]

morning, all. Happy Tuesday. I am in denial that we are already 4 days into December. I JUST GOT USED TO WRITING 2018! 

Had a fun weekend with S. He is so active and crazy and goofy. At 16 months old he has more than 30 words (though about 15 that he uses most). He can point to various body parts if we ask where they are (and if we say "where are toots from?" he points to his butt, haha). He recognizes people now and loves seeing pictures of them and saying their names (papa! bubbie! Teetee!). He loves to dance and run around and explore. We were at a holiday party at my boss's beautiful home and he was climbing on their furniture, opening all of their cabinets, running all over, etc. It was exhausting. All of the other toddlers around his age just hung out with their parents. S was like a tornado.

He had a really rough night last night and was crying, screaming and inconsolable from 6:30-11 pm. He would finally calm down and sleep in our arms and then if we would move him at all he would immediately wake back up SCREAMING. We did tylenol, gripe water (which we hadn't used in over a year!), a light heating pad on his belly, etc. Nothing seemed to help except being in our arms. We finally caved and allowed him to sleep in bed with us and he fell asleep at 11 and slept through the night. It was so weird, and a bit worrisome. I have daycare keeping an extra eye on him today.

How is everyone else's week shaping up? 

[scm1011]

Aww poor S (and mama!), shauni27. I hope it was a fluke and he has a good day. Sounds like he's lots of fun otherwise

We've been having the opposite bedtime issue, in that C has been deciding its bedtime earlier than normal and initiates the whole thing. We'll be in the middle of playing and he'll stand up and say "bye trains!" and run for the stairs to start his bedtime routine lol. Its kind of adorable and I can't really complain, but I miss time with my buddy in the evenings. He moved up to the 2s room last week so I think he must just be exhausted keeping up with the big kids.

I'm chugging along at 14 weeks pregnant. I feel like this has already been the longest pregnancy on earth (which I guess happens when you get a BFP at 3 weeks 2 days ha).

[cactuscookie]

Yikes, shauni27, what a weird night. Hopefully it's just one random time and he's back to normal tonight.

I've only raised one toddler, obviously, so I just assume all toddlers are like her. She's definitely the "open cabinets, climb on furniture, run all over" kind of toddler. I do occasionally see calmer toddlers, and it just totally blows my mind.

[thoseareradishes]

Morning. E seems to be teething again? She has all four fingers of one hand in her mouth all the time. It's gross and I offer her a teether but I guess fingers are better. Poor kiddo. When did your kid get their 2 year molars?

We have speech today and I'm curious how she will do. She refuses to vocalize there and won't even do her signs anymore. Last week her therapist brought up discharging her since she isn't actually doing anything while we're there, which is okay with me, since I was considering pulling her and going somewhere else anyway. However, it also annoys me because I already don't like her therapist a whole lot, and this makes me feel like he's just giving up on her. I'm a little worried because she still doesn't have any words (17/21 months old) but I think we definitely need a different therapist. We're signed up for a parent-child small group speech group starting after the holidays and I'm hoping that will be good for her.

A good thing is that she picks up signs really quickly now - for example, she recently discovered her toys turn on and off. So she would grunt and point when she wanted one turned on. I taught her the sign for "on" and she's been using it with just a little bit of prompting. Her receptive language, at least to me, seems really good too; she can follow directions and seems to understand most of what I say. She rarely vocalizes outside of the house or around other people though, so I'm worried about how she will do at her preemie clinic appt in January.

[EllenGriswold]

Hi all! I don’t know who remembers me but I was on the board a couple years ago. I’ve been reading and trying to keep up with everyone but I got a new job and haven’t been posting anymore. It’s so great to hear about everyone’s babies and now toddlers! G was born July 2016 so he’s almost 2.5 and we are thinking about getting back in the saddle with treatment. I’ve got an appointment next week to talk to the RE and we are hoping for a FET in early 2019. As I’m getting back in this mindset I’m remembering how important this board was for me a few years ago and I wanted to say hello and wish everyone well. Hopefully I’ll be around more often!

[G22]

Dec 4, 2018 11:52:16 GMT -5 EllenGriswold said:

Hi all! I don’t know who remembers me but I was on the board a couple years ago. I’ve been reading and trying to keep up with everyone but I got a new job and haven’t been posting anymore. It’s so great to hear about everyone’s babies and now toddlers! G was born July 2016 so he’s almost 2.5 and we are thinking about getting back in the saddle with treatment. I’ve got an appointment next week to talk to the RE and we are hoping for a FET in early 2019. As I’m getting back in this mindset I’m remembering how important this board was for me a few years ago and I wanted to say hello and wish everyone well. Hopefully I’ll be around more often!

I remember you! Welcome back, though I'm sorry you'll be needing IF treatments again. I'm in and out these days, but we are gearing up for a FET in Feb for #2. So well be doing this all again together is looks like.

[shauni27]

thoseareradishes, that must be really frustrating with regards to the current therapist. I am really sorry It sounds like you are doing all the right things, though. She really is lucky to have you as her mama. <3

EllenGriswold, I will literally never forget you, as you are one of the many people on the board to send me unused meds, saving me thousands of dollars. Glad to hear life is going well!!

[EllenGriswold]

Dec 4, 2018 11:58:05 GMT -5 G22 said:

Dec 4, 2018 11:52:16 GMT -5 EllenGriswold said:

Hi all! I don’t know who remembers me but I was on the board a couple years ago. I’ve been reading and trying to keep up with everyone but I got a new job and haven’t been posting anymore. It’s so great to hear about everyone’s babies and now toddlers! G was born July 2016 so he’s almost 2.5 and we are thinking about getting back in the saddle with treatment. I’ve got an appointment next week to talk to the RE and we are hoping for a FET in early 2019. As I’m getting back in this mindset I’m remembering how important this board was for me a few years ago and I wanted to say hello and wish everyone well. Hopefully I’ll be around more often!

I remember you! Welcome back, though I'm sorry you'll be needing IF treatments again. I'm in and out these days, but we are gearing up for a FET in Feb for #2. So well be doing this all again together is looks like.

I was hoping we might be one of those couples where things spontaneously work after the first IVF but no luck so far. We are fairly lucky in the scheme of things though, we have 5 frozen embryos waiting for us at the RE. Glad to know I might have a cycle buddy!

[G22]

Dec 4, 2018 16:24:49 GMT -5 EllenGriswold said:

Dec 4, 2018 11:58:05 GMT -5 G22 said:

I remember you! Welcome back, though I'm sorry you'll be needing IF treatments again. I'm in and out these days, but we are gearing up for a FET in Feb for #2. So well be doing this all again together is looks like.

I was hoping we might be one of those couples where things spontaneously work after the first IVF but no luck so far. We are fairly lucky in the scheme of things though, we have 5 frozen embryos waiting for us at the RE. Glad to know I might have a cycle buddy!

I was also hoping we'd be that lucky too. My cycles really regulated after having my son, but we also have male factor issues so it wasnt to be. We have 2 frozen embryos left from the IVF that gave us our son so hopefully one of those will be it! Good luck to you!

[pooh8402]

Dec 4, 2018 16:24:49 GMT -5 EllenGriswold said:

Dec 4, 2018 11:58:05 GMT -5 G22 said:

I remember you! Welcome back, though I'm sorry you'll be needing IF treatments again. I'm in and out these days, but we are gearing up for a FET in Feb for #2. So well be doing this all again together is looks like.

I was hoping we might be one of those couples where things spontaneously work after the first IVF but no luck so far. We are fairly lucky in the scheme of things though, we have 5 frozen embryos waiting for us at the RE. Glad to know I might have a cycle buddy!

we were kind of hoping for the same (I even went on birth control) yet kind of not because we had 3 frozen embryos that we wanted to have a chance at life. we only tried for like 2 months on our own before our first RE appointment though so we didn't try for long. long story short, we needed 2 more IVF cycles and learned that my H has 100% anti-sperm antibodies, so spontaneously conceived pregnancies are NOT going to happen for us. so yay no birth control for meeeee but boo because I'll have to go back to guessing when AF shows.

DH is pretty sure he's done (he's even talking about vasectomy again but WHY?) but I'm not so sure. we now have 4 embryos banked that are better quality than the 3 we had before. we haven't decided yet what their fate is.

[Mushe]

EllenGriswold, how are you? Good to see you here! Are you in the same subject area as before, that we share? Wishing you the best as you head towards FET.

[EllenGriswold]

Dec 4, 2018 20:05:43 GMT -5 Mushe said:

EllenGriswold, how are you? Good to see you here! Are you in the same subject area as before, that we share? Wishing you the best as you head towards FET.

Hello! Thank you! And congrats to you on everything! I actually changed jobs a couple years ago so I’m in the courtroom now. It’s a change but it’s been good!

[icedcoffee]

Welcome back EllenGriswold. Add me to the list of people that thought we'd have no problem TTC #2. I also went on BCP after DS was born and I was genuinely shocked when the RE told us IVF is still the only way to conceive for us. LOL. Selective amnesia, I guess. Anyway--we didn't have any frozen from our first IVF so we just did another round. My beta is Monday. Good luck as you head towards FET!

[pandora89]

EllenGriswold - I remember you from when you were cycling! Glad to see you back but sorry that you need to pursue treatments again.

E is just in everything. He just started crawling Thursday and since then now pulls to standing and crawls so fast. He does not sit still anymore. I was not ready for this, he isn’t even 7 months yet lol. I can see why second time parents say they discourage their second child from crawling/walking/standing. He also needs a haircut so we will probably do that this week or next. My baby 😢

[loira]

thoseareradishes, I would not be concerned with E not talking outside the home. A wouldn't say anything to anyone but family for the longest time. Could you get your H to take video footage of her interacting with you that shows her verbal strengths and weaknesses? Might be an easier way for a professional to observe her.

[loira]

I was thinking of Kristind3 today. I think it's coming up on a year since baby Cal passed away. Is anyone in touch with her?

[thoseareradishes]

That's a good idea loira, we should try it because I know she's going to clam up at her appt. We're out of the house AND at the doctor, which she hates more than anything else. Poor thing cried tonight when we took the cat to the vet, she was so worried we were there for her.

We did end up discharging from speech; I have mixed feelings about it but it is what it is.

[shauni27]

Dec 5, 2018 19:31:47 GMT -5 loira said:

I was thinking of Kristind3 today. I think it's coming up on a year since baby Cal passed away. Is anyone in touch with her?

I thought of her yesterday, as well (and promptly burst into tears--yeesh!) I hope she is doing ok. I think of her regularly.

[pinkpeony08]

It’s been a super long week. I had my D&c yesterday, which went fine. The doctor amazingly brought back teeeny footprints for me. They are in a beautiful card made by RESOLVE. I am so grateful to have them. I took the whole week off of work and my husband has been working from home all week. Happy to have the company at home.

[cactuscookie]

Dec 6, 2018 10:53:15 GMT -5 pinkpeony08 said:

It’s been a super long week. I had my D&c yesterday, which went fine. The doctor amazingly brought back teeeny footprints for me. They are in a beautiful card made by RESOLVE. I am so grateful to have them. I took the whole week off of work and my husband has been working from home all week. Happy to have the company at home.

So much love to you.

[icedcoffee]

pinkpeony08, I hope you have a quick recovery. I'm so sad you have to endure this. Hugs.

[Mushe]

Dec 5, 2018 13:45:54 GMT -5 EllenGriswold said:

Dec 4, 2018 20:05:43 GMT -5 Mushe said:

EllenGriswold, how are you? Good to see you here! Are you in the same subject area as before, that we share? Wishing you the best as you head towards FET.

Hello! Thank you! And congrats to you on everything! I actually changed jobs a couple years ago so I’m in the courtroom now. It’s a change but it’s been good!

Awesome! Glad is a good change. I honestly miss court life a lot.

[Mushe]

(((pinkpeony08))) wow, what a hard week. 😥 I am so glad you have your H, and your incredible doctor. Thinking of you. 💕

[shauni27]

pinkpeony08, I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I am glad the procedure is done and behind you and that they medical team provided you with a thoughtful keepsake.

[oneslybookworm]

thoseareradishes, I feel like I'll have lots of questions for you after G's 18 month appt. Sounds like the therapist wasn't a good fit at all, but I'd also have mixed feelings about discharging. I'm glad E does well with signing though, that helps I'm sure!

Things are good here. G is an active toddler, running around and acting crazy most of the time. We've started co-sleeping with him (don't ask me why, but here we are) and that's going really well. I enjoy the snuggles, and DH does as well, so...it works for us, for now. G is nearly 16 months adjusted, and I'm so excited for christmas! I need to get his gifts wrapped, then at some point, J and I need to put together his kitchen (i've read reviews that it's a PITA to assemble, so I want to get a jump on it). Otherwise, I only have a few little projects left to do, then I'm done and ready to enjoy the holiday!

[starryfish]

EllenGriswold, sorry you are here again but it is nice to see you! I remember you! My dd is only 6 months younger than your baby!

We are doing one more IUI this month before we move onto the IVF trial in the spring. We switched meds and did gonalF instead of menopur and i responded SO much better. trigger tomorrow and IUI monday!!!!!

My BABY is going to be TWO next week. OMG all the feels.....I love her so much and I cant believe it has been TWO years!!!!!!! We are doing a party/playdate with her two friends from daycare and their parents. Should be low key and fun. Minnie mouse theme as she is OBSESSED with her lately (and cats lol).

[pinkpeony08]

I met my friend from work for coffee this morning. She brought a card from my other colleagues that was lovely and very appreciated with a donation to the local community center. They contacted other resources (I work at the hospital) who sent an envelope of resources to borrow. Ugh, I know they were trying to be helpful, but they were all about your first loss or stories about losses. All of which were a single loss or a handful of which were two. Almost all the stories ended with a healthy baby in the end. I know they were trying to be helpful, but they were so not as we face the reality that the third child we long for really is unlikely to happen at this point. I don't know if the 4th loss part was lost in translation or if they didn't really review the resources. I know we are now in the less than 1% of the population and that there are really limited resources, but still. I'm bringing them back to my coworker on Monday with the message to relay back to them.

[loira]

Dec 7, 2018 17:14:23 GMT -5 pinkpeony08 said:

I met my friend from work for coffee this morning. She brought a card from my other colleagues that was lovely and very appreciated with a donation to the local community center. They contacted other resources (I work at the hospital) who sent an envelope of resources to borrow. Ugh, I know they were trying to be helpful, but they were all about your first loss or stories about losses. All of which were a single loss or a handful of which were two. Almost all the stories ended with a healthy baby in the end. I know they were trying to be helpful, but they were so not as we face the reality that the third child we long for really is unlikely to happen at this point. I don't know if the 4th loss part was lost in translation or if they didn't really review the resources. I know we are now in the less than 1% of the population and that there are really limited resources, but still. I'm bringing them back to my coworker on Monday with the message to relay back to them.

I'm sorry, some people can be so clueless in their good intentions. If you're genuinely looking for resources, I will try to remember the name of the book I read after losing V. Not all chapters were relevant to my losses, but lots were, and even my mum and dad found it helpful as it had a chapter for grandparents. It did not sugar coat things with "but you'll get your baby eventually!".

[pinkpeony08]

Dec 8, 2018 18:12:30 GMT -5 loira said:

Dec 7, 2018 17:14:23 GMT -5 pinkpeony08 said:

I met my friend from work for coffee this morning. She brought a card from my other colleagues that was lovely and very appreciated with a donation to the local community center. They contacted other resources (I work at the hospital) who sent an envelope of resources to borrow. Ugh, I know they were trying to be helpful, but they were all about your first loss or stories about losses. All of which were a single loss or a handful of which were two. Almost all the stories ended with a healthy baby in the end. I know they were trying to be helpful, but they were so not as we face the reality that the third child we long for really is unlikely to happen at this point. I don't know if the 4th loss part was lost in translation or if they didn't really review the resources. I know we are now in the less than 1% of the population and that there are really limited resources, but still. I'm bringing them back to my coworker on Monday with the message to relay back to them.

I'm sorry, some people can be so clueless in their good intentions. If you're genuinely looking for resources, I will try to remember the name of the book I read after losing V. Not all chapters were relevant to my losses, but lots were, and even my mum and dad found it helpful as it had a chapter for grandparents. It did not sugar coat things with "but you'll get your baby eventually!".

I would love the title. Let me know if it comes back to you. I could maybe even tell the bereavement coordinator and child life (who sent the resources) to give it instead.

[loira]

Dec 8, 2018 18:48:44 GMT -5 pinkpeony08 said:

Dec 8, 2018 18:12:30 GMT -5 loira said:

I'm sorry, some people can be so clueless in their good intentions. If you're genuinely looking for resources, I will try to remember the name of the book I read after losing V. Not all chapters were relevant to my losses, but lots were, and even my mum and dad found it helpful as it had a chapter for grandparents. It did not sugar coat things with "but you'll get your baby eventually!".

I would love the title. Let me know if it comes back to you. I could maybe even tell the bereavement coordinator and child life (who sent the resources) to give it instead.

I found it! I hated the title for some reason I still can't articulate, but the book is very practical. I'm the sort of person who appreciates a no-nonsense validation of my feelings, with concrete examples of what I might expect in my grief. I guess others who reviewed it found it a bit clinical though... www.goodreads.com/book/show/299977.A_Silent_Sorrow