waverly, how bad is he wheezing and why? My DS has asthma, and I would be likely to send him Tuesday, just because he wheezes a lot. But if it’s an odd occurrence, I would take him to work? Work from home? Surrender? School is closed tomorrow for windchill here after a snow day today.
Doctor prescribed oral steroids and he was retracting and flaring his nostrils so I think worse than normal. I decided I will work Thurs/ Fri. The only problem with that is there might be s delayed start in Thursday for work due to the cold temps.
waverly - if you have backup sick care, ours had an area for “not sick, medical needs” kids. DS went when he was well with low O2 sat and they played with him and gave him breathing treatments. I also mentioned this in passing to our school nurse, who said she would be happy to have him at school and recommended borrowing a sat meter and sending his breathing treatments. We did that and she checked him I think 4x a day and gave him 2-3 treatments a day. I worked. It was awesome. So may be worth asking how they handle those kids....I am sure they have seen it before, not sure if they have a plan.
Belatedly - weekend was good. Rode bikes, family lunch with my mom, movie night with the family. Sunday I ran 13 miles of trails and it suuuuucked. I mean the first 9 were fine. Then 2 were horrible. Then the last 2 were ok. Andplusalso it was supposed to be 10 but when I showed up our coach was like -- um you need to do 12 b/c it's actually a 6 mile out and back and I don't want you to be in the forest alone (I tend to get lost). But it wasn't 12 it was 13.
While we were all running and chatting I figured out that there is an event at DD's school on the same day as the 10 mile trail race I was supposed to do this coming weekend. So...that entry fee is gone. I love that race and I'm bummed but I can't really envision me missing DD's thing so it is what it is.
Yesterday I did some work booking things for DD's birthday party the first weekend in march and I am so excited! It's going to be the cutest bestest pink dinosaur party ever!
Post by supertrooper1 on Jan 29, 2019 10:18:54 GMT -5
I ended up spending 5 hours yesterday in the ER with H. He was having chest pains but it turned out to be another panic attack. I had just gotten home, stressed from my new supervisor insisting that I start my new job Monday and was ready to exercise my frustrations out. Just as I was getting my shoes on, I got a text from H's coworker saying that 911 had been called and he didn't feel well. I ended up following the ambulance to the ER, where he sat for hours. We both knew it was a panic attack, but they had to go through all of their tests to make sure it wasn't a heart attack. I'm glad it wasn't, but I'm tired today.
I have OT today and I have to figure out how to transition to my new job in 3 working days.
I severely injured my back shoveling the snow at the end of the driveway- the heavy kind from the road plows.
I complained to DH so he is arranging a plow, but too little too late. I am already injured like can’t move without crying and solo parenting all week until he gets back from his super fun trip to Buenos Aires.
DD1 had a good week last week. Very little fighting (with exceptions here and there). It all fell apart Sunday afternoon, when DH and I refused to entertain her. She’d been with friends or my mom having a special day for the whole weekend, and then once she was no longer entertained elsewhere, it was our job to do so.
Her messy, nasty behavior continued through yesterday into today. She is refusing to shower (and OMG she stinks), brush teeth, etc. I can’t allow natural consequences because I don’t think you ever recover socially from being the “smelly kid”.
She starts a group tonight facilitated by a psychologist, full of kids with similar anxiety and exec function issues. I’m hoping for the best. Because I’m pretty stuck otherwise. Everyone I’ve called has a 6 month waiting list to be seen unless I start pulling her out of school.
I’m feeling lost, and like I’m failing her. I feel like someone else could do a much better job with her. I feel like I’m not equipped to deal with her.
waverly, I'm sorry, that snow that gets plowed into the end of the driveway sucks to shovel. Between being injured and the school closures and you DS being sick, and solo parenting, it it the kind of week where I would give up and let the kids binge on TV and ipads. There is a point when you just go into survival mode.
Yup DS asked if he could turn on the TV after we got home from the pharmacy and I was like I don’t care.
He can’t go to basketball if he is wheezing correct? Day 1 of steroid because the doctor and pharmacy screwed up last night and are blaming each other.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jan 29, 2019 12:49:59 GMT -5
supertrooper1, regarding the transition, is it the case that you have an actual obligation to transition without causing problems to your old department? Or is it just that you don't want to cause problems to your old department? Because they will eventually just figure it out even if it does cause pain.
Also, that was really good of you to go to the ER with your ex.
Post by traveltheworld on Jan 29, 2019 13:47:28 GMT -5
waverly, sorry to hear about your back. That has happened to me before (also from snow shoveling), and it really sucks.
I would keep your DS home. My DS has asthma, and running around definitely would not be good for him. The steroids take about 24 - 48 hours to kick in.
k3am- solidarity. I had to give my first review yesterday to an employee whose behavior is not on target. He’s a Needs Improvement. He was furious. I made my VP sit in on his review so I had a witness, and because our VP adores this guy. Luckily our VP saw yesterday what I see: someone who can’t work as a team mate and who refuses to take responsibility for his actions. So I walked out to my car with my VP yesterday and he just said “He’s not going to make it in our company if he can’t change that behavior.” Yup, bossman, that’s what I’ve been telling you.
Post by mustardseed2007 on Jan 29, 2019 15:08:30 GMT -5
k3am, I remember a past admin who was just horrible to deal with. When I had to have sit downs with her, my stomach felt like it was in actual knots. So sorry. Good job though!
She also has gone home for the day now with chest pains. Apparently the news was that bad.
I have never gotten or received a verbal warning of any substance before, so I have no idea how it went on the spectrum of actual warnings. (I've gotten two "verbal" warnings - both by email about sending out information that violated our security policy... NBD type of stuff.)
I let her lead the discussion and try to talk circles around me too much, but other points did alright redirecting the conversation. I feel like my boss should be buying me a case of wine for all the stress this has caused.
Post by supertrooper1 on Jan 29, 2019 16:05:08 GMT -5
mustardseed2007, I can make the transition any time since I don't have any completely necessary obligations. I have a few projects that would just require forwarding emails to my other 3 teammates. It's more that my location doesn't want to lose me. The running joke is on my days off, people will stop by my office as ask when supertrooper is coming back because they have gotten used to me being their go-to person. At least 2 of my 3 other teammates have a clue now and can easily work without me. And really, I'm only an email/IM/call away for my team.
UPDATE: My new start date is March 4th. A high level manager at my location went way above my new supervisor's head.
And I know I've basically needed my hand held through this process, so thanks for all the advice and commiseration along the way. I'd take you out to happy hour and charge it in to show my appreciation.
And I know that today isn't going to cause any sweeping changes to occur. Maybe she sticks around until maternity leave. Maybe I'll be back bitching about trying to take over her work too.
Oh Jeez, guys. I did another review today if someone who had specifically asked for pointed, “help me improve” feedback. He’s a very good employee. Very strong performer. But sheesh. I gave him a couple of specific examples of behaviors that he could change, and he acted like I had kicked his dog, slapped his daughter, and then dented his pickup truck on purpose. He was honestly almost in tears.
I’m failing at this leadership thing. Jesus. Can this week just END???
Post by erinshelley21 on Jan 29, 2019 21:12:16 GMT -5
mae0111 I would not think twice about taking my kid out of school to go to an appointment, or multiple, that would make our lives easier. She's 9 or close to it right? Her well-being, and yours, is far more important than a few days (or just half days) of school in the grand scheme of things. You are not failing her and you're a great mom. Dont ever doubt that.
@mae011 - ITA with pulling her out of school. Do it now while she’s small, the stakes are low, teachers are negotiable...it’s much harder when they are older. And you are doing great. For real. It’s hard and it sucks but you are doing it. Keep doing it.
mommyatty, in my experience people who are looking for that kind of feedback usually want their ego stroked a little at the same time they are looking for a thing to improve on. I like the idea of a compliment sandwich. Give him some really good things he is doing. Then 1 maybe 2 things to improve upon and then another 1 or 2 positive feedback. Especially since it seems like he is a good employee. Start on a good note and end on a good note.
mae0111, I am so sorry you are feeling that way. Nothing we can say is going to fix it, but you are reaching out for solutions and you are doing what is best for her. She knows she can be mean and nasty to you because home is her safe space and you are going to love her anyway. Hopefully you can take comfort in the fact that you have created a loving environment that she can safely fall apart in.
Does she have a diagnosis? If so maybe you can look into some sort of parenting therapy or classes that deal with parenting a child with these types of behaviors. I second pulling her out of school to help her. The sooner you can start the better and I think the school would be fine with it.
mommyatty , in my experience people who are looking for that kind of feedback usually want their ego stroked a little at the same time they are looking for a thing to improve on. I like the idea of a compliment sandwich. Give him some really good things he is doing. Then 1 maybe 2 things to improve upon and then another 1 or 2 positive feedback. Especially since it seems like he is a good employee. Start on a good note and end on a good note.
I did the compliment sandwich! But he still just completely focused on the negative, both in the write up and the conversation. Ugh. I didn’t sleep last night. He needed the feedback. He has some bad habits that turn people off and really get in the way of his being effective. Plus I’ve given him item to do - strategic things like reorganizing his team’s workload to balance it- that he just failed to accomplish. But on the other hand, he’s great at juggling a ton of work, he gets the day to day shit done like nobody’s business, and he’s a good leader. But Lordy, he apparently can’t take feedback.
mae0111, how did the first session go? And I agree with pulling her out of school if that didn’t seem a good fit.. She has a health issue. Mental health issues are still HEALTH issues. It’s perfectly appropriate to pull her out for appointments to deal with those issues.
Thank you all. I’m hesitant to pull her out for a few reasons. First, I’m also pursuing a medical diagnosis, and have been lining up meetings with specialists - gastrointestinal for allergies and gut bacteria stuff; neuropsych and infectious disease because her symptoms sound a lot like PANS; lab work and pediatrician (and all the labs close at 330pm 🙄). To pull her for a regular weekly appointment on top of it seemed excessive.
She is also anxious about missing school for stuff like this because she’s embarrassed and doesn’t want to explain why she’s leaving. She cannot lie to her friends (lies to me without issue, but not her friends) and they would all ask where she’s going. She missed a day last week for her lactose breath test and was really upset about having to explain her absence.