Post by lexisgrrl1980 on Jun 19, 2019 9:30:57 GMT -5
My heart is breaking for you. Please take care of yourself and take time to grieve this horrible loss. It is so unfair after everything that you've already been through, thinking about you and sending you whatever thoughts you need to get through this.
Post by EllenGriswold on Jun 19, 2019 9:55:10 GMT -5
No no no. I’m so so sorry for your loss (and previous losses). I hate that this is so unfair. Please be kind to yourself - take all the time you need and let yourself be angry. Whatever you decide about the future, just know that you have a large group of ladies wishing the best for you, whatever that future holds.
seeyalater52, my heart just sank. I am so, so heartbroken for you. I wish there was something I could say or do that would make things easier for you or provide clarity. infertility is awful. add on a layer of multiple losses and it is indescribable. I am sending so much love and support as you navigate this awful journey.
Post by lovelyshoes on Jun 19, 2019 12:50:28 GMT -5
This is so I credibly unfair. I am so sorry for your losses and everything you have been through. There are truly no words. Sending you peace. Lean on all of us.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 19, 2019 13:11:26 GMT -5
Thank you all so much for all the support. It means the world. This is becoming a nightmare, my doctor doesn’t want to call it yet because my hCG went up an appropriate amount so she is preparing me for a likely miscarriage at the end of this but we are starting with a confirmation scan on Monday to be sure it’s not just slow-growing (which would still likely end badly but hey.) Then they want to test the POC so I’ll either have to collect it at home or have a D&C next week. I’m leaning toward the D&C, I’m not strong enough to manage a medicated miscarriage at home I dont think.
I’m so incredibly angry I feel like screaming. And sad, of course. But mostly angry. 4 fucking miscarriages and no one can even tell me what is wrong.
I hope that you don’t need this suggestion and that things look good Monday, but I did an at home medicated miscarriage at about 6-7 weeks and had to collect for testing. If I had to do it again I would do the D&C. It is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
I hope that you don’t need this suggestion and that things look good Monday, but I did an at home medicated miscarriage at about 6-7 weeks and had to collect for testing. If I had to do it again I would do the D&C. It is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.
I think that is what I’m envisioning. I’m also terrified I’ll start to pass it before Monday and end up having to improvise the collection, which sounds like hell and would likely end up with a contaminated sample. But my RE seemed pretty confident based on my hCG numbers (which rose normally WHAT THE FUCK) that this wouldn’t happen.
I don't know if you're looking for personal stories, but I did a D&C with both of my miscarriages and it was best for my mental health. I also did the miscarriage testing and the results came back very conclusive with a chromosomal abnormality that was incompatible with life. The D&C was physically very easy and I didn't have to collect the miscarriage for testing which would have been too much for me to handle emotionally. The miscarriage testing tells you whether the chromosomal abnormality came from the egg or sperm, but also whether the embryo was male or female, which humanized the miscarriage in an uncomfortable way. I don't want you to be blindsided by that information.
Everything you're describing sounds like an absolute nightmare. Especially the waiting to find out what is or isn't happening. Hopefully the testing will yield some answers on what's going on. But I'm so sorry you're having to make these choices.
I don't know if you're looking for personal stories, but I did a D&C with both of my miscarriages and it was best for my mental health. I also did the miscarriage testing and the results came back very conclusive with a chromosomal abnormality that was incompatible with life. The D&C was physically very easy and I didn't have to collect the miscarriage for testing which would have been too much for me to handle emotionally. The miscarriage testing tells you whether the chromosomal abnormality came from the egg or sperm, but also whether the embryo was male or female, which humanized the miscarriage in an uncomfortable way. I don't want you to be blindsided by that information.
Everything you're describing sounds like an absolute nightmare. Especially the waiting to find out what is or isn't happening. Hopefully the testing will yield some answers on what's going on. But I'm so sorry you're having to make these choices.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds so messed up, but I’d give about a million dollars to know if my prior pregnancies were male or female. I’m sure it will hurt like hell, but I think we want to know. Mostly I’m just hoping that doing the D&C will make it as painless as possible and over quickly, and reduce the likelihood of contamination of the sample. If there is one tiny good thing that could come out of this it would be knowing if we grabbed an aneuploid embryo - if so, it may be that some of these changes we made to the protocol could work out if we did another cycle with PGS testing.
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds so messed up, but I’d give about a million dollars to know if my prior pregnancies were male or female. I’m sure it will hurt like hell, but I think we want to know. Mostly I’m just hoping that doing the D&C will make it as painless as possible and over quickly, and reduce the likelihood of contamination of the sample. If there is one tiny good thing that could come out of this it would be knowing if we grabbed an aneuploid embryo - if so, it may be that some of these changes we made to the protocol could work out if we did another cycle with PGS testing.
My first miscarriage was a blighted ovum which was discovered at the 8-week ultrasound and sounds really similar to what you described today. My hcg was exactly where it was supposed to be for 8 weeks (maybe 30,000? I can't remember) and my doctor said it could take weeks for the miscarriage to happen on its own. There were 5 days between the ultrasound and the D&C and I was terrified I would start bleeding in between. Luckily, my body held out and I was able to choose the surgery to make it all happen quickly and painlessly.
The miscarriage testing was what pointed us toward knowing there were problems with our embryos, so it really provided valuable information. Knowing whether you ended up with an aneuploid or a euploid embryo will be a small victory in this process. And I hope hearing the sex of the embryo will help you too.
I just wish this could have stuck around for you. It just all sucks.
edited to add: The testing we did was Anora through Natera. I don't know if there are other options, but Anora is the one that tells you the specific results I'm mentioning.
Noooo. I am so sorry. My first lost was like this. I had betas that were mostly rising like they were supposed to. Went in at 6w4d and saw an empty sac. Dr. wouldn't confirm miscarriage and said to wait and see what happened. I did end up losing the pregnancy, I started bleeding about a week later. It's all hell, the loss, the waiting, the not knowing, the infertility, the unanswered questions. I am so so sorry you are going through this.