Post by pinkpeony08 on Jun 19, 2019 16:15:49 GMT -5
So very sorry. I agree that a d&c is physically quick and pretty painless, and I felt like having a scheduled time takes away the worry that you could miscarry at any time. I was further along for all of mine, but my OB did explain the risk of bleeding being high enough I would require a transfusion and that the d&c was safest option for me though he would have respected my choice to miscarry at home when it was a first trimester loss.
I had my first loss just tested for number of chromosomes, but the last two were sent for microarray, which provides even more genetic information than just having the correct number of chromosomes. It sounded like the microarray was becoming standard, but it's worth asking. It also sounds like insurance doesn't consistently cover the microarray, but the company who mine was sent to decreased to $99 if you call if it's not covered. I was initially pretty panicked after getting a bill for $6800, but when I called, they sent me a form and it dropped to $99. Income didn't impact eligibility from what I remember because our combined income would exclude us from most discounts.
So very sorry. I agree that a d&c is physically quick and pretty painless, and I felt like having a scheduled time takes away the worry that you could miscarry at any time. I was further along for all of mine, but my OB did explain the risk of bleeding being high enough I would require a transfusion and that the d&c was safest option for me though he would have respected my choice to miscarry at home when it was a first trimester loss.
I had my first loss just tested for number of chromosomes, but the last two were sent for microarray, which provides even more genetic information than just having the correct number of chromosomes. It sounded like the microarray was becoming standard, but it's worth asking. It also sounds like insurance doesn't consistently cover the microarray, but the company who mine was sent to decreased to $99 if you call if it's not covered. I was initially pretty panicked after getting a bill for $6800, but when I called, they sent me a form and it dropped to $99. Income didn't impact eligibility from what I remember because our combined income would exclude us from most discounts.
This is all super helpful information, thank you. My RE seemed confident that insurance would cover it but it’s good to remember that there are usually self pay rates for these bills. I’m 99% sure they want a microarray rather than the standard chromosomal testing but I’ll have to ask about it on Monday. Mostly I’m terrified I’ll start to miscarry naturally before I get scheduled since it will be sometime next week, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it I suppose.
Post by FishChicks on Jun 19, 2019 16:51:14 GMT -5
No, no, no, no. My heart breaks for you. Sending you so much love right now. It may not feel like you want to, but you can survive this. You're in my thoughts.
So very sorry. I agree that a d&c is physically quick and pretty painless, and I felt like having a scheduled time takes away the worry that you could miscarry at any time. I was further along for all of mine, but my OB did explain the risk of bleeding being high enough I would require a transfusion and that the d&c was safest option for me though he would have respected my choice to miscarry at home when it was a first trimester loss.
I had my first loss just tested for number of chromosomes, but the last two were sent for microarray, which provides even more genetic information than just having the correct number of chromosomes. It sounded like the microarray was becoming standard, but it's worth asking. It also sounds like insurance doesn't consistently cover the microarray, but the company who mine was sent to decreased to $99 if you call if it's not covered. I was initially pretty panicked after getting a bill for $6800, but when I called, they sent me a form and it dropped to $99. Income didn't impact eligibility from what I remember because our combined income would exclude us from most discounts.
This is all super helpful information, thank you. My RE seemed confident that insurance would cover it but it’s good to remember that there are usually self pay rates for these bills. I’m 99% sure they want a microarray rather than the standard chromosomal testing but I’ll have to ask about it on Monday. Mostly I’m terrified I’ll start to miscarry naturally before I get scheduled since it will be sometime next week, but we will cross that bridge when we get to it I suppose.
I'll cross my fingers that nothing happens until your d&c. I worried about the same, but I never had anything happen. My doctor was also willing to schedule me pretty quickly - within 2-3 days after confirming the loss. I hope yours can do the same.
Your RE should know about the insurance coverage for their microarray company. Otherwise, I know our RE office has an insurance person who calls and figures out insurance coverage for patients. You could ask if they could call if you don't want to deal with it, but I'm guessing it will be covered or have a low cost if it's not.
I found this course extremely helpful after miscarriages - meaganschultz.com/an-invitation-to-grieve though honestly I was so angry after the last one that I didn't do it. It was extremely helpful for the others though. I felt like it gave me some direction. The biggest thing is it emphasized feeling however you feel is ok and just to feel angry/sad and not worry about what's next.
I had a d&c with my loss at 8 weeks. There was no way I would have been able to miscarry naturally at home. The d&c was physically easy, and emotionally was better for me as well. I didn't want to wait around for the process to begin on its own. It was also helpful to know that the baby had trisomy 7, which is incompatible with life and rarely progresses past the first trimester. We never did find out the sex, but I've always wondered.
(FWIW, I'm going in for a D&C today, my first, for the same reason as you - they will do additional genetic testing, even though we did the PGD, and I really just want it over because the sac is still there and I'm worry about being in pain and drawing this whole thing out.)
(FWIW, I'm going in for a D&C today, my first, for the same reason as you - they will do additional genetic testing, even though we did the PGD, and I really just want it over because the sac is still there and I'm worry about being in pain and drawing this whole thing out.)
I almost still can’t believe this is happening. I’m pretty sure I’m going to do the D&C based on my research and others’ experience, even though I’m a little scared that I’ll be the 1% of people who end up with scarring that impacts future pregnancies because of fucking course that would happen to me. I just feel so scared to try to deal with it at home and the pain and trauma of the whole thing. I’m so traumatized by this already, I cant imagine adding to it in any way.
seeyalater52, I hope you don't think you have stalkers because I was also following your story and rooting for you.
I thought I would chime in because I had four miscarriages. My last miscarriage was a blighted ovum that was discovered at 6 weeks and followed until 8 weeks when the OB/GYN made the definitive call that it wasn't just bad dates and was indeed a miscarriage.
Prior to that loss I had two D&Cs. One was very quick and "painless" (physically) and one that had some complications (retained tissue, hemorrhaging, then very slowly dropping number) . But even with the complications I never had regrets about doing it.
For my blighted ovum I did not have a D&C (my best friend is an OB and she warned me that 3+ D&Cs can really increase likelihood of pelvic issues and scarring). My body held on to that pregnancy for another 8 weeks. I didn't naturally miscarry until "16 weeks". DO NOT BE ME. I regret that decision all the time. Not only was it emotionally draining to carry the sac that long, it was really bad when I did finally naturally miscarry. I almost needed a D&C anyway. At the time it seemed like the smartest thing to do long term, but dammit I wish I had just had the D&C at 8 weeks and moved on.
Wishing you peace. Wishing you a straightforward and complications free D&C. I am so sorry you are going through this. Multiple losses is a shitty club to belong to.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 20, 2019 18:42:51 GMT -5
calmcosmo I’m so sorry for your losses and thank you for sharing. I’m definitely eager to get this pregnancy out of me. It honestly is so horrible to think that my dead baby is still inside me. I’m pretty sure I’ll do the D&C but if not it will be a medically managed miscarriage, or I suppose the possibility that stopping the insane amounts of progesterone will help clue my body in. I cant imagine having to go 8 weeks, that must have been so hard.
I hope you don’t mind my asking, but did you have your living children before or after your losses (or some combo of the two)? I’m always curious when I hear about people who have had that many miscarriages. Mostly I’m curious because I wonder if all of this is hopeless and we should just give up and accept that I’m not capable of carrying a pregnancy or whether there is some glimmer of hope.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 20, 2019 18:44:40 GMT -5
Also I don’t feel like you’re a stalker at all. I am so touched that so many people were rooting for our baby. I’m only sorry that it feels like I let everyone down again by being unable to do this thing. I wish it didn’t have to keep ending like this.
Im so sorry you are faced with these choices but thought I’d add my MC experiences in just for reference. In short -I’m team D&C. My first MC was an at home miscarriage that occurred about 10 days after diagnosis. I had already been bleeding but the passing of the contents of pregnancy started when I was at work. It lasted 4 hours total and the hour drive from my office to home had me in tears from pain. My second miscarriage was a medically managed at home miscarriage. I waited a week then asked for drugs to speed things along. I felt my dr was pretty conservative in dosing (I think it was 400mg in the morning and 400 in the evening until contents passed). The third dose in (over 36 hrs) I was in the worst pain in my life (and I’ve broken a number of bones). I took left over Vicodin out of desperation and it didn’t touch the pain at all. I was puking couldn’t stand up and eventually ended up in the emergency room. Morphine was the only thing that touched the pain. It was at least another week before I would pass the contents of pregnancy. (So things dragged on for over 2 weeks). This time it occurred in the car before I could even get home. So these two experiences have solidified me as team D&C.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 20, 2019 20:01:17 GMT -5
Oh my god shoeless I’m so sorry. Those experiences sound so unbelievably traumatic. I’m having a hard enough time as it is, I can’t imagine adding that much physical and emotional trauma on top of it.
calmcosmo I’m so sorry for your losses and thank you for sharing. I’m definitely eager to get this pregnancy out of me. It honestly is so horrible to think that my dead baby is still inside me. I’m pretty sure I’ll do the D&C but if not it will be a medically managed miscarriage, or I suppose the possibility that stopping the insane amounts of progesterone will help clue my body in. I cant imagine having to go 8 weeks, that must have been so hard.
I hope you don’t mind my asking, but did you have your living children before or after your losses (or some combo of the two)? I’m always curious when I hear about people who have had that many miscarriages. Mostly I’m curious because I wonder if all of this is hopeless and we should just give up and accept that I’m not capable of carrying a pregnancy or whether there is some glimmer of hope.
I don’t mind sharing at all about my living children. I always hesitate though because I don’t want to imply anything by sharing. I hope it gives you hope but understand it can be painful too.
My history was like this:
First pregnancy: Missed Miscarriage discovered at 10 weeks, D&C ** (this was my complicated D&C and unfortunately caused some complications. Doctors think it scarred the openings to my Fallopian tubes and caused “secondary” infertility).
Second pregnancy: IVF twin pregnancy. We lost one baby at 12 weeks. Thankfully the other baby was born healthy and is my almost 10 year old daughter.
Third pregnancy: surprise! We were getting ready for an FET and found out were expecting. My 8 year old son is the result.
Fourth pregnancy: Missed miscarriage discovered at 10 weeks. D&C was easy.
Fifth pregnancy: Blighted Ovum. Miscarried naturally at “16 weeks” (8 weeks after discovery)
We decided to stop trying after the fourth miscarriage. H had a vasectomy. That said, if we hadn’t had children we would have kept trying. I know I am lucky that despite my journey of infertility and multiple losses that I have two kids.
No! Oh, friend, I'm so sorry. If you're looking for success stories after loss, I can provide. If you just want someone who says they understand, I can provide that too. It's not fair, doubly so when they can't pinpoint a cause. Feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk.
Tagging awick14, who also had RPL and a number of D&C's.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 21, 2019 5:59:17 GMT -5
I’m just so scared that this won’t ever work no matter how many times we try. We had seven embryos and nothing? Five transfers? It isn’t supposed to be like this at my age and with no indications of poor egg and embryo quality.
I’m so tempted to do another retrieval because hypothetically a new crop of eggs and a new lab and a new clinic and protocol could help, but maybe it’s just pointless at this stage. I’m so confused because while yes the data shows that multiple retrieval cycles yields higher success I also had as many embryos from our first IVF as many people would get over the course of 2 or 3 IVF cycles or more. Not a humble brag on the embryo front, obviously having so many has only led to failure and heartache, but it makes me wonder when we should be throwing in the towel.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 21, 2019 6:31:09 GMT -5
It would be helpful to hear from people who have had 3 or more consecutive losses prior to having any successful pregnancies at all.
Like if your first 3+ pregnancies all ended in dismal failure and yet you ended up with a kid I want to know about it.
The prognosis is quite a bit better for people who have had kids previously for whatever reason, so that is less relevant to me personally.
ETA: I hope I don't sound like a jerk, I just really need this thread not to become a bunch of people sharing about their successful pregnancies and kids if the situation is pretty different from mine.
You don't sound like a jerk and I hope I'm not causing more pain but when I went in for my fourth donor egg transfer this last time (two different batches of eggs from two different donors at that point) the doctor was surprised I was needing so many transfers but also said it wasn't that uncommon and that there was still hope. Hopefully, knowing that even younger eggs can take a more than a few tries will give you hope for yourself ((hugs))
We have a friend who had at least 3 losses. They figured out she had some sort of blood clotting issue (?) I think it was. They got her on medication and they now have four children. They had no children prior to the losses.
I have no clotting issues. I’ve had all the testing done.