I regret asking for success stories. I can’t do it.
I sincerely apologize. I did not mean to upset you at all, I misunderstood what you were looking for. I deleted mine. we’re all here for you and pulling for you. It’s truly not fair and I hope you get some answers.
I regret asking for success stories. I can’t do it.
I sincerely apologize. I did not mean to upset you at all, I misunderstood what you were looking for. I deleted mine. we’re all here for you and pulling for you. It’s truly not fair and I hope you get some answers.
It’s not your fault it’s mine. It just feels like everyone else in the world gets an explanation, gets a baby, gets some resolution. And then there’s me. Unexplained infertility, unexplained RPL *with* IVF (which is basically the main treatment for RPL) and if they can’t identify a cause, which they can’t, the chances that this will ever work out are slim to none. If there was a treatment I could do that could fix it or even help Id do that. It helps a lot of people. But you can’t treat what you can’t explain.
If it helps at all, my first IVF cycle we got 6 embryos, did 5 transfers and none resulted in a live birth. I have 2 losses from those FETs (my second FET was a m/mc at 8w4d, I had a d&c the next day) and my last FET was a chemical pregnancy (we transferred our last two). The rest did not work. I was 31 when we did that retrieval, and all of our genetic testing came back normal, so we didn't see any indication to do pgs testing on those embryos.
@@@
I switched clinics, did a second IVF cycle, again we got 6 embryos, but we did pgs testing on them. We ended up with 2 genetically normal embryos, one of which is our DS.
I honestly think that maybe our crop of embryos the first time around were not good. I 100% recommend pgs testing. I wish we had done it the first time around to save ourselves from all of the heartache of so many transfers and no success.
So, I guess I'm saying is that I was in a similar place as you, although not as many losses... We did a good number of transfers and were never successful. But we didn't want to give up on having a baby of our own quite yet, and went on to be successful with our second cycle.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 21, 2019 11:28:23 GMT -5
kellikans that is helpful! If we do another cycle we will absolutely do PGS testing. It is my biggest regret, but there was no way to know at the time that we would need it, as I had no risk factors. It just helps to know that sometimes for no reason people have a bust cycle. I’m sure it happens a fair amount, but since most people don’t have so many embryos from each cycle it gets confusing whether the net benefit is from more transfers, or from a new crop of embryos. I’m hoping it is the latter.
seeyalater52, are you still with your original clinic? I know you weren't super happy with your options in your area.
If we do another round we will switch to CCRM Boston, which is the closest we can get in-network to a clinic that believes in immune protocols. They by all accounts have an amazing lab and good success rates for people with unexplained RPL.
I regret asking for success stories. I can’t do it.
I’m sorry
No! I specifically asked you, and I appreciate that you were willing to share.
It is a hard balance because while I know having 4 miscarriages isn’t unheard of, it is much, much more unusual to have 4 consecutive MC with no living children and no abnormal test results, especially while doing IVF. I just feel so lonely and hopeless sometimes.
Seeyalater, I am so very, very sorry. I’ve had 4 MMC, and I know how much this sucks. A good friend of mine was in a very similar situation to yours, with trying for a first, and having the stomach to keep trying was so hard. 😥
We are all pulling for you and thinking of you! I’ve been through 3 D&Cs and one medicated MMC, and I think you’re going the right way to plan the D&C.
Love of my life baby boy born 11/11. One and done not by choice; 3 years of TTC yielded 4 MMC and 2 CPs, through 4 IUIs and 2 IVFs. Focusing on making the world a better place instead...and running.
Seeyalater, I am so very, very sorry. I’ve had 4 MMC, and I know how much this sucks. A good friend of mine was in a very similar situation to yours, with trying for a first, and having the stomach to keep trying was so hard. 😥
We are all pulling for you and thinking of you! I’ve been through 3 D&Cs and one medicated MMC, and I think you’re going the right way to plan the D&C.
Post by seeyalater52 on Jun 24, 2019 8:33:03 GMT -5
I had my confirmation scan for the loss this morning and there’s growth. Appropriate growth since my last scan, even. There is a fetal pole, and a heartbeat (slow at 90bpm) but it’s measuring 4-5 days behind where I should be, and it’s almost certainly not viable but they can’t say “never” so now I’m in a holding pattern and have to wait to do anything else until there is arrested growth or the hesrtbeat stops. This is absolute hell. My heart is broken and I just want it to end.
OMG, you are really being put through the ringer here. I am keeping my fingers crossed that little bean keeps growing. I swear, this type of uncertainty is almost worse than a loss. Lots of hugs and good thoughts!
OMG, you are really being put through the ringer here. I am keeping my fingers crossed that little bean keeps growing. I swear, this type of uncertainty is almost worse than a loss. Lots of hugs and good thoughts!
It’s so hard because on the one hand they keep saying unequivocally this is a loss, it will be a loss. But then in the next breath they also say that we can’t totally know for sure and even though it would make no sense medically in theory it could keep developing so stay on the meds.
omg, what a roller coaster. i'm sorry you are stuck in this uncertainty. many hugs and do whatever it takes to be kind to yourself to make it through until friday.
OMG, you are really being put through the ringer here. I am keeping my fingers crossed that little bean keeps growing. I swear, this type of uncertainty is almost worse than a loss. Lots of hugs and good thoughts!
It’s so hard because on the one hand they keep saying unequivocally this is a loss, it will be a loss. But then in the next breath they also say that we can’t totally know for sure and even though it would make no sense medically in theory it could keep developing so stay on the meds.
It’s the worst limbo ever.
Maybe it was a late implanter? I can’t imagine what you must be feeling. I am so sorry. 😔
It’s so hard because on the one hand they keep saying unequivocally this is a loss, it will be a loss. But then in the next breath they also say that we can’t totally know for sure and even though it would make no sense medically in theory it could keep developing so stay on the meds.
It’s the worst limbo ever.
Maybe it was a late implanter? I can’t imagine what you must be feeling. I am so sorry. 😔
She said that’s what she would think if it weren’t for the initial betas and scans. It showed all signs of growing right on schedule until it started to slow between the 5 1/2 week and 6 1/2 week ultrasound. If it had been very behind from the start it would be a lot more promising.
Post by lexisgrrl1980 on Jun 24, 2019 13:32:45 GMT -5
I've been thinking about you this last weekend. I can't believe all that you have been through, you are such a strong person. Keeping you in my thoughts.
Post by farfalla2011 on Jun 24, 2019 16:31:54 GMT -5
I pop in here from time to time for information, encouragement, camaraderie, etc although I haven't really ever posted. While I never did go down the IVF path, I did have all the testing done and on paper, there is no reason for the repeat losses and nothing wrong/diagnosable with me (H or exH). However, I had 5 losses with 2 D&Cs before my current pregnancy, my first one being 11 years ago. H & I were actively in conversations of when to just throw in the towel when we found out about this baby.
I'm so sorry you are living in limbo right now. It's the worst experience ever. It sounds so much like my 3rd loss, and it was the most devastating, torturous and frustrating thing I've ever been through.
There was no way after reading this post I could have left without at least commenting and sending you lots of virtual hugs because I know how isolating all this feels in real life. I also wish you a very quick moving week so hopefully you can get answers Friday and can move on.
I pop in here from time to time for information, encouragement, camaraderie, etc although I haven't really ever posted. While I never did go down the IVF path, I did have all the testing done and on paper, there is no reason for the repeat losses and nothing wrong/diagnosable with me (H or exH). However, I had 5 losses with 2 D&Cs before my current pregnancy, my first one being 11 years ago. H & I were actively in conversations of when to just throw in the towel when we found out about this baby.
I'm so sorry you are living in limbo right now. It's the worst experience ever. It sounds so much like my 3rd loss, and it was the most devastating, torturous and frustrating thing I've ever been through.
There was no way after reading this post I could have left without at least commenting and sending you lots of virtual hugs because I know how isolating all this feels in real life. I also wish you a very quick moving week so hopefully you can get answers Friday and can move on.
Thank you for sharing. It does help to know that at least some people come out of this hell on the other side. Not to play pain Olympics but when I think about all of this it feels so clear to me that we could have weathered so much more if not for the losses. The past year of loss after loss has taken such a toll on us and it’s hard to imagine being able to risk feeling this pain all over again for another chance. It is frustrating because even as kind as the doctors are I think it’s really hard to understand just how difficult it is unless you’re in the thick of things.