Oh, I’d suck at non-monogamy. And I’d probably see myself out of a threesome bc too much work. I just wanna sleep really. No shame or judgment, more power to you guys that can do it!
Same, same. I don't even really want a twosome TBH.
If Jason Momoa showed up in my bedroom I'd probably be like, fine you can lay next to me and watch Netflix but don't touch me or hog the blankets.
Feel sorry for my husband, y'all.
I met him over the weekend and I'm more convinced than ever that Lisa Bonnet has magical lady parts to have landed him. I am still surprised I didn't trip over my own feet when I talked to him.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
I would open up my marriage for Chris Evans, does that count?
According to rumors he just finished building a sex dungeon this year and likes to be dominated. In case you ever run into him, you now know your way in.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
I would open up my marriage for Chris Evans, does that count?
According to rumors he just finished building a sex dungeon this year and likes to be dominated. In case you ever run into him, you now know your way in.
Thanks for the help! I would hit that big time. Literally and figuratively.
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
My BFF’s H basically never has sex with her. She admitted to me recently that she’d really like to be in an open relationship so she could get sex outside of their marriage. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t go for it anyway, but mostly I think it would be a disaster because they already have a rocky relationship and bringing in external partners just seems like a way to deepen the divide.
On the flip side, I don’t know, I can kind of see this working well in a marriage where both partners are committed and happy. But more so for just straight sex than adding in actual relationships. Every so often I think about what it would be like to have sex with someone else. Not because I’m not in love with DH, but just to mix it up. I think it would be kind of fun to have “for the first time” sex again. He would never be comfortable with that though.
Also on a related note, I literally just got to the point this year where I am comfortable having period sex and we’ve been together 12 years. I’m glad it worked out for you, OP. It’s definitely not as big a deal as I made it out to be (for myself).
My BFF’s H basically never has sex with her. She admitted to me recently that she’d really like to be in an open relationship so she could get sex outside of their marriage. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t go for it anyway, but mostly I think it would be a disaster because they already have a rocky relationship and bringing in external partners just seems like a way to deepen the divide.
).
Was it like this before they got married? How is this a sustainable marriage for her? And yeah, I agree with you, opening that marriage up is just a terrible idea.
Post by mccallister84 on Aug 25, 2019 11:40:31 GMT -5
I don’t know. In theory I can see the appeal of some random one night stands. Sometimes I definitely miss the excitement of the beginning of the relationship. But in actuality I wouldn’t be okay with H sleeping with someone else....
abba, I guess those I have similar questions... like if you're flirting/texting/dating someone else, are you really putting that much attention and love into your marriage anymore? New is always easier and more exciting, so it seems like if you're not just doing a threesome or hooking up and then walking away, but actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend outside your marriage, aren't you just taking away from your marriage and the attention and focus you can put on that?
I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t think that’s a fair statement. Sure, everyone knows about that “one couple” that had an open marriage and things went down in flames. But I guarantee that there are plenty of successful open marriages out there. People just don’t talk about it because of the judgement they’ll face. A lot of couples say that opening their marriage actually strengthened their relationship because they had to learn how to communicate well with each other. I’ve asked a few people about the attention aspect of it and they said that they now value the time with their partner more than they used to. So instead of sitting on different ends of the couch, mindlessly watching tv, they spend more time actively hanging out. Sure they go on dates with other people and text other people, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ignoring their spouse. You probably have friends that you talk to and hang out with—does that mean that you neglect your spouse? Absolutely not.
Also, the most work goes into the beginning (assuming that you aren’t simply hooking up with a stranger that you literally just met). You have to get to know them, find a connection, etc. THAT part takes a lot of time and energy. If you’re trying to have a safe one night stand/threesome with someone that you’ve vetted, you’re constantly in that cycle of trying to locate and then woo someone. It would be way easier to just have one steady bf/gf because things get easier from there. Before anyone disagrees, I just want you to think about the time/effort that went into preparing for your first date with your husband vs the 300th date.
I’m not trying to convince anyone to try having an open marriage. I just want you guys to realize that you’re saying some things that could be fairly hurtful/offensive to someone in that lifestyle.
I have to agree with this. We talked about some things a few years ago and the research and trying to find what we were looking for was so much work, it became almost all consuming and I had to shut it down. Before that happened, though, just the talking about it all really amped up our sex life. It's a shame the other stuff turned it all into a turn off for me
My BFF’s H basically never has sex with her. She admitted to me recently that she’d really like to be in an open relationship so she could get sex outside of their marriage. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t go for it anyway, but mostly I think it would be a disaster because they already have a rocky relationship and bringing in external partners just seems like a way to deepen the divide.
).
Was it like this before they got married? How is this a sustainable marriage for her? And yeah, I agree with you, opening that marriage up is just a terrible idea.
I think he put out more before they got married, but still not as much as she’d like. They got accidentally pregnant, other wise I don’t think they would have gotten married. Now they have two kids and I think she feels like life is too intertwined with the kids to leave until they are grown. It’s not a sustainable marriage at all. But she can’t financially make it work without him (or at least, she isn’t really willing to make it work at this point). Basically, she’s unhappy for multiple reasons, sex being just one of them, but isn’t ready to move on.
abba, I guess those I have similar questions... like if you're flirting/texting/dating someone else, are you really putting that much attention and love into your marriage anymore? New is always easier and more exciting, so it seems like if you're not just doing a threesome or hooking up and then walking away, but actually have a boyfriend or girlfriend outside your marriage, aren't you just taking away from your marriage and the attention and focus you can put on that?
I understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t think that’s a fair statement. Sure, everyone knows about that “one couple” that had an open marriage and things went down in flames. But I guarantee that there are plenty of successful open marriages out there. People just don’t talk about it because of the judgement they’ll face. A lot of couples say that opening their marriage actually strengthened their relationship because they had to learn how to communicate well with each other. I’ve asked a few people about the attention aspect of it and they said that they now value the time with their partner more than they used to. So instead of sitting on different ends of the couch, mindlessly watching tv, they spend more time actively hanging out. Sure they go on dates with other people and text other people, but that doesn’t mean that they’re ignoring their spouse. You probably have friends that you talk to and hang out with—does that mean that you neglect your spouse? Absolutely not.
Also, the most work goes into the beginning (assuming that you aren’t simply hooking up with a stranger that you literally just met). You have to get to know them, find a connection, etc. THAT part takes a lot of time and energy. If you’re trying to have a safe one night stand/threesome with someone that you’ve vetted, you’re constantly in that cycle of trying to locate and then woo someone. It would be way easier to just have one steady bf/gf because things get easier from there. Before anyone disagrees, I just want you to think about the time/effort that went into preparing for your first date with your husband vs the 300th date.
I’m not trying to convince anyone to try having an open marriage. I just want you guys to realize that you’re saying some things that could be fairly hurtful/offensive to someone in that lifestyle.
You also didn’t quote my second part where I justify why I asked it like this. I am not judging - especially after the shitshow ending to my marriage 6 months ago based on lack of communication (that I didn’t even know about), so my inquisitiveness is way more about the communication and how much you tell when that I am curious about. It’s fascinating - especially since I have been having new relationships and sex after 22+ yrs with one person.
My BFF’s H basically never has sex with her. She admitted to me recently that she’d really like to be in an open relationship so she could get sex outside of their marriage. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t go for it anyway, but mostly I think it would be a disaster because they already have a rocky relationship and bringing in external partners just seems like a way to deepen the divide.
On the flip side, I don’t know, I can kind of see this working well in a marriage where both partners are committed and happy. But more so for just straight sex than adding in actual relationships. Every so often I think about what it would be like to have sex with someone else. Not because I’m not in love with DH, but just to mix it up. I think it would be kind of fun to have “for the first time” sex again. He would never be comfortable with that though.
Also on a related note, I literally just got to the point this year where I am comfortable having period sex and we’ve been together 12 years. I’m glad it worked out for you, OP. It’s definitely not as big a deal as I made it out to be (for myself).
My BFF is in the same situation...her H won't have sex with her unless they're TTC. They have 2 children and don't plan on having more. They are great co-parents and friends but there's no sexual activity there. She (with his knowledge) has a boyfriend. She had one boyfriend for about 5 years and now has a different one, for the last 18 months or so. He does not have nor want a girlfriend. Maybe he wants a boyfriend. I wonder if she's asked him that.
My BFF’s H basically never has sex with her. She admitted to me recently that she’d really like to be in an open relationship so she could get sex outside of their marriage. I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t go for it anyway, but mostly I think it would be a disaster because they already have a rocky relationship and bringing in external partners just seems like a way to deepen the divide.
On the flip side, I don’t know, I can kind of see this working well in a marriage where both partners are committed and happy. But more so for just straight sex than adding in actual relationships. Every so often I think about what it would be like to have sex with someone else. Not because I’m not in love with DH, but just to mix it up. I think it would be kind of fun to have “for the first time” sex again. He would never be comfortable with that though.
Also on a related note, I literally just got to the point this year where I am comfortable having period sex and we’ve been together 12 years. I’m glad it worked out for you, OP. It’s definitely not as big a deal as I made it out to be (for myself).
My BFF is in the same situation...her H won't have sex with her unless they're TTC. They have 2 children and don't plan on having more. They are great co-parents and friends but there's no sexual activity there. She (with his knowledge) has a boyfriend. She had one boyfriend for about 5 years and now has a different one, for the last 18 months or so. He does not have nor want a girlfriend. Maybe he wants a boyfriend. I wonder if she's asked him that.