My 3y3m DS fills his overnite and sposie nightly (but remains dry on the outside now, yay). He's PTed during the day and his pedi said he wouldn't worry about nighttime training until DS was at least 10. I told my H if he wanted to take on getting DS to the bathroom for a dream pee at 10/11pm he was free to do so but I want no part of that.
My oldest (DD1) wet the bed regularly until she was 8.5. She is a super heavy sleeper. She would get upset by it sometimes and we would try things (limiting liquids, waking up, etc) but it really just took time. I didn't want to wake her up a lot bc I didn't want her to think she was fine and then go to a sleepover and not have someone wake her and then she has a problem and is embarrassed.
My second (DD2) will stay dry for like 2 weeks and then have like 4 nights with accidents in a row.
Almost always the kids will grow out of it. It just takes time.
Post by sporklemotion on Aug 22, 2019 15:00:31 GMT -5
How concerned are you about accidents? DD2 started resisting pull ups a couple of months before 4, but she was waking up wet every morning so I was not planning to night train her. I pushed her off to her 4th birthday, hoping she’d forget, but of course she didn’t. We let her try to sleep without a pull up, and she was fine. She had been peeing right when she woke up because she could, but she was able to adjust quickly. She has been night trained for 3+ months. This won’t work for most kids, because it really is developmental, but I wanted to throw it out there.
How concerned are you about accidents? DD2 started resisting pull ups a couple of months before 4, but she was waking up wet every morning so I was not planning to night train her. I pushed her off to her 4th birthday, hoping she’d forget, but of course she didn’t. We let her try to sleep without a pull up, and she was fine. She had been peeing right when she woke up because she could, but she was able to adjust quickly. She has been night trained for 3+ months. This won’t work for most kids, because it really is developmental, but I wanted to throw it out there.
This was essentially E1. He started resisting the pullup this past spring (right when E2 was born, OF COURSE). DH took the lead on night training since I was busy with the newborn. He limited liquids a little bit, forced the pee before bed, had E1 sleep on towels for a while. And E1 did have a few accidents. But the past... 2 months or so, accidents are extremely rare.
It’s physiological so there’s really nothing you can do to speed it up. Some kids go all night at 2 and others not until 8 (still totally normal) and most kids in between there.
This! My daughter is 3.5, usually wakes up wet (and sometimes even leaks through). I know that people do dream pees, etc., but that feels more like training me than her, you know? I figure that when she’s ready, she’ll do it. We have talked to her about getting up to pee in the night, but so far she sleeps through. Seeing as she was the worst sleeper ever until about six months ago, I’m reticent to try deliberately waking her up.
Another one whose 5.5 year old still wears pull-ups at night and wakes up soaking wet. He sleeps really heavily and there’s a strong history of bed wetting in H’s family so I’m not concerned.
If you don't try you have no way of knowing if they're physiologically ready. My son never once woke up dry, he wet so much we had to use diaper doublers every night, and he easily potty trained. We did the 3 day method and had success. There were a few nights of not waking up in time and then he got it just like during the day. We never limited liquids before bed. It isn't a sign of a problem if a 3 year old can't do it, but there's no reason to use pullups for years waiting for them to wake up dry before trying.
Our 3.5 year old DD has been dry at night for months now, but we're just now switching to undies at night. I plan to have a small box of pull ups ready in case she's ever sick or goes through a regression. I was willing to have her wear them for awhile yet, but like a pp mentioned above, I see no point in wasting money on them if she's dry at night.
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
I guess this is where I’m at. If she’s not physiologically ready that’s fine, but is there a way to check?
How often did your kid have accidents once you night trained?
Once they were day trained I just powered through, no looking back attitude. They definitely had accidents and at one point I remember layering my middle child’s sheets 3 layers for a little while. So she must have maxed out at 2 accidents a night at some point for me to have done that. I also have to say that I don’t think it’s typical to wear pull ups for as long as people are saying here. I’ve taken 30+ girls my daughters ages (6-12) camping (Girl Scouts) and zero have ever used pull ups at night (I wouldn’t bat an eye if they did, honestly thinking about it I’m surprised no one has because I can see it happening with a kid here and there for physiological reasons).
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
I guess this is where I’m at. If she’s not physiologically ready that’s fine, but is there a way to check?
How often did your kid have accidents once you night trained?
DS1 went probably 6 months in pull ups with the very occasional overnight accident. We were using the same pull-up 2-3 nights in a row if he kept it dry, which cut back a ton on how many we were using. Once we had gotten to the point where I couldn't remember when he had last had an accident, I pulled the trigger on underwear. He's had 1 or maybe 2 accidents in the several months that he's been sleeping in underwear.
I didn't night train him. I put him in pull-ups and when he stopped wetting at night, we transitioned to underwear. All throughout, we had lots of conversations about how the pull ups are only there as back up and that if he wakes up and needs to go, he needs to get up and use the toilet.
I realize my kid is not all kids and that some kids will intentionally pee in a pull up to avoid getting up, but mine doesn't. And I am very sensitive about this topic because both my sister and I wet the bed until we were 8. There was nothing to be done about it. Neither of us could do anything about it until our bodies were ready.
I guess this is where I’m at. If she’s not physiologically ready that’s fine, but is there a way to check?
How often did your kid have accidents once you night trained?
Once they were day trained I just powered through, no looking back attitude. They definitely had accidents and at one point I remember layering my middle child’s sheets 3 layers for a little while. So she must have maxed out at 2 accidents a night at some point for me to have done that. I also have to say that I don’t think it’s typical to wear pull ups for as long as people are saying here. I’ve taken 30+ girls my daughters ages (6-12) camping (Girl Scouts) and zero have ever used pull ups at night (I wouldn’t bat an eye if they did, honestly thinking about it I’m surprised no one has because I can see it happening with a kid here and there for physiological reasons).
Unless you are watching 8-12 year old girls get into their underwear at night, I'd be really surprised if this is true. I absolutely wore pull ups to sleepovers and I did damn near everything possible to make sure nobody knew about it. Down to putting them on under the sheets literally right before going to sleep and then hiding them in the trash.
I'm not saying it's super common. But I can tell you that no amount of "powering through" would have fixed this for my mom. She would have been up literally every single night for years changing sheets if she had done that with me and my sister. Trust me. She did everything. Bedwetting alarms, dream pees, limiting water, alllll of it.
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
I guess this is where I’m at. If she’s not physiologically ready that’s fine, but is there a way to check?
How often did your kid have accidents once you night trained?
You can check by just doing underwear for a few nights. We did with my son when he PTd at 3, he peed the bed every nap and night so we switched to pull ups. He started waking up dry in his pull ups right at 4 after doing nothing to encourage it. My daughter wore pull ups a few months and we took them away when she went down to 1 accident a month right before 4. Wetting their sheets/pajamas always made my kids really upset so I don't get rid of pull ups before they're ready (which for me is 1-2 accidents a month max).
Once they were day trained I just powered through, no looking back attitude. They definitely had accidents and at one point I remember layering my middle child’s sheets 3 layers for a little while. So she must have maxed out at 2 accidents a night at some point for me to have done that. I also have to say that I don’t think it’s typical to wear pull ups for as long as people are saying here. I’ve taken 30+ girls my daughters ages (6-12) camping (Girl Scouts) and zero have ever used pull ups at night (I wouldn’t bat an eye if they did, honestly thinking about it I’m surprised no one has because I can see it happening with a kid here and there for physiological reasons).
Unless you are watching 8-12 year old girls get into their underwear at night, I'd be really surprised if this is true. I absolutely wore pull ups to sleepovers and I did damn near everything possible to make sure nobody knew about it. Down to putting them on under the sheets literally right before going to sleep and then hiding them in the trash.
I'm not saying it's super common. But I can tell you that no amount of "powering through" would have fixed this for my mom. She would have been up literally every single night for years changing sheets if she had done that with me and my sister. Trust me. She did everything. Bedwetting alarms, dream pees, limiting water, alllll of it.
I get it, I do. But she’s asking how to tell if physiologically ready and that’s really difficult if a kid has the crutch of a pull up. Personally my kids accidents lessened over time till they stopped, just like during the day. If you go cold turkey during day and not at night, doesn’t make sense. If a kids accidents didn’t lessen over time I think that'd be the indication that they’re not physically ready, just like day training. And yes I’d know about pull-ups at camp and sleepovers because I’m friends with every mom whose kid I’ve taken and I know without a doubt they’d tell me AND we empty all trash cans at the end.
I really wish people would internalize that this is developmental and not something you can train. This is well within the range of normal!
THIS. Not only to your point below (my now 14 year old niece was you and your sister), but I get so much grief that my 2y9m yr old son is still in diapers. The kid isn't ready. He's terrified of the potty and lies about pooping his diaper 100% of the time. I would LOVE to stop buying diapers (and adding more diapers to landfills), but I'm not going to push him when he's so resistant and clearly not there yet.
The whole title of "3 year old still not night trained" surprised me and made me feel defensive. She's 3. It's okay if she's not ready.
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
I also have 3 kids and we did the dream pee with my older two kids and it worked and they night trained not too long after day time training (and for the record we mainly used cloth diapers from 15 months for the oldest and from birth for the second and third). I figured I’d just do the dream pee thing again with my youngest... except it didn’t work. I’d take him, he’d pee, and then he’d wet the bed anyway. I actually even resorted to trying two dream pees (one when I went to bed and then again at like 12-2, still didn’t work as he still had accidents. And it wasn’t for lack of want by him to be out of pull ups (we used disposables at night and used pull ups for bed after potty training). I would let him try weeks at a time of no pull up and it resulted in broken sleep for both of us because he had accidents every single night. I personally couldn’t have done that nor could he have for as long as it took for his body to be ready (he was over 7, and he day trained at 23 months so it would have been over 5 years).
Also, the kids that I have known that still wet the bed at those ages of your Girl Scouts don’t announce it, they either quietly deal with their own goodnites/pull up or they take the medicine that keeps them from wetting the bed that one night to avoid having to deal with the anxiety of it or they avoid sleepovers/camps/overnight situations altogether. I don’t think it’s weird that you haven’t seen it in those Girl Scouts for those reasons. I bet there’s been a couple that wet the bed and either didn’t participate or took the medicine for it or just delay with their own pull up without drawing attention to it.
I know my kid isn't physiologically ready because he has forgotten to put a pull up many times over the years and wakes up soaked in the morning. He never wakes up. I don't have some secret love of killing the Earth and spending money on goodnights. He cannot be "trained" to wake up or produce less urine at night, and he isn't throwing away dry pull ups secretly or peeing in them in the morning for fun. He WANTS to be able to go without something overnight, but he cannot.
There are always going to be anecdotes about kids who used the pull ups because they could, so sure, go ahead and look into it.... No harm in trying for a few nights other than laundry.
But, stop using the term "training" for staying dry overnight. The brain is ready or it isn't.
I can drink any amount of fluid I want before I go to bed. I don't have to set an alarm to pee at a certain time in the middle of the night. I wake up if I need to go because my brain/bladder have made the connection. That is what it is to be ready overnight and it happens at different times for different kids no matter what the parent does.
My older son started waking up dry in his pull up for a week around 3, I took it away, and I didn't look back. My middle son still needs one. Both normal...
I wouldn't go nuts trying to make this happen, but I did both my kids night and day trained at the same time. I have no idea if they were dry every night before this. I figured I would give it a try and see if they could do it. They had a few small accidents, but worked out for the most part. Have you actually tried underwear at night?
If you want to try it, go for it. Try some plastic sheet holders to protect your mattress. Take them to the bathroom as soon as they wake up.
Another option might be training underwear which are thicker than regular underwear.
DD PT'd herself at right around 2 for both #1 and #2 but couldn't go overnight until close to 4. Even waking her up to take her to the bathroom didn't work because she is a heavy sleeper. I wasn't willing to cut off liquids so we gave up after a few days and tried again every few months until she was ready. Even after that she still had accidents (1-2x a month or so) until almost 5.
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
I’m glad that worked for your family. It truly doesn’t work for all families. If I had interrupted my kids (especially the middle one) sleep they would have been awake and crying and miserable. Night training isn’t a thing, it’s a physiological milestone that you can’t speed up any more than you can speed crawling or walking. And doing extra daily loads or laundry isn’t necessarily better than a single pull up each day from an environmental perspective.
My kids were all in underwear overnight before or at 3, so I don’t even have skin in this game. But my SIL tried alarms (they were useless since by the time they went off the floodgate had already opened) and dream pees and talking to the doctor (and she herself is a pediatrician) and her oldest simply wasn’t ready until 8. She herself knows that it’s not uncommon at all, and counsels her parents that there’s no training involved, that the neural pathway needs to develop, and that happens on its own.
I would try it and see how it goes, just expect that you may need to go back to pull ups at night if she’s not ready. Our anecdote, my son was consistently dry overnight so we switched to undies. He was dealing with constipation causing night accidents and switched back to goodnights. Now that his constipation seems better, and his pull ups were either dry or very warm (meaning he had just peed in the them), so we switched back to undies 2 nights ago. Night one he had an accident after he woke up the in the am. Last night he got up at at 12:30 on his own, went to the bathroom, and got back in bed. I didn’t even know he got up until I viewed the camera history. So I’m hopeful that will work for him, but if he starts having a lot of accidents we will just go back. The best way for me to tell if he was going overnight vs. wetting in the pull up once he woke up was how warm it was and how much he peed in the potty after getting out of bed.
So besides the obvious task of not giving them anything to drink after like 6 or 7 pm, I always do a "dream pee" with my kids. So they go before they go to bed at like 8 PM and then I take them when I go to bed at like 10 or 11 PM. They basically sleep through the whole thing. Sometimes they pee right away, sometimes it takes a minute or two but I always wait until they pee and then put them right back to bed.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Aug 23, 2019 11:55:47 GMT -5
Some kids just aren't dry until well into childhood. Their brains don't get the "wake up!" message from the bladder. Nothing can be done about it but time. Runs in my family. Some don't grow out of it until puberty
This thread is so odd, people are so concerned about the environment and plastics and reusable lunch containers but are totally ok with diapers for 9 years. I think it’s 500 years for a diaper to decompose 😕 Once my kids were day trained I did dream pee, I carried them to toilet and back to bed to minimize waking them. Never once (3kids) were they not back asleep immediately and they sleep through the night perfectly now, so no lasting ill effects. I also layered sheets and mattress pads so when they did have accidents it was fast to pull off wet sheets and back to bed. It seems that just like day time training, pull ups become a crutch for most people.
Well bless your freaking heart.
Her kid's behavior is actually neurologically appropriate for their age. As are many kids who are not dry at night until well into childhood. But thanks for implying those of us who either had this issue or have kids with this issue are somehow not good enough parents and environmentalists because diapers.
I really wish people would internalize that this is developmental and not something you can train. This is well within the range of normal!
THIS. Not only to your point below (my now 14 year old niece was you and your sister), but I get so much grief that my 2y9m yr old son is still in diapers. The kid isn't ready. He's terrified of the potty and lies about pooping his diaper 100% of the time. I would LOVE to stop buying diapers (and adding more diapers to landfills), but I'm not going to push him when he's so resistant and clearly not there yet.
The whole title of "3 year old still not night trained" surprised me and made me feel defensive. She's 3. It's okay if she's not ready.
If it makes you feel any better, my almost 3.5 year old is still terrified of using a potty anywhere but in her own house. And she will happily pee herself rather than use a public bathroom. I think it's something about the lights and the noise. Her pedi isn't concerned. I'm hoping that starting preschool will help.
THIS. Not only to your point below (my now 14 year old niece was you and your sister), but I get so much grief that my 2y9m yr old son is still in diapers. The kid isn't ready. He's terrified of the potty and lies about pooping his diaper 100% of the time. I would LOVE to stop buying diapers (and adding more diapers to landfills), but I'm not going to push him when he's so resistant and clearly not there yet.
The whole title of "3 year old still not night trained" surprised me and made me feel defensive. She's 3. It's okay if she's not ready.
If it makes you feel any better, my almost 3.5 year old is still terrified of using a potty anywhere but in her own house. And she will happily pee herself rather than use a public bathroom. I think it's something about the lights and the noise. Her pedi isn't concerned. I'm hoping that starting preschool will help.
My DD is also terrified of public bathrooms because she hates the noise of hand dryers and automatic flushing toilets. We have a travel potty for emergencies, one of us scopes out the bathroom every time we go somewhere new, and she wears noise cancelling headphones in any bathroom she finds scary. She's been potty trained for over a year and only JUST started using public washrooms (with the above conditions) consistently. Solidarity.
If you don't try you have no way of knowing if they're physiologically ready. My son never once woke up dry, he wet so much we had to use diaper doublers every night, and he easily potty trained. We did the 3 day method and had success. There were a few nights of not waking up in time and then he got it just like during the day. We never limited liquids before bed. It isn't a sign of a problem if a 3 year old can't do it, but there's no reason to use pullups for years waiting for them to wake up dry before trying.
Can you explain in more detail? You put him down in underwear for a few nights and he stopped having accidents after a few days?
Yes. With the method we did you just stop using diapers and make a game out of keeping your underwear dry.
loira you are a genius to use noise canceling headphones! I tried the post it trick to keep the automatic flusher from going off but the headphones are a great idea. Thank you!