Christmas or other expensive holidays

[waverly]

We are starting a Christmas fund this year which will be the first year.  However, it will be funded by a bonus which we won't get until mind November.

We have also been on a spending freeze just of unnecessary shopping the last 2 months, and honestly it feels so so good.

However, I do like to get my Christmas presents early and particularly this year because we are on vacation during Christmas which is not the norm.  Also, some of our Christmas presents could be our vacation or stuff to do on vacation.  But my kids don't entirely understand the whole experience versus gift thing.  And I might want to give them some gifts before we leave.  Some gifts could be for the vacation too like a new swimsuit...

I also have way too many people to buy for, and try to whittle this down every year, but it's hard because my family wants everyone to buy for everyone and so does DH's family.  All other families I know draw 1 name and buy for their parents, so it's a lot of work.  Not necessarily a ton of money because I can do token gifts. I no longer buy for teachers which helps though.

So my questions are:

1. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

2. Spending wise is it better to start early, or continue our spending freeze which feels so good? I am thinking hold off, but hate to shop last minute and feel disorganized.  My time management is warring with my money management. 

3. How do you factor in extra money if it doesn't come until way late in the year?

4. What is your typical Christmas budget?

5. Feel free to add other stuff that I didn't think of

6. What kind of excursions or vacation stuff have you done as a present?  Kids are 9 and 7 at that time.

[maloney]

I start shopping usually around the end of October. We really only buy for the kids/our parents.

If you find stuff on sale, I would buy earlier, especially if you know for sure that the extra money is coming in. Just replace the money you spend/pay off card immediately

We put everything on a credit card between October and December. I try to only buy things we can pay off within that pay period. I will spread purchases out. If we couldn't afford to pay the balance, but say knew an extra check was coming in early 2020, we would just carry the balance and pay it off when the extra money comes in.

We really try and spend as little as possible. Less than 1000 when all is said and done.

[waverly]

I usually do the end of October as well. And I think that will give us more time to get our paychecks in October. I feel like if I break the spending freeze then DH might with a vengeance.

We are paying cash. I typically budget 1000 but for like 25 people but then DH goes over it and doesn't adhere to a budget. We are trying to change that this year, so I am trying to figure out how much money to move over to the Christmas account. I feel like 1500 should be enough and if there is left over it could go to our vacation.

[farmvillelover]

I think buying as you see good gifts is a nice idea to take the pressure off.

One major thing I do and I've increased since last year is send a monthly amount to a Capital One sub savings account JUST for holiday spending.  Basically it will more than cover gifts (family, teachers, service people etc) and air travel for the 4 of us. 

My kids end up getting a bunch of stuff they need for Christmas (socks, underwear, shoes, some clothes etc) so I start shopping once the sales start ramping up.

[maloney]

waverly Who are the 25 people you are buying for?? That sounds like an insane amount of people. I would really consider trying to stop the madness

[waverly]

farmvillelover, yeah that is what we are doing this year, and we've never done it before, so I don't know how much to send over. Our airline tickets were free with Southwest points, so it would only be gifts.

We also started up a fund for when we are vacation for excursions, and I am not sure how much to budget for that too. I might just have to price each excursion out though for that.... And include groceries and meals out.

[maloney]

farmvillelover Can I ask how much you actually save a month for holidays? We also started doing this, but it's only like 50 bucks a month, so really not that much is in that account.

[waverly]

maloney , I've tried so hard, and I did get it down. If I really wanted it could have been 40. I've eliminated teachers now that the kids are in public school, and my sister and BIL. And I used to have grandparents on the list, but they have passed away. I also stopped buying for my boss. I think I got it down to 11. ETA 12, I forgot their child.  

Mom, MIL, FIL, SIL + Spouse, 2 Nephews, DH, 2 kids, Uncle

[hocus2]

We only do the kids and some office exchanges (so 3 small gifts) and I guess I shop around early November. The kids get books, PJs and 1 larger toy of their choosing usually.

[waverly]

hocus2, this is my dream! I'll ask DH if he maybe just want to do our trip as stuff for each other. Also DH wants the kids to buy for immediate family, so I have to take them shopping for that.

Anyway, please post budget numbers if you all can.

[hocus2]

Oct 3, 2019 15:55:39 GMT -5 waverly said:

hocus2 , this is my dream! I'll ask DH if he maybe just want to do our trip as stuff for each other. Also DH wants the kids to buy for immediate family, so I have to take them shopping for that.

 
Well this year I guess I'll spend $100 to $150 on each kid. The office gifts are usually $75 total because they have $25 cap for the exchange. 

I probably will get something small for DH.

[farfalla2011]

We struggle similarly with Christmas. I try to budget for Christmas and then at the last minute H thinks he needs go buy for every single person in his family which is frustrating. I'm hoping this year with a new baby and life simply being different we'll be able to get on the same page again.

Right now, we have a budget of 2k for Christmas that I hope we can stick to this year. He also seems to like to buy ridiculously expensive gifts for his 2 older kids as well that doesn't help.

[macmars45]

1. I start shopping in late Oct. I try to be done by the first week of Dec. H's birthday is the beginning of Dec. I try to be done by that date. I buy for H, DS, 5 nieces & nephews, 4 adult siblings/parents (adults draw names, my extended family is 17 people). When DS was born I put H in charge of his parents, sister & 2 nieces. None of them get presents anymore. I'm already buying for 11 people so it's not my problem anymore which is super freeing.

2. Start early. Leaving things to the last minute stresses me out.

3. pay off credit cards in full & replace money upon receiving it.

4. Whatever we've saved up. I can't recall the specific amount but we set aside a set amount every month all year and that's it. We budget for each person.

5.

6. N/A. I have a 3.5 year old. I'm toying with the idea of a membership a museum or something similar as an idea for my family for my DS.

[wanderingback]

Oct 3, 2019 15:55:39 GMT -5 waverly said:

hocus2 , this is my dream! I'll ask DH if he maybe just want to do our trip as stuff for each other. Also DH wants the kids to buy for immediate family, so I have to take them shopping for that.

Anyway, please post budget numbers if you all can.

If it really is your dream, then you really can make it happen.
I've been dating my partner for 5 years and we don't celebrate christmas with gifts. However, my family still does (my parents are divorced) and about 10 years ago I decided that I had enough of the consumerism of christmas. Therefore, I buy nobody any gifts. So far my friends and family haven't abandoned me and I still enjoy the day eating good food and spending time with people I care about. Maybe they talk about me behind my back? I doubt it, but if they do, then oh well.

2 of my most memorable christmases that come to mind are 1) doing a walking safari in botswana with friends and 2) taking the subway from my apartment in nyc to chinatown to buy a whole duck and other food to prepare dinner at home. Neither of those involved gifts.

If your dream is to not get gifts for dozens of people, then don't. 

[mich1]

I recently had lunch with an old friend. She moved away not long after she had her kids.....and kids have now graduated college,

She told me that when the kids were toddlers, Christmas buying was getting out of hand. So the6 decided to vacation during the holidays and make that vacation their Christmas gift to everyone. Until her daughters started being able to pack for themselves, no one knew where they were going except her. When they got older, they got a hint as to whether to pack for beach or mountains.....ir in between.

DH and I do similarly rather than gift more stuff we don’t need. Experiences only.

[cabbagecabbage]

I bought our family pajamas in August so I guess I start in August. We do a small Christmas and I love choosing a few special gifts for my kids. My mom is pretty generous and usually asks me to spend $100 or $150 per kid on Amazon with her login. Those gifts are from Grandma but thry nake Christmas seem bountiful because I get one requested toy and a bunch of little useful and fun things.

We spend maybe 500 on Christmas. Over half of that is gifts for our 6 nieces and nephew. We don't buy our parents anything but a photo calender and we just give each other stockings. I save cash throughout the year and that's Christmas.

My biggest challenge is not buying tickets to every fun activity. We usually do one special thing like the local Nutcracker and we also visit Santa and then get lunch as a family. I could go all out on themed brunches and kids shows if I had the budget.

[awkwardpenguin]

I save $100/month from Jan to October, and that’s for both our Christmas gifts and activities and holiday bonuses for daycare staff and our cleaning people.

Roughly, it breaks down like this:
$400 - holiday bonuses and teacher gifts
$200 - gifts for the kids (2 yo and 4 yo)
$150 - gifts for each other
$100 - gifts for our parents
$50 - gifts for niece and nephew
$50 - activities
$50 - Christmas cards and miscellaneous

This is with us being pretty restrained with gift giving. I’ve also switched to a PDF card designed by someone on Etsy to save on cards. I’m considering talking to DW about doing only $25-$30 gifts for each other, because we really have enough

I usually pick out some gift ideas in October and set price alerts on camelcamelcamel. Then buy them whenever I can get a good price. Having the money saved lets me buy on the early side without any stress.

We’re non-religious but we try to keep the focus of the holiday on family time and traditions. I also like the challenge of coming up with gifts the kids will like on a budget.

[sadlebred]

1. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually November. I used to shop much earlier when I had to buy for my family, ex-H's family including nieces, BIL/SIL, parents, etc. Now I only have to buy gifts for my parents, a couple of friends (token gifts), and a gift exchange. I buy mom's present on Amazon around Black Friday/early Dec. for free shipping. My dad usually wants something from Swiss Colony/Hickory Farms, so that eats (bad pun!) up a lot of the budget for my parents. I keep an eye on free shipping and coupons & order it before Dec. 10, but that stuff is still way overpriced.

2. Spending wise is it better to start early, or continue our spending freeze which feels so good? I'd hold it til the end of Oct.

3. NA

4. What is your typical Christmas budget?
Photos cards + postage $50. I still love sending out cards and exchange some with friends.
Parents gifts: $125
Friends: $35
Gift Exchange: $25
House Decor: $35 (2-3 small pointsettas and a live wreath)
Misc. $25

I cash flow all of it since it isn't that much.

[farmvillelover]

Oct 3, 2019 15:49:05 GMT -5 maloney said:

farmvillelover Can I ask how much you actually save a month for holidays? We also started doing this, but it's only like 50 bucks a month, so really not that much is in that account.

Quite a bit since our list is long. 20+ nieces and nephews, teachers and daycare teachers, gardeners, housecleaners, extracurricular teachers, my secretary and associate, receptionists, secret santas, angel tree gifts, etc. - aside from family.  Not to mention all the December dining out.  

I started a summer camp monthly amount too bc damn, camps are $$$.

[waverly]

Yeah I was thinking about summer camps. They used to be cheaper than daycare but now we are just paying for aftercare which is $165 a week then a $450 a week bill for camp is a lot higher. Not to mention we did one week of sleep away camp which was $600 for just 1 kid.. 2nd kid wants to go- I’m still debating if she is old enough. Grandparents took her that week which offset the cost but $1200 for one week of sleep away camp is a lot especially since despite her enthusiasm and willingness I’m not sure she’s ready age wise.

[waverly]

Thank you everyone. I'm going to re-read this thread to come up with a budget and talk to DH about it. I am re-thinking the $1500 and might bring it down to $1200, that would be $100 pp person and the kids generally get more and the adults/ token gifts typically get less. And I think we could gift an excursion to each other on our vacation, so I will talk to DH about that.

[madisen]

While this thread started as Christmas shopping related, it really highlights why I have been loving YNAB for budgeting.

I first learned about it either on this board or CEP and after a false start because I wasn't used to the concept of assigning 'jobs' to the $s I have available, I watched a couple tutorials on youtube and L O V E it.

I can set up monthly goals or a final $ amount goal for a predetermined month in the future for any category I want and it's helping me with accruals, etc. without having separate accounts. I found the credit card piece really really helpful for me too because I use my credit cards as much as possible and it automatically keeps track of what I've budgeted against categories, what I've spent on those categories through my credit card, and matches it up with how much I have available and budgeted to pay for those credit card charges.

I think I sound like an ad for YNAB at this point, but I have seriously been converted.

[pierogigirl]

Others have given good ideas. If I see something I think would make a good gift, I'll buy it if it's a great price. I bought my first thing in August (but it was for myself - see below). Some things I do to save money or make my life easier:

I usually save up credit card points and buy teachers gift cards with the "free" money. I also use the points for a gift card for something I want for the house. DH and I usually buy our own gifts and say they're from the other person because it's easier. We do stockings for each other.

I stopped doing cards because it's $$ and I didn't like it. I don't mind if people take us off their Christmas card list as a result.

I have almost stopped buying for the kids because no matter what I get them, DH will think it's not enough (he is frugal most of the time, but has some issues about Christmas from when he was a kid). Now I mostly let him buy for them so it's not so much stuff. I do the stockings. They have wanted snowboarding lessons for the last few years and we tell them it's part of their Christmas present because it's so pricey.

We only buy for our parents and the nieces and nephews, not our siblings.

[krystee]

This thread inspired me to write down everyone we are buying for and it’s 30 people. Sob.

[waverly]

Good idea on mostly stop buying for the kids if he is just going to buy more later anyway. .

[wildrice]

One thing my mom did when we were little was put her foot down about exchanging gifts with my dad's family. My dad is one of 10 kids so buying for cousins was insane. She told everyone not to buy for her kids because we aren't doing an exchange. I always felt a little awkward when the extended family was opening gifts, but even as a kid I recognized that most of what was being exchanged was low value junk and didn't feel too jealous when I already had received the stuff I actually wanted from my parents/grandparents. Everyone in the family still loves my mom so I really respect that she didn't agree to the madness. So, my biggest suggestion is to do that.

My siblings and I also agreed several years ago that it was a waste of time and money for us to all exchange. Again, we were buying stuff nobody needed and it was easier just to stop. We do buy for my sister's kids and if I had kids, I'm sure she'd buy for them too.

I also don't buy for friends. Basically, I'm a grinch lol. But the couple of friends I used to exchange with, I suggested doing something together instead. One of my friends and I started a tradition of taking a day to do some random acts of kindness or volunteering instead of buying gifts, and it was really fun.

So I hardly buy for anyone. Last year H and I didn't even do gifts. I know it's hard but I think the best way to avoid overspending for Christmas is just not to buy for a ton of people.

To actually answer your questions, I think I'd break the spending freeze for this and only this if it will save you time/money later. Assuming you have the money to do that, I guess. I wouldn't put things on a credit card now and pay them off in a few months, because it's likely any savings you get on sales will be partially negated by interest.

[madringal]

Oct 3, 2019 14:56:57 GMT -5 waverly said:

So my questions are:

1. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

2. Spending wise is it better to start early, or continue our spending freeze which feels so good? I am thinking hold off, but hate to shop last minute and feel disorganized.  My time management is warring with my money management. 

3. How do you factor in extra money if it doesn't come until way late in the year?

4. What is your typical Christmas budget?

5. Feel free to add other stuff that I didn't think of

6. What kind of excursions or vacation stuff have you done as a present?  Kids are 9 and 7 at that time.

1- I start Oct 1.
2 - I feel like starting early gives you time to comparison shop and look for better deals.
3 - We just cash flow it in Oct. Nov. and Dec. - $500 each month
4 - Our budget is $1500, I spend  $200 on each of my 3 kids, $75 on each of our parents, $50 on siblings, $40 for nieces and nephews, $25 for kids of cousins, $10 of a few gift exchanges my kids do with their friends.
5 - I also try to budget for teacher gifts, buying something for my employees, extra tips for my hairdresser, etc
6 - We haven't done that yet.

ETA: DH and I don't buy gifts for each other.  We usually go on a week long beach vacation in February without kids each year and call that our birthday/Christmas/Anniversary gift to each other.  

[goldengirlz]

I think it’s okay to count Christmas gifts outside the spending freeze if you get good deals or can relieve some stress. After all, it’s not impulse shopping but a planned expenditure. Stick to a list if that helps.

We don’t celebrate Christmas so my list is pretty short. We do $100 for DD’s teacher and maybe another $25-50 for aftercare and PE teachers. I give a small gift to a neighborhood friend’s kids because she always buys something for DD.

For Hanukkah, I probably spend about $1000 on DD plus another $150-200 for each set of parents. I always do tickets to shows for experience gifts or I might do something for her room.

[waverly]

Cappy , I do agree on the wastefulness. Gifts are not my love language, so it's really not much of my thing to give or receive especially when it is just something that will sit in my house unused. I prefer to spend my money on outings that are fun. I use all the living space in my house (basement, finished attic), so just having bins and bins of storage is not my thing, and I don't have many or very big closets, and don't want to contribute to their clutter either.

My family will ask and tell me what they want so we can tailor the gifts more although it does feel way more forced the overall way they do things. DH's family is more relaxed, but they have high expectations and go overboard on gifts so it's a lot when you look at the pile of presents. I normally have to purge the kids rooms and playrooms before their birthdays and Christmas because I just don't know where to put the new stuff.  Luckily DS at least is outgrowing some of the toy stage. 

[tres3]

we travel for christmas. My kids don't get presents except for the trip, but they've been conditioned to this.

my rule for christmas gifts is if I don't see you on christmas day you don't get gift. (this doesn't apply to people like my housekeeper, teacher gifts, etc).