I've mentioned in the randoms thread that DD (12) has had a couple of bad anxiety days. I had to go to school and get her today because she witnessed a fight that freaked her out. Now, she's afraid to go back to school because she's afraid of having another panic attack, afraid of witnessing another fight, and in general afraid of other possible violence (i.e. a shooting). It's become more of a difficult school since we moved here, which I think is part of why she has a hard time.
She wants to stay home tomorrow and I'm tempted to let her to allow her to take a mental health day--hey, I take them from time to time--but then what do I do if she doesn't think she can handle it on Thursday? I asked her that and she insists she just needs a break, but I want to make sure it's supportive and not enabling.
She does have an appointment with a new therapist next week, and it can't be moved up, unfortunately.
How do you help your kids when they start to associate school with anxiety?
My oldest has anxiety. I notice she can have rough days following breaks/vacations or especially ones that are unexpected like snow days. Part of hers is separation from me and i think simply having an attack away from her home, which is her safe place.
When this started for her in first grade, she took a scarf of mine with her to school that had my smell on it. This helped her. Really, whatever talisman she needs, I am happy to give her. I wear my Gram's Mary medal every day and when I am anxious i tend to hold it and rub it.
My oldest has anxiety. I notice she can have rough days following breaks/vacations or especially ones that are unexpected like snow days. Part of hers is separation from me and i think simply having an attack away from her home, which is her safe place.
When this started for her in first grade, she took a scarf of mine with her to school that had my smell on it. This helped her. Really, whatever talisman she needs, I am happy to give her. I wear my Gram's Mary medal every day and when I am anxious i tend to hold it and rub it.
When did it all really start? Was is the move?
It did start with the move, about 2.5 years ago. She'd shown lots of improvement, but has started to show signs of increased anxiety and possibly depression in the last few months.
My oldest has anxiety. I notice she can have rough days following breaks/vacations or especially ones that are unexpected like snow days. Part of hers is separation from me and i think simply having an attack away from her home, which is her safe place.
When this started for her in first grade, she took a scarf of mine with her to school that had my smell on it. This helped her. Really, whatever talisman she needs, I am happy to give her. I wear my Gram's Mary medal every day and when I am anxious i tend to hold it and rub it.
When did it all really start? Was is the move?
It did start with the move, about 2.5 years ago. She'd shown lots of improvement, but has started to show signs of increased anxiety and possibly depression in the last few months.
And how old is she? One of my triggers for depression is tied to my hormone levels. This is one reason i was not able to tolerate hormonal birth control.
I think mental health days are a good idea, but I can see your concern about how far and long does that go? What therapy has she tried? I know people who have really enjoyed art therapy, if she is artistically inclined. I think maybe a mix of talk therapy and something else might be good for her.
I'm sorry. I see both sides: that as a mom and wanting to help your child and that as a person who has suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. My kids really like the counselors at their school and can even spend their lunch period with them. Does her school offer something like that?
It did start with the move, about 2.5 years ago. She'd shown lots of improvement, but has started to show signs of increased anxiety and possibly depression in the last few months.
And how old is she? One of my triggers for depression is tied to my hormone levels. This is one reason i was not able to tolerate hormonal birth control.
I think mental health days are a good idea, but I can see your concern about how far and long does that go? What therapy has she tried? I know people who have really enjoyed art therapy, if she is artistically inclined. I think maybe a mix of talk therapy and something else might be good for her.
I'm sorry. I see both sides: that as a mom and wanting to help your child and that as a person who has suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. My kids really like the counselors at their school and can even spend their lunch period with them. Does her school offer something like that?
She's 12.5. Her previous therapist was a CBT, but they just didn't click. We're going to also try volunteering at the local animal shelter to give her some outside interests and because she's calmed by animals.
And how old is she? One of my triggers for depression is tied to my hormone levels. This is one reason i was not able to tolerate hormonal birth control.
I think mental health days are a good idea, but I can see your concern about how far and long does that go? What therapy has she tried? I know people who have really enjoyed art therapy, if she is artistically inclined. I think maybe a mix of talk therapy and something else might be good for her.
I'm sorry. I see both sides: that as a mom and wanting to help your child and that as a person who has suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. My kids really like the counselors at their school and can even spend their lunch period with them. Does her school offer something like that?
She's 12.5. Her previous therapist was a CBT, but they just didn't click. We're going to also try volunteering at the local animal shelter to give her some outside interests and because she's calmed by animals.
Mom of a kid with GAD and OCD here. Definitely stick with the CBT as that’s the best treatment for anxiety but keep looking until you find a therapist that your daughter can connect with. In my experience this is not the same as liking them as doing the work of CBT (and ERP in my kid’s case) is hard and not fun. But being able to connect with the therapist is important.
I have no advice for you on the skipping school thing. In my daughters case I would definitely make her go but I think it is very personal to the kid. Maybe you could send her but allow her to come home after lunch or something?
I am torn. I’m on board with mental health days but the CBT in me is all about facing my fears. I’m leaning towards stay home.
If you keep her home tomorrow maybe have her participate in some mental health/ self care activities and see if that helps. Is she helped at all by journaling, Art, meditation, yoga type stuff? Or even things like baths and exercise helps me.
And how old is she? One of my triggers for depression is tied to my hormone levels. This is one reason i was not able to tolerate hormonal birth control.
I think mental health days are a good idea, but I can see your concern about how far and long does that go? What therapy has she tried? I know people who have really enjoyed art therapy, if she is artistically inclined. I think maybe a mix of talk therapy and something else might be good for her.
I'm sorry. I see both sides: that as a mom and wanting to help your child and that as a person who has suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. My kids really like the counselors at their school and can even spend their lunch period with them. Does her school offer something like that?
She's 12.5. Her previous therapist was a CBT, but they just didn't click. We're going to also try volunteering at the local animal shelter to give her some outside interests and because she's calmed by animals.
So, i would be curious if puberty is slowly starting, if hormone levels are playing a part here. Just something to think about. I do think finding a therapist is like dating; you need the right chemistry for it to work and I think that is especially true with kids. They need to feel safe and that they can tell this person all their feelings and fears. I do remember, as a kid, feeling protective of my feelings and pretty careful about sharing them, even with my mom.
I think having outside things that she not only likes, but that are good at calming the anxiety is great. I think looking into alternative therapies are a good idea too. I hope things will click well with the therapist next week.
And are these panic attacks or anxiety attacks? I get the latter and for me, i feel like I am going throw up (which only increases the anxiety), get very shaky and they generally take 2-3 hours to pass. I don't get the feeling that I can't breath or chest pain like one get with a panic attack.
She's 12.5. Her previous therapist was a CBT, but they just didn't click. We're going to also try volunteering at the local animal shelter to give her some outside interests and because she's calmed by animals.
So, i would be curious if puberty is slowly starting, if hormone levels are playing a part here. Just something to think about. I do think finding a therapist is like dating; you need the right chemistry for it to work and I think that is especially true with kids. They need to feel safe and that they can tell this person all their feelings and fears. I do remember, as a kid, feeling protective of my feelings and pretty careful about sharing them, even with my mom.
I think having outside things that she not only likes, but that are good at calming the anxiety is great. I think looking into alternative therapies are a good idea too. I hope things will click well with the therapist next week.
And are these panic attacks or anxiety attacks? I get the latter and for me, i feel like I am going throw up (which only increases the anxiety), get very shaky and they generally take 2-3 hours to pass. I don't get the feeling that I can't breath or chest pain like one get with a panic attack.
Puberty started for her over a year ago, but I definitely think it affects her highly emotive state.
I honestly don't know the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack. She was crying and couldn't bring herself down from it, so probably an anxiety attack. Now, the anxiety is still present and bringing her back up to an anxious state.
I am torn. I’m on board with mental health days but the CBT in me is all about facing my fears. I’m leaning towards stay home.
If you keep her home tomorrow maybe have her participate in some mental health/ self care activities and see if that helps. Is she helped at all by journaling, Art, meditation, yoga type stuff? Or even things like baths and exercise helps me.
I just had her take a bath. DH is staying home with her tomorrow; I'm going to have him make sure she spend time with her Legos and listening to music and take a spin on the treadmill.
This is likely to be unpopular, but we finally had to put my 13.5 yr old DD on medication.
She’d always had a bit of anxiety about various things - the dark, being the last one awake in the house at night, being in the basement (finished) or garage alone, storms, the doors all being locked at night, etc.
Then two summers ago there was a minor incident at the pool where her friend fainted in front of her, had a minor convulsion. My kid freaked out. Friend was totally fine. Likely just dehydrated, although I can understand how it was scary for my kid.
But after that she was just increasingly a mess. Everything she already was worried or scared about got so much worse. And then new things were added. Like heat. Because of the pool and fainting. And that created issues with things she loved - swimming and soccer. It was truly awful to see. She was having anxiety attacks all the time. She would feel like she was going to faint or that she couldn’t even feel her body at all. She couldn’t play soccer because she was scared she’d overheat. She broke down in the middle of a game last spring. On the field.
She would get really upset when kids fought at school. I don’t know how many times I had to go up to the school last year to calm her down.
We took her to the pediatrician and did COPE. We took her to a therapist who she really liked but it was hard to get her in because she had activities after school, and I was hesitant to have her miss the things she WAS still able to do. Then her therapist got sick. Then her new therapist went on maternity leave.
She leveled out to a degree but just wasn’t herself, so I took her back to the pediatrician. We started her on meds. It made a real difference. She was more herself. She was calmer. Fewer anxiety attacks. She was able to get through soccer practices.
We still weren’t quite there yet. I felt like she was still kind of off, waiting for something bad to happen, or I don’t know. They upped her meds one time, and it has been truly amazing.
She is back to her social, kick ass soccer playing self. She doesn’t ask me if the doors are locked. She doesn’t text me at night to make sure I’m still awake so she’s not last. She will go get something out of the garage without needing one of us to stand at the door. Even storms don’t freak her out near as badly.
I know it’s not a permanent solution, but I’m truly hoping that we can get her through middle school / puberty / the real crap that this age is for a girl, and then wean her off at the right time.
Ugh. Sorry if that’s a hijack, but I just wanted to put that out there - that once you’ve tried every thing else, if you are at a loss and don’t know what else to do, the meds don’t have to be a bad thing.
Mental health days are a concept that I can get behind for adults, but not for kids. It’s too hard for children or adolescents to conceptualize the difference between a day off to avoid anxiety provoking stimulus vs a day off to...to do what? I’m not being snarky here when I say this, but what would be the purpose. If it were to go to an appointment with a CBT therapist? Yes. But not just to stay home and be out of school.
There is a spectrum of school anxiety, school phobia and school refusal. What happens when anxious kids are absent? They then likely become overwhelmed with the missing work and missed instruction. Which causes more anxiety.
Will this happen in one day? Maybe not. But I think you should be asked what exactly the purpose would be.
I think a much better bet is to speak with the school counselor or a point person at school who can help be a check in person, formulate a plan with them. Tell them here’s what is going on.
Good luck to you, this is not easy. Having a professional work with you and your family is a good step. There are a lot of therapists out there. Some are effective and some just aren’t.. You want the best bang for your buck (and time?) Ask your school counselor who they recommend bc I guarantee they’ve worked with other kids and families through this.
I have a 13 year old, and it seems there are a lot of kids, especially girls, with anxiety issues at her school. There is even a popular after school program near the school that seems to focus on helping them. Take my advice with a grain of salt, but I would send her. If she doesn't go, the crisis has more time to build up in her mind, she gets behind in class, and that adds to the stress. If she goes, she can come home early, if she needs to, but she could well have a much better day, and that adds to her confidence, and reduces her stress.
How is her friend situation? Does she get exercise and/or outside time? Is the school work going well? Do her after school activities add or reduce her anxiety? It seems to me that anxiety is sort of like a bucket, if the bucket is empty, and she had witnessed something like a fight, she could cope, but if the bucket is already full, and then something happens, the bucket overflows, and cannot be stopped. Helping her parse out what is in the bucket might help. DD's previous school taught all kids mindfulness and had regular periods of silent reflection in all grades every week, as part of the curriculum. I give a lot of credit to these ideas for helping DD when she is overwhelmed.
It is hard to watch our kids hurt. Hope the therapist can help her quickly.
My oldest has anxiety. I notice she can have rough days following breaks/vacations or especially ones that are unexpected like snow days. Part of hers is separation from me and i think simply having an attack away from her home, which is her safe place.
When this started for her in first grade, she took a scarf of mine with her to school that had my smell on it. This helped her. Really, whatever talisman she needs, I am happy to give her. I wear my Gram's Mary medal every day and when I am anxious i tend to hold it and rub it.
When did it all really start? Was is the move?
Along these lines - my mom made sure that I knew that I could call her anytime. She was an operating room nurse and told the switch board that I may call and to connect me to the OR. They always did. She always scrubbed out to talk to me. Knowing that I could talk to her anytime was ao helpful.
This is likely to be unpopular, but we finally had to put my 13.5 yr old DD on medication.
She’d always had a bit of anxiety about various things - the dark, being the last one awake in the house at night, being in the basement (finished) or garage alone, storms, the doors all being locked at night, etc.
Then two summers ago there was a minor incident at the pool where her friend fainted in front of her, had a minor convulsion. My kid freaked out. Friend was totally fine. Likely just dehydrated, although I can understand how it was scary for my kid.
But after that she was just increasingly a mess. Everything she already was worried or scared about got so much worse. And then new things were added. Like heat. Because of the pool and fainting. And that created issues with things she loved - swimming and soccer. It was truly awful to see. She was having anxiety attacks all the time. She would feel like she was going to faint or that she couldn’t even feel her body at all. She couldn’t play soccer because she was scared she’d overheat. She broke down in the middle of a game last spring. On the field.
She would get really upset when kids fought at school. I don’t know how many times I had to go up to the school last year to calm her down.
We took her to the pediatrician and did COPE. We took her to a therapist who she really liked but it was hard to get her in because she had activities after school, and I was hesitant to have her miss the things she WAS still able to do. Then her therapist got sick. Then her new therapist went on maternity leave.
She leveled out to a degree but just wasn’t herself, so I took her back to the pediatrician. We started her on meds. It made a real difference. She was more herself. She was calmer. Fewer anxiety attacks. She was able to get through soccer practices.
We still weren’t quite there yet. I felt like she was still kind of off, waiting for something bad to happen, or I don’t know. They upped her meds one time, and it has been truly amazing.
She is back to her social, kick ass soccer playing self. She doesn’t ask me if the doors are locked. She doesn’t text me at night to make sure I’m still awake so she’s not last. She will go get something out of the garage without needing one of us to stand at the door. Even storms don’t freak her out near as badly.
I know it’s not a permanent solution, but I’m truly hoping that we can get her through middle school / puberty / the real crap that this age is for a girl, and then wean her off at the right time.
Ugh. Sorry if that’s a hijack, but I just wanted to put that out there - that once you’ve tried every thing else, if you are at a loss and don’t know what else to do, the meds don’t have to be a bad thing.
My daughter has been on fluoxetine since she was 8. Game changer for us. We would bot have made the progress we gave in therapy without it. Mental illness is a result of brain chemistry, and medication corrects that. Should be no different than insulin for diabetics.
You’re a good mom for doing the best for your kid.
This is likely to be unpopular, but we finally had to put my 13.5 yr old DD on medication.
She’d always had a bit of anxiety about various things - the dark, being the last one awake in the house at night, being in the basement (finished) or garage alone, storms, the doors all being locked at night, etc.
Then two summers ago there was a minor incident at the pool where her friend fainted in front of her, had a minor convulsion. My kid freaked out. Friend was totally fine. Likely just dehydrated, although I can understand how it was scary for my kid.
But after that she was just increasingly a mess. Everything she already was worried or scared about got so much worse. And then new things were added. Like heat. Because of the pool and fainting. And that created issues with things she loved - swimming and soccer. It was truly awful to see. She was having anxiety attacks all the time. She would feel like she was going to faint or that she couldn’t even feel her body at all. She couldn’t play soccer because she was scared she’d overheat. She broke down in the middle of a game last spring. On the field.
She would get really upset when kids fought at school. I don’t know how many times I had to go up to the school last year to calm her down.
We took her to the pediatrician and did COPE. We took her to a therapist who she really liked but it was hard to get her in because she had activities after school, and I was hesitant to have her miss the things she WAS still able to do. Then her therapist got sick. Then her new therapist went on maternity leave.
She leveled out to a degree but just wasn’t herself, so I took her back to the pediatrician. We started her on meds. It made a real difference. She was more herself. She was calmer. Fewer anxiety attacks. She was able to get through soccer practices.
We still weren’t quite there yet. I felt like she was still kind of off, waiting for something bad to happen, or I don’t know. They upped her meds one time, and it has been truly amazing.
She is back to her social, kick ass soccer playing self. She doesn’t ask me if the doors are locked. She doesn’t text me at night to make sure I’m still awake so she’s not last. She will go get something out of the garage without needing one of us to stand at the door. Even storms don’t freak her out near as badly.
I know it’s not a permanent solution, but I’m truly hoping that we can get her through middle school / puberty / the real crap that this age is for a girl, and then wean her off at the right time.
Ugh. Sorry if that’s a hijack, but I just wanted to put that out there - that once you’ve tried every thing else, if you are at a loss and don’t know what else to do, the meds don’t have to be a bad thing.
My daughter has been on fluoxetine since she was 8. Game changer for us. We would bot have made the progress we gave in therapy without it. Mental illness is a result of brain chemistry, and medication corrects that. Should be no different than insulin for diabetics.
You’re a good mom for doing the best for your kid.
Thank you. That was so kind. It was a hard choice after what was honestly one of the most difficult years I’ve ever experienced. It is incredibly hard to see our kids struggle.
ETA I’m glad you were able to help your daughter as well. It’s great that she’s had that support from you!
Post by malamutelover on Dec 4, 2019 10:14:53 GMT -5
Ugh I feel for you. My parents had to watch me go through this when I was young as I had debilitating OCD and GAD, which thankfully I grew out of. Therapy was amazing. Also, just having my parents there to remind me it wasn’t anything to be embarrassed about was huge. Sounds like you already have that part covered so that’s awesome. I say let her have one day off but make sure it’s a positive or productive day. Good luck!
My daughter is medicated after years of severe anxiety issues but she still has days when she feels anxious--at times for no identifiable reason. After picking her up from school once due to insistence on the nurse's part, I told my daughter I would not be picking her up again unless she was vomiting/diarrhea or had a fever (obviously other reasons may come up but this helped her focus on if she was truly sick of if anxiety was making her feel bad). I let her teacher know the plan and said she is on board. I discussed the plan with my daughter at a time when she wasn't anxious. We also have a no staying home rule because anxiety is going to be lifelong and she is working towards being resilient and working through the anxiety with the coping tools she has learned. I highly recommend discussing future parameters and coming up with a plan for if your daughter requests to stay home due to anxiety. Always be sure to do this at a totally non anxious time though! We also have a 504 plan which allows her to go talk to social worker to calm down if she feels anxious at school as opposed to going to nurse as being around sick people makes her more anxious. Good luck! It's so hard to watch your child struggle!
My daughter has been on fluoxetine since she was 8. Game changer for us. We would bot have made the progress we gave in therapy without it. Mental illness is a result of brain chemistry, and medication corrects that. Should be no different than insulin for diabetics.
You’re a good mom for doing the best for your kid.
Thank you. That was so kind. It was a hard choice after what was honestly one of the most difficult years I’ve ever experienced. It is incredibly hard to see our kids struggle.
ETA I’m glad you were able to help your daughter as well. It’s great that she’s had that support from you!
Thanks!! It does somehow feel “wrong” to give meds but I’m working so hard to convince myself and others that it really is ok!! I don’t know why we (as a society) don’t equate mental illness with other illnesses but it really is no different.
This is likely to be unpopular, but we finally had to put my 13.5 yr old DD on medication.
She’d always had a bit of anxiety about various things - the dark, being the last one awake in the house at night, being in the basement (finished) or garage alone, storms, the doors all being locked at night, etc.
Then two summers ago there was a minor incident at the pool where her friend fainted in front of her, had a minor convulsion. My kid freaked out. Friend was totally fine. Likely just dehydrated, although I can understand how it was scary for my kid.
But after that she was just increasingly a mess. Everything she already was worried or scared about got so much worse. And then new things were added. Like heat. Because of the pool and fainting. And that created issues with things she loved - swimming and soccer. It was truly awful to see. She was having anxiety attacks all the time. She would feel like she was going to faint or that she couldn’t even feel her body at all. She couldn’t play soccer because she was scared she’d overheat. She broke down in the middle of a game last spring. On the field.
She would get really upset when kids fought at school. I don’t know how many times I had to go up to the school last year to calm her down.
We took her to the pediatrician and did COPE. We took her to a therapist who she really liked but it was hard to get her in because she had activities after school, and I was hesitant to have her miss the things she WAS still able to do. Then her therapist got sick. Then her new therapist went on maternity leave.
She leveled out to a degree but just wasn’t herself, so I took her back to the pediatrician. We started her on meds. It made a real difference. She was more herself. She was calmer. Fewer anxiety attacks. She was able to get through soccer practices.
We still weren’t quite there yet. I felt like she was still kind of off, waiting for something bad to happen, or I don’t know. They upped her meds one time, and it has been truly amazing.
She is back to her social, kick ass soccer playing self. She doesn’t ask me if the doors are locked. She doesn’t text me at night to make sure I’m still awake so she’s not last. She will go get something out of the garage without needing one of us to stand at the door. Even storms don’t freak her out near as badly.
I know it’s not a permanent solution, but I’m truly hoping that we can get her through middle school / puberty / the real crap that this age is for a girl, and then wean her off at the right time.
Ugh. Sorry if that’s a hijack, but I just wanted to put that out there - that once you’ve tried every thing else, if you are at a loss and don’t know what else to do, the meds don’t have to be a bad thing.
My daughter has been on fluoxetine since she was 8. Game changer for us. We would bot have made the progress we gave in therapy without it. Mental illness is a result of brain chemistry, and medication corrects that. Should be no different than insulin for diabetics.
You’re a good mom for doing the best for your kid.
My 13yo is also on fluoxetine (he started in May). Truthfully, we decided on an SSRI for his Selective Mutism/anxiety. I had always told myself, if his anxiety started getting in the way of him living a normal day to day life, then we would medicate. Luckily his anxiety had stayed low and was managed well (so we thought), but he was still mute and his academics were falling.
Anyway, I expected it to help his Mutism and it has but it also has helped him in others ways that I didn't even know there were struggles. I didn't know how much he was holding back truthfully until I saw him on these meds.
He smiles all the time, he is less timid, his shoulders dropped, he stopped hiding behind hats and hoodies and his long hair. He even cut his hair short a few weeks after starting the meds. He started being dropped off at school (used to ONLY take the bus and was very routined). After meds, he handles change much, much better. He heads to school happily, he's more aggressive in sports (in a good way - not holding back). He also is more open with his communication, shares his opinions and thoughts. This has spilled over into his school work. His writing especially. He used to struggle with creative or opinionated writing assignments. I commented after a month or so on the meds and said "wow, you really seem more relaxed and free" he says "well, yeah. I don't feel so pulled in"and he literally squeezed his arms into his chest to indicate he felt tense/tight before. His anxiety is very controlled and dare I says "normal?". For example, he will get nervous before basketball tryouts, but that is normal and all the boys were anxious. The med, doesn't numb it, it just helps him cope with it much better. Anyway, not looking to push the meds but it is something I would consider if you feel her anxiety is getting in the way of functioning normally every day.
I do think you do need to get her back into the school. Avoiding the location of the anxiety will only make it more difficult later to return. I am late to answer but I wouldn't recommend a mental health day. HTH
Post by anastasia517 on Dec 4, 2019 13:57:19 GMT -5
I had similar issues starting around the same age and it kept building until I finally got medicated at 16, first with meds for panic attacks before adding a daily SSRI. CBT can also be helpful at re-training your brain, although putting in the work while anxious is daunting.
With your daughter worrying about having a panic attack and not being able to get away it makes me think agoraphobia may be an issue, since that was (and still is, to a lesser extent) one of my panic attack triggers. I will say that my child psychiatrist said it is counterproductive to avoid going to school, the movies, sports games, and so on out of fear of a panic attack because you're conditioning yourself to believe that you can't handle it and you need to be somewhere "safe". So while I completely sympathize with your daughter (I was missing a day of school every week at one point), staying home is actually the opposite of what you should be doing to overcome the fear. One thing I wish I'd known back in the day is that you can get accommodations for anxiety and panic disorders through the school. My parents never knew and it would have been incredibly helpful for me from middle school all through university.
pinkly, right now we're not thinking meds, because we haven't fully explored therapy to the fullest extent.
campermom, normally, I agree that letting her stay home isn't an option, and we've never let her do it before, but sometimes you have to know your kid. She didn't want to stay home today, but she didn't think she could do it. Unfortunately, a lot of stuff at school has been building up, so I think taking a step back helped her regroup.
imojoebunny, her friend situation is great and she's actually very open with them about her feelings. She's not in too many after school activities because she's still trying to find her passion--one reason we're going to be volunteering together at the animal shelter come January. I think your thing like the bucket explains why she just couldn't cope. Her school is kind of rough, and she's had some students in a few classes make things difficult for her. I think everything just built up to this one moment.
jeaniebueller, the counselor and social worker were out yesterday, which might be one reason she couldn't calm down--she didn't have her usual support system, but I'm going to email them and ask them to help her put together a plan.
We ended up letting her stay home, and DH stayed with her, and we made sure she knew that this was a one-day thing. She ended up sleeping in my bed last night and the first thing she said when she woke up was that she just couldn't do it. She went to bed a wreck and woke up a wreck.
pinkly, right now we're not thinking meds, because we haven't fully explored therapy to the fullest extent.
campermom, normally, I agree that letting her stay home isn't an option, and we've never let her do it before, but sometimes you have to know your kid. She didn't want to stay home today, but she didn't think she could do it. Unfortunately, a lot of stuff at school has been building up, so I think taking a step back helped her regroup.
imojoebunny, her friend situation is great and she's actually very open with them about her feelings. She's not in too many after school activities because she's still trying to find her passion--one reason we're going to be volunteering together at the animal shelter come January. I think your thing like the bucket explains why she just couldn't cope. Her school is kind of rough, and she's had some students in a few classes make things difficult for her. I think everything just built up to this one moment.
jeaniebueller, the counselor and social worker were out yesterday, which might be one reason she couldn't calm down--she didn't have her usual support system, but I'm going to email them and ask them to help her put together a plan.
We ended up letting her stay home, and DH stayed with her, and we made sure she knew that this was a one-day thing. She ended up sleeping in my bed last night and the first thing she said when she woke up was that she just couldn't do it. She went to bed a wreck and woke up a wreck.
Yeah, I understand. Sorry I jumped to that without really addressing what you were asking. Your post just opened the floodgates for me, I guess.
We never did let DD stay home. Not at all saying you made the wrong choice. You know your kid. With mine, it totally would have been setting a precedent we wouldn’t have been able to reverse had we done it.
I wish you the best of luck with the therapy, and I hope that your daughter is able to see her way through this soon. My heart goes out to you both.