I know a lot of you vacation with family. So I have a question regarding how you split the bill. Do you split by person or family group?
Most of my family is doing a long weekend in AZ in May to watch the Cubs play the Diamondbacks. My uncle is flying in from Ohio, they are meeting my aunt who lives in AZ, my brother, parents and sister are all planning to go. They want DD and I to go too. I know I would by my own plane tickets but do you pay for each person split of the house bill, rental car. I know I would pay for game tickets, food, etc. for DD and I.
I keep saying no as I figured almost $1000 for DD and I to go if we are splitting by person and that was going to only one ball game. I can't imagine sitting through 3 baseball games. Family countered back that I could just send DD. Part of me feels like they just want me to cover part of the bill.
I'd say per person makes sense to split in that scenario.
That's usually how we figure it out when I travel with my parents and siblings. On vacations in the past, when XH and I were still together, it made more sense to split per person because we were a family of four, versus my siblings who were both single at the time.
We tend to split by number of bedrooms when we vacation with family or friends and rent a house. So my parents pay less because they only need one bedroom (though they're pretty generous and will end up treating everyone to a lot of meals and other stuff). We're going on a trip with friends this summer and I offered to pay 3/5 of the 5-bedroom house because we'd like to use 3 of the bedrooms, and the other family only needs two.
I agree with k3am on just asking them how they think costs should break down.
They haven't booked anything yet as they are trying to figure out who is going to go before looking at houses. It seems like they want me to pay by person which is why they are trying to convince me that DD needs to go so their cost is cheaper. I still think it is way too expensive for a weekend to just watch baseball. I really was just wondering how other families do group trips. This is the first time this kind of trip has been brought up.
When we rent a house with my mom, we've paid for all the lodging (4 people versus 1). Our flights were free with airline miles. My mom paid for her flight. We got 2 rental cars, and she paid for hers and we paid for ours.
The trip last year with my sister and my dad we all drove, and we didn't rent a house together. My sister paid for the house rental (not sure if dad gave her money), and we paid for our campsite.
We went on a trip with my in-laws driving with separate hotel rooms, and they might have paid our hotel room because we were poor students back then.
I did 2 girls trips, driving. If you were there 3 nights it was slightly more than there 2 nights, so number of nights mattered and then it was divided per person, but we were all adults. Some shared rooms some did not.
ETA- We have started to always have our own rental cars because if DH and I want to get out and away from everyone else we would need that. We've always had our own car as older adults except when we drove with the in-laws for that one weekend as the point was to drive together. I would think you and DD would likely share a room, so I would think the housing would be split by room. Also, my SIL keeps pushing me to send the kids unaccompanied flying, and I am just not there yet. Maybe it's no big deal to her, but I don't like it when people push that kind of stuff on me. My 9 year old might be starting to get ready-ish for this. My 7 year old DD is definitely not.
We vacation with my sisters (one is a family of 5, one is a family of 4) and then us, a family of 5. We split homes we rent by 3, groceries by 3, so I guess shared stuff by 3. My dad and his wife usually come for just a few days, we cover everything for them. They usually take us all out to dinner one night or something.
When we met everyone in Florida this year, my in laws paid for everyone's flights and the hotel as a Christmas gift to all of us (which was amazing), and so that we could all go to the family wedding down there. We could swing it, but DH's sister and her husband couldn't and were considering driving down. We took the opportunity to add on a Disney world trip which we paid for ourselves. We paid for our car rental, and some meals. But that was about it. They are typically very generous and have the resources to afford to be.
When we go with my parents, we typically all pay for our own stuff, and then alternate who pays for meals.
We have started splitting per person as some people are travelling solo and some have kids. Per person seems to make the most sense. We do alternate paying for meals. We try to cover an extra meal or two since we have 3.
I told my dad today at lunch that DD and I wouldn't be going to AZ with them. I was checking tickets and DD and I could fly to CO for a week and visit my BFF and her kids for less than the weekend in AZ. Or I could put the $$$ towards a trip to Hawaii for the 3 of us. I want to use my vacation dollars for things we enjoy.
186momx, this is why I save money to hopefully use when I'm older to take my kids on vacation. I'm sure your dad would get more quality time with you and your DD if he just offered to foot the bill
1- to answer your question, we basically split per person. When kids were younger, we split only among the adults, but as kids got older and needed their own room, per person seemed to be more fair.
2- Why are you so convinced they are inviting you just to make it cheaper? It's family and they are inviting you - family - to go. You know your family - I don't, obviously. But it seems so cynical to think they are only inviting you to make it cheaper. Just your DD going isn't going to save them a ton of money!!
3- as far as the games go- if you only want to go to 1 game, then go to 1 game. This is a big thing with me and group trips - people HAVE to be o.k. w/ everyone NOT being together constantly all doing the same thing. I'm sure there is more to do in that area that you and DD could explore. If going to 3 games doesn't interest you, then don't go. This is YOUR vacation just as much as it's anyone elses.
And really, if they said that you HAVE to go to all the games, that alone would probably make me bow out. I don't want to go on a trip where I'm forced to do stuff I don't want to do.
4- Lastly - be more upfront about your concerns. While they may be trying to determine who is going before saying "it's going to cost $ per person", you can at least find out if they plan to split per person/ per room, or what. And same with rental car - how will that be split? There is nothing wrong with saying "we have a vacation budget and I need to have a better idea of how the house and car will be split".
ETA: If they ask "what's your budget?", I'd say "thats for me to worry about. I just need to have an idea of expenses/ how things will be split". You don't need to tell them what you feel you can afford.
We use the app Splitwise when we travel with a group. You load all spends, regardless of who picks up the bill. Then you can assign each one differently - one maybe a 50/50 split with another person, one a three way split for all, etc. at the end of the trip, you click a button to settle up, and it can tell you who owes what to whom.
It doesn’t help define your particular parameters, but it does make execution super easy, so I thought I’d share.