I am super late to this but want to say a few things - first, I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. It is so awful. Second, this is 100% not normal for good, competitive swim clubs. My 8 year old is on a highly competitive team that is ranked in the top 5 in the country through USA swimming, and this stuff would NEVER be allowed at practice. My daughter is the top 8 year old swimmer and if she is not leading the lane because someone jumps in front of her the coach will calmly hold back whoever is slower than her so she can go ahead. She isn't always first because she trains with 9 and 10 year olds but they generally try to split them by age. They would never, ever allow any child to be physical with another swimmer. Ever.
Do you have an equally competitive team in your area? I am so sorry, I hope she finds her love of swimming again.
We have another option, but they don’t do the same yardage which was part of why DD didn’t want to switch when this first started (she is a distance kid) along with having to leave her friends, but if she decides she feels like she can swim again, I will literally pick any team at this point bc I just want her happy.
I’m trying to stay optimistic that with therapy and a break from it all, she’ll be able to work through the anxiety this has all caused.
We are just so sad.
My daughter is also a distance swimmer and she just ends up in the longer events in meets than most of the other 8 year olds, and they do long course training from April - August. It may not be ideal but another club could still work for her! I would be sad too, it's awful that all of this has happened.
I feel like there is a cognitive dissonance between won't get in the water due to an uncontrollable meltdown and heart shattered when she is not at her favorite meet. I get conflicting emotions, but it just doesn't sound like she is at the point of being rational yet.
Hopefully this is something they can work with her in therapy. I'm sorry you all had to go through this. Perhaps some anti bullying resources might be helpful for her as well such as books similar to these www.weareteachers.com/14-must-read-anti-bullying-books-for-kids/. I know we also have a local non-profit with a support group here as well, so you might find that in other cities.