Questions 2/19

[hamster]

C (2) is narrating every moment of his life. It's adorable but exhausting. Will he ever stop? Lol

"Block. Toys. Deano. Deano. Deano. Turn. Orange. Block. Bunny. Mama. Block. Block. All done. Block. Clark. Animal. Lion." Rinse and repeat all.day.long.

[lovelyshoes]

Ha cute but so annoying. It will stop, but for us it lasted for a while to some degree.

[Mrs.flang]

How do you not yell at your kids? I am not typically really a yeller in day to day stuff, but every once in a while (probably 1-2 a month), I lose my shit and angry yell. It's terrible and I hate it. I always apologize right after. I just feel like I need some other mechanism to control it before it happens, but since I usually am good at keeping my cool its like it builds up and comes out bad and scary when it does.

[scm1011]

Feb 19, 2020 11:38:34 GMT -5 hamster said:

C (2) is narrating every moment of his life. It's adorable but exhausting. Will he ever stop? Lol

"Block. Toys. Deano. Deano. Deano. Turn. Orange. Block. Bunny. Mama. Block. Block. All done. Block. Clark. Animal. Lion." Rinse and repeat all.day.long.

My kid repeats everything I say as a question. All.day.long.

Me: "Ok, its time to put your coat on!"
C: "Its time to put my coat on?"

Me: "I need you to put your toys away now, please"
C: "You need me to put my toys away? 

I live in an echo chamber. 

[mbcdefg]

Feb 19, 2020 12:17:50 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

How do you not yell at your kids? I am not typically really a yeller in day to day stuff, but every once in a while (probably 1-2 a month), I lose my shit and angry yell. It's terrible and I hate it. I always apologize right after. I just feel like I need some other mechanism to control it before it happens, but since I usually am good at keeping my cool its like it builds up and comes out bad and scary when it does.

I say super sarcastic stuff, or work relevant movie/tv show quotes into the conversation, as I speak to DD to cheer myself up. Nothing nasty or anything, just silly stuff that makes me chuckle. It doesn’t always work and I’ve definitely lost my cool with her, but sometimes it helps bring me down enough where I can speak calmly to her.

My random is that DD (2.5) has started saying “pah-nts” and “cah-nt” instead of pants and can’t. I don’t know where she picked up that pronunciation. My sister suggested maybe it’s from Peppa Pig but she doesn’t watch that.

[icedcoffee]

Feb 19, 2020 12:17:50 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

How do you not yell at your kids? I am not typically really a yeller in day to day stuff, but every once in a while (probably 1-2 a month), I lose my shit and angry yell. It's terrible and I hate it. I always apologize right after. I just feel like I need some other mechanism to control it before it happens, but since I usually am good at keeping my cool its like it builds up and comes out bad and scary when it does.

I have no idea.  I am with you on this.  In that parenting thread a few weeks ago lots of people said they don't yell and I was just thinking "but...how?".  My kid is so stubborn and I keep my cool, keep my cool and then explode and it's not pretty.   Like...I am not violent at all, but it does scare my child. 

[Mrs.flang]

I feel like I've gotten worse lately and was thinking it might be hormone related (since I just got my first period back like 6 weeks ago), or if it's just because my kids ages are the worst. The 1yo is clingy as hell, and my 3.5yo is, well, she's 3.5.

One morning not that long ago, I was trying to get everyone out the door, had two screaming kids grabbing at my feet, and the thing that set me off is that my stupid cell phone fell out of my pocket. I let out a loud "ARG", which at least shut everyone up for 0.2 seconds. Parenting is crazy making!

[noodleoo]

Feb 19, 2020 12:17:50 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

How do you not yell at your kids? I am not typically really a yeller in day to day stuff, but every once in a while (probably 1-2 a month), I lose my shit and angry yell. It's terrible and I hate it. I always apologize right after. I just feel like I need some other mechanism to control it before it happens, but since I usually am good at keeping my cool its like it builds up and comes out bad and scary when it does.

LOL, i was going to say only 1-2 times a month isn't bad!  I've gotten a lot better about yelling, but I still slip up once in a while.  A few things that help me:  walking away to calm down first or taking a few deep breaths before responding.  Usually when I get close to yelling at DD1 it is because she's throwing a tantrum or is very frustrated/upset about something.  I've found I can diffuse the situation by being funny and getting her to laugh.  I either do something silly or pretend to be upset with her in an exaggerated way.  That has helped a lot.  But, sometimes I just lose it too and I try not to dwell on it too much.  I grew up in a family of yellers and I'm doing *way* better than my parents did with me, so I call that a win. 

My sister sent me this article once and it helped put it in perspective.  

messymotherhood.com/this-is-why-its-okay-if-you-yell-at-your-kids/

[icedcoffee]

3 year olds are literally insane. I vote it's not you. At least that's what I tell myself.

[noodleoo]

Anyone have experience with night terrors? DD1 has been having these recently. It is so awful, she "wakes up" screaming and is incoherent and inconsolable. I read that they are not really awake and to just comfort them, but nothing I do seems to help. I have to just wait it out and it is so sad (and honestly frustrating too, just go back to sleep!). Last night I had to sit on DD1's bed for almost 45 mins because she would start crying again anytime I tried to walk away. Any advice on how to deal? Or when she might grow out of it? She'll be 5 in May and this started maybe 1-2 months ago.

[lovelyshoes]

Feb 19, 2020 12:45:17 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

I feel like I've gotten worse lately and was thinking it might be hormone related (since I just got my first period back like 6 weeks ago), or if it's just because my kids ages are the worst. The 1yo is clingy as hell, and my 3.5yo is, well, she's 3.5.

One morning not that long ago, I was trying to get everyone out the door, had two screaming kids grabbing at my feet, and the thing that set me off is that my stupid cell phone fell out of my pocket. I let out a loud "ARG", which at least shut everyone up for 0.2 seconds. Parenting is crazy making!

Walking away is the only thing that helps me and I am not a yeller by nature. I hate conflict and all that. Walking away even for just a minute. 3 is an awful age, it gets better until 12 and then it’s worse than ever. Sorry. My teenager pushes all the buttons at once and smirks while doing it. How do I not yell at him? Sorry for making this about me.

[dcn]

I’m totally a yeller and have been really trying to decrease it. Mostly, I identified what my triggers are - being late Is a big one, being stressed getting dinner on the table, repeating myself and them ignoring me is a big one. then I try to set myself up for success so that we are on time, I have a plan for dinner etc.

I also try to put myself in their shoes - like my older son hates getting up for school. It’s such a struggle. And I get it. I also hate getting out of bed. So we talked together and came up with a plan for the mornings. Reframing it that way helps sometimes.

I also have been working on recognizing when I’m about to snap so I can walk away and rage clean or take a few minutes to calm down. I can feel my face get hot and my heart rate speeds up. I don’t always catch it and still yell but it’s seriously my goal for 2020 to get it under control more. So you are doing great I think.

Being tired makes it a million times harder so I’m also trying to make sleep a priority.

[pandorica]

We're going to pick up a Cosco Scenera car seat for our upcoming travel. I'm guessing we'll want a cheap travel stroller for our 14 month old too. Any suggestions? Can I pick up an used umbrella stroller or will some of them suck?

[icedcoffee]

Feb 19, 2020 12:59:50 GMT -5 pandorica said:

We're going to pick up a Cosco Scenera car seat for our upcoming travel. I'm guessing we'll want a cheap travel stroller for our 14 month old too. Any suggestions? Can I pick up an used umbrella stroller or will some of them suck?

If you're flying the mountain buggy nano has a hack with the Cosco Scenera car seat that makes it easier to schlep through the airport:


sanctuarymama.wordpress.com/2015/09/10/mama-hack-mountain-buggy-nano-and-toddler-car-seat/

[Susie]

DD (4) is generally pretty articulate for her age, but she can't say "breakfast."  It comes out, breffixt.  I can't think of any other words she specifically struggles with.  Will she figure that out on her own or should we be working on correcting her?

[andi]

Feb 19, 2020 12:49:57 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Anyone have experience with night terrors? DD1 has been having these recently. It is so awful, she "wakes up" screaming and is incoherent and inconsolable. I read that they are not really awake and to just comfort them, but nothing I do seems to help. I have to just wait it out and it is so sad (and honestly frustrating too, just go back to sleep!). Last night I had to sit on DD1's bed for almost 45 mins because she would start crying again anytime I tried to walk away. Any advice on how to deal? Or when she might grow out of it? She'll be 5 in May and this started maybe 1-2 months ago.

My daughter went through this when she was around 4 and I can't remember how long it lasted (few months maybe?) but it did just randomly stop. She has a Tranquil Turtle so we would turn that on and rub her back for awhile. There were many nights where we sat with her for quite awhile, but it did eventually just stop. Good luck!

[pandora89]

Toddlers and hitting. DS (21 months) has started hitting recently. He doesn't do it at daycare but has no problems smacking people at home if we tell him he isnt supposed to be doing something, doesn't like what we say etc. We have tried being stern, we have told him it hurts/makes us upset/no use your words etc. He always apologizes after and gives us a hug but sometimes immediately slaps again right after the hug. Sometimes he even hugs first and then slaps like he thinks its okay since he already hugged and made nice. We noticed he tends to do this more so when he's tired and it's getting close to bedtime. Is there anything else we can do to address this? He understands that he isnt supposed to be doing this because he cries when we tell him not to do it, but it is usually his fake cry. Yesterday I was holding him when he hit me and we were standing in front of the mirror. DS was looking at himself in the mirror and exaggerating his pout and going in for the full effect for his "sad crying face".

[dcn]

Feb 19, 2020 13:27:57 GMT -5 Susie said:

DD (4) is generally pretty articulate for her age, but she can't say "breakfast."  It comes out, breffixt.  I can't think of any other words she specifically struggles with.  Will she figure that out on her own or should we be working on correcting her?

She’ll likely figure it out.

[Mrs.flang]

Feb 19, 2020 13:43:48 GMT -5 pandora89 said:

Toddlers and hitting. DS (21 months) has started hitting recently. He doesn't do it at daycare but has no problems smacking people at home if we tell him he isnt supposed to be doing something, doesn't like what we say etc. We have tried being stern, we have told him it hurts/makes us upset/no use your words etc. He always apologizes after and gives us a hug but sometimes immediately slaps again right after the hug. Sometimes he even hugs first and then slaps like he thinks its okay since he already hugged and made nice. We noticed he tends to do this more so when he's tired and it's getting close to bedtime. Is there anything else we can do to address this? He understands that he isnt supposed to be doing this because he cries when we tell him not to do it, but it is usually his fake cry. Yesterday I was holding him when he hit me and we were standing in front of the mirror. DS was looking at himself in the mirror and exaggerating his pout and going in for the full effect for his "sad crying face".

DD1 hasn't been too much of a hitter so I may be out of line answering, but I try to follow the Janet Lasbury approach of trying to block as its happening or even if it does happen, holding a hand up and saying "I can't let you hit".  It's supposed to help in showing that you are coming more from a place of protecting him from acting out, and that you are on his side and understand, rather than against him in scolding or lecturing. 

[pandora89]

Feb 19, 2020 13:51:11 GMT -5 Mrs.flang said:

Feb 19, 2020 13:43:48 GMT -5 pandora89 said:

Toddlers and hitting. DS (21 months) has started hitting recently. He doesn't do it at daycare but has no problems smacking people at home if we tell him he isnt supposed to be doing something, doesn't like what we say etc. We have tried being stern, we have told him it hurts/makes us upset/no use your words etc. He always apologizes after and gives us a hug but sometimes immediately slaps again right after the hug. Sometimes he even hugs first and then slaps like he thinks its okay since he already hugged and made nice. We noticed he tends to do this more so when he's tired and it's getting close to bedtime. Is there anything else we can do to address this? He understands that he isnt supposed to be doing this because he cries when we tell him not to do it, but it is usually his fake cry. Yesterday I was holding him when he hit me and we were standing in front of the mirror. DS was looking at himself in the mirror and exaggerating his pout and going in for the full effect for his "sad crying face".

DD1 hasn't been too much of a hitter so I may be out of line answering, but I try to follow the Janet Lasbury approach of trying to block as its happening or even if it does happen, holding a hand up and saying "I can't let you hit".  It's supposed to help in showing that you are coming more from a place of protecting him from acting out, and that you are on his side and understand, rather than against him in scolding or lecturing. 

Thank you! We havent really tried this approach so will give this a shot. 

[dreamcrisp1]

Feb 19, 2020 12:59:50 GMT -5 pandorica said:

We're going to pick up a Cosco Scenera car seat for our upcoming travel. I'm guessing we'll want a cheap travel stroller for our 14 month old too. Any suggestions? Can I pick up an used umbrella stroller or will some of them suck?

We just got the bugaboo ant and it’s amazing. Folds down super smal so I can put it in the overhead. Handle is adjustable and faces both forward and backwards.

[pandorica]

Feb 19, 2020 13:03:28 GMT -5 icedcoffee said:

Feb 19, 2020 12:59:50 GMT -5 pandorica said:

We're going to pick up a Cosco Scenera car seat for our upcoming travel. I'm guessing we'll want a cheap travel stroller for our 14 month old too. Any suggestions? Can I pick up an used umbrella stroller or will some of them suck?

If you're flying the mountain buggy nano has a hack with the Cosco Scenera car seat that makes it easier to schlep through the airport:


sanctuarymama.wordpress.com/2015/09/10/mama-hack-mountain-buggy-nano-and-toddler-car-seat/

Thank you!

[noodleoo]

Feb 19, 2020 14:14:53 GMT -5 al dente said:

Feb 19, 2020 12:49:57 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Anyone have experience with night terrors? DD1 has been having these recently. It is so awful, she "wakes up" screaming and is incoherent and inconsolable. I read that they are not really awake and to just comfort them, but nothing I do seems to help. I have to just wait it out and it is so sad (and honestly frustrating too, just go back to sleep!). Last night I had to sit on DD1's bed for almost 45 mins because she would start crying again anytime I tried to walk away. Any advice on how to deal? Or when she might grow out of it? She'll be 5 in May and this started maybe 1-2 months ago.

My kid was younger and still in a crib, but I had to just leave her alone, and not go in. I caught her on the monitor one night and she went from looking like she was sleeping to just jumped up and started screaming. I gave it a few minutes (like 5 maybe?) and then all of a sudden she just layed right down and went back to sleep. It was super weird.
It had been going on for a little over a week and every time I would go in, but like you said she was totally inconsolable and then would be up for hours and hours with absolutely nothing helping her. But I think me going in was then waking her up kind of but not totally so it was messing her sleep up. It passed really quickly after that and she hasn’t gotten them again.

Hmm, interesting.  So far we've always gone in as she gets up and screams so loud we are afraid she will wake DD2 (and also, we just feel so bad for her!).  One time she sort of suddenly laid down and went back to sleep quickly.  Last night was the longest its ever taken.  maybe we will try waiting 5 mins next time before going in.

andi, thx for your experience too. I hope it passes soon.  

[timorousbeastie]

Feb 19, 2020 11:38:34 GMT -5 hamster said:

C (2) is narrating every moment of his life. It's adorable but exhausting. Will he ever stop? Lol

"Block. Toys. Deano. Deano. Deano. Turn. Orange. Block. Bunny. Mama. Block. Block. All done. Block. Clark. Animal. Lion." Rinse and repeat all.day.long.

Just wait until he figures out how to turn what he’s saying into a song. Some days I feel like I’m living in a musical with DD!

[timorousbeastie]

Feb 19, 2020 13:27:57 GMT -5 Susie said:

DD (4) is generally pretty articulate for her age, but she can't say "breakfast."  It comes out, breffixt.  I can't think of any other words she specifically struggles with.  Will she figure that out on her own or should we be working on correcting her?

DD just turned 6. She has grown out of most of her silly pronunciations on her own, but there are still a few words she can’t say (for example, she says “break-sweat” instead of “breakfast” and “to-jeg-er” instead of “together”). Not saying this is the right answer, but in my opinion it’s too cute to correct 😋 I figure she’ll grow out of it on her own eventually (but then again, my H has a few words he mispronounces (and knows he mispronounces, just can’t help saying it wrong) that drive me nuts; maybe I should intervene before she becomes an adult asking if we would like to have breaksweat tojeger!)

[ohgillian]

Feb 19, 2020 13:27:57 GMT -5 Susie said:

DD (4) is generally pretty articulate for her age, but she can't say "breakfast."  It comes out, breffixt.  I can't think of any other words she specifically struggles with.  Will she figure that out on her own or should we be working on correcting her?

So, my 7 year old says breffixt also....but to be fair, I think it's adorable so I haven't worked with her on it. 

[Mrs.flang]

The recall thread reminded me I had wanted to ask what's the best insulated kids cup? We have a couple of the foogo thermos, but is there anything else that keeps cold longer? I feel like my coffee stays hot in my contigo for longer than their milk stays cold in the foogo.

[melsbels]

One of my 2.5 year olds has had horrible diarrhea for 6 days. He’s been home from daycare all week. DH just took him to the Dr today and while we’ll do a stool sample just to rule out anything bad, the Dr suspects it’s just a GI bug that has to run its course.

Thankfully no fever. We’re keeping him hydrated with pedialyte and water, sticking to a pretty bland diet, and we started some probiotics yesterday to help restore his gut flora. The Dr said we can do small amounts of pepto bismol as well.

He just cries in agony every time he goes, but I don’t think Tylenol/Motrin will do anything in this case? We got an rx for a compound anti-fungal diaper cream because he also has a horrible rash on top of it all ☹️

Anything else I’m not thinking of that might help him?

[pooh8402]

Feb 19, 2020 13:27:57 GMT -5 Susie said:

DD (4) is generally pretty articulate for her age, but she can't say "breakfast."  It comes out, breffixt.  I can't think of any other words she specifically struggles with.  Will she figure that out on her own or should we be working on correcting her?

She'll figure it out. In the meantime, enjoy the cute mispronunciation!

[tacom]

Does anyone have a climbing or indoor/outdoor play toy they recommend? Specifically something that has a bit of longevity and can grow with my son (17 mo).

Trying to discourage climbing / attempts to run on our couch after an unexpected visit to the pedi this morning 🤦‍♀️