Tell me this shall pass and we will come out the other side.
My 2.75 year old is not sleeping and waking the whole house up. We have gone through some pretty big transitions.
-Both kids sleeping great -November moved (same town, same schools) from 4 br to a 2br -2.75 yr old now shares bedroom with 6.5 yr old -Initially sleep was a problem when we first moved. Chalked it up to the move/transition -Sleep became better for everyone (no MOTN wake ups) -Younger one early wake-ups begin (re-inforce sleep to wake clock) -Still a struggle with early wake-ups -Slightly better -February 2 we took off front of crib to make it into toddler bed -Wake ups at night are hit or miss -February 8th potty training weekend -Since then, Middle of the night wake-ups for all different excuses (fix blanket, belly hurts, feet hurt, back hurts, need to pee, hand me stuffed animal). Typically she will start with requesting these from the older kid, then obvi she gets frustrated (sometimes does it sometimes yells for us). Then we are all up and mad. Last few nights we counted 7 times having to go in there.
We are all frustrated, tired. Please send help!
***Update- This is still happening every damn night. Should we put the crib front back on? Do cry it out? Or is she doing this because she is anxious in some way and we are not being supportive if we CIO? I cannot find a way for her to sleep even if we snuggle. I am about to lose my mind.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Feb 20, 2020 16:30:59 GMT -5
Once kids were out of cribs, my MO has always been that during the day, at a time when we're calm, we sit down and explain our expectations for their behavior for overnight (IE, you can get up to go to the bathroom if you NEED to, but more than once a night is likely you playing around etc., and you can only take something to bed that you can handle dealing with yourself...so if you wake me up because you dropped your stuffed animal and don't want to get out of bed to get it yourself, then the next night you aren't allowed to take that stuffed animal to bed). We let them know what the consequences will be if they don't follow expectations (this depends on kid, have to find what works for them). And then at night, the first time they wake us up, we remind them of the expectation and the consequence and tell them they will get it if they wake us again, and then for all subsequent wake ups we deal with it super nanny style and just silently walk them back to bed and ignore everything until they get it.
I would find somewhere for your older child to sleep during this 'retraining' period so they aren't constantly woken up by it. And then once your little one is not waking you up anymore, I'd make sure to tell your older one that if they give in and go to your younger one overnight instead of ignoring, the bad habits will start all over again, so they have to ignore it just like you.
I agree with expectantsteelerfan and reviewing the expectations and consequences to their actions. You might also consider positive reinforcement (praise, dollar tree type toys).
Post by starryfish on Feb 20, 2020 18:15:30 GMT -5
I got this trick from this board. But to eliminate middle of the night or early wake ups, she gets a chocolate chip if she doesn’t call or cry for me. Worked pretty well for us
Is she worried she will wet the bed?? Looking at the connection to potty training. Would telling her she can wear special bedtime underwear just in case help (pull-ups)? She should still try to stay dry, but if she has an accident at night it's okay? Just a random theory.
Also would try rules and a reward chart. I.e. If you don't wake us up/only wake us one time?, you get a sticker. first time=prize. Then three in a row=prize, or whatever structure you want.
Maybe also she gets tickets...one ticket/night she can use if needed to wake you up. Or two, and then reward her with different prizes for the tickets remaining at end of week?
I could have written this post (except for the room sharing part.)
We moved (including new daycacre), then kiddo got sick. So sleep sucked and we gave in with lots of cuddles because we wanted to make him feel better and less anxious. But then we created a monster who needed us with him to go to sleep, or if he woke in the night, etc.
We finally did one weekend of full cry it out again and that solved the problems.
Is she worried she will wet the bed?? Looking at the connection to potty training. Would telling her she can wear special bedtime underwear just in case help (pull-ups)? She should still try to stay dry, but if she has an accident at night it's okay? Just a random theory.
Also would try rules and a reward chart. I.e. If you don't wake us up/only wake us one time?, you get a sticker. first time=prize. Then three in a row=prize, or whatever structure you want.
Maybe also she gets tickets...one ticket/night she can use if needed to wake you up. Or two, and then reward her with different prizes for the tickets remaining at end of week?
She wears a pull up to bed and we told her that sleep is more important than going to the potty at night and she's wearing a pull up so she won't get wet.
I brought out the sticker chart again which has 5 categories, 1 being stay in bed until the light turns green and not calling for us. Hasn't earned that one yet.
shauni27 , Thanks! CIO worked for both my kids when they were babies. I guess that's what we will be trying.
Also, we are doing potty training and he has definitely been waking in the night a bit more, which everything I have read says is normal. I would not make another change like adding the crib rail back on--stick with what you have been doing, maybe a little more patience with the night wakings, but in general, be firm and stick with your rules.
Example: I know S is having a tougher time because he is potty training and there is usually a little sleep regression with that. So instead of full cry it out I instead go in and give some comfort but then say, "you can do this, you are ok, I love you" etc and then I am out the door. He is crying sometimes, but he knows he was not abandoned on anything.
Post by gerberdaisy on Feb 28, 2020 13:48:25 GMT -5
I'm sorry. My son is about the same age, but still in a crib. He's getting better, but still not a great sleeper.
Was there a reason you went to the toddler bed? Was she getting out? Maybe she isn't quite ready and would like the security of the crib?
Every night before bed we talk about what to do if he wakes up in the middle of the night, go back to bed. I'm not coming in and we are not going downstairs (he wants a snack, watch mickey mouse). His sister is in the room, so we try to talk about how she needs to sleep and nothing to be scared of, they are in the room together and I'm next door.
That being said, he now says, mommy not coming in tonight, I call daddy. The immediately calls for H to come and rock him for a minute. Has helped overnight though.
All my sympathies though, its hard! I still wake up some nights thinking I hear him and can't go back to sleep.
I am guessing you have the basics - nightlight, white noise or music, stuffed animal or blanket?
When my kids woke up they tended to come to get me rather than call out so I just walked them back to bed and told them it was night night time. Told them to hug their bear if they were scared and I’d see them in the morning. Both were up more right after potty training.
My kids now like to sleep in the same bed - if your older is willing that might be an option and make your younger feel ok?