Moms Night In

[HitchedIn2006]

Are you in my town? 😂 cause this is what I need!

Seriously wine and no kids for a bit to meet other moms... yes! I’m not a big massage person, so I’d skip that, especially if the point is for the ladies to connect and make friendship.

Maybe an art/craft thing to do? Decorate a wine glass? Please don’t feel as though one has to provide more than companionship and a snack at an event like this during an evening in your home.

[7costanza]

I would love this but also be skeptical that it was a front for a MLM sales pitch, so you might want to make it very clear that it’s purpose is just socializing. I would probably skip the chair massage, because it’s hard to chat while getting one but if you’re wanting to include some pampering, maybe have a nail tech to do express manicures and/or pedicures.

[sunflower17]

I’d like something like this. No real need for anything but some snacks and wine. Maybe a little craft or put out something kind of mindless like a puzzle or Jenga to give people something to break the ice with.
I agree with pp to let people know it’s just for socializing. I’m also rather new to my area with no family etc and Everything I’m invited to seems to be wine and buy my products which I do not attend because I don’t like feeling obligated to purchase anything.

[ellipses84]

Snacks and wine are all you need, particularly for the first one. You could have some sort of icebreakers prepared, like go around the room and say your name and a funny reason your kid has been crying lately, or something like that. I’d be self conscious about a chair massage, although I guess you could have it set up in the other room.

My neighborhood mom’s group has started doing similar (we do more mom’s night out events than mom and kid events 😂). We got the local coffee shop/bakery to stay open for dinner time for a private event and it’s like $10 for coffee and a sandwich or pasty and they let us BYOWine. We set up the tables like one big long table and have everyone get up and swap seats half way through so you get to talk to different people. A lot of us have kids at the same schools but hadn’t interacted a lot, but now I occasionally run into them at dropoff or pickup.

They’ve also done swap events at people’s houses, like bring all the fashion jewelry you don’t wear anymore (and come even if you just want to hang out and not swap.)

[brooklyn]

I would love to go to something like this! Definitely make it clear you’re not peddling mlms at it. Depending on how many people are there, I don’t think 5-10minute express massages are a bad idea.

[boiler717]

I really don’t think you need more than wine and snacks! Just make sure you have one friend who is good and bringing people into conversation and you are set.
I agree about making it clear it’s not a MLM.

[cricketwife]

I’d love this!!! I would also skip the chair massages. I love massages but that would feel weird to me, though I can’t exactly say why.

[brooke77]

I would love this! I agree that all you need are wine and snacks. If you have any sort of planned activity it will feel less casual and people will feel more obligated to stay the whole time or skip out altogether. And it sounds like you want it to be a more casual thing. For example, my town’s working mom group does a monthly meetup, but I can almost never go because it will be at a sip and paint type place that has a start time at 7 and I can’t go and feel weird going in late.

I would so love something like this just saying stop by anytime from 6-8 to enjoy wine and apps and meet other moms in town! So fun!

[VillainV]

Ditto wine and snacks. If you start doing it regularly maybe you could ask people to brings apps/desserts pot-luck style.

I was recently invited to an afternoon event like this and was so excited until I learned it was all for people to peddle their MLM crap and I was really bummed. From the comments, it sounds like that’s pretty common, so I think it would be nice to emphasize that that’s NOT what you’re doing!

[farfalla2011]

This is a great idea! I agree with pp saying to be sure to have a friend who is great at conversation there to help the night along. I love a good massage, but I think I'd skip it. If you guys get a good established group that gets together often, I'd bring it up, but not for a first gathering.

Also, if several of the ladies have been in the area a little while and dont have a bunch of friends, it may be personality driven so don't be bummed if some don't show up to one, but if you keep doing it, keep inviting. I myself am an introvert, so while I have a high desire to meet other moms around me, I have to be in the right frame of mind to make myself go. It's a lot of mental effort to attend and try to get to know people you've never met.

[CloudBee]

Some of my best evenings with friends are spent at home, in lounge clothes, eating brownies and playing a boardgames or doing some adult coloring. I honestly think these days we don't open our homes up to others often enough. An old friend of mine once said "people feel more comfortable when a home appears to be lived." That really hit me. It's allowed me to feel more comfortable having random laundry baskets out, dishes in the sink, and piles of mail scattered on the counter when guests come over.

I've hosted a clothing swap, but at the end of the night someone is left having to lug everything away.

Here are a few more ideas of solo or group activities I've done with women at my house:
- cook together (I have one friend who can't cook, so I've given her some tips)
- fondue (cheese and chocolate)
- hot chocolate, treats, and address Christmas cards together
- adult coloring
- boardgames
- movie and snacks
- hot tub
- sit on the deck and eat cheese & chat
- absolutely no plans, they've just shown up & we visit / snack
- bring an app & bring a friend none of us know (I did this about 8-10 yrs ago and it was a blast, I should do it again)

[imojoebunny]

I have done this a number of times over the years to introduce people to each other. The easiest and most successful was a wine and cheese tasting. I had about 20 women come, and bring a wine or a cheese. I provided crackers and fruit. For that one, I did do a sign up, but it was general, so something like 5 whites, 5 reds, 3 soft cheeses, 4 hard cheeses, and 3 other types. I stashed some cheap $3 buck chuck, so when the 1st ten bottles ran out, we had some extra. It started at 7 and went until around 1am, which is way to late for me, but a sign everyone had a good time.

I went to a get together this week, where we had a local author come, who lives in our area, and talk about her book. It was really fun, but people would have to read a book, so there is that. I have, also, been to craft nights where people bring their own crafts (knitting, cross stitch, embroidery) and work on them while they chat, and some where there is one craft and we all did it (you could do something like a simple spring door decoration or hand embroider dish towels (if your interested in that one, I can tell you how to do it, it is cheap, easy and fun.) I have, also, done an ice cream Sunday making party when there are not so many people who want to drink, and have been thinking about doing a "how to blend your own tea" party, where I would get all the stuff for people to mix their own tea blends, and they can make their own tea mix to take home. We have a farmer's market that sells the individual ingredients for not very much, you mix it in jars, and you can buy empty tea bags to put it in. You could do the same with homemade hot chocolate, by providing coco, sugar, and powdered milk, and adding special things like coconut, cinnamon, cardamon, ect, but I have only done that one with teens.

I have had the best luck making connections that last, keeping it to a specific group of people who already have at least one thing in common, like kids in the same school, neighborhood ladies, or some other connected interest.

[nicolewi]

Oh my gosh, I would love to be invited to something like this! I would just want snacks, drinks, and mingling. THat's all you need, really. I would NOT like the "go around and answer an icebreaker question" activity, though. I would say just have it like a loose happy hour. Sounds fun!

[expectantsteelerfan]

My neighbor invited me over for a very casual 'wine and snacks' night with other women in the neighborhood, and even though I have social anxiety and I didn't know any of the other people going, I went and was really glad I did. I have trouble making friends as an adult and often wish I had more CLOSE friends (rather than just acquaintances), the kind I'd feel comfortable inviting to go with me to movies, coffee/dessert dates, dress shopping for an upcoming event, etc. My book club has kinda gotten close enough for this, so we often do nights out/in together along with the monthly book club, and I love that, but I'd like to expand my friend group to include more people from my town (there's only 1 other member in book club from my town, others are from neighboring towns).

I would also skip the massage chair thingy as it would add more pressure and make it less casual in my opinion (and people might worry you're trying to sell something, those kind of get togethers are the worst, esp when you aren't told up front that it is that).

[hocus2]

My birthday brunch was basically this. DH took the kids out and I invited about 20 women over. It was really lovely. There was no activity just food and beverages. Someone brought a 4 month old and that was fun.

[DarcyLongfellow]

That's a great idea!

A friend of mine hosts "girls night ins" fairly regularly. Sometimes she has large events with up to 30 people, but sometimes she just invites a handful of us over. It's always very casual. I mean, when she invites like 5 of us, I literally show up in my pajamas (well, I put a sports bra on with my t-shirt and yoga pants).

I'd skip the massages. If you're trying to foster connections between people, people having to excuse themselves to go over to get a massage doesn't facilitate that. Plus, people can be awkward about doing that in front of people. Maybe save that idea for when people know each other better.

I don't think you need anything other than some snacks/wine/non-alcoholic drinks (La Croix or similar). If you wanted to have some board games or puzzles set out, people could do that if they wanted.

[loira]

I would love to go to something like this. I've really struggled with making friends here, and my H does the preschool drop off and pickup so I don't even talk to other parents much. My 1 friend here has no kids, which is actually more convenient for trying to get together but I completely lucked out with how we met. Would love to make some new friends (mums or not).

[edwardo123]

Bunco is really fun. I've gotten to know many of my closest friends in moms group through a monthly Bunco night. Since you are constantly moving tables, it allows you to eventually talk to everyone.

[redpenmama]

Yes! I have been invited to these off and on over the years and have always enjoyed them. My neighbor did one last fall with a massage chair and it was sort of awkward ... not many people actually wanted to do the massage but felt obligated to because she was there. That's may be specific to that group, though.

If it is popular, you could even take turns hosting monthly/every other month. This is something I'd like to start up again because it's easy and a nice way to connect with friends without a bunch of kids around.

[dcn]

We do these in my neighborhood occasionally (and we have monthly bunco) and they are fun! We live on a military base so this is basically how I meet people other than at the playground.

[minzy]

Feb 22, 2020 13:32:02 GMT -5 edwardo123 said:

Bunco is really fun. I've gotten to know many of my closest friends in moms group through a monthly Bunco night. Since you are constantly moving tables, it allows you to eventually talk to everyone.

I was going to suggest this, too. I am in no way passionate about Bunco, but I’m in an established group that meets monthly and it’s like it’s own little society. The meetings have a set order and cadence - there’s a dozen of us so we each host once a year, the host provides heavy apps before we start and dessert during “halftime.” Even if you only play one night, across 24 games (if you play all the way through), you will rotate and talk with everybody.

Art workshops are big here for a night out, but maybe you do smaller canvases yourself if you want to do an activity? Or you could do like my last gathering and talk about climate change 😛, but I realize that may not be for everyone...

[mbcdefg]

I would appreciate being invited to something like this.

I’ve never played Bunco, but I’d be grateful for an activity or a casual game to keep me busy and allow me to interact with people. I’m really awkward and don’t make friends easily, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at a party or social gathering where everyone else pairs off/joins a group and I’m just standing there alone like an idiot (even after trying to join in). I’d like an activity where we were put into organized groups, rather than having to form groups on our own.

I do like chair massages a lot, but I’d feel a little weird doing it at a social gathering. And ditto the person who said that it might make people think it’s an MLM party where they’re expected to buy stuff.

I’d happily bring a bottle of wine, appetizer, cheese, or dessert if the hostess asked for it as part of a potluck or whatever.

[swiftlyirun]

I love this idea!

My group of friends has done bunco before and loved it and we also do “favorite things” parties seasonally. I.e. “Fall Favorite Things” and everyone brings 3 of the same thing of their favorite “fall” item under $10/item and you leave with 3 different fun fall items. It’s a good icebreaker.

However, just a good excuse to snack and drink wine is all I need.

[minniemouse]

I would love something like this,as long as it didn’t get cliquey. I hate going to events where I only know the host and the other guests are not friendly.
I would not do the massages, I think that would be a little awkward.

[notsopicky]

I would love to be invited to something like what you're suggesting. I used to play in a bowling league once a week, and I loved it. Then I (elbow) and my bowling captain/league mgr (knee) got injured (separately, lol), plus the bowling alley closed, so the league disbanded.

I don't know how to play Bunco, but I've seen it on Housewives! LOL

My mom plays Mah-Jong (she's 70+) once a month in her community, and she says she likes the interaction with people in her neighborhood.

[larzhope]

I would also like something like this. it's hard to get out of the house and having something specific like this would be a great excuse. I'm an awkward panda so some wine and organized activity vs just socializing if I don't know anyone else would be appreciated.

[imojoebunny]

Feb 22, 2020 21:00:10 GMT -5 notsopicky said:

I would love to be invited to something like what you're suggesting. I used to play in a bowling league once a week, and I loved it. 

I forgot about bowling club, we are a club, not a league.  It is so much fun.  Do it 2X a month during the school year, with between 4 and 8 people.  Anyone can invite someone new, some people stick, and others just come occasionally.  It is really a nice, low pressure, activity.  Even our favorite, can't get her out of the house, total introvert always shows, since she gets to move away from the group when it is her bowl, and she can sit somewhere else, if she wants a quieter space.  Two of the people have become really close friends, over the 3 years we have been doing it, and a few others, I really enjoy.  

[atarianna]

The most fun moms night in I have ever gone to was something called a nickel auction, but for total disclosure, I am a dork.

Basically, you bring spare change and stuff from around your house you had planned to give away anyways. You have 10 minutes to sell your stuff. Bidding starts at a nickel and goes up in 5¢ increments. As dorky as it sounds, it’s really fun! Also, wine and appetizers!

Think things like makeup tried once, kids clothes, throw pillow(s), wall clock, kitchen junk, really anything.

You get rid of junk you had planned to offload anyways and your friends might find something they had needed to buy anyways.

Someone keeps a pad of paper and tracks how much people owe and after each person finishes their 10 minutes, you send a cup around to collect their change.

Anything not purchased gets donated anyways.

[minzy]

turbo I just want to reiterate the plug for a swap. The climate crisis motivates the hell out of me and I have found that most moms our age aren’t sitting around thinking about this stuff, yet we literally have skin in the game with our kids. So I’ve tried to talk about sustainability with people I know. You can do it, too. You don’t even have to challenge people to stop buying newly manufactured clothes for some length of time or say super blunt things like “the clothing industry is responsible for 10% of annual global carbon emissions, more than all international flights and maritime shipping combined” (WorldBank) or that it takes 2700 liters (713 gallons) of water to produce the cotton for a single t-shirt (WWF). You can just initiate a swap because it’s fun. 😁 A bonus is that if someone with your social standing does it, it helps normalize the practice of reduced consumption and increase the thoughts of a circular economy. Or so I tell myself!

Ok, I’m done now. 😂 Happy gathering, whatever you do!

[sent]

I really like the sound of this, I want to host one in house! I'd just do wine & apps. I might try it this summer.