I’m so sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray for all of you.
If your H mentions being upset that she passed when he stepped out, please tell them that happens often. I firmly believe that people have a lot more control over their passing than we think. It was likely her last opportunity to “protect” him from that heartbreaking moment. I hope he’s able to see it as her final gift, not that he wasn’t there...but that may take time.
I told him that. my Gram passed after my mom took over for my Uncle, her baby, went home. I definitely think him being there mattered. He was able to tell her that we are doing much better which made her very happy and how much he loves her.
I can still remember the first time I met them and she told me how H was her miracle baby. his middle sister has DS and while as a doctor she knew she had done nothing wrong, having him helped heal her a lot. So, even if she could not always express that perfectly to him, I know how special he was to her.
Ugh so many hugs. My stomach dropped when i saw your update. So sorry.
Edit: a good family friend passed away from als a few years ago, and it sounds like your mil went in a very peaceful, natural way surrounded by those she loves. It is the absolute best thing that could have happened. I saw my friend just hours before she died and know how heartbreaking it is to see someone in that stage. It sucks. I am really glad she had family like you in her corner during her final days.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your MIL, and for your husband's loss of his mother. I will pray for your family and your FIL.
With regard to your H not being with her at the time of her passing, I think for many dying people there is a real peace when they have seen and been with their loved ones, and then when the loved ones step out for a bit, the dying person has their sense of real peace and it's time to go. I hope your H can come, in time, to see those moments for his mom in a sweet place. It seems very motherly to me to make sure your kids and everybody are okay, and then just quietly to let go. Like a parent whispering one last "good night" at their child's bedroom door as the child is drifting off to sleep.
I'm sorry for your loss, Cleo. It seems like her passing was mostly peaceful, in a place she loved and with the full knowledge of how much her family loved her. Wishing you all some peace today.
I'm sorry for your loss, Cleo. It seems like her passing was mostly peaceful, in a place she loved and with the full knowledge of how much her family loved her. Wishing you all some peace today.
It was definitely peaceful. I do think over night she was struggling, which is terrible to think about too much, but this morning she was calmer. The nurses came and cleaned her up and put clothes on her and were just really good to her and the family.
They will pick up his middle sister at some point to tell her and then the oldest arrives mid-week.
We’ve got this in our future. FIL was diagnosed this fall with ALS, and my mom has a cousin diagnosis of Parkinson’s. Still trying to get my mind wrapped around FILs diagnosis, as we don’t see him as much. The loss of motor function in both of them is hard to watch.
mrspez07, I am so sorry. It has been rough. She was immediately diagnosed with Bulbar (so speech, swallowing and breathing) nearly two years ago, though symptoms started the prior fall. She was quite stubborn and a fighter, which I think worked well in her favor in some ways and not so much in others (in terms of not taking advantage of things to help her communicate betters, etc). I think the cruelest part of the whole thing is that your cognition stays intact and quite sharp. Plus she was a doctor, so her knowledge just made things very hard. I am happy to know, that while her night was a little hard, her morning turned peaceful.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad your DH was able to be there for her and your FIL, say goodbye and give support. I'm also glad her morning was peaceful.
Post by Leeham Rimes on Feb 24, 2020 12:12:12 GMT -5
I’m so sorry Cleo. Sending your family a giant hug. ❤️
My MIL passed in a similar way (though not from ALS) she had a really good day after some bad bad ones, and then passed less than 48 hours later. It was so hard at the time but looking back, it was so nice to have that last moment.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I’m so sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray for all of you.
If your H mentions being upset that she passed when he stepped out, please tell them that happens often. I firmly believe that people have a lot more control over their passing than we think. It was likely her last opportunity to “protect” him from that heartbreaking moment. I hope he’s able to see it as her final gift, not that he wasn’t there...but that may take time.
and lilac05, I agree so much with what you said about people controlling when they leave us. They know better than we do, as we are usually grieving so much, and they can see what we need.
spindle92, I agree. I took and Death and Dying class years ago that was fascinating. Children, in particular, will hold on till their parents say it is ok to stop. They are so concerned for them, it is amazing.