How are you doing?

[doriswe]

tiramisu, uhhhh….4 dates? Spill the tea, lady!!

[tiramisu]

Mar 19, 2020 15:09:48 GMT -5 doriswe said:

tiramisu, uhhhh….4 dates? Spill the tea, lady!!

He's in special education, working sort of as an administrator and also a supervisor of teachers, but he used to be a teacher. We've worked with similar populations and in similar settings, so we get each other's work to a certain extent. He's kind and considerate. He's 48 and definitely looks older than I do, I'm not sure how attracted I am to him physically yet, but I really enjoy spending time with him and am giving attraction time to grow. We met on Match.

There are multiple other men flirting with me lately. A lot. I don't know if it's that I'm just becoming more aware or if it's happening more.

[mags]

tiramisu he sounds very sweet

[tiramisu]

Mar 19, 2020 16:59:30 GMT -5 mags said:

tiramisu he sounds very sweet

He is.

Are you still feeling sore? How's your healing coming along?

[mags]

Mar 19, 2020 18:45:57 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

Mar 19, 2020 16:59:30 GMT -5 mags said:

tiramisu he sounds very sweet

He is.

Are you still feeling sore? How's your healing coming along?

Each day I feel better! still sore around stitch sites. Im still starving...day11 no food

[AdaraMarie]

downtoearth
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much right now. I have been where you are without the pandemic and it must be so much harder now.

[downtoearth]

Mar 19, 2020 21:56:10 GMT -5 AdaraMarie said:

downtoearth
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much right now. I have been where you are without the pandemic and it must be so much harder now.

Thanks - I know so many divorced parents have been here. I think I just needed to vent. Those moments are really tough, but then I posted here, texted with friends, worked out, visited my parents, and spent the evening with my person. Today feels much better. I just think my transition away from the kids is really still hard - every Wednesday is tough and for some reason it lingered this week with all this other stuff and work stress too. Thanks for understanding. I am trying to not be disappointed that I'm still here in this healing spot instead of "passed" it. I wish it was faster to gain a new life after your vision and dreams surrounding your last one imploded.

[downtoearth]

Mar 19, 2020 19:34:04 GMT -5 mags said:

Mar 19, 2020 18:45:57 GMT -5 tiramisu said:

He is.

Are you still feeling sore? How's your healing coming along?

Each day I feel better! still sore around stitch sites. Im still starving...day11 no food

How many days do you go? It's so your new smaller stomach can heal? I assume you are on protein drinks or something to get you through, right? That is some serious meditation to have gone that long already. I knew someone who did that in the early 2000's at a job I was at, but when she came back she was only drinking small ounces of liquids (broth and juice), not very much. I don't remember how long she did that before having solids. 

[doriswe]

tiramisu, he sounds nice!

[chalupa]

I reamed out my parents last night by phone. It seems my sister (the one with the May wedding) came down to stay with them, with all her bridesmaids, as a bachelorette trip. What the actual fluck? They all hopped on planes and brought germs to my retiree parents, stayed for 4 days, and none of them see anything wrong with this.


This is the sister who finishes med school in May, btw. Apparently she really could have used a rotation in the Infections Diseases wing. 

ETA: Same sister just posted her match day results...standing under a banner with about 10 fellow students. While I feel terrible that the typical match day celebrations have been canceled, WTF to every one of those students. Shouldn't about-to-be-doctors know better?

[gault]

mags did you also have bariatric surgery? Message me if you want to commiserate! I had it on 2/18. Lots of hugs, you'll get through the liquid phase!

[doglove]

Wow chalupa !

[tiramisu]

OMG chalupa that's ridiculous! How insensitive.


doriswe he is really nice. I'm starting to think that this may not work out in the long run (I think he's done having kids), but he's really been very sweet so far.

mags you can do this! That's a long time to go, but I know you're tough.


One thing I didn't think about until yesterday with all of this is that people may end up having health issues pop up unrelated to COVID-19 because of the cancellation of other medical care. I was supposed to have a colposcopy on the 27th (soonest I could get it scheduled) and it's been cancelled. I pointed out that cancer screenings seem pretty important (even though my pap results were the same so it's likely nothing has progressed from last year) and was told they've been instructed to only see clients on an emergency basis.

[mags]

Mar 20, 2020 12:36:11 GMT -5 gault said:

mags did you also have bariatric surgery? Message me if you want to commiserate! I had it on 2/18. Lots of hugs, you'll get through the liquid phase!

No, I had a Nissen fundoplication for a hernia, actually a bariatric surgeon did it, somehow my stomach was attached to my liver due to scar tissue (I think) so I used a bariatric guy.

I am actually following the same post op diet as sleeve patients, and it sucks shit. I'm only on week two.


I thinks its great that you had the surgery!!! So, you are on week 4 diet? 

My friend lost 110 pounds, they set a goal of 60 and she has doubled it. She just had her 2 year bariversary!

[Shreddingbetty]

Mar 20, 2020 12:06:48 GMT -5 chalupa said:

I reamed out my parents last night by phone. It seems my sister (the one with the May wedding) came down to stay with them, with all her bridesmaids, as a bachelorette trip. What the actual fluck? They all hopped on planes and brought germs to my retiree parents, stayed for 4 days, and none of them see anything wrong with this.


This is the sister who finishes med school in May, btw. Apparently she really could have used a rotation in the Infections Diseases wing. 

ETA: Same sister just posted her match day results...standing under a banner with about 10 fellow students. While I feel terrible that the typical match day celebrations have been canceled, WTF to every one of those students. Shouldn't about-to-be-doctors know better?

I work at a residency program and my boss (who is also my friend) canceled her original spring break plans but then booked flights to California instead....wtf. She ended up not going but only as of 2 days ago because CA is on lockdown basically. She is still wanting to go somewhere in state, just stay home for crying out loud and spend time with your kids. Just because they are doctors doesn’t mean they always make smart decisions or follow the rules. 

[Shreddingbetty]

Mar 20, 2020 9:58:30 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

Mar 19, 2020 21:56:10 GMT -5 AdaraMarie said:

downtoearth
I'm sorry that you're struggling so much right now. I have been where you are without the pandemic and it must be so much harder now.

Thanks - I know so many divorced parents have been here. I think I just needed to vent. Those moments are really tough, but then I posted here, texted with friends, worked out, visited my parents, and spent the evening with my person. Today feels much better. I just think my transition away from the kids is really still hard - every Wednesday is tough and for some reason it lingered this week with all this other stuff and work stress too. Thanks for understanding. I am trying to not be disappointed that I'm still here in this healing spot instead of "passed" it. I wish it was faster to gain a new life after your vision and dreams surrounding your last one imploded.

It was really tough for me to give up my kid 50% of the time considering I did 99% of the parenting from birth until I moved out when she was 8. I still wish it was not 50/50 but I also admit that I actual really like to have my own time as well because I really haven’t had any since she was born. I’ve learned to let go as I know she likes to send time with her dad especially since he really wasn’t present during our marriage. It sounds like you stay busy when you’re alone so that’s good. My counselor told me more than once before I got divorced that I should take time to just sit with my feeling as I also had a tendency to stay busy or be on the go and it was partially to just not have to deal (as in feel) all the stuff that was going on. 
An of course these are extraordinary circumstances so I get that you feel a little lost without them. 

[Shreddingbetty]

I’m not struggling with this covid thing in particular although it isn’t helping. I got divorced end of 2018 and i have zero regrets about that. I’m much better off by myself. But I have found that my relationships with my friends seem to be changing a lot and it makes me kind of sad. I don’t have family in this country so I really rely on my friends. But now that I’m single things are different. And I only have a few close friends which makes it tougher. I don’t seem to be included as much anymore since I don’t have my kid all the time anymore and I see them much less at school as I don’t pick up every day anymore. I had to pick up my kid after work at one of their houses and they always like to poke fun at me for wanting to hang out too long and that kid of hurt especially since I haven’t seen them much at all these last few weeks ad I like to hang out with them (my 2 BFF were already hanging out). I know the 2 years before the divorce I spent a lot of time with them because I didn’t want to be at home and they were a great support (my ex went to rehab at the beginning of those 2 years so it was a really tough two years). But now every time I see them they make some crack about it the minute I walk in and it actually made me kid of mad because I have seen them so little he last several weeks/months. I enjoy being alone but I also want to be with my friends from time to time. And probably part of it is that they’re just busy with their families and my lifestyle is changing a bit. I mean I’m fine financially but I’ve never really been a spender and now that Im single i can’t just spend money like they do (like doing ski weekends or cruises). I refuse to keep up with the Jones’ so to speak. I technically could but it doesn’t fit with my long term financial goals as my income will drop dramatically in 5 years once alimony is done so I don’t want to blow a bunch of money (I go back to Europe every summer to see friends and family so that’s where my vacation money is going mostly). And I don’t really care so much that I can’t do these ski weekends and such, I just want to hang out from time to time here in town. and of course none of my friends are single. On top of that it is really hard to find new friends where I live (my friends are mostly my kids friends moms). I had just had counseling a couple of weeks ago and we had talked about this and trying to find activités to put myself out there and meet new people (again, where I live this is easier said than done) and then this whole corona virus thing happens and we can’t do anything any more.
I have zero regrets getting divorced as I was pretty alone during my marriage so not like I had much company from my ex and I’m missing that but I wasn’t really expecting my relationships with my friends to change like they have. It’s almost like they’re also a little jealous that I’m single and can now kind of do whatever I want (which is nothing crazy or extravagant at all other than having a young FWB in Europe that I’ve had some fun with especially this past year). I have no desire to date at this point, or at least not actively look for someone (if I happen to meet someone and we hit it off I’d be open to it). I’ve been in a relationship for 28 years straight from the age of 18 between the 2 marriages so I really jus need to be single for a while. But a lot of people feel like I should be interested because apparently there is something wrong with just wanting to be single.
Anyway, so I guess that’s been sort of my struggle these last few months. And as much as I think we really need to be on lockdown I’m also dreading it because it will mean even less interaction with my friends. At least I’m lucky that I have a job in medicine so at least I don’t have to worry about not having a pay check so I’m thankful for that. My life doesn’t suck at all and There aren’t plenty of things to be grateful for. But the friend thing has me kind of bummed out as good friends are hard to come by here.

[gault]

Mar 20, 2020 16:42:00 GMT -5 mags said:

Mar 20, 2020 12:36:11 GMT -5 gault said:

mags did you also have bariatric surgery? Message me if you want to commiserate! I had it on 2/18. Lots of hugs, you'll get through the liquid phase!

No, I had a Nissen fundoplication for a hernia, actually a bariatric surgeon did it, somehow my stomach was attached to my liver due to scar tissue (I think) so I used a bariatric guy.

I am actually following the same post op diet as sleeve patients, and it sucks shit. I'm only on week two.


I thinks its great that you had the surgery!!! So, you are on week 4 diet? 

My friend lost 110 pounds, they set a goal of 60 and she has doubled it. She just had her 2 year bariversary!

Ugh that sounds awful. I'm really glad you were able to have the surgery before the shit hit the fan.

I just graduated to soft foods! On week 5 and will be eating soft foods until may, probably. I can only eat a half cup at a time so its not like I'm hungry all the time (which would be awful, you're doing this without the new tummy so i feel for you! Rough stuff). But, things taste different. Some things that taste great one day are overwhelming the next.

Overall I've lost about 35 pounds since surgery so that feels great and my body thanks me already.

[mags]

Mar 23, 2020 11:14:47 GMT -5 gault said:

Mar 20, 2020 16:42:00 GMT -5 mags said:

No, I had a Nissen fundoplication for a hernia, actually a bariatric surgeon did it, somehow my stomach was attached to my liver due to scar tissue (I think) so I used a bariatric guy.

I am actually following the same post op diet as sleeve patients, and it sucks shit. I'm only on week two.


I thinks its great that you had the surgery!!! So, you are on week 4 diet? 

My friend lost 110 pounds, they set a goal of 60 and she has doubled it. She just had her 2 year bariversary!

Ugh that sounds awful. I'm really glad you were able to have the surgery before the shit hit the fan.

I just graduated to soft foods! On week 5 and will be eating soft foods until may, probably. I can only eat a half cup at a time so its not like I'm hungry all the time (which would be awful, you're doing this without the new tummy so i feel for you! Rough stuff). But, things taste different. Some things that taste great one day are overwhelming the next.

Overall I've lost about 35 pounds since surgery so that feels great and my body thanks me already.

You are about 2-3 weeks ahead of me! 35lbs is amazing! I heard it can change your tastes of certain foods. My friend is now a fresh fruit junkie and never really ate so much before.
Today I can add soft fish and potatoes woohoo but only 2 0z. I am dying for crunchy salty!!! I need some textured in my mouth (no comments folks lol)