Post by supertrooper1 on Mar 19, 2020 11:50:32 GMT -5
@@@ trigger warning
I'm heartbroken right now. Beau's 25 year old son was found dead on Monday evening at his apartment. There is no cause of death yet, but it doesn't look like self harm or foul play. The medical examiner said that he probably fell asleep and never woke up. I took 2 days off work to be with beau and I'll head back to his place tonight after work. He has a ton of family support and I've been able to run errands and get food for everyone. It's added a layer of challenge with the stores being out of stock of so much and not being able to go out to eat. He's making arrangements today, but I don't know if he's going to be able to hold a funeral any time soon.
I feel so bad for beau. I know he's hurting and blaming himself even though there was nothing he could do. My brother passed away 23 years ago and I still know my dad blames himself even though there was nothing more he could have done either. He was such a nice kid and was expecting his first child in September with his girlfriend.
If you have any advice on what more I can do for beau, please give me suggestions. I've been making sure he's eating and drinking and has what he needs, but he has a caretaker personality and is trying to care for everyone else. He won't ask for help. I think right now just making sure he has the basics and being there for him is all I can do.
supertrooper1 - I’m so sorry to hear this. Terribly sad.
I would say just keep doing what you’re doing, and follow beau’s lead. Let him know you’re there if he wants to talk, cry, etc., but don’t push him. Just knowing you’re there is a huge comfort to him.
Take care of yourself as well. I’m thinking of you both.
Oh supertrooper1, I am so sorry. That's heartbreaking. I would just keep showing up and bringing food whenever you can. Are there other "household" type duties you could take on while he handles all of this?
Post by supertrooper1 on Mar 19, 2020 16:50:55 GMT -5
Thank you all for your kind words and advice.
Right now it does seem like food and errands are the only things I can do other than just being with him. His other son and his girlfriend live at his house, so the girlfriend has been doing the little household things (although I did buy him a new much needed bath mat when I was getting food yesterday). He knows it's ok to cry around me, but he's not ready to talk. But I'll be there when he is ready.
I’m sorry, supertrooper1. Strangely, that’s happened to two people in our lives in the past month. My niece, who was 31, and my mentor/substitute dad who was in his 70s. They went to bed fine (my mentor was at a party the night before and was apparently the life of the party) and just... didn’t wake up.
Post by supertrooper1 on Mar 20, 2020 11:03:25 GMT -5
The funeral is Monday, which is my birthday. My parents are pushing to make me a birthday dinner, but I just told them I want to wait until next weekend.
supertrooper1 , I've been thinking of you all. Hope you're holding up ok.
Thank you so much for thinking about us. We're doing ok. The funeral plans kept changing based on the state guidelines, but it was able to happen. I'm back to work but beau is trying to figure out when he will go back, as he doesn't want to just sit around, but he isn't sure he's ready to jump back into things.