Post by cricketwife on Mar 27, 2020 20:16:19 GMT -5
Susie's thread is revealing that we are all kind of in the same place. Let's dump our quarantine woes here.
We started observing stay-at-home two week ago today. Two weeks. The first week was voluntary/based on best guidelines. Our county's stay-at-home started Wednesday. And now, our governor has issued a stay at home until April 29. When we started, I guess it seemed more "oh it's the right thing to do." and even though I anticipated it lasting a while, I think it was very unreal in my head. I'd say, "Oh I don't think we'll be back at school for a while" but I hadn't grasped the reality of being at home for 48 days. And it could go longer, of course. Like, I can't believe this is actually real. I feel like a prisoner in my own life. I'm trapped in my family.
There's a part of me that regrets quarantining for the week that was optional. I mean, I don't really, but I feel like I should have taken advantage of freedom. I truly never imagined 6 weeks of a stay-at-home order. As I type that it's weird because I did think this was going to last into May, but I guess it's just wrapping my brain around it actually happen.
Dump here whatever you just want to get out.
ETA: "liking" a post here just means "I hear you. I'm with you!"
We’ve also been isolating for 2 weeks today. And I had twins 12/27, so we were already isolating the babies due to the flu and RSV, so I feel like I’ve been cooped up for.ev.er. Of course, it was much easier to handle with my older two at school.
I’ve already said this, but my biggest woe is living across the street from a playground, and having some neighbors not taking things seriously. My kids are still little at almost 6 and 3, but it’s torture for them to see their friends playing together. My heart breaks when they cry about it :/
lo , hugs. They roped off the playgrounds in my town.
I am so upset that daycare closed. I want to hate on the governor since he didn't include daycares initially when he closed the schools so maybe he got pushback for that, though I know COVID is not his fault. But what are we supposed to do with these really little kids who don't understand schedules? Grandparents aren't an option anymore if we're following the rules. My brother is twiddling his thumbs right now but he is stuck in California and we don't want to risk him flying back to the east coast. As much as I'm complaining, I can mostly manage given the mostly cosmetic nature of my profession and having a WFH spouse. But how are the first responders and essential workers and especially the single parents who fall into those categories handling this?
We've been isolating since 3/17, which was our 13th anniversary. We had dinner reservations, a sitter, and everything! ...until it got cancelled.
I'm left sort of wondering where will be left standing to go out when it's all over with.
I am still sad about that, but pretty much all my other woes I've already enumerated in the earlier thread.
I'm also kicking myself: we had a thread here recently-ish about play structures, and I said I had thought about it, but with all the parks in town and a tree in the middle of my backyard... meh, nah. OMG WHAT I WOULD GIVE for a play structure in the backyard now.
ETA: Oh, I'm also spending way too much of my life shopping for diapers.
DS wears Target Up & Up diapers size 4. They are totally sold out online, not even an out of stock listing. Just not there. So he's getting Amazon Mama Bear this month. But I moved up our subscribe & save for it, so they wouldn't sell out on me before 4/1.
DD wears Pampers Easy Ups for nap & overnight. I have them on S&S, but they're unavailable. Grocery store didn't have them. I'm sure I'll get them somewhere, but it's annoying.
Post by redpenmama on Mar 27, 2020 21:10:59 GMT -5
Today is 2 weeks of isolation for us as well. Like cricketwife, we started isolating as soon as school was called off but before it was mandated. We actually aren't technically in a shelter in place situation, but literally everything but life-sustaining businesses are closed, so it is all the same in my book.
Some days, I feel like we are settling into a new routine, and other days I am struggling to get myself out of bed just to do it all over again. I had several anxiety attacks during week one and only one this week, so I guess that is improvement. My mind cannot even process having to do this for months on end, so I am just trying to take it a day at a time, but easier said than done.
Post by mccallister84 on Mar 27, 2020 21:18:40 GMT -5
Susie I hear you on the play structure. We had talked about getting one this spring but I wasn’t in a big rush. Last weekend the big warehouse by us had a big sale but H didn’t want to buy one without physically seeing it and the footprint (totally understandable - it’s not a cheap purchase!). We decided he would go this weekend solo to look at them. Well Monday they shut down all non essential businesses so who knows when they’ll be open again.
I have been pretty unhappy in my job for awhile and have been keeping my eyes open for anything that looks interesting. I got through the interview process for a role/team that I am very excited about and found out on Wednesday that they can't offer because the company is freezing all positions until they figure out the economic impact.
so close! meanwhile, we've exhausted all the toys we own with our almost 2 year old and it's about to get rough.
Susie, I'm going to have to read your post thwt started this thread.
We've been isolating since Feb and I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel coming but I spoke too soon. DD and I were going to the library for story time and music time twice a week when it reopened and it felt nice to get out of the house (this was on a military base with secure measures to get on base).
In the last week, there has been 2 new cases on the base with security measures ramped up and I am just so tired. I am at the end of my ropes with figuring out what to do with DD. She just wants to play outside and it is depressing and makes me feel guilty telling her "no" so much.
Post by bookqueen15 on Mar 27, 2020 21:52:18 GMT -5
We also started self-isolating two weeks ago, as my DH is in the the high risk category. And I really started to feel like I was losing it yesterday. I am very introverted and being together at home 24/7 has been hard for me, it's just constant with no break at all. And my DD has been very resistant to doing schoolwork at home this week, hopefully that gets better next week once it really starts as this week was a week for the teachers to get trained and set up with the e-learning.
I went to Trader Joes this morning and was gone for over an hour, due to waiting outside for 30 minutes before I could go in (and shop in an almost empty store, which was really nice) and having that hour away helped me a lot today. I am going to try to do that every other day or so, even if I just go for a long drive or go somewhere to sit in my car for 30 minutes. I need some alone time during the day. I also keep buying more crafts, art supplies, etc! I am hoping it gets better, but doing this for the next 4-6 weeks seems impossible.
I just read this in The NY Times and had to add it to answer my own question a few posts above - who is watching the children of the workers who don't have a choice? The answer is no one.
"Until a few weeks ago, Darlyne Dagrin would drop her 22-month-old son off at a day care facility on her way to work at a nursing home in Cedar Grove, N.J. But the center has closed temporarily amid the pandemic, leaving her with no choice but to skip work when she can’t find a friend or relative to care for him. “This week I called out twice,” Ms. Dagrin said Wednesday. “They called me and said: ‘We won’t accept no more callouts. If you call out again you’re out of a job.’” She said she didn’t know what she was going to do for the rest of the week."
This is pretty local to me. This is horrible. This is what happens when you clamp down so hard on the daycares, Mr. Governor.
The governor must have set up some severe penalties for daycares when he gave the deadline to certify or close. Every white collar worker that wanted to already pulled their kids from the daycares over 2 weeks ago. The kids that were left obviously had something going on at home. DS's daycare to opted to close even though they are paying the teachers. DD's daycare is in the group that is not closing. But I could feel the shade when I showed up with her on Monday because I think in their mind, they thought I was a SAHM (they could have just looked at the enrollment forms I filled out). I felt gross having to explain why I brought her and they sounded really nervous because DD's other parent is WFH.
Post by minniemouse on Mar 27, 2020 22:31:52 GMT -5
PDQ Like everyone else, I am really struggling. I was having a hard time before all this hit due marriage issues and work stress, but now covid is all I can think about. My h is an RN. He has been off work most of this month due to the flu (positive flu test despite getting the vaccine) and pneumonia; he has crappy lungs already due to life long asthma. He goes back to work this Monday. He is making arrangements to stay with a friend so he doesn’t bring any germs home to us- his biggest fear is we both get it at the same time and then who cares for the kids? Our parents would take them but then they would be exposed. While I get the rationale, I think we’d be ok if he immediately changed out of his work clothes and showered right away, and slept in the guest room. Also, he does not work at a hospital, and most of his patients are home bound normally. His risk isn’t as bad as it could be. He says I am being selfish and we absolutely can’t be in the same house until one of us gets it and recovers. this could go on for months. How the hell am I going to work full time, manage the kids remote school work, and take care of every single meal and all the house stuff by myself? All while worrying he is going to get covid and end up hospitalized due to his already not great lungs? He said he would do the grocery shopping and drop it off on the front steps which is great but means I will never get out of the house at all (except the backyard or bike rides). At least my kids are a little older and semi helpful...it would be worse if they were babies or toddlers.
Post by aprilsails on Mar 27, 2020 22:57:04 GMT -5
We have a 4 year old and a 5 month old. Same as last time, DH has developed PPD again. We were at a breaking point a month ago when he wouldn’t interact with the baby, was yelling at the 4yo over anything and nothing, and I basically told him to get help or get the hell out and move in with his parents. He figured he was ok to white knuckle it again but he can’t do that if he can’t control his behaviour around the innocent kids.
He had started to take steps- heavy doses of vitamins (SAD is definitely an issue for him), cut back on drinking and staying up late playing video games to ‘escape’, being more present with the kids and taking on non childcare related responsibilities from me so that he could at least ease my burden.
And now this. Initially I quarantined with the kids and he continued to go to the office where he was the only employee on site just so he wasn’t underfoot. We’re now in more of a SIP situation and he’s converted the den into a home office. It’s no different really but it is different because I get to see how ducking easy his goddamn day is and he has stopped getting DD up and feeding her breakfast in the morning and he is now staying later on the conference calls at night. Closer to 6. If you pop out at6 and say you’ll make dinner you are too late since the damn4 year old has eaten ten snacks by then. He spent an hour playing euchre with coworkers over lunch and had a happy hour game of Secret Hitler. So basically I did every last minute of childcare from 7:30am to 6pm. I know he needs to be away from us for all our sakes, but I am becoming a ball of rage that because he can’t cope with change and has never talked to a therapist about this it is all on me to deal with it and be his therapist every damn time. I’m cracking. Fun times.
My H has been working 12+ hour days for 2 weeks, so I haven’t had more than a few minutes of time to myself. Also the kids haven’t seen him. We are going to need milk and produce soon and it has been a pain to even figure out a time I can go without the kids. I’m over it.
My H has been working 12+ hour days for 2 weeks, so I haven’t had more than a few minutes of time to myself. Also the kids haven’t seen him. We are going to need milk and produce soon and it has been a pain to even figure out a time I can go without the kids. I’m over it.
I’m still working too, not quite as long hours as your H but close. I’ve barely seen my son all week, though he does manage to wake me up 3-4 times a night (he’s having nightmares) so I’m also sleeping like crap. The knee surgery I need has been indefinitely postponed.
It’s honestly been really hard reading about everyone else staying home when I still have to go in. I know staying home is no piece of cake either, and I understand WHY we are still working so hard, but I’m scared that I’ll get sick and bring something home to my family.
Some days I think we are getting in a groove and doing okay and other days I really have to make myself get out of bed because I am so sick of living through Groundhogs Day already.
Online learning really sucks. DD gets so sick of the computer. When we were on our own I could come up with things to do that didn't involve screens but now that we have actual assignments they are all computer based. It's a struggle to get her to do them. I hate seeing her love of learning being evaporated. There is no other choice and she understands but it's still hard. Hopefully it gets easier as we go on. What I really, really hate about this though is she refuses screens the rest of the day after doing her schoolwork. She will check in on Kids Messenger but no longer wants to play video games or watch TV which means absolutely zero time to myself. I have not experienced this kind of mental exhaustion in a very long time.
I just read this in The NY Times and had to add it to answer my own question a few posts above - who is watching the children of the workers who don't have a choice? Then answer is no one.
"Until a few weeks ago, Darlyne Dagrin would drop her 22-month-old son off at a day care facility on her way to work at a nursing home in Cedar Grove, N.J. But the center has closed temporarily amid the pandemic, leaving her with no choice but to skip work when she can’t find a friend or relative to care for him. “This week I called out twice,” Ms. Dagrin said Wednesday. “They called me and said: ‘We won’t accept no more callouts. If you call out again you’re out of a job.’” She said she didn’t know what she was going to do for the rest of the week."
This is pretty local to me. This is horrible. This is what happens when you clamp down so hard on the daycares, Mr. Governor.
The governor must have set up some severe penalties for daycares when he gave the deadline to certify or close. Every white collar worker that wanted to already pulled their kids from the daycares over 2 weeks ago. The kids that were left obviously had something going on at home. DS's daycare to opted to close even though they are paying the teachers. DD's daycare is in the group that is not closing. But I could feel the shade when I showed up with her on Monday because I think in their mind, they thought I was a SAHM (they could have just looked at the enrollment forms I filled out). I felt gross having to explain why I brought her and they sounded really nervous because DD's other parent is WFH.
It sucks so bad all around. I do think the daycares should be closed though, especially if parents are working in potentially high exposure jobs, seems pretty risky:( everything here is closed now.
I totally disagree. I think it's a horrible idea not to have care open for critical positions.
The state of MN mandated closure except for parents who are working in healthcare/first responders, anywhere in the food supply chain, and critical government roles. I think that is the right thing to do. They are social distancing in childcare.
Otherwise who is going to staff the nursing homes and work in hospitals, etc?
I just read this in The NY Times and had to add it to answer my own question a few posts above - who is watching the children of the workers who don't have a choice? The answer is no one.
"Until a few weeks ago, Darlyne Dagrin would drop her 22-month-old son off at a day care facility on her way to work at a nursing home in Cedar Grove, N.J. But the center has closed temporarily amid the pandemic, leaving her with no choice but to skip work when she can’t find a friend or relative to care for him. “This week I called out twice,” Ms. Dagrin said Wednesday. “They called me and said: ‘We won’t accept no more callouts. If you call out again you’re out of a job.’” She said she didn’t know what she was going to do for the rest of the week."
This is pretty local to me. This is horrible. This is what happens when you clamp down so hard on the daycares, Mr. Governor.
The governor must have set up some severe penalties for daycares when he gave the deadline to certify or close. Every white collar worker that wanted to already pulled their kids from the daycares over 2 weeks ago. The kids that were left obviously had something going on at home. DS's daycare to opted to close even though they are paying the teachers. DD's daycare is in the group that is not closing. But I could feel the shade when I showed up with her on Monday because I think in their mind, they thought I was a SAHM (they could have just looked at the enrollment forms I filled out). I felt gross having to explain why I brought her and they sounded really nervous because DD's other parent is WFH.
I’m in NY, and Governor Cuomo mandated all public school districts to provide childcare for essential workers. This is still somewhat problematic, as it requires exposure to the parents and children who are on the front lines, but these kids need somewhere to go. I’m not happy about it, since it means my H leaving our home bubble on a rotating basis to staff it (as an administrator, so not directly caring for the children), but I understand the necessity.
DDs 1st birthday was this week, and today and next weekend were supposed to be her parties I tentatively rescheduled her big family one for 5/30. But honestly who knows if things will even be back to normal by then, and I feel silly having a party 2+ months after her birthday. In the grand scheme of things this doesn't compare to what other people are dealing with, but I spent like 2 months planning her party and buying stuff etc and the thought of not being able to have one for her makes me so sad.
I've also been in isolation for 2 weeks now and feel like I'm getting nothing accomplished at work or at home.
My baby is sad. She’s three. The first week, she thought the walks were fun and she’d run/jump/climb on the steps. This week, she cries at the walks and wants me to carry her while she rests her head on my shoulder. She takes long naps and sleeps in in the morning. She asks “where are all the peoples?” and then sadly responds to my answers that “we have to go home, too.” She doesn’t want to Zoom with her daycare class and is starting not even want to walk far from the house.
WFH with a toddler is impossible. I am working 6 am to 9 pm everyday and I’m still behind. I’m at my breaking point. Next week I am going to adjust expectations of myself.
I miss my friends. I’m an extrovert and the social isolation is really depressing me.
Total FWP but I really want to plan a vacation. We were going to go to Bali this year and that won’t happen. I look forward to vacations and this situation has me hopeless.
Well, it's the weekend. Now we don't even have the slight structure the girls' online learning provides. I'm surprised there are not more Groundhog's Day memes about this time - each day blends into each other!
Options for activities today include a long hike or weeding the garden. At least it's not raining.
DDs 1st birthday was this week, and today and next weekend were supposed to be her parties I tentatively rescheduled her big family one for 5/30. But honestly who knows if things will even be back to normal by then, and I feel silly having a party 2+ months after her birthday. In the grand scheme of things this doesn't compare to what other people are dealing with, but I spent like 2 months planning her party and buying stuff etc and the thought of not being able to having one for her makes me so sad.
I've also been in isolation for 2 weeks now and feel like I'm getting nothing accomplished at work or at home.
Have a whatever month it is party for her when this over!
WFH with a toddler is impossible. I am working 6 am to 9 pm everyday and I’m still behind. I’m at my breaking point. Next week I am going to adjust expectations of myself.
I miss my friends. I’m an extrovert and the social isolation is really depressing me.
Total FWP but I really want to plan a vacation. We were going to go to Bali this year and that won’t happen. I look forward to vacations and this situation has me hopeless.
Uuugh - we were planning a trip to the Azores, already have Disney booked in October and our tenth anniversary is coming up. My sister was doing a transatlantic cruise in May. Even when restrictions end on leaving our homes, travel will lag behind - especially international. Sigh.
In more immediate concerns, I worry about the economics of all this. Work from home is okay in the short term, but longer term it will be completely unsustainable. None of us are as productive, in some industries (like mine) what we can do st home does not generate income, etc. I lie awake at night thinking about how this ends and feeling terrified.
We’ve been trying to keep the news off/not talk about things around DS (6.5), but he still hears/is aware. DD wants to nurse constantly when I’m home. DS has started getting anxious at night about me going to work, and now when I’m home he’s also constantly climbing on me touching me sitting on my lap leaning on me touching touching TOUCHING. I’m so tired and stressed and anxious it’s so hard not to snap at him. Uuuuuuuugh.
My family is such troopers but I’m completely fried at this point.
We’ve been staying home for 15 days now. We are missing the wake/memorial service for a good friend of DHs today but they decided to add a zoom dial in at the memorial service so for that I am thankful so DH can join in some way. It’s still really tough.
Work is also very stressful right now. I plan corporate events and meetings which is clearly not a great industry to be in right now. I volunteered to spearhead our conversion to virtual events and it’s totally out of my usual realm and I’m stressed about it and trying to watch a 3 and 4 year old at the same time. But I know that being the person in charge of virtual is job security in a very uncertain industry right now so I don’t want to pull back.
Its impossible to do it all. I am lucky that work is being flexible and understanding but i have to split time with DHs work and he is the main breadwinner so we need his job more. It all sucks.
My kids are a little older, 8 and 11 (turns 12 in April).
Week one was hardest on my 8 year old. She is very extroverted, and has very close friends on all sides of us. Seeing them but not playing with them was so hard on her. She cried a lot, and I feel like a big chunk of my time was spent comforting her and trying to come up with fun activities to keep her mind off everything she was missing. But she seems to have accepted things, and discovered Kids Messenger which has been a godsend. She also figured out some things she could do with her friends across the street while still each staying in their own driveway.
Week 2 my almost-12 year old is breaking down. He struggles with anxiety and depression in the best of circumstances, and it has come to a head this week. I'm so worried for him. He has a phone, but it is relatively new so he doesn't have many friends numbers. Things have not been going great on the xbox, which used to be how he kept in touch with people. But for various reasons he doesn't seem to be able to get time playing with his closest friends. He feels isolated and keeps saying that he doesn't have any friends. That isn't true, but he has convinced himself that everyone else is staying in touch through xbox and texts, and he's not. He's worried about starting middle school next year without having a strong group of friends. He is also worried about the classes themselves-- he needed a 90% in his current math class to get into his preferred class for next year. He was at an 86% and was really focused on getting his grade up over the next few months, but now that's not an option.
He's been so miserable that he's hard to be around, and then last night he just sobbed for hours. It's awful, and there is very little I can do. I think I'm going to reach out to a few parents whose numbers I have to give them his # and ask them to share it with their sons. His birthday is in a few weeks, and it's going to be rough.
DH may have someone in his division at work whose spouse tested positive and the stupid fucker came to work and then told people his wife was home sick with a fever. Due to PII/HIPAA they can’t obviously give details, but this idiot makes me so mad. STAY HOME. DH claims he came bc he doesn’t have enough leave bc he burns it as soon as he has it. NOT MY PROBLEM.
We’re talking upwards of a few dozen people when you add in the families of the workers who they live with.
DDs 1st birthday was this week, and today and next weekend were supposed to be her parties I tentatively rescheduled her big family one for 5/30. But honestly who knows if things will even be back to normal by then, and I feel silly having a party 2+ months after her birthday. In the grand scheme of things this doesn't compare to what other people are dealing with, but I spent like 2 months planning her party and buying stuff etc and the thought of not being able to having one for her makes me so sad.
I've also been in isolation for 2 weeks now and feel like I'm getting nothing accomplished at work or at home.
Have a whatever month it is party for her when this over!
“Happy 16.5 months to you!!!”
Do it. Would come. 👍🏻
I agree - I would totally come. Heck once this is all over I will be so excited to celebrate anything with people!
This is the 15th day home for me and my son. My husband works in healthcare and is commuting every day. so even though we're staying home we're at risk of exposure every day. I worry about my husband not being okay if he gets it. I worry about us both getting it at once. I'm upset because I'm seeing that my son's school is not as good as everyone pretends it is. I'm sad that our trip to Ireland is not going to happen. And that the huge family party that my cousin was throwing there is not happening. I'm sad that the part time job I started this year and love so much won't be there when this is all over.