Put your quarantine woes here

[ny96]

Online school for my 6yo isn’t happening. Instead it’s a ton of Ryan’s World which has never been allowed before, but I’m too tired and anxious to care anymore. We can’t go to the local park because they closed it due to too many people from around the city coming in to hike and we don’t have much outdoors space for the kids to play in so they’re wild in the house all the time. My 6yo constantly wants to set up pretend stores and have parties and events and it’s driving me crazy, especially because he takes everything out. And everything is the same all the time.

[sent]

Mar 28, 2020 7:59:45 GMT -5 ktw said:

Mar 27, 2020 22:24:35 GMT -5 sent said:

I just read this in The NY Times and had to add it to answer my own question a few posts above - who is watching the children of the workers who don't have a choice? The answer is no one.

"Until a few weeks ago, Darlyne Dagrin would drop her 22-month-old son off at a day care facility on her way to work at a nursing home in Cedar Grove, N.J. But the center has closed temporarily amid the pandemic, leaving her with no choice but to skip work when she can’t find a friend or relative to care for him. “This week I called out twice,” Ms. Dagrin said Wednesday. “They called me and said: ‘We won’t accept no more callouts. If you call out again you’re out of a job.’” She said she didn’t know what she was going to do for the rest of the week."

This is pretty local to me. This is horrible. This is what happens when you clamp down so hard on the daycares, Mr. Governor.

The governor must have set up some severe penalties for daycares when he gave the deadline to certify or close. Every white collar worker that wanted to already pulled their kids from the daycares over 2 weeks ago. The kids that were left obviously had something going on at home. DS's daycare to opted to close even though they are paying the teachers. DD's daycare is in the group that is not closing. But I could feel the shade when I showed up with her on Monday because I think in their mind, they thought I was a SAHM (they could have just looked at the enrollment forms I filled out). I felt gross having to explain why I brought her and they sounded really nervous because DD's other parent is WFH.

I’m in NY, and Governor Cuomo mandated all public school districts to provide childcare for essential workers. This is still somewhat problematic, as it requires exposure to the parents and children who are on the front lines, but these kids need somewhere to go. I’m not happy about it, since it means my H leaving our home bubble on a rotating basis to staff it (as an administrator, so not directly caring for the children), but I understand the necessity.

Interesting, I didn't know this. I wonder how long before the NJ governor backtracks and does something like this. DD's daycare was supposed to stay open but sent a long email (they only send these super long emails!) saying they are being forced to close due to executive order 110. I read the order, it doesn't say they have to close, only those who don't certify have to close. It's semantics, but it matters to me because right now, everything is coming down to rules and exceptions. The way I see it, these kids like the ones in NY right now might be exposed but they are also only seeing a few kids and teachers daily. There is a risk those people also might take it home. But in general no one is going out to concerts and conventions and play places. We can't eliminate the risk of transmission entirely but the governors have taken steps to reduce it greatly. 

NJ has also asked for healthcare workers who are retired or licensed in other states or want to help in general to fill out a form and send it in. Sure, let's find all the older doctors and send an at-risk group to deal with this. There are no good solutions. 

[jnibean]

Today is my birthday, and I should be showering and getting ready for a date night with H right now while DS naps. We always go out for Mexican at our favorite restaurant, complete with beers/margaritas/chips/salsa etc. This year, we were going to get a sitter and go out just the two of us. I know we can do it once things get back to normal, but it's pity party of one over here.

H is an IT manager at a bank, so he's deemed essential.  I am teaching Kindergarten online, and staying home with DS.  Since H is already potentially exposed each day, he's the one that does the grocery pick up (we order online so he doesn't have to go in the store) so I literally haven't left the house in 14 days.  And it's been unusually cool here.  At least it's not winter, I guess?

[namasteak]

I need way more alone time than I’m getting with everyone home.

I bought workbooks to do homeschool and now I just want to get educational apps so I can get some quiet.

Now, more than ever, a clean & tidy house is relaxing to me so having everyone home making it cluttered so quickly is mentally really hard. On 1 hand I like it clean and on the other I get frustrated cleaning constantly.

[namasteak]

aprilsails postpartum support international has resources for dads too! He can text/call a volunteer and they have support group meetings.

[pandorica]

Mar 28, 2020 11:04:15 GMT -5 freshsqueezed said:

Mar 28, 2020 8:57:36 GMT -5 joy said:

Have a whatever month it is party for her when this over!

“Happy 16.5 months to you!!!”

Do it. Would come. 👍🏻


I agree - I would totally come.  Heck once this is all over I will be so excited to celebrate anything with people!

joy
Thank you guys! This is nice to hear.

[jnibean]

Mar 28, 2020 11:04:15 GMT -5 freshsqueezed said:

Mar 28, 2020 8:57:36 GMT -5 joy said:

Have a whatever month it is party for her when this over!

“Happy 16.5 months to you!!!”

Do it. Would come. 👍🏻


I agree - I would totally come.  Heck once this is all over I will be so excited to celebrate anything with people!

Totally agree.  I would celebrate your daughter whenever we could do it!

[simpsongal]

Mar 28, 2020 8:49:10 GMT -5 joy said:

My baby is sad. She’s three. The first week, she thought the walks were fun and she’d run/jump/climb on the steps. This week, she cries at the walks and wants me to carry her while she rests her head on my shoulder. She takes long naps and sleeps in in the morning. She asks “where are all the peoples?” and then sadly responds to my answers that “we have to go home, too.” She doesn’t want to Zoom with her daycare class and is starting not even want to walk far from the house.

Ugh. I can’t make it better for her. ☹️

my 3 yr old cried herself to sleep the other day bc she misses ballet and her friends. We tried online classes but she doesn’t get it, she just watched like a video.

I’m so over work and my boss just put in her notice. My boss’s boss is hoping I’ll act in that position- no way in hell.

[cricketwife]

Mar 28, 2020 12:51:58 GMT -5 jnibean said:

Today is my birthday, and I should be showering and getting ready for a date night with H right now while DS naps. We always go out for Mexican at our favorite restaurant, complete with beers/margaritas/chips/salsa etc. This year, we were going to get a sitter and go out just the two of us. I know we can do it once things get back to normal, but it's pity party of one over here.

H is an IT manager at a bank, so he's deemed essential.  I am teaching Kindergarten online, and staying home with DS.  Since H is already potentially exposed each day, he's the one that does the grocery pick up (we order online so he doesn't have to go in the store) so I literally haven't left the house in 14 days.  And it's been unusually cool here.  At least it's not winter, I guess?

Im so sorry 😢. And I feel you. My bday is next week and we always pick a Saturday to celebrate.  This was to be our first date night since our anniversary in 
November.   

[jnibean]

Mar 28, 2020 13:10:22 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

Mar 28, 2020 12:51:58 GMT -5 jnibean said:

Today is my birthday, and I should be showering and getting ready for a date night with H right now while DS naps. We always go out for Mexican at our favorite restaurant, complete with beers/margaritas/chips/salsa etc. This year, we were going to get a sitter and go out just the two of us. I know we can do it once things get back to normal, but it's pity party of one over here.

H is an IT manager at a bank, so he's deemed essential.  I am teaching Kindergarten online, and staying home with DS.  Since H is already potentially exposed each day, he's the one that does the grocery pick up (we order online so he doesn't have to go in the store) so I literally haven't left the house in 14 days.  And it's been unusually cool here.  At least it's not winter, I guess?

Im so sorry 😢. And I feel you. My bday is next week and we always pick a Saturday to celebrate.  This was to be our first date night since our anniversary in 
November.   

Yeah, we haven't had a date night since mid-January, but it was in our hometown so we had to go back to my parents house afterwards.  Prior to that it was the first weekend of October for a concert, where we did have a hotel room.  October!  

[kdubs923]

Mar 27, 2020 22:24:35 GMT -5 sent said:

I just read this in The NY Times and had to add it to answer my own question a few posts above - who is watching the children of the workers who don't have a choice? The answer is no one.

This is true for many. DH is a firefighter. I’m WFH, so I’m our childcare, too. It’s not ideal, but my work is a very family friendly company so I’m able to make it work. But on Monday, I found myself at the ER for a bit. One of the nurses who helped me is the wife of a firefighter that works with DH. We’ve known each other for 10+ years, so we were talking about life during Covid 19.

She said, “I’m so embarrassed to say this - hell, I probably shouldn’t say it out loud, DCFS could be around the corner. But my 10 year old is home, babysitting my 17 year old (who has significant developmental delays). DH is on shift for the next 24 hours and I need to be here. I have literally no other option.”

It worked out fine. Her 10 year old is incredibly mature (likely due to growing up with an older sibling with delays) and everyone was fine. But there are very many nurse/firefighter couples on DH’s department that are likely having the same issue. (For example - within my 4 hour visit at the ER, I ran into two more nurses that are wives of firefighters, whose spouses work with DH.) I can think of at least a dozen couples more that are some combination of nurse/cop/firefighter.

[pandorica]

Mar 28, 2020 14:43:53 GMT -5 melmaria said:

Mar 28, 2020 8:36:49 GMT -5 pandorica said:

DDs 1st birthday was this week, and today and next weekend were supposed to be her parties I tentatively rescheduled her big family one for 5/30. But honestly who knows if things will even be back to normal by then, and I feel silly having a party 2+ months after her birthday. In the grand scheme of things this doesn't compare to what other people are dealing with, but I spent like 2 months planning her party and buying stuff etc and the thought of not being able to have one for her makes me so sad.

I understand how you feel. We had scheduled DD’s first birthday party at the end of April, and will almost certainly cancel it. We had a ton of stuff purchased and planned too.

I’m glad DD is too young to be aware of what’s going on in the world right now and won’t even remember this. But at the same time, first birthday parties are really about the parents/family at large, and it’s been a really tough year for me and my H for all sorts of reasons. I was really looking forward to a celebration with family.

But then I feel bad for even having these self-pitying thoughts. If the worst that happens to us is canceling DD’s first birthday party, I know we should consider ourselves extremely lucky.

Big hugs. Like you said, if this is the worst it's not that bad compared to others, but it still really sucks. Making it through the first year is a big milestone that's worth celebrating with family and friends.

[brooklyn]

This all sucks so much. I am not cut out for homeschooling whatsoever. DS1’s Catholic school sent out soooo much work to be done, that involves a lot of legwork on my part. Printing it out, explaining it, photographing completed work, and submitting in Google Classroom. An older kid could probably handle those steps, but not my first grader!

And I have a one year old (and also had to cancel his party 😭) who is into everythinggggg and I can’t manage supervising the both of them all day everyday. In our 2 bedroom apartment. With my husband who is working from home from one of the bedrooms. My introverted self needs a break!

And I live in the middle of Manhattan, where things are just eerie. Basically everything is closed up, except restaurants/delis/grocery stores. Stores are only letting small amounts of people in at a time to comply with social distancing, resulting in lines to get in. A lot of my favorite restaurants have closed because staying open just for delivery isn’t sustainable.

And it’s really unsettling to no longer hear regular traffic noise. Just ambulances wailing down the block. 😭 I live 3 blocks away from a major hospital and their new mobile morgue...

[ellipses84]

I have a bigger regret than not getting a play structure....after losing 2 houses in natural disasters 16 months apart, we relocated back to our old city and had very little time to find a place to live. We moved into a 2 bedroom apartment “temporarily” that we don’t love, but when our lease was up, life was crazy busy and we were so tired of moving, so we decided to stay another year. I regretted it pretty soon after, but kept reminding myself I told DH I’d rather live in a tiny apartment than in a place with hurricanes and floods, plus we are hardly home, there’s tons of amazing parks and beaches nearby, etc. Our lease is up at the end of May and we’ll have been here 2.5 years.

It totally sucks being quarantined in a tiny apartment with 4 people. We have a little patio but we basically aren’t even social distancing if we are out there and neighbors are out. I really wish we had a yard. The city closed all parks, trails, and beaches because too many people went to the popular ones last weekend (even the unpopulated ones in our neighborhood). I have to lock myself in our bedroom to work all day. We have to figure out how DS1 can do school with his little brother around. DH isn’t working or getting paid. We’ve survived so much over the past few years and we’d finally had a decent year where things felt “normal” and this happens. I know we’ll be fine, but I’m definitely having flashbacks of emotions I felt when we lost everything.