Post by purplepenguin7 on Apr 1, 2020 16:44:21 GMT -5
Has anyone seen/visited older relatives, staying 6ft away? What are your thoughts on this? My mom was considering coming to my house to drop something off with no contact, but I feel like she's going to want to see/watch my daughter from afar...outside only. Is this ok to do? I'm not worried about us but more my mom and grandma, who is staying with her and may or may not want to come too. My husband and I haven't been to work or around crowds in over two weeks and have been following social distancing guidelines but will admit that we've been fairly liberal with going grocery shopping and takeout on occasion.
I don't know. I've seen an article on FB that says people shouldn't be "hanging out" even at 6ft distance. Like the neighborhood happy hours around a driveway or teens sitting on top of their cars. The article didn't really say WHY it wasn't ok, just that it wasn't social distancing. So I really don't know what the answer is for anything anymore.
What I have been doing to gauge what I "should" do is I ask myself "If I knew I was a carrier, would I do this". When it comes to any social activity, I think it is best to operate under the assumption that you are a non-symptomatic carrier. So, if there is a setup that lets you be okay with your mom hanging out watching your daughter from afar with that in mind, then go for it. If you hesitate because you think it is possible to spread, imo, don't do it.
Post by tarzanswife on Apr 1, 2020 16:58:11 GMT -5
I deliver groceries to an elderly friend and "visit" with her at a distance. I drop the food on her porch for her to clean and then we chit chat while she is standing inside the screen door and I'm standing on the sidewalk, more than 6 feet away. I think that during this time it is important to make sure our mental health is a priority. I'm a single mom at home with a kid all day and working full time. I was suffering. So my neighbor and I meet at either end of my driveway and have a glass of wine together here and there. I don't think it's wrong if you keep your distance and be mindful of hand washing, etc..
On DS's birthday (March 21) my parents left his presents outside and watched him open them from their front door while he was about 20 feet away. Other than that, they dropped something off for him earlier this week and waved to us from the car while we were in the house behind the screen door. That's it.
My husband went to do groceries today nd his mom asked him to grab milk and eggs for her so he dropped it off. He sanitized his hands and didnt hug her anything and stayed a good distance apart.
a friend went and did the same for her mom and they chatted in the driveway for 30 mins a good 10 ft apart. Her mom is immunocompromised (lukemia survivor). Its safer this way than them going to the store.
Post by shamrockshake on Apr 1, 2020 17:19:29 GMT -5
My grandfather is 91 and lives alone, I’m more worried about his mental health. We sang happy birthday to him from the car, my brother loaded zoom on an iPad for him and dropped out off so he could see us. I will do another driveway visit soon. I’m not worried as we stay very far away and it’s just a quick visit, I’ve read that through the air it needs to be prolonged contact so I’m not concerned about a 5 minute visit from that distance
Post by purplepenguin7 on Apr 1, 2020 17:50:14 GMT -5
Thanks all. It won’t be for a while so we are still thinking it through. It would be probably 5-10 minutes max so definitely not “hanging out” for long periods of time.
Post by sapphireblue on Apr 1, 2020 18:05:07 GMT -5
He isn't older, but SO's brother came down on Friday to drop off a cake and presents for my daughter's birthday that her grandmother had made.
He stood outside our very tall fence and my kids peeked out a crack in the fence to see him. My SO stood outside the fence too but six feet away. they never touched. He was here maybe 10 minutes.
Well, I need to amend my answer because my dumbass husband just met not one but two neighbors on a walk and stopped and talked to them maybe six feer apart. I saw him from a window and was like WTF do you think we've been in the house for three weeks for. STAY. AWAY. FROM. PEOPLE. Jesus.
I don't know. I think I would be comfortable if you stay a minimum of 6 feet apart - further would be better. Like maybe have her park on the street and have your daughter come to the front porch so you have a whole yard in between.
Realistically if you all have been going to stores, you've had chances for exposure there too. Unless your mom is very high risk and has been completely isolated otherwise (no errands and no contact with anyone who has done errands) I don't feel like you're putting her at any more risk than she's likely to encounter otherwise.
I am totally freaked out about all of this and want to be cautious, but I think we can also be reasonable to some extent. I can't see how talking to someone who is 10-20 feet away is going to spread any disease. Just don't use it as a gateway to relaxing other social distancing rules, KWIM?
We're doing this. We go out walking or biking around the community and stop to chat with friends and neighbors at a distance. Saturday night we plan to take drinks and lawn chairs to our neighbors' driveway and sit at least 10 feet apart and chat. I expect that this shelter in place period is going to last a long time, so I'm willing to accept some (I believe very small) risk to have some social interaction.
I am very strict about a lot of things related to distancing but I’m okay with being 6’+ apart from people outdoors. My parents have sat in chairs in our yard while my son plays far away and we chat. I do not think there is a risk to that.
My grandfather is 91 and lives alone, I’m more worried about his mental health. We sang happy birthday to him from the car, my brother loaded zoom on an iPad for him and dropped out off so he could see us. I will do another driveway visit soon. I’m not worried as we stay very far away and it’s just a quick visit, I’ve read that through the air it needs to be prolonged contact so I’m not concerned about a 5 minute visit from that distance
This is where I’m at. My dad is 64, a smoker for most of those, but also a widower. He was devastated when they closed church services, it was a huge part of his weekly routine, and he always went for his weekly grocery trip after mass. At this point I’m just thrilled he is allowing me do to his grocery shopping, prescription pick up, etc. and taking this as serious as my sister and I are trying to tell him it is. A huge hobby of his is cooking- specifically grilling and smoking. He smoked ribs the other night and offered them “to go”. I stood the whole length of the driveway away and we chatted for a good half hour. We talk daily on the phone, texting too, but I know that that in-person conversation really rejuvenated him. If that’s what we need to do so that he doesn’t give up on this whole thing entirely, then I’m going to consider it safe. I know we can be asymptomatic carriers, but standing outside 15+ feet apart, and not casting our droplets at one another...I guess that level of risk is what we are willing to take, especially for the sake of his mental health.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Apr 1, 2020 19:05:56 GMT -5
I think you have to assess risk and make your decision based on that. I think whatever decision you make is personal and should be based on, “What happens if I’m carrying the disease?”
Are you in a hot zone? What has your exposure been? Does anyone have any concerns that could complicate an infection? Etc.
I will cop to visiting my mom. She and her H are caring for our niece and nephew because my brother is an essential worker. My H and I haven’t been out - we work from home and do grocery delivery. My mom and her H are at home (retired). We don’t live in a hot zone. We’ve all been isolated for more than 2 weeks.
Those are all things we think about. Our isolation clocks are still running. If someone were to have different exposure levels (a doctor’s appointment, a store visit, etc.) we would separate.
Visiting from afar with people less isolated than me/being less isolated than I am? I would probably be ok with that. Keep distance, make sure all involved are aware of what the separation will be, and enjoy saying hello.
My parents live 3 blocks away so when we take walks, we stop by and they stay up on their deck while the kids play down in the yard. My parents and my kids (who usually spend everyday together as my parents usually watch them while we work) need this. There’s virtually no risk of transmission (and we’re all healthy and have been homebound/no contact with anyone since the 13th)and I feel comfortable with it. That’s the extend of our “breaking the rules”.
Post by JayhawkGirl on Apr 1, 2020 20:30:25 GMT -5
My parents live two neighborhoods over from us. We have gone by three times, us in the car on the street, them up on their driveway, probably 30’ away. My dad is actually the issue. He is so sloppy about it. I dropped my long heating pad off for my mom yesterday - she had a hysterectomy Monday - and he just walked up to me in the driveway. NO!! I will set it down and you get it after I leave dude. Fuck.
Post by wanderingback on Apr 1, 2020 20:59:33 GMT -5
I personally am not doing this. I might feel differently if I had a car and could drive somewhere and talk with them from the driveway and do it for a super special occasion. However, in my city, the center of the pandemic all city officials are saying STAY HOME. They're not saying it's ok to socialize if you're 6 feet apart. The 6ft rule is for when you must absolutely be out.
My cousin and I both live alone right now. We've been chatting a lot and I mentioned that I made banana bread. He mentioned wanting to come get some because he's ok with going out and socializing by keeping 6 ft distance. He's a huge extrovert so I do know he's wanting to get out at least some. So I did think about just leaving some in my lobby for him to pick up, but then I realized that would just be contributing to him being out for a non-necessary reasons, so I decided against it.
I certainly understand that mental health plays a role here and people don't want to stay inside for 8+ weeks, but for now I personally am taking things very seriously and am going to work, the grocery store and that's it. No 6ft social distance visits for me at this time.
Post by lovelyshoes on Apr 1, 2020 21:26:56 GMT -5
Everyone has some sort of exception and the weather is getting nicer. I think that will eventually end up causing us to be forced to stay inside like Italy. This virus has lagging time and just because an area isn’t a hot spot today doesn’t mean people aren’t walking around infected.
Post by pinkalicious on Apr 1, 2020 21:37:02 GMT -5
We dropped dinner off to my parents tonight for their 40th anniversary. They came outside and we ended up taking DS (1 year old) out of the car so they could see him walk. They didn’t hold him, but my 10 year old niece played with him a bit. It was for 10 minutes and they both needed it. I gave my mom a quick hug, and other than that, we kept our distance. It was really hard.
Right now I’m not comfortable. 99% of our friends are super taking it seriously and staying home almost completely.
My mom has brain cancer and my dad has some health issues and his her caretaker. I know that (at least until today when I went to the store) I was healthy because I hadn’t left the house for three weeks but I know my dad has been out and they have health care workers (PT and a nurse) coming in for my mom. I know she wants to see us but she’s totally there mentally so I’m just talking to her on the phone.
My brother went over a couple of times but I don’t approve. Too many germs to catch or give them. If they really deteriorated health-wise I’m the one who will have to handle things for them so I feel like that’s another reason to stay away.
I really think we all have to just stay home and far away from each other. Six feet of kind of an arbitrary number, not some exact science. I also worry about driving and getting into an accident or having car trouble. Or even just not feeling well and not having any bathrooms or stores to stop in.
It sucks but I’d really like to make it through this alive and feeling like I did all I could not to spread it to everyone else. The more fast and loose people are with the rules the longer this will drag on and the more people will die. I think when people see some people “breaking the rules” they are more likely to do it themselves.
I am very much a “greater good” type person in general though. I grew up having to amuse myself a lot and eating/making all meals at home so this is sort of a return to that for me.
My mom lives alone and i am concerned about her being without human contact for this long. I have been taking my kids over twice a week to play in her yard. She sits on her deck to watch and they talk/yell back and forth. We bring our own toys so we don’t touch anything at her house.
Honestly if this is wrong I am going to need some suggestions because I can’t see how she can go without human interaction for months.
Post by InBetweenDays on Apr 2, 2020 0:05:10 GMT -5
We are not visiting my parents at all until the social distancing is lifted. And we are not doing any planned distance visiting with friends. But we also haven't stayed solely inside our house.
We have been out for daily walks or runs in the neighborhood (just solo or as a family). We have chatted with friends over our fence for a few minutes here and there when they've walked or biked by (from generally 10' away). I left books on my front porch for one friend, and vegetable seeds for two others. When they came to get them I waited until they were on the sidewalk (about 20' away) then opened the door to say hello for a few minutes.
We visit with our neighbours across the fence, not like Wilson-style, but their porch and ours (maybe 30 feet?). They’re nearly 90, and while we wouldn’t get closer, we like to check that they’re okay and don’t need anything, and they like to chat with our 4-year-old. My dad and his gf will occasionally drop things off and chat from about that same 30 ft distance, but usually only for a few mins.
My experience is not with only older people specifically but I do socialize from a distance with some people. I have a local pokemon group of varying ages and we still meet some days for events. We usually drive to a location and are about 15ft apart while we battle and discuss some things. It is usually about 15 min together and there is no physical contact with people or other surfaces. It is nice for our sanity to have those normal moments where we have fun and don't worry about the rest of the world. It is so low risk that I have no issues with it.
I think mental health is very important. So if visiting from 10+ feet apart occasionally is going to help then I say do it in limited amounts and take precautions (ex: don’t touch anything of theirs, share toys/chairs, go if you’re sick, etc).
I posted this on CEP over the weekend- I did this with two friends Sunday. We pulled into a large parking lot for one of the soccer fields in town. Stayed 6 feet apart and in the back of our SUVs and chatted for an hour. I'm not sure I'm going to make it another month if we can't do things like this occasionally. My depression is really kicking into high gear with all of this and I need to see people other than my H and son to stay sane. However, I will say I was nervous the whole time. People kept driving through the parking lot and staring at us. Someone also took a picture of us from the road, and I was nervous it was going to end up on one of our town FB pages or something. A police officer also drove by - I definitely thought he was going to break us up, but he just said "looks like social distancing at its finest" and moved on, lol. All in all, it was more stressful than it needed to be, but I'm not discounting doing it again when the weather is nice, just super sparingly.
My in-laws live one street away from us. Before the restrictions started, we would see each other everyday. Once all of this started, they were still running around and not really taking any of this seriously. I gave them a firm lecture that if you want to see us you MUST stay home. I said we needed time apart so as not to put DH at risk. (Forget the fact that they are in their 70s with various health issues) It’s been two weeks, so they came over yesterday for DS’ birthday. Maybe it was dumb, maybe we’ll regret it, I don’t know, and I get really stressed about it. My H thinks it’s fine. I’m really not sure what to do going forward. I feel like the biggest bitch on earth telling them no, but I’m also not sure if their mental health can handle the isolation. I lost a lot of sleep about this last night.
We were visiting neighbors and staying outside, more than 6 feet apart......but I think we’re going to stop. At this point I think we need to behave like all of us are infected, and like we are trying not to spread our infection to those we might come in contact with. It’s going to be hard though, we love these neighbors and they are like a third set of grandparents to our son (they are 60, we are 40, so slightly higher risk than us).