Today I have massive PMS and I know I'm off-kilter.
I did the Instacart thing and we have a delivery supposedly coming tonight. I am so, so stressed every time we shop. It's not rational, but I know that's where all my hidden stress is going--it's finding a focus point. I feel like we are fine holed up in our house watching movies and doing puzzles, but every time we shop the entire process stresses me out. What to get, how long to try to make it last, how to deal with the bags and packages and what to wipe down. I feel like it's an opportunity to introduce the virus into our previously "safe" space.
I know the statistics and odds, but I'm so saddened/alarmed by all the stories of healthy people dying from this, or getting really, really sick. Especially now the few cases with babies/kids. I previously felt like there was almost a guarantee that kids would be fine but now I'm not as confident, and I'm worried about all of us now, not just my 101 year old grandma.
I dreamt last night that I woke up with horrible cold symptoms and told my husband I might have Covid-19, and he was just like, "oh, well, I have to go, so you'll just have to take care of the kids anyway!"
And the economy. Ugh.
The good news is it's beautiful outside, finally, and I'm sure getting out with the kids will make me feel a lot better.
Schools just closed for the school year here. While I knew it was inevitable I'm experiencing a brand new wave of mostly anger. The state should have been shut down a month ago because clearly people give zero fucks. I don't even know what to do with how furious I am. I seriously want to punch someone in the face.
Post by minniemouse on Apr 2, 2020 14:50:58 GMT -5
Petty bad. This week has been awful, I can’t concentrate and im just not good. My h is a healthcare worker now dealing with covid patients so he is no longer coming home in order to protect us. I am trying to work full time and help both kids with school work, cook all the meals etc. Just found out my 5th Grader is now being graded when the teachers are not actually teaching. They assign lessons and kids have to do it on their own. My dd has been so stressed! Now NY canceled spring break for all the schools, so we don’t even get a break from the distance learning. I’m so fed up. ETA- and of course I’m terrified that any or all of my healthcare worker family and friends are going to get the virus.
The first few weeks were OK. Work just extended us working from home for another month. School is out for at least another month. (I'm expected it will get extended. But at this point, I can mentally only handle a week or two at a time)
DH has started seeing Covid patients & a coworker has it now. Two more coworkers are awaiting results. I feel like it's a ticking time bomb. It's going to happen - he/we're going to get sick. Just... when?
I'm going to lose it with my mom. She is acting typical boomer that is all jerked that her plans are impacted, not understanding she'd be a prime target for coronavirus. She's in her 60's, obese, and has heart/respiratory issues. Yet, she just wants to go to the movies and can't understand why we won't let her bring the kid's Easter baskets over to my house.
Even so, with the day to day stuff, I think I'm coping OK.
But at night... when I let my mind wander. Thinking of a loved one getting sick - how they will be alone in their last moments, takes my fucking breath away. My dad's nursing home sent a picture of him, supposed to be cute like you see on facebook, where it says 'I'm OK! Love you & miss you'. And I broke down. He's alone and I haven't be allowed to visit him for weeks. He likely is forgetting us. If he gets sick and things take a turn, if he's alone, I will never ever forgive myself (I know, not actually my fault). But his dementia has already taken so much from us, I can't stand to think of if he gets sick, how he deserves so much better than being alone. And then I sob.
Not great. Also my mom (Fox watcher) keeps acting like I’m crazy for not being willing to see her from more than a very safe distance. She’s elderly and not in great health and DH still goes out to work a few days.a week. I’m trying to keep her from dying!
I’m a little better today but yesterday was bad. I haven’t been sleeping well and every little ache or cough sends me into a full body check of how I am feeling. I had a good cry in the shower, and took a Benadryl and slept 8 hours which all helped.
Socially honestly I’m fine and don’t really miss most social stuff. I do miss having quiet times in my house now that my kids are here and loud every minute.
I want this to be over but am ask not sure if I’ll be comfortable going out in crowded places for a long time. It stresses me out to even think about it.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Apr 2, 2020 16:00:07 GMT -5
Today was our first actual day of online learning. Even with our school district easing us into it with a typical first day of school, get to know the new platform and fill out fun intro. things to practice posting them and whatnot, ds fought me and complained about every freaking assignment. It was painful. I get that our district was not prepared and this was the soonest they were ready, but I feel like school ended, and we adjusted. Now school is starting again, and we'll adjust, but I almost wish they had jumped right in today so we could hurry up and adjust to what it's really going to be like. Also, my dh is on 'vacation' this week. He is a radiologist, and he works from home at times, but does have to go in at times too, but at least has very little patient interaction. But the hospital asked anyone who had scheduled vacations in late April, May, and early June to see if they would be willing to take some now instead, because our hospitals aren't busy right now (because they cancelled all elective/non emergent procedures and aren't overrun with Covid patients yet), but they expect to be busy then. So he gave up a week off in May for a week off now. And I actually thought, great, he'll be home to help the kids transition to online learning and give me a little break from 24/7 kid duty (I really just want a half hour of the house to myself). But he's had so many online meetings and patient issues he's had to deal with that he's been busy every time the kids both needed something at the same time, every time they fight, every time they basically need anything, and it's really pissing me off.
kdubs923, my grandma is in a memory care facility that's been locked down to visitors since mid-March. My mom struggles a lot with the same feelings you shared. She keeps wondering if she should have tried to take my grandma to her house, but she needs so much care...I don't see how it would really be possible. It's a really sad situation though and we all feel very helpless.
I'm doing better today. This is week 3 of isolation. Starting at the end of last week DD got sick and stopped sleeping, so the weekend was miserable and by Monday night I was super anxious and stressed about another week of trying to work Fat with a 1yo on no sleep. Thankfully last night she almost got back to a full night of sleep and was healthy and happy today, so it was a good day. I was definitely ready to crack there for a bit.
Outside of family, the two people I love most on this planet have both tested positive and are in ICU. They are in generally good heath but are in their early 70s. I’m so sick with worry for them.
Outside that everything is fine. School announced today its cancelled for the year. Stinks, but figured it was coming. I’m working from home and so is DH. Kids have been getting along well and play outside a lot
I really can’t complain. But I’d take any prayers you want to send out way for our friends that are very, very ill right now
Every week is getting harder (we are in week 3--I've gone to the grocery store twice and that's it). This week is "spring break," so we have no structure and I'm unmotivated to create one for just a week. Official distance learning starts Monday.
My oldest is struggling this week, and nothing I'm trying is helping. I'm hoping having school next week will help. I get through the days OK and keep the kids busy, but I can't sleep at night because I have so much to worry about (don't we all?). I'm chasing after kids 12 hours a day, working 4-5 hours after that, and then trying to sleep. It's just a lot, and it feels unsustainable. I am grateful to have any work right now (I'm a freelancer) and am concerned about when work will start to fizzle out for me.
Post by humpforfree on Apr 2, 2020 20:18:11 GMT -5
“School” and being home is going surprisingly well. We are all pretty introverted anyway and somehow the kids aren’t totally after each other (yet). I’m so glad H can mostly work from home. My anxiety is not doing so hot though. I had to get groceries today & tried to shop for 2-3 weeks. It’s like all I could think about all week (strategizing groceries, decontamination, etc) and I was so anxious in the store. Now I’m going to be anxious for the next couple of weeks too. If I think too much about how this is still going to get much worse I start to spiral bad. I literally cannot think further than a day or so at a time, other than compulsively planning and scheduling for activities for “school” to keep us occupied.
humpforfree, I'm glad I'm not the only one freaking out about shopping. And the rest.
Hang in there. I think I need a night of mindless TV and some good sleep. Maybe you, too.
I feel like I’m going to be pretty anxious about leaving the house for a long time in the future, even after this is mostly cleared up. 😩
Also, I’d love a good night of sleep, but 3 month old lol. I think he is going through the sleep regression early, or a leap, or growth spurt or something. His sleep has been total crap the last week. So that’s definitely not helping my anxiety either.
The day by day is going pretty well. It's busy, it's planned with school/work/activities (baking, new lego set, bike ride in an empty parking lot, whatever).
But it's when it's quiet at night, that I let my mind get a few days/weeks ahead. It can be a scary spiral.
Hoping A gets his stuff together and lets you get back to better sleep <3
lolalolalola same here while actually having a ton more work. Huge hugs, it really sucks.
Really stressed all day every day. I don’t know how to shake it either. So many cases here, seeing them news and seeing how other states aren’t taking it as seriously really makes me nervous. Knowing all the freaking snow birds are going to come back and bring it here again is pissing me off. I feel like I am angry a lot and that’s not me. I hate it. Working is super stressful and now there’s more work, less pay and more reduction measures are going to take place. The baby is off schedule and bored and it’s so hard to watch him and work. My older son is not himself, misses school, activities, friends. It’s rough. I hardly sleep, zero alone time, just trying to keep my head above water while working full time and parenting full time, with no room to mess up at work either. I don’t know how I can keep this up long term. This isn’t going to be over any time soon.
lolalolalola same here while actually having a ton more work. Huge hugs, it really sucks.
Really stressed all day every day. I don’t know how to shake it either. So many cases here, seeing them news and seeing how other states aren’t taking it as seriously really makes me nervous. Knowing all the freaking snow birds are going to come back and bring it here again is pissing me off. I feel like I am angry a lot and that’s not me. I hate it. Working is super stressful and now there’s more work, less pay and more reduction measures are going to take place. The baby is off schedule and bored and it’s so hard to watch him and work. My older son is not himself, misses school, activities, friends. It’s rough. I hardly sleep, zero alone time, just trying to keep my head above water while working full time and parenting full time, with no room to mess up at work either. I don’t know how I can keep this up long term. This isn’t going to be over any time soon.
This is me from the second I log onto work until the second I log off. The non-work hours aren't as bad. The work hours are crushing me though.
I'm a SAHM to two tiny kids with conflicting nap schedules so in reality this isnt THAT much different than usual. The baby is actually sleeping well so I'm theoretically more rested than ever.
We are distancing ourselves from Grandma but not not 100% so C spent a few nights over there this week. She managed to potty train him but he's not digging it at home yet so that's a stressor.
I'm definitely stressed AF about current events right now, and keep feeling like I'm getting sick. H is an essential worker so I feel like it's just a matter of time.
I’m struggling today. Being pregnant during all of this is just making me really emotional for a variety of reasons. Not that I am particularly worried about us catching it, just the unknown as time goes by of what time will look like between now and when he is born. I know so many people are dealing with far worse, but I’m just having a mini pity party today. And dd is struggling too. She’s such a little extrovert and I can tell this is really starting to wear on her too.
lolalolalola same here while actually having a ton more work. Huge hugs, it really sucks.
Really stressed all day every day. I don’t know how to shake it either. So many cases here, seeing them news and seeing how other states aren’t taking it as seriously really makes me nervous. Knowing all the freaking snow birds are going to come back and bring it here again is pissing me off. I feel like I am angry a lot and that’s not me. I hate it. Working is super stressful and now there’s more work, less pay and more reduction measures are going to take place. The baby is off schedule and bored and it’s so hard to watch him and work. My older son is not himself, misses school, activities, friends. It’s rough. I hardly sleep, zero alone time, just trying to keep my head above water while working full time and parenting full time, with no room to mess up at work either. I don’t know how I can keep this up long term. This isn’t going to be over any time soon.
thank you. I am in the same boat. MY coworker is quitting so I am trying to learn his job which is a completely new area for me that I have no background in. Once he leaves, I'll be doing both of our jobs. Because, hiring freeze.
I'm sorry, it helps me to remember we are all in this together, and that I can't possibly do it all. So, something has to give... I wake up at 4 am every day worrying about stuff. Every so often I take sleeping pill to help me get one good night's sleep every so often. My kids have been off school on spring break for the last 2 weeks so basically haven't been in school at all. I am looking forward to school starting on Monday so they have something to keep them occupied. My 12 year old has only been outside of the house once in the last 3 weeks, just on our driveway.