How is everyone?

[RockNVoll]

I miss you all and our previously more active board, especially in these lockdown times.  Gimme your updates!

My company has announced that we won't be re-opening any non-Asia offices before Sept. 1, and possibly much later.  Definitely wasn't expecting them to make the call so far out, but I appreciate the clarity and, more importantly, the cautious approach they're taking.  I like not having a commute and I'm getting a lot more sleep these days, but it'll be so weird whenever we do finally return.

At home, I've turned my focus to making our outdoor space more appealing.  We have more or less a blank canvas because our builders decided not to give us any plantings before we closed so our curb appeal is a bit...lacking.  We're also lucky to have a big back yard, but it's just one giant grass field right now.  I don't have an eye for these things so have reached out to a few landscape designers to see how much pro help will cost.  I'm saving money on commuting and eating out so it'll be OK, right?!

[RockNVoll]

scm1011 drloretta liveintheville cgpm noodleoo

I'm not even sure who's still active here anymore, LOL.

Today I'm just feeling done.  Don't want to work anymore and ready to shut down for the weekend.  Maybe it's time to start using some of those vacation days I don't know what to do with.

[scm1011]

Hello! Thanks for tagging me, RockNVoll. This board is so dead I rarely check it anymore.

We're doing fine. WFH with a baby and a 3 year old is a challenge, but luckily DH's workload has dropped a lot (teacher, only expected to do about ~5 hours of Zoom instruction per week), so he can take parenting lead. Still, its not an easy balance.

We too have put work into improving our outdoor living space. Our "lawn" was a dirt + weed disaster, so about 3 weeks ago we put sod in the front, seeded the back, and added some shrubs. And by we, I mean we hired someone lol. 

DS (3.5) is kind of living his best life. He loves being home with us, and we've gone on a bunch of fun nature adventures (various beaches, the Fells, Gore Place, etc). We spend a lot of time running around a local cemetery because its deserted, which feels a little sacrilegious, but I choose to think that the dead would enjoy a child frolicking around.

DD turns 1 at the end of the month which is bananas. I'm a little sad for her that she won't get the big 1st birthday party DS did, but she'll be none the wiser, ha. She's kind of crushing our souls lately because she is a sleep nightmare (3-4 MOTN wake-ups still, then up for the day at 5am), but hopefully she'll get it together soon.

My firm is requiring everyone to take 3 weeks of furlough in 2Q and I opted to do one week each month. Next week is a furlough week and I cannot wait to unplug and give the kids some more attention. Here's hoping the weather cooperates and we can go on some more adventures.

Also, I have now officially gained the Quarantine 15. Ooof. Time to rein it in. 

[scm1011]

New landscaping:

[RockNVoll]

scm1011 , I have to say again how much I love that you guys painted your house purple. Someday I want to see your space IRL! And I LOLed at the hiring people comment because that's exactly what I mean when I say "we" did any outdoor work I actually did try to plant a couple of shrubs in our front beds a weekend or two ago but the builders left so much rock and junk under probably like an inch of "soil" that I couldn't get my spade in more than an inch or two no matter where I tried. So I "need" to hire it out

D's schedule sounds like a nightmare; I'm sorry she's being rough on you! At least you don't have to then get presentable to show up in an office. I'm glad you don't sound upset about the furlough time. Have they said how long to expect the office to be closed for now?

On the fitness front, my weight is up and down and it's frustrating. And by "down" I mean it comes back to a still too-high number after going up several pounds. I tried intermittent fasting for the second time and, yet again, found that it does nothing for me. I don't think I'm even eating more than I was and I'm definitely getting more exercise so I don't know what to do. Probably means I need to cut back significantly on carbs but, ugh, who wants to do that? I do eat plenty of vegetables, too. So frustrating.

[scm1011]

Haha, thanks for the purple house love! I'd love for you to come see it in person when this is all behind us. I want to see your fancy new digs, too!

When the furlough was first announced I was a bit freaked out, but honestly, a week off after 3 weeks of balancing work and parenting has been a welcome relief. Between the beefed up unemployment and not paying a zillion dollars a month for daycare we're actually coming out ahead. The firm has been pretty insistent in their messaging that they don't see layoffs coming, so I'm trying to just enjoy the time off.

On the fitness front, I'm getting in the same amount of runs, but overall I'm sitting around more. My commute involved 3 miles of walking round trip and I think that helped keep my weight stable. That plus I tend to graze nonstop when I'm at home. So I need to start logging my food or getting off my ass more (preferably both lol).

[rikki]

May 15, 2020 9:08:13 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

New landscaping:

love it! We just got 5 of the weeping cherry trees. They’re so pretty. Not sure why I looked at this page. Lol

[scm1011]

rikki , yay I'm glad you did look! How's the reno going??

[liveintheville]

Things are getting a little messy here. Neither kid is a great distance learner so “school” takes a while. I still have to sit with L the whole time. And when he get an answer wrong he throws a 10 minute tantrum.
C has been lying to us about the work he’s done. So now I need to sit with him as well and this results in him being openly defiant and fights between us. So basically I’m over homeschooling.

[RockNVoll]

liveintheville , ugh, that sounds really rough, I'm sorry I know this is as tough on kids as anyone else, but I feel for all you parents who have their troubles layered on top of your own adult concerns. Sending you love and a virtual drink.

[liveintheville]

RockNVoll thanks things are going smoothly so far today. Of course Caleb still has 3 classes to do so who knows?
Actually I like having the company most of the time. But coordinating our time is difficult. They have overlapping class meetings and it’s confusing. But we’re in somewhat of a pattern.

[noodleoo]

Hi Guys! I'm still here! I never check this board anymore, mostly on MM Moms, ML and CEP. After a rough start, we've finally reach "acceptance" with being stuck working from home with 2 young children. My girls are 18 months and 5 years (just last week! happy birthday P!). I'm fortunate that I only work part time, I don't think I could handle a full time job plus taking care of the kids. It was so awful at first, but we've actually got a pretty good routine going and I feel like we've all finally adjusted to it.

In general though, I'm feeling more anxious lately as states start to open up and people around us seem to be going back to life as normal. I feel like we've always been very conservative compared to others (only leaving for grocery shopping, no playdates, no family visits, etc) while our neighbors have not been as careful, which has been especially difficult to explain to P. I used to love all the kids in our neighborhood but lately I've been wishing we lived in the middle of nowhere so I don't have to see them all playing outside our big bay window all the time.   But now, I'm struggling with relaxing rules a bit.  We had my sister's family over this weekend for a driveway visit and it was so nice to see them, although weird to not hug or share food, etc.  

P is supposed to start Kindergarten in the fall so now that's the new thing to worry about.  People on MMMs are talking about redshirting.  Ugh, I don't even want to think about it yet.  At least M is adorable, finally sleeping decently (knock on wood) and happily oblivious to what's going on.  Daycare should reopen on 6/29 and I can't even imagine being home without the kids after almost 12 weeks (i think?) of being together 24/7.  I need a head exploding emoji. 

[RockNVoll]

May 26, 2020 14:32:38 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

In general though, I'm feeling more anxious lately as states start to open up and people around us seem to be going back to life as normal.  

Yes, this is exactly how I feel!  I find myself having to give myself pep talks that I'm not the crazy one for remaining cautious, LOL.  That said, I'm starting to crack a little and we have gone into my parents' house a couple of times in the last month, but with masks on and staying at least 6' away.  We've visited my sister and her family in their backyard, again with similar precautions.  It just seems so impossible to stay away completely until a vaccine is available since that's still so far off.  The thing I'm saddest about is missing my baby niece's entire newborn/baby stage and not being able to spend time with her and my nephew 

So I'm definitely thinking of ways to do safe family time, but I'm not going to get my hair cut, teeth cleaned, etc. anytime soon.  I'm grateful my firm has already decided that we're not going back into the office until at least Sept. 1, and I strongly suspect I'll be wfh for the rest of the year.  It's going to get harder and harder to maintain the resolve to socially distance though, especially as the weather gets nicer.  Must stay strong!

[5kcandlesinthewind]

Hi! It's so great to "see" everyone! I was mostly hanging out over on CEP, but have taken a break from actually posting and just skim here and there. It was not helping my blood pressure.

We've been hanging in there, mostly. Harvard shut it down pretty early, so this is week 13 of WFH, I think? I've lost count - every day is 10 minutes long but also 300 hours. My H is with B all day, which is A LOT. And instead of slowing down, work has gotten even busier for me. We are all exhausted, all the time. And B would VERY much like to interact with people who are not us, haha. He comes out at least once a day to see who I'm talking to and try to chat as well. Thankfully, everyone's in the same boat, and VERY patient about it.

RockNVoll, good luck getting the outdoor area to your liking! I'm glad your company has been somewhat decisive about returning to the office. I doubt we're back on campus anytime soon, but no one will actually say it out loud.

scm1011, I love your house! It looks great. I'm sorry about the furlough, but I'm glad there's at least some of an upside. And I hope D gets it together sooner rather than later - I remember those days of no sleep, and I can't imagine layering that into *waves around*.

liveintheville, I'm sorry distance learning has been so rough. At least summer vacation is close-ish. Hopefully a break will help everyone.

noodleoo, how are our babies 5?? It's nuts! We have K orientation tonight, but I don't think they're going to be able to tell us anything since they just don't know what's going to happen. I assume it's either going to be a hybrid or fully remote, so hopefully some time to actually plan vs getting thrown into it will make a difference. Right now, he gets two half hour meetings a week with his pre-K class, most of which end in tears because he can't actually interact with his friends, so I'm nervous.

[RockNVoll]

May 28, 2020 9:28:43 GMT -5 5kcandlesinthewind said:

every day is 10 minutes long but also 300 hours. 

OMG, so much this.  Time has lost all meaning.

It's great to hear from you!  I can't imagine what educational institutions--from day care through universities--are going through right now trying to figure out what to do.  Sorry you're getting slammed on all fronts, but I'm glad people around you are being reasonable and understanding about it.

[noodleoo]

5kcandlesinthewind, I know, right?!? DD1 is so big it's nuts! How was K orientation? I'm curious if they said anything about how it might start in the fall. Do you think you'll send him back to pre-K if it opens before the fall? I keep going back and forth about daycare and it's driving me nuts. I'll probably send the kids back, but my friend isn't planning to and it's making me second guess my thoughts. No decisions yet since who knows if they will open on 6/29 or not.

[5kcandlesinthewind]

noodleoo, no real info, unsurprisingly. They did talk about how they've structured remote learning this year, with clusters of only 6-7 kids in each online meeting. I suspect if they go back on campus at all, it may be similar clusters over the course of the week. They said we won't hear until August, which is now just as far away as March, so it'll either feel like a million years or a minute. Nothing in between!
And he's in public pre-k, so he's officially done on the 15th. We have at least 2 1/2 more months of this, even if they're miraculously back full time in September. Good luck as you decide! I am not sure what I would do, but given how exhausted my husband and I are at all times, I might be willing to risk it a day or two per week just for a bit of a break. (Assuming all good precautions and no health variables, obviously.)

[noodleoo]

Jun 4, 2020 10:02:40 GMT -5 5kcandlesinthewind said:

noodleoo , no real info, unsurprisingly. They did talk about how they've structured remote learning this year, with clusters of only 6-7 kids in each online meeting. I suspect if they go back on campus at all, it may be similar clusters over the course of the week. They said we won't hear until August, which is now just as far away as March, so it'll either feel like a million years or a minute. Nothing in between!
And he's in public pre-k, so he's officially done on the 15th. We have at least 2 1/2 more months of this, even if they're miraculously back full time in September. Good luck as you decide! I am not sure what I would do, but given how exhausted my husband and I are at all times, I might be willing to risk it a day or two per week just for a bit of a break. (Assuming all good precautions and no health variables, obviously.)

We actually got an update from my daycare yesterday!  They are working on their plan for approval to reopen.  I read over the requirements and I actually feel ok about sending them back.   I'm sad because I think daycare will be less fun for them, but I work part time so they will only go 3 days a week.  The idea of being home without the kids and actually being able to work in peace is almost inconceivable at this point!  

My sister sent me a presentation from Amherst, MA (near her) on what they are considering for the fall.  The 2 current options for in person learning were either 1) staggering days or weeks to reduce # of kids in classrooms or 2) prioritized younger grades in school and having the older ones do distance learning.  It's tough but refreshing that they are being transparent about it.  

[drloretta]

Hi all! I don't ever come on here any more it seems but I wanted to see if anyone had posted. I enjoyed catching up on everyone's life.

Things are fine here. J has been working from home since March and it's working out pretty well. We each have some space to do our thing. Work hasn't really changed that much for me since I was WFH anyway. A lot of my team at work does WFH at least part time so we just do a lot more Zoom calls and Teams chats (they use that a ton anyway). They've tried to do some online happy hours so we can at least say hi to each other.

School went OK in the spring. S's school was balls to the wall the day she came home. Major projects were still on, I was spending a lot of time taking photos of work and sending it into her teachers. It was a bit of a struggle for a while but she got into the groove in the last few weeks. We just got their draft plan with all 3 of their return to school options. I was feeling pretty OK about her going back in person FT since it's a small school with only 13 kids in her class but now I'm freaking out again. The school has a pretty solid remote learning schedule so I'm kind of hoping that's how we start. And they're wiring up the classrooms so kids can learn from home whenever. We'll see what the state says after the 10th.

In the meantime she's in camp. They have been amazing. Very small groups that don't mix at all, lots of mask wearing and hand washing. She doesn't get to do all the activities they normally do but there's still swimming 2x/day (chlorine kills everything!) and she enjoys it for the most part. A couple of kids were giving her a hard time so we're working through that. She also likes a boy in her group and it is kind of adorable to hear her talk about him. She likes him because he's nice--yay!

My parents are in CA in full lockdown. My mom has asthma and COPD so she is terrified of getting COVID. MIL is sitting at home in her little Amish town so I'm not too worried about her. She's planning to come up for the entire period between Thanksgiving and New Years if things are still bad--pray for me.

The biggest challenge has been S not seeing her birth family--we haven't seen them since October and her little sister is almost 2 now. We can't go to PA so we're going to meet them in NY so no one has to quarantine. We are going to surprise S.

[liveintheville]

drloretta thanks for the update! Glad S is doing well. And the surprise trip to ny should be fun for her!
Our schools are doing full remote learning to start with. I’m really relieved about this because I’m so nervous about the kids going back. And in school board meetings the teachers have all said they prefer remote no matter how much they miss their students. They’re just not willing to risk their lives. Which is fair.
Also my dad might have Covid. He’ll get test results on Thursday. It seems pretty mild and may just be a random virus but of course they’re quarantining and treating it as if it were. The other problem is that we saw them last Thursday. So now we’re regularly checking temps and quarantining for 2 weeks as well. So far we’ve been fine. The biggest problem is not going grocery shopping. But hell the kids and I have been wearing pajamas all day so we’re adapting

[RockNVoll]

Glad you're all doing well for the most part, drloretta. Though I don't know how you have the patience and stamina to host a parent for two months--you're a saint.

Not much to report over here. We opened our bubble to my sister and BIL so we could help her with the kids--my nephew will be four at the end of the month, my niece is seven months. It's been great getting time with them again and I just hope everyone continues to be healthy. We're taking a calculated risk.

I finally engaged a landscape architect to help us with designing a plan for our front and back yards. I'm a little scared of the cost, but we really need the help and I think we'll enjoy it a lot once it's done. Since we're going to be stuck at home for who knows how long, I want something pretty to look at even more!

[RockNVoll]

Oh no, liveintheville, hope your dad ends up not having it and that the rest of you stay healthy! On the school front, it must also be such a relief just to know what the plan is. I can't believe how many places still don't know what they're going to do.

[liveintheville]

Aug 4, 2020 18:32:08 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

Oh no, liveintheville, hope your dad ends up not having it and that the rest of you stay healthy! On the school front, it must also be such a relief just to know what the plan is. I can't believe how many places still don't know what they're going to do.

Thanks. I’m hoping we’ll be fine. So far so good.

Ooh landscaping! Do you have pictures of the plans? I’m so excited to see the final project!

[RockNVoll]

Aug 5, 2020 9:59:02 GMT -5 liveintheville said:

Aug 4, 2020 18:32:08 GMT -5 RockNVoll said:

Oh no, liveintheville , hope your dad ends up not having it and that the rest of you stay healthy! On the school front, it must also be such a relief just to know what the plan is. I can't believe how many places still don't know what they're going to do.

Thanks. I’m hoping we’ll be fine. So far so good.

Ooh landscaping! Do you have pictures of the plans? I’m so excited to see the final project!

No plans yet, they're working on it now.  Might still be another couple of weeks away.  Good idea to share them here though; I'm sure I could use the feedback and suggestions!

[scm1011]

liveintheville, I hope your dad's test was negative! My teacher DH feels the same way the SPS teachers do; he has no desire to return to in-person teaching right now. Thankfully his school decided to go full remote (public charter, so even though they normally follow BPS's lead they don't have to). He's so relieved.

RockNVoll, that's great that you're able to see your niece and nephew again now (and I'm sure your sister and BIL appreciate the help!). I'd love to see your landscape finished project pics when its all finished!

drloretta, that's so awesome you're doing a surprise trip to see S's birth family - I bet she'll be thrilled

Life is chaotic around here. The kids have been back at daycare since 6/29 and so far so good. Enrollment is way down in DD's room (she's one of 4 babies) and in DS' room all the kids must wear masks (which has been going surprisingly well). I feel so conflicted about sending them while at the same time advocating for remote learning, but it was such a freaking nightmare managing a 1 and 3 year old while working 2 full time jobs from home. There are no easy answers here.

At my work we're full remote until at least January and then they'll re-evaluate. I'm relieved. I have no desire to return to my T commute or office high rise.

Both of my parents have had scary (non-COVID related) health issues over the last 6 weeks. My mom called an ambulance when she couldn't catch her breath (she's still being tested but its likely COPD) and then a week later my dad had to go in for emergency heart surgery. Then a couple weeks later he had a stroke. We're heading down the Cape to visit him this weekend for the first time since COVID (all hospital stays didn't allow visitors). I'm REALLY conflicted about potentially exposing him but I worry he may pass before a vaccine is available and I want to see him at least once more. We're going to stay outside as much as humanly possible.

[RockNVoll]

Oh scm1011, you've had a LOT going on! I've definitely entered a mental phase of accepting that every individual will need to take calculated risks of exposure for a variety of reasons, especially as the timeline for living with this virus continues to drag on. My sister and BIL decided to send my nephew back to daycare for the same reasons as you--it was making everyone crazy, ill-tempered, and unhappy to try to manage a household of two parents working FT from home while parenting an almost 4-year and a 7-month-old. It's an impossible choice trying to weigh your sanity against the potential of getting the virus. We all need to make our own choices at this point. That said, it still makes me crazy to see people do things like get together for regular volleyball games, but I probably shouldn't judge because who knows who might need that for their mental health.

I'm so sorry to hear about your parents' individual health scares. I can't imagine how hard it must've been for both you and them not to be able to see them in the hospital. I hope your mom is feeling better and gets a diagnosis soon, and I hope your dad recovers as much as possible. Big hugs to you.

On a lighter note, will definitely share landscaping pics if we ever get the project done. Should have plans by next week, will probably do a round of edits, then hopefully start planting sometime in September. I've completely given up taking care of the empty beds so they're not exactly "empty" anymore but instead are overrun with weeds--oops. Hard to motivate when I know we're probably digging it all up in another couple of months!

[scm1011]

Thanks, RockNVoll. And I definitely can relate to your sister and BIL since our kiddos are similar ages. It really is impossible to get anything done. DH and I were pretty much working in small chunks every waking hour of the day (in between getting snacks, managing tantrums, trying to actually give our kids the attention they were desperate for, etc) and it was unsustainable.

We had light landscaping done in April (sod, some shrubs) and the hot summer has pretty much ruined it all despite staying on top of daily watering. I'm hopefully the grass will come back to life next year, but man. So discouraging. Waiting for fall is the smarter move but with Covid we really wanted a more pleasant outdoor space for the summer.

[RockNVoll]

Aug 13, 2020 11:26:59 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Thanks, RockNVoll . And I definitely can relate to your sister and BIL since our kiddos are similar ages. It really is impossible to get anything done. DH and I were pretty much working in small chunks every waking hour of the day (in between getting snacks, managing tantrums, trying to actually give our kids the attention they were desperate for, etc) and it was unsustainable.

We had light landscaping done in April (sod, some shrubs) and the hot summer has pretty much ruined it all despite staying on top of daily watering. I'm hopefully the grass will come back to life next year, but man. So discouraging. Waiting for fall is the smarter move but with Covid we really wanted a more pleasant outdoor space for the summer.

Yeah, your kids and theirs are about the same ages.  And we're living somewhat parallel professional lives too--we're definitely not going back to the office until sometime 2021 and I'm in no hurry to do the T commute or deal with the logistics of working in a high-rise either.  I honestly can see us working from home for the entirety of 2021.

I remember your landscaping project pics, it looked so nice!  I'm so sad for you that the summer heat has done a number on it--it's definitely been a scorcher.  We have crab grass popping up all over the lawn and I'm nervous because in our last house it ended up completely taking over the front yard and that just sucked.  But we do organic maintenance on our yard and that doesn't really allow for any crab grass-specific treatments so we just have to hope that the other grass and clover we planted take back over once it cools down a bit (apparently weeds and crab grass absolutely love the excessive heat).  But I'm with you, waiting is hard and I feel you on wanting something pretty to enjoy while we're all stuck at home!

[liveintheville]

scm1011 I’m so sorry to hear about your parents. I’m glad you’re able to visit now. I hope everything is ok.
I understand the need for daycare. I’m fortunate to be a sahp. I have no idea what we’d do if I weren’t. I have a friend who quit his job and took up consulting because it was the only way they could do virtual learning.
My dad’s test came back negative. We’re all very relieved. But now they have to figure out what’s wrong with him. They’re waiting on blood results.
Our landscaping is a mess. But since they’re working on the house next door it doesn’t make sense to mess with it. They’ve been working on this house for over a year now.

[scm1011]

thanks, liveintheville. I'm glad your dad's test is negative!