Dear DotAndBuzz husband, I respect that you feel the way you feel and absolutely support you going to a hotel for two weeks to prevent your exposure to my parents. Please also plan on taking 2 weeks of your vacation for the following two weeks, because I feel like I will feel much better if I am also able to sit alone in a hotel in my underwear, star fishing in the bed, controlling the remote, sleeping in, @@@ not watching the kids, and ordering all the takeout. I'm so glad you came up with this great idea that will allow me to see my parents, for you to feel safe, and for both of us to get a break! Now, which credit card should I charge my hotel stay to?
I'm trying to wrap my head about what's going on elsewhere. Basically, if you're in the states seeing huge increases, is your life as it was back when everything shut down in March or are you in some sort of weird middle ground where you can still do some things you weren't able to do a few months ago but not everything?
in California. We *can* do a lot more than we actually do. Unlike the crowds off in Tahoe, we are still living like it’s March. The only exceptions are those that I would have done back then if it weren’t for the order - we do drive to hikes rather than only hike from home and we now swim Twice a week. But the pools situation is by reservation, roped off and distanced. The only indoor space other than home my kids have entered since mid March is the single outdoor entry bathroom at the pool area if they need to pee. I’ve been there and gone grocery shopping and the hardware store when we needed to fix something. Masks everywhere but in the actual pool.
I’m kidding but not. My mom is scheduled for surgery this fall and the plan is that the kids and I will move in with her after to help with recovery. But if that doesn’t work, DH has already said he’ll move to a hotel. And he’s do it under your circumstances, too.
ETA: ha! I hadn’t seen that he’d offer. Then it’s easy. And yes, if he’s in a public facing medical position he should be getting regular, asymptomatic testing. That’s standard around here. Whether he seeing your parents or not. How strange that he doesn’t think so. Our family motto is DH needs to be extra careful because in any room he enters, he’s most likely to be the carrier. Technically he he has higher risk clients, but he needs to provide them the distance and protection he wound of he were a carrier.
. And yes, if he’s in a public facing medical position he should be getting regular, asymptomatic testing. That’s standard around here.
Where is this standard? I know the medical system where my husband and neighbor work are not requiring this for people who are working with patients (they are both not working with people who have covid symptoms, though).
DotAndBuzz your husband is being pretty irrational. I would probably seek out a similar situation with my parents if circumstances were different. I don't see it happening any time soon because my parents help out my 97 year old Grandma quite a bit, so isolating after seeing us is not really possible.
DotAndBuzz I think the hotel sounds more risky, too.
I'm the more risk averse person in our house, and I know seeing my parents in 2 weeks is going to be good for them and us mentally. But, my mom works in the medical field and while they haven't had many COVID patients, nor does she seem them as a standard, she is still there 3 days a week and isn't able to quarantine herself before our visit. So we kind of have the reverse situation that most people do, like you.
I’m kidding but not. My mom is scheduled for surgery this fall and the plan is that the kids and I will move in with her after to help with recovery. But if that doesn’t work, DH has already said he’ll move to a hotel. And he’s do it under your circumstances, too.
ETA: ha! I hadn’t seen that he’d offer. Then it’s easy. And yes, if he’s in a public facing medical position he should be getting regular, asymptomatic testing. That’s standard around here. Whether he seeing your parents or not. How strange that he doesn’t think so. Our family motto is DH needs to be extra careful because in any room he enters, he’s most likely to be the carrier. Technically he he has higher risk clients, but he needs to provide them the distance and protection he wound of he were a carrier.
Oh thats interesting! Is it his medical system recommending regular testing or the health department? How often are they recommending to test?
I wonder if more health departments will follow that recommendation. It’s super easy to get tested here so they seem to be recommending anyone can get tested at anytime, I haven’t seen any specific recommendations for health care workers though. I plan to test if I’m symptomatic unless I hear new recommendations.
I’m kidding but not. My mom is scheduled for surgery this fall and the plan is that the kids and I will move in with her after to help with recovery. But if that doesn’t work, DH has already said he’ll move to a hotel. And he’s do it under your circumstances, too.
ETA: ha! I hadn’t seen that he’d offer. Then it’s easy. And yes, if he’s in a public facing medical position he should be getting regular, asymptomatic testing. That’s standard around here. Whether he seeing your parents or not. How strange that he doesn’t think so. Our family motto is DH needs to be extra careful because in any room he enters, he’s most likely to be the carrier. Technically he he has higher risk clients, but he needs to provide them the distance and protection he wound of he were a carrier.
It is absolutely understandable that someone who has a relatively high exposure risk would not want to enteract with family members who are, presumably, at higher risk of complications. Your husband going to a hotel in your scenerio makes a lot of sense. And it would make a lot of sense in DotAndBuzz's scenerio too if her husband was going to a hotel for the weekend that her parents were going to be in the house. But it sounds like he wants to go to a hotel for 2 weeks after her parents have been there basically to ensure he has no exposure to them in case they get Dot sick (because I don't think there is any evidence of it hanging around on surfaces for 2 weeks, so he would only need to spend an extra few days in a hotel if he was concerned about surfaces).
At the end of the day he needs to be comfortable, so I'd tell him to go to the hotel. But it certainly seems a bit rich coming from the person working outside the home and thus almost certainly BEING the biggest risk in this scenerio, that he considers seeing her family a risk unworth taking.
I'm assuming that Dot's parents are able to drive and don't need to fly to get to her house and also that they would actually isolate prior to coming and not "isolate" by only having one social engagement a day instead of their usual 4.
. And yes, if he’s in a public facing medical position he should be getting regular, asymptomatic testing. That’s standard around here.
Where is this standard? I know the medical system where my husband and neighbor work are not requiring this for people who are working with patients (they are both not working with people who have covid symptoms, though).
DotAndBuzz your husband is being pretty irrational. I would probably seek out a similar situation with my parents if circumstances were different. I don't see it happening any time soon because my parents help out my 97 year old Grandma quite a bit, so isolating after seeing us is not really possible.
california. They started monthly testing back in May and have moved it up to greater frequency so he’s going biweekly now. We aren’t open like some states so most people contracting the virus are getting it because they are still working outside the home with others. The testing isn’t just open to healthcare workers. Anyone working with the public is eligible - house cleaners, grocery workers, etc.
Hotels are like, $200+ per night. There is no way I'm indulging someone's anxiety with a nearly 3k hotel bill. And I agree that that's a higher risk of exposure, anyway. Does he not like your parents?
If your parents can come another weekend and completely isolate for 14 days before doing so, that's what I would suggest. Or, have your H stay in the basement for 2 weeks while they stay upstairs and interact with you.
DotAndBuzz If this was my husband, I’d tell him I love him very much, and would miss him if he went to a hotel four two weeks, but I am absolutely not waiting another 18 months to see my parents, period.
I just saw my mom for the first time in 5 months, when before we were like you, visiting monthly. It was so great and relaxing to hang out again. Realistically speaking, my mom is in good health but 79. I don’t have a whole lot more time left with her and I’m certainly not going to spend two whole years away from her. Even if your H is in healthcare, I feel like that’s just too much to ask.
I’m kidding but not. My mom is scheduled for surgery this fall and the plan is that the kids and I will move in with her after to help with recovery. But if that doesn’t work, DH has already said he’ll move to a hotel. And he’s do it under your circumstances, too.
ETA: ha! I hadn’t seen that he’d offer. Then it’s easy. And yes, if he’s in a public facing medical position he should be getting regular, asymptomatic testing. That’s standard around here. Whether he seeing your parents or not. How strange that he doesn’t think so. Our family motto is DH needs to be extra careful because in any room he enters, he’s most likely to be the carrier. Technically he he has higher risk clients, but he needs to provide them the distance and protection he wound of he were a carrier.
Oh thats interesting! Is it his medical system recommending regular testing or the health department? How often are they recommending to test?
I wonder if more health departments will follow that recommendation. It’s super easy to get tested here so they seem to be recommending anyone can get tested at anytime, I haven’t seen any specific recommendations for health care workers though. I plan to test if I’m symptomatic unless I hear new recommendations.
he works for the county with at risk but not identified patients (homeless, etc) and it’s been recommended for all of them. I don’t think it’s required but his colleagues are all getting tested. County health workers had cases early on without any known exposures so I think his colleagues are on heightened alert for spread through asymptomatic/presymptomatic/Unidentified cases. When the recommendation came down, they jumped on it. My phrasing for DotAndBuzz buzz’s husband might have been a bit of hyperbole, but him suggesting they shouldn’t get tested because he isn’t getting tested himself seemed circular and flawed 😀
Oh thats interesting! Is it his medical system recommending regular testing or the health department? How often are they recommending to test?
I wonder if more health departments will follow that recommendation. It’s super easy to get tested here so they seem to be recommending anyone can get tested at anytime, I haven’t seen any specific recommendations for health care workers though. I plan to test if I’m symptomatic unless I hear new recommendations.
he works for the county with at risk but not identified patients (homeless, etc) and it’s been recommended for all of them. I don’t think it’s required but his colleagues are all getting tested. County health workers had cases early on without any known exposures so I think his colleagues are on heightened alert for spread through asymptomatic/presymptomatic/Unidentified cases. When the recommendation came down, they jumped on it. My phrasing for DotAndBuzz buzz’s husband might have been a bit of hyperbole, but him suggesting they shouldn’t get tested because he isn’t getting tested himself seemed circular and flawed 😀
Ahh ok got it. When you said he should get regular testing I thought you were saying that because it’s required for your spouse. I was just wondering if that might be a new precedent that I hadn’t heard about. I work with homeless people and people living in shelters but it hadn’t occurred to me that I should get tested regularly, on top of seeing pts with Covid as well. I guess every health system is handling it differently. Luckily testing is so available here that I assume you could get tested everyday if you wanted!
We're pretty much doing the same as what we've been doing, which isn't all that different than what we were doing before all this started other than I'm working from home some days. We're just not all that social and we're homebodies.
This is basically us. Yes, my life is different, but it's not really all that different.
Cases here have been steady or declining for and hospitalizations have been declining about a month here. We have a reservation for a patio at a brewpub on Saturday and I know the owners are really good about distance/mask wearing etc and I'm super excited.
Post by StrawberryBlondie on Jul 7, 2020 18:43:32 GMT -5
DotAndBuzz I know it doesn't mean anything, but i think both your H and your mom are being unreasonable - but your mom a little bit and your H a huge amount.
My parents live 200 miles away and we usually see them about once/month. When we were allowed to have small gatherings again, we let them come visit basically right away (it'd been about 5 months since we saw them at that point). We all took reasonable precautions beforehand and tried to stay outside as much as possible during their visit, and it was fine - worth the small risk, IMO. Honestly, if my H wasn't cool with it I think i would've told him to leave for the weekend.
They also stayed in a hotel. Not for covid-related reasons, they always do that. Obviously don't stay at a crap hotel, but staying a couple nights in a hotel is generally considered pretty low risk.
but staying a couple nights in a hotel is generally considered pretty low risk.
Yes, definitely - but more risk than staying in their basement. If they’re visiting for several days they’re all getting exposed to each other anyway. Having her parents stay in a hotel doesn’t increase anyone’s safety in this situation.