[Reminder: please flag @ content or keep in school thread if appropriate]
I feel like a LOT of people I know are not doing well in the past 2 or so weeks. A lot of people who had been coping fine seem to be falling off a cliff and I fully include myself in that group. I wasn't sure what was going on with me, then I heard the same thing from my sister, then from several friends.
Then I saw this Chris Hayes tweet (text below) and wondered if this is a broad-based experience right now. How are you doing and if not well, is anything helping you cope?
[Tweet from @chrislhayes on July 6 that says "I'm curious if other people have had something in them break the last few weeks, where you realize "normal," or even a rough approximation of it is gone for a good long while. We've always known that at some level but I feel it intensely and viscerally right now."
I think for me, it felt like we were on the upswing, cases were going down in my area (TX) and that's when we left for Red Lodge and right after we left they started opening up again and BOOM. It's like March/April/May never happened. And that's disheartening for sure. Our cohort MBA classes are going to be virtual next semester and most of the people in our class will graduate in December so we're really missing out on a key experience of our program.
I feel bad answering that I've been doing fine. :/ Work was super busy leading up to my surgery, recovery was a nice break, and now I'm jumping back to work. I have a big house project that is kicking off that I'm excited about. I'm doing some decorating of my home office now that I know I'm here for the long haul. It's nice for right now. I did feel "in the depths of despair" in April, though. How I coped was a lot of crying.
I feel bad answering that I've been doing fine. :/ Work was super busy leading up to my surgery, recovery was a nice break, and now I'm jumping back to work. I have a big house project that is kicking off that I'm excited about. I'm doing some decorating of my home office now that I know I'm here for the long haul. It's nice for right now. I did feel "in the depths of despair" in April, though. How I coped was a lot of crying.
No, this is good! It's okay. How's the home office coming?
Post by seeyalater52 on Jul 9, 2020 8:50:08 GMT -5
I feel this. I am definitely off the deep end the past few weeks, and I was mostly fine before. For me part of it is that work stress rises exponentially for me the more the world is on fire, and it's on fire now and the work is relentless and changing constantly and I'm just exhausted and don't have my normal outlets to cope. I'm sad and unmotivated and angry and just generally blah feeling.
I feel bad answering that I've been doing fine. :/ Work was super busy leading up to my surgery, recovery was a nice break, and now I'm jumping back to work. I have a big house project that is kicking off that I'm excited about. I'm doing some decorating of my home office now that I know I'm here for the long haul. It's nice for right now. I did feel "in the depths of despair" in April, though. How I coped was a lot of crying.
No, this is good! It's okay. How's the home office coming?
So far just a lot of ideas. LOL! I'm going to go pick out 1-2 more super low light plants (I already have one that's been happy in my egress window well). That's something this pandemic has done, turned me into an indoor plant lover. I have some art prints coming. I need to con my husband into helping me re-arrange some of craft stuff I have (this room was planned as my craft room, but there hasn't been time). I'm going to make the wall behind me more interesting for when I have virtual meetings. Possibly with the art prints, possibly with something else.
Post by Velar Fricative on Jul 9, 2020 8:52:48 GMT -5
I'm actually feeling better despite working onsite at work (still mostly working from home though). I feel fine going to stores and with limited, safe socializing. But April was so, so awful so I guess anything is better than that?
I'm trying not to panic about what's going on elsewhere, even though I know deep down we will not be lucky forever. We cannot build a wall around our state, after all.
100% yes. And I think it has to do with the return of uncertainty (including @@@schools), concerns about safety, concerns about finance, and work life balance not returning to any sort of normal soon. Essentially, back to March feelings except this time we have a sense of the pain of the roller coaster, less hope, and are already 4 months in.
I can definitely see the sentiment. The main thing that I'm cranky about at the moment is how hot it is (and supposed to stay for a few weeks) and that we had to cancel our vacation to Alaska due to COVID (where it is much cooler). So, I really can't complain for myself.
I definitely feel sad about the millions of people suffering much worse and worry about how we'll manage to get our country back. Even if we get a workable COVID vaccine and Biden is elected and Trump agrees to a peaceful transition of power like his 44 predecessors, we still have a long road ahead of us.
Definitely. For me, it's a combination of realizing that the chance that we (as a country) had to do the right thing to slow and stop the virus is gone. We fucked it up and now what? Also realizing that the entire summer is just lost. I'm the kind of person who has fun/social things planned every day normally, and I have nothing to look forward to...indefinitely.
Yes because the COVID extra unemployment money stops in 2 weeks, and my H hasn’t gotten a single call back regarding a new job, and it’s been 3 months, and America is a whole cesspool of terrorists, idiots, and racists. I’m terrified every minute of this disease and Americans. And I believe he will win again to expand the terror.
@@@@ I was fine through the spring, but now with my job changing to a new grade I’ve never taught, and complete uncertainty about how school will look for both me and my kids who are going into K and 3rd, I’m feeling a ton more anxiety than at any point before.
I feel like I am less hopeful and but more accepting. I am tired though and honestly worried about how we'll personally manage in the next year or so. My husband's job seems secure but mine seems less so and family duties may end up forcing me to consider part time or a leave of absence. I hope to hire someone to help us but given the risks of working in someone's home I am just not sure I'll be able to find someone.
I had hoped the country would see NYC as a warning and learn from it. We did not so each state will learn its own painful lessons. If Biden wins and we can function as a country again with a CDC driven by science, a department of justice guided by the rule of law, EPA that actually protects the environment etc. However even if Biden wins it will take months to turn the tide.
Totally. Tears out of nowhere, which hasn’t happened since the beginning of this. We were watching a stream of the GD50 shows - 80K people dancing together and I want to be there again so badly but what if that’s gone forever? I know that sounds so stupid and frivolous; people are dying and I want to go to a concert, poor me. But it’s just, idk, representative of everything lost and how badly we’re failing at controlling this. People won’t even wear masks to the store and I’m just so angry about everything.
Definitely. I have this horrible feeling that this is the beginning of the end and I just don’t realize it. I feel like this will have life-long impacts on so many people in so many ways, even above and beyond those who were infected with the virus.
Definitely. For me, it's a combination of realizing that the chance that we (as a country) had to do the right thing to slow and stop the virus is gone. We fucked it up and now what? Also realizing that the entire summer is just lost. I'm the kind of person who has fun/social things planned every day normally, and I have nothing to look forward to...indefinitely.
I'm just going to ditto you because this is pretty much what I was going to say.
Added on, we moved to a new city two months before covid hit. So, I feel like I will never be able to meet people and make friends here.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Jul 9, 2020 9:09:07 GMT -5
I was really, really having a lot of trouble going into July. We took a small hiking trip (drove a few hours south to an air bnb cottage for 3 days) and just got out. We left our phones in our pockets, got away from home and work, saw some natural wonders, and I feel so much better.
I’m going to try to be conscious of letting go a little more often. We may not be able to take trips, especially if things close again, but we can get out, turn off for a while, and have quality me/us time.
And I do think school reopening talk has been upsetting people and making it worse for people, for a lot of reasons, including the reminder of how hopelessly entangled all our systems are.
Post by wanderingback on Jul 9, 2020 9:17:09 GMT -5
Thankfully no, I’m still feeling ok/good. Earlier on when things were bad here I had a few days of poor patient outcomes that got to me. I was worried about my partner in the beginning because before this he was always on the go, hanging out with friends 3-5 times per week. But I checked on him and he’s been busy with projects and said he’s feeling ok.
I’ve been doing a bedtime routine that I think I posted here that’s really been helpful. During the week, no phone 2 hours before bed. I do some French lessons, read, then short yoga by candlelight, followed by some tea while just sitting on yoga mat relaxing, then meditation in bed to fall asleep. In mornings I get up and workout. This has all been helpful for me, especially when things were bad here.
I also have started to say no to doing things without guilt or apologizing.Hugs to everyone who needs it.
Yes. The loneliness is really getting to me. I think a big part of it is realizing that in-person church community is gone for the foreseeable future. I absolutely support our church's decision not to meet, but I really miss it. I feel really "stuck" and there's nowhere to go. I want to start counseling again but I have no private place to talk. I'm also really angry/worried about the state of our country.
And then on top of all that I feel guilty for feeling that way, since I am fortunate to still be employed and not directly impacted by the virus.
I'm fine as long as I take it one day at a time. If I think too much beyond that, I get sad very fast. I am very fortunate that I am able to work from home and don't have kids, so I think a lot of the stressors people are experiencing are worse than mine. But looking ahead at months (or longer) without seeing family, spending the holidays here alone with my H instead of flying to see loved ones, not being able to travel or go to events (the stuff I basically live for), etc does definitely get me down. I do miss casual chit chat with coworkers and social plans. It sucks having weekends come and go without anything fun or special to do. The long term nature of this all is hard.
I am also despairing about the state of our country. This is not new - I've been despairing for years, I guess - but as cases are exploding I am more worried about the safety of people I care about and honestly about society collapsing. Problems such as returning to school seem unsolvable with our current leadership and culture. Even if we removed everyone in power from their roles, we still have a culture of selfishness and anti-intellectualism that worries me a lot, a lack of policies that actually help people, and a system so screwed up that I don't think it will be fixed in my lifetime.
Yes and it is because both personally and professionally life is in absolute chaos. I am upset that our collective sacrifice was for nothing. And now I know it is only going to get worse.
@@@@ The fall school situation is what is officially breaking me. I could do it in the spring because it was a short term thing. I never expected normalcy. But this all looks so much worse.
Totally. Tears out of nowhere, which hasn’t happened since the beginning of this. We were watching a stream of the GD50 shows - 80K people dancing together and I want to be there again so badly but what if that’s gone forever? I know that sounds so stupid and frivolous; people are dying and I want to go to a concert, poor me. But it’s just, idk, representative of everything lost and how badly we’re failing at controlling this. People won’t even wear masks to the store and I’m just so angry about everything.
While technically frivolous, I can relate. I love going to events - concerts, sporting events, plays, etc. A huge part of that is the experience of doing something with a community of people. I don't miss watching sports, I miss cheering for a team with a bunch of other fans. A team I follow on social media posted something a while back about "when we're all together again, we're going to cheer louder than ever before" and it honestly made me cry. I can't wait for that moment. I do think we'll get back to that kind of stuff eventually, though.
I realized how stressed and anxious I was just under the surface when I started reacting viscerally to a stupid share that I saw on FB a few times:
@
Schools will announce fall plans soon. I imagine everyone will be unhappy. Remember, you help determine your child's attitude. Be angry or sad in private. Discuss your frustrations away from the kids. Set them up for success by teaching them to make the best of it. Be a sounding board for their worries and disappointments. Stay positive and model perseverance.
I mean nothing is inherently bad or wrong with that, but I am a working mom, in a dual career marriage, with a rising kindergartener and an infant. School reopening is a seriously touchy subject around this house. I strenuously object to, e.g., a CFBC cousin and another cousin who has one college-aged kid -- so people who do not share any of my particular struggles/flavors of angst/challenges -- preach-telling what I need to be/feel about it and where I'm allowed to be/feel it. I have entirely enough pressure to manage my small kids and my job, stop heaping on more.
I am more and more often feeling like I need to step away from social media lately.
Post by somersault72 on Jul 9, 2020 9:33:56 GMT -5
Ditto eddy especially about schools. The county next to where I live (but I work in), is having an explosion of cases right now. Yet bitch, bitch, bitch about wearing masks. How many people have to get sick or die before some people give a shit? I feel like under no circumstances will everything shut down again (which I can understand, I guess), but how bad is it gonna get???
Susie,I deleted social media off of my phone. I felt like it was just an anxiety spiral and there was nothing productive. People are either being assholes or are so caught up in the misery theatrics and share scary shit all day. I feel much better. I still read the news. But then I walk away and don't have to read everyone's hot takes.
For me, it's been all the talk of schools reopening. I'm feeling devalued. There's also.some unrest/bickering with H, and that's not helping. Adding in the inability to escape in any way just makes me feel... caged? I'm definitely struggling. It's going to be hard to start teaching again, because I do NOT feel like I've had a break.
Yes. I've been teetering for months, but the past week or two the months and months of stress and everything being too much is officially too much.
Earlier this week, we had a tree service out because we had some dead limbs in a few of our trees. They cut one tree back way more than I expected and I just sat in my home office window watching and sobbing. Like, that was the thing that broke me amidst everything else.
I'm feeling worse mostly because my employment gap is getting uncomfortably long and I know I need to job hunt despite the pandemic and economy not having improved.
@@@ When I was laid off in April, it was so much better to not have both of us working full time without childcare. Now, though, we still have almost two months before we might get back in to our daycare, and cases/deaths are rising again across the country. I don't know whether I'm more afraid I'll get a job before our family has support, or that I won't get a job and my career will start to be seriously at risk.
Yes absolutely. Partly because I got a stupid injury and can barely hobble around my house let alone maintain my yard or go for walks or anything outside my yard.
@ I am nearly in a panic about school. It starts in 5 weeks, 100% in person, and feels totally unsafe. Limited information has been put out about it, but safety precautions seem minimal. So I am left with hoping teachers strike or that hospitalizations rise enough in the next month that the governor shuts everything down again? Bad bad options that are not in my control and seem immune to all my anti anxiety therapy tools. I spiral into they will go to school, get sick, get me sick, I won't be able to take care of them or work, we'll have no money and we lose our house and everything.