It was easier for me in the spring. Things were shutting down and it felt like there was some group willingess to get this thing under control. And now....this is not that. Now I see all these countries who are able to contain it, while we are just letting it spread like wildfire. It's the daily reminder of how few people in this country feel any sort of civic or moral responsibility to do the hard work needed to get us through this, and of how many people are just comfortable with a 9/11 of Americans dying every single week.
Knowing the possibility of a better way to do this, and being denied it is what makes this all feel so awful. And knowing that with each day we do nothing, the possibility of normalcy gets further and further away.
I do miss that “we’re all in this together” feeling. I’m like, really? This had to become a culture war? THIS?
@@@@@ A lot of high school seniors and other graduates in my parents neighbor had yard signs with #inthistogether in May/June. I thought “um, nice sentiment but we’re not! The politicians are totally willing to sacrifice some lives to open the economy.”
I’m really not doing well. But I’ve had some unrelated problems come up, on top of everything else going on. My 13 year old dog passed away 2 weeks ago from an aneurysm or stroke, just completely out of the blue one night after dinner, and my 14 year old dog has not been handling it well. Plus, he came down with pancreatitis a few days after and he’s been struggling through that. I thought he was making a turn for the better yesterday, but he’s doing bad again today. I feel numb. Like I don’t even know how to handle all the things going on, so I’m just not handling anything.
Emotionally, I think I'm doing okay, but God, I miss "normal" so much. It feels like it wasn't that long ago, yet it's impossible to get back to. Intellectually, I know it's never quite going to be quite the way it was, but sometimes I still get this weird and frustrated feeling of, "We were *just* living our regular life, WTF happened and how did things go sideways so fast?!"
I am also increasingly uneasy about my own chances with covid. Certainly, the odds are in my favor, but ... I also find myself starting to wonder, as things get worse in terms of spread. I'm a year older than Nick Cordero, so his death scares me. Plus it seems like some of the studies I'm seeing are stacking slight increases in not-great odds against me in ways that are raising my anxiety -- I have type A blood and that seems to be strongly associated with more severe symptoms, and I just saw a recent study that having Epstein-Barr virus is correlated with worse symptoms, and I also have that. I already feel like EBV contributes to me having a pretty shitty immune system (whenever any sickness goes through my family, I get it the worst), so I'm not surprised (but it's kind of a chicken-or-egg thing IMO, does covid trigger an active EBV recurrence or do you get worse covid if you already have one going?).
I dunno. I start thinking, I'm sure Nick Cordero, or any of the younger/middle-aged people who have died of covid, didn't think four or five months ago that they would be dead. But they are. And I'm anxious about how things would go for me. How do you reconcile that with just carrying on with life and doing the dishes and cooking? With making choices about @@@ sending my kids back to school? And every day our knowledge about this virus is changing, but it seems like a lot of what is being learned about its impacts make it seem worse and scarier, both in terms of how it attacks the body now and what short- and long-term effects might turn out to be. Maybe I'll be one of the people who gets it and never knows, or maybe I'll get it and end up in the hospital, with lingering brain damage or a stroke, or maybe six months or a year from now I'll look back at this time and wish I could get back to feeling as normal/good as I do now. And there's no way of knowing. Or, what if it's not me but it's DH? Confronting that level of mortality is profoundly disturbing and I can't think about it for too long. And then I feel guilty for dwelling on it when I'm not even in the most high-risk group(s).
So to answer the question, I don't know if I feel worse overall right now, but there are definitely some fears coming into focus that I didn't have at this level earlier in the pandemic.
I have GAD and panic disorder. I also struggle with health anxiety. I've had to unfollow a lot of friends on Facebook because of all the COVID posts that make. In general, I'm OK with the information but recently there has been a lot of doom and gloom that I am not coping well with.
My health anxiety has become to ramp up recently. I'm not fixated on COVID, but rather other diseases that may be severe but I won't be able to get treatment BECAUSE of COVID. I know it's irrational and I regularly work with my therapist. I take medication, too. Sometimes, it's just not enough to help rationality come to the forefront.
I'm also just tired. Not necessarily physically tired, but mentally and emotionally.
I've been up and down. Right now, I'm in an OK place. I think May was actually hardest for me. That was when mask wearing really started to get political on my Facebook feed. Also, I wanted to do more to help the community, but I struggled with finding the time and then I felt guilty. That made me feel even worse. Work was also super stressful from mid-April to the beginning of June. I was able to take a few days off last week, and even though I didn't get a lot done around the house like I hoped, the time was away from work was worth it to recharge a bit. I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat at work because I applied for a promotion and I want to go into the interview with a good attitude. I'm also staying off Facebook for the most part. It was really brining me down. I check it every couple of days, but I scroll past the posts from the couple people I know will make my blood boil. I spent much of June arguing with them and it fell on deaf ears.
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ I think May was so difficult because of kids and their school situation. None of my 3 kids did particularly well with home school. I felt like a failure for not making my elementary school kids do more and for not keeping better tabs on my 7th grader. Every Sunday I looked forward to a new week with high hopes of doing better and every week I fell flat. The kids got out of school almost a month ago and I haven't even allowed myself to think about next year. Luckily the school district just did pass/fail and they did enough to pass on to the next grade. Our district doesn't start back until Aug 31 so I still have 6 weeks to keep my head buried in the sand.
We finally got our new swing set that we ordered in May. H has spent the last week putting it together and he's almost done. And, I dragged out the surf-n-slide (like an elevated slip n slide) last week. We didn't use it at all last summer but it held up surprisingly well. They played with it Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. It's a pain to set up in the heat but well worth it. I'm glad they have stuff to do outside again. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
The hardest part right now is my dad. He lives in TX and has a lot of health issues. He's been in the hospital twice in the past 2 months. I'd like to go see him, but I know that's not safe for him. I hope he understands. My biggest worry is that he gets Covid, because he wouldn't survive. I hope there is a safe way to see him in the next year. I haven't seen him since last summer. I had planned to take a trip to visit him this summer.
I’m feeling much worse about some things like grocery shopping which is giving me anxiety to the point of panic attacks in the parking lot. At first it was just people walking around looking like stunned zombies following arrows and keeping 2m away. Now I’m finding people being very aggressive and rude which could be stemming from their own anxiety however I am constantly on edge being in public anywhere now. I had to go get my sons some shorts from an actual store last week and it was horrifying being around people like that. We’d been doing all our clothing shopping online but I figured a trip to Old Navy would be okay. It was not. It’s going to take me a while to feel comfortable enough to put myself back into public and around people. I’m already a titch agoraphobic and unfortunately I am not able to take anti anxiety medication so I push through what I have to for now.
Our school plans here will be announced soon. I’m really hoping at the very least my going into grade 7 son will be fulltime as online learning was a huge fail for him. We had the option in June to send our kids 1-2x/w depending on the grade and school. However my youngest son was able to go fulltime for that month which was amazing for him as he was pretty much in a class with 2-3 kids and was able to catch up quickly.
The tourists coming from the US is really bothering me and causing a great deal of anxiety about how our area could slip back into phase 1 with out breaks.
I’m in a much better place financially and we are all much happier with our current home and I am trying to focus on positives more.
The swooping between pessimism and optimism is emotionally draining however and I know my kids are feeling anxious about what the rest of the year is going to look like for them as well. It’s a day by day thing and I try to be as easy on myself as I can about not being perfect right now.
I waver back and forth. I'm single, so outside of work I really don't have anyone I can hang out with in person. I've been trying to date in a socially-distanced, safe way, but then my date and I hugged and I've been stressing about that while also just really, really, really wanting someone to hug and snuggle me. It's a tough time when physical touch is so important to you. There are a lot of thoughts and fears I know I'm shoving to the back of my mind because I'm not sure how well I'd cope otherwise. My anger about the kind of work I do being valued while the people doing it being disregarded has subsided somewhat, but now I'm angry on behalf of teachers, aides, and everyone else who works at schools.
One thing I'm trying to do too help myself is really focus on protecting my energy and boundaries in a variety of ways, including mediation and visualizations.
The only thing that is helping me right now is knowing we are going away for a few days next week.
@@@ Doing the single, working parent thing since March with no break has been exhausting. I can't wait to go socially distance sit on a beach and leave all of this behind for a few days.
I think if LePage we’re still Governor, I’d be a seething ball of rage every day, so I’m relieved that now we have Janet Mills and CDC director Shah, who are crushing this, and giving awesome, inspiring speeches during their briefings. These are the kind of Maine leaders I grew up with, and it’s nice to feel proud again.
OTOH this all has somewhat radicalized me. In the next few weeks, H and I are planning to withdraw all our retirement savings from the stock market and park it for the time being. This isn’t from fear, but more disgust at buying into a system that squeezes the poor to benefit the rich, who are, functionally, us. This pandemic has shown us just how corrupt capitalism has become in the US, and H and I no longer want to profit from that. I am getting excited about investing directly into our community and seeing where that idea takes us.
I think if LePage we’re still Governor, I’d be a seething ball of rage every day, so I’m relieved that now we have Janet Mills and CDC director Shah, who are crushing this, and giving awesome, inspiring speeches during their briefings.
Completely agree. So thankful that our government, commissioners, and CDC director are science believing adults who will to follow it where it leads.
LePage posted a picture on FB of himself putting the ME plates back on his car. Comments were falling all over him. All trying to be more in love with home than the last guy to comment. Puke.
@@ I hate that they moved the briefings to 2 pm. Having them at noon was perfect for nap time. 2 is wake up time, I’ve fallen way off the last couple week and really to miss the stay the course pep talk.
You know Shah’s life must be hard right now, and no one goes into state CDC director to become famous, but he always communicates calm. I want someone to do an Obama Anger Translator type skit with one of his speeches. youtu.be/G6NfRMv-4OY
My H and I discussed that based on the cases in GA, we need to go back into lockdown. I got laid off yesterday. It’s a lot. I’m not really okay at all.
@@@@@@@@@@@@ I am 100% positive I was chosen for layoffs due to my children. My 4 year old is supposed to be starting pre-k. If I get a new job, I cannot have her home this time. But my anxiety spikes every time I even think of sending her. They aren’t going to be wearing masks. I also have a 10 month old. I have no idea what to do. None. And I really, really miss my parents. They live 12 hours away.
Post by sillygoosegirl on Jul 9, 2020 19:26:20 GMT -5
I'm a mess lately. I really thought my state was going to beat COVID, but now we have among the highest rates of spread in the country. Our pod ended this week, due to the other household choosing to take on more risk in spite of the huge rise in new cases, so while we will seek a new pod (after quarantining), I'm super stressed about finding the right people. I have a medical condition that probably makes me at high risk from COVID (*rare disease so really unknown, but probably), and I'm really having a hard time handling the feeling that society thinks people like me are expendable. Really, everything about reopening is stressing me the hell out, since the more society reopens, the more the virus will spread, and the more my household will need to isolate. I really thought my state was doing everything right and was being careful enough about reopening, with enough contact tracers, testing, and few enough active infections, but evidently not. Yet I see zero signs of anyone wanting to actually put on the breaks.
Also, we're supposed to be on our summer vacation in Canada right now, that we'd been planning for 2 years, and even though I've known it would be canceled for ages now, it's still adding to my general sadness to know that I'm supposed to be on vacation right now.
@@@ I'm also feeling a ton of mom-guilt over my poor health being the reason my social butterfly kid can't go back to preschool/daycare like most of our friends have done at this point, go to public school in the fall as she's been so looking forward to, etc. Even though I'm calmer than I would otherwise be for having made the decision that our family will homeschool, the school discussion is still stressing me the hell out. Feeling like my kid would be better off it I didn't live in her household is a very very bad feeling. Having the AAP tell me my child belongs in school full time, social distancing and virus risk be damned, when I feel like that means I would need to move out and live somewhere else and only see her over Skype is very difficult to take. Even with the privilege to opt-out, this is stretching my mental health to it's limits. And I'm really angry about the implications of all this for other parents and student and teachers and staff who are similarly unhealthy, but aren't going to have the option to opt-out. Okay, that really only scratches the surface of what I'm angry about re: COVID, but yeah. Everything sucks.
I’m actually feeling much better. I do elective treatment to fix smiles and bites. It gives me a lot of hope that people are still coming in and choosing to start treatment even though our smiles will be covered by masks for the foreseeable future. That means a lot to me. Also Fauci threw dentists under the bus in a WaPo article so I’m glad my patients and community are using their best judgment to come into my office and trust me. That is also reassuring.
I have been having a very hard time lately. We have been staying home, wearing masks if we have to go out, not socializing, working from home @@@ with a 3 year old and a 7 year old for 17 weeks now. It’s miserable. Then I get on Facebook and our city’s Facebook group is full of people telling those of us who are trying to do SOMETHING to help that if we’re scared we can just stay home. I don’t fucking want to just stay home. I want everyone to fucking do the right thing so we can try to control this so I don’t have to stay home all the time. So @@@kids can go back to school and daycare with less risk.
Post by wanderingback on Jul 9, 2020 22:50:37 GMT -5
A lot of people have noted Facebook and news stories making them angry and more anxious.
Highly recommend getting rid of Facebook if it’s causing you problems and lessening intake of the news, especially first thing in the morning and before bed. It really can make a difference to feeling better!
I’m so sorry to hear the struggles each one of you is facing. I’m sorry I’m miserable too. I’m sorry we are experiencing collective trauma and suffering. We can control our habits that keep us and our households safe. We can control our news consumption. Who we interact with on social media, or who and what we even see. We can follow a bunch of humor and hobby accounts, inspirational accounts, poets, artists, tattoo artists, street artists. We can go for walks and listen to interesting podcasts or audiobooks. We can use our library’s electronic collections and write letters to our city council on how that community resource mattered during this time of crisis to advocate for them. We can find 11 minutes to do a yoga by Adrienne (sp?) meditation or practice. We can create playlists of fun music. [@ We can start writing encouraging messages to local teachers and school custodians / other staff to send here and there during the year.]. Same with medical staff. Nursing home residents. We can keep the faith in science. We can choose to start our days by sending a text to say hi to someone we haven’t talked to in a while. Those still employed can start thinking about the holidays for how to support families in need which will be significant this year. We can buy or create/print tons of birthday cards and send them. We can sleep with a cushy stuffed animal or blanky and be our little selves again. We can subscribe to an email poem a day (you guys love when I post poems!) (I talk to St. Jude all the time, patron saint of hopeless cases). We can light nice smelly candles while we do things. We can livestream the Northern Lights. We can do 1 item on our to-do list. To quote someone awesome, yes we can. Yes. We. Can.
I’m going to go do one of these things right now and affirm my faith in living. I will hold each of you in my heart while I do it. May you find some peace and even a single moment of ease today. Yes we can.
I have good days and bad. I really, really miss pre-March life.
I have noticed that my capacity to deal with little things is just gone. What should we plan for dinner? Do I do X now or wait? Like truly paralyzed by indecision on little things that don't matter. This is not like me at all but I think I'm so busy holding it together in other places that I just can't.
I do much better on days when I say off the internet. I also bought an IC4 and that has saved me. I am not going back to the gym anytime soon so giving myself a new challenge and something to do was the right call. At the moment I am dealing with a back injury but I can't wait to get back on once it heals. Being able to swim has also saved summer for me.
@@@
The hardest thing for me is how this impacts DD. It is truly unfair that so many kids are missing huge chunks of their lives through no fault of their own. It just makes me hate Trump all over again because if he had shown even a tiny amount of leadership we would be in a different position. The school decision is going to break me. Do I send DD back full time to a school in a hot zone where she will be with her friends and teachers she knows? Or choose virtual and keep her isolated where she will end up with a teacher she doesn't know at all? And that is just the tip of the worry.
Post by mrsukyankee on Jul 10, 2020 7:32:10 GMT -5
I'm getting angry a lot more. I'm handling it, but anger is seething at times. Our gov't is making a hash of this by making random decisions that don't appear to make sense. It's like they see what Trump and the Republicans are doing and think, yes, we should do this too. So, now, our gyms, pools and all beauty salons/tattoo parlours will be opening up this month. Basically, it's back to normal except that businesses are meant to do the work to make it okay for them and their workplace, but many are not doing a thing. Ugh. Angry.
On the other hand, my local pub opened up and they are doing the right things with social distancing, mask wearing, reserved seating and encouraging people to use the outside seating. We went with our puppy for an early evening drink (socialisation) and we felt safe - the outside space has a cover that is about 30 feet above the floor but open on two ends, no one was within 6 feet of us and we could see that the level of cleaning was much stricter than before. Going to the pub made me feel more normal - it was nerve-wracking, but normalising in some ways too.
I’m actually feeling much better. I do elective treatment to fix smiles and bites. It gives me a lot of hope that people are still coming in and choosing to start treatment even though our smiles will be covered by masks for the foreseeable future. That means a lot to me. Also Fauci threw dentists under the bus in a WaPo article so I’m glad my patients and community are using their best judgment to come into my office and trust me. That is also reassuring.
I was surprised by that article and also how he talked about non-emergent doctor visits.
I feel more isolated than ever. We moved almost 2 weeks ago. So we're near my family but they aren't being as cautious as I'd prefer (going to parties, weddings etc) so we haven't seen much of them. My extended family always goes on a week long vacation together in August and it's going on as planned. It's at a WorldMark with tons of shared elevators & hallways & frequent turnover of guests and staff. My family won't be attending. It makes me feel like my family are the crazy one because out of my parents, 4 siblings & BILs, we are the ones making safer choices. Also, 2 siblings, myself and my parents are in a hotspot in our state!
@@@ I feel so badly for my DS (4) because in addition to moving him from the only home he's ever known, we can't go out and make new friends in our new city or see my family on any kind of regular basis. (We are isolating from them after they attend parties or go to weddings.) He's sad and anxious and acting out and regressing. And I'm sad his one year of preschool won't be happening... I SAH and can pull him and we probably will do that although we haven't decided for sure. @@@
I thought I was doing really well. For the most part, that’s true. My family’s doing well and everyone seems to be happy.
@ But something in me snapped last month and I decided I needed to paint my daughter’s room. Then afterwards I needed to do my room. Then my son’s. I just finished painting one of our bathrooms that had horrible 1980s wallpaper and an atrocious pink sponge textured wall. I need to change the flooring on it too. Then I’ll get to our other bathroom. The compulsion to do all of this definitely stems from my needing to control something and give me something to do. At least it’s constructive? It also exhausts me, which is helpful to get me to sleep.
Yesterday I had to go to Home Depot and was planning to use their curbside pickup, only to find it closed. So I put my mask on and went inside. This store was so disorganized. I was in there for 30 minutes waiting for them to find the stuff they sent me an email telling me was ready to pickup. So many people passed by be no more than a foot or two and while I know they didn’t stay and we were all (But one person!) wearing masks, I broke down inside a bit. It’s definitely anxiety related because I’m still obsessing over it. My husband does all of the shopping so this was my first time in an actual big store in four months and I was not mentally prepared for it. Blargh! I hope this anxiety passes quickly!
I shouldn’t complain. We’re all healthy, my and MH’s jobs weren’t affected, the handful of COVID-infected friends we know of have recovered and seem OK. New Jersey seems to have done a decent job handling things and stores/restaurants/outdoor activities have been reopening in the last few weeks. We’ve been able to spend time with loved ones in safe ways.
@@@
We have a 3 year-old and pulled her from daycare in mid-March. She’s a good kid but she needs *constant* attention, and it’s really draining. MH (Teacher who has been WFH since March and is off for the summer) is also a complainer by nature, which I hate, and now that we’re all up each others’ asses all day/every day and the two of them just follow me around the house complaining, I’m just emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’m just here to serve meals and wash clothes and listen to the two of them constantly whine at me. I’m tired of making constant decisions about lunch/dinner, and having to do bigger shopping trips than normal because I don’t want to forget anything I need or might conceivably want within the next two weeks. MH hasn’t gotten any word about if/when he needs to return to the classroom and keeps bitching about it. I’m tired of having to constantly negotiate with a three year old, and honestly it’s bringing up bad memories of my childhood when I’d get screamed at or smacked or shoved up against a wall for far far less, and I’m getting resentful that I constantly need to be patient and sweet while explaining for the 40th time that, yeah, you *do* have to wash your hands after touching the toilet all over and making me hang out in the tiny goddamn bathroom for 20 minutes. And I don’t know how much of this is related to COVID or if it’s just me being generally unhappy, because I’ve been dealing with a lot of this same resentment since before quarantine started.
It’s all going to be like this until at LEAST September, if my H can return to work and we can send DD back to daycare. And that’s if the rest of these selfish shitheads around us don’t fuck everything up by breathing all over each other and not following the simple-ass rules.
I shouldn’t complain. We’re all healthy, my and MH’s jobs weren’t affected, the handful of COVID-infected friends we know of have recovered and seem OK. New Jersey seems to have done a decent job handling things and stores/restaurants/outdoor activities have been reopening in the last few weeks. We’ve been able to spend time with loved ones in safe ways.
@@@
We have a 3 year-old and pulled her from daycare in mid-March. She’s a good kid but she needs *constant* attention, and it’s really draining. MH (Teacher who has been WFH since March and is off for the summer) is also a complainer by nature, which I hate, and now that we’re all up each others’ asses all day/every day and the two of them just follow me around the house complaining, I’m just emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’m just here to serve meals and wash clothes and listen to the two of them constantly whine at me. I’m tired of making constant decisions about lunch/dinner, and having to do bigger shopping trips than normal because I don’t want to forget anything I need or might conceivably want within the next two weeks. MH hasn’t gotten any word about if/when he needs to return to the classroom and keeps bitching about it. I’m tired of having to constantly negotiate with a three year old, and honestly it’s bringing up bad memories of my childhood when I’d get screamed at or smacked or shoved up against a wall for far far less, and I’m getting resentful that I constantly need to be patient and sweet while explaining for the 40th time that, yeah, you *do* have to wash your hands after touching the toilet all over and making me hang out in the tiny goddamn bathroom for 20 minutes. And I don’t know how much of this is related to COVID or if it’s just me being generally unhappy, because I’ve been dealing with a lot of this same resentment since before quarantine started.
It’s all going to be like this until at LEAST September, if my H can return to work and we can send DD back to daycare. And that’s if the rest of these selfish shitheads around us don’t fuck everything up by breathing all over each other and not following the simple-ass rules.
I kind of get your H being upset and having anxiety about the unknowns of the upcoming school year. But the bolded would put me over the edge if H was on break and I was still expected to do all of this. What does your H do around the house? Maybe a project would keep him occupied - does a room need painting or something? Or maybe he can do the laundry and cook the meals.
As for the huge shopping trips - I've stopped trying to shop for 10-14 days at a time. I go shopping at least 1x a week. I wear my mask, wipe down the cart, use hand sanitizer as soon as I walk out of the store. It's much less exhausting than trying to think of everything we might possibly need and having my cart so full I can barely make it to check-out without something falling ou.
I shouldn’t complain. We’re all healthy, my and MH’s jobs weren’t affected, the handful of COVID-infected friends we know of have recovered and seem OK. New Jersey seems to have done a decent job handling things and stores/restaurants/outdoor activities have been reopening in the last few weeks. We’ve been able to spend time with loved ones in safe ways.
@@@
We have a 3 year-old and pulled her from daycare in mid-March. She’s a good kid but she needs *constant* attention, and it’s really draining. MH (Teacher who has been WFH since March and is off for the summer) is also a complainer by nature, which I hate, and now that we’re all up each others’ asses all day/every day and the two of them just follow me around the house complaining, I’m just emotionally exhausted. I feel like I’m just here to serve meals and wash clothes and listen to the two of them constantly whine at me. I’m tired of making constant decisions about lunch/dinner, and having to do bigger shopping trips than normal because I don’t want to forget anything I need or might conceivably want within the next two weeks. MH hasn’t gotten any word about if/when he needs to return to the classroom and keeps bitching about it. I’m tired of having to constantly negotiate with a three year old, and honestly it’s bringing up bad memories of my childhood when I’d get screamed at or smacked or shoved up against a wall for far far less, and I’m getting resentful that I constantly need to be patient and sweet while explaining for the 40th time that, yeah, you *do* have to wash your hands after touching the toilet all over and making me hang out in the tiny goddamn bathroom for 20 minutes. And I don’t know how much of this is related to COVID or if it’s just me being generally unhappy, because I’ve been dealing with a lot of this same resentment since before quarantine started.
It’s all going to be like this until at LEAST September, if my H can return to work and we can send DD back to daycare. And that’s if the rest of these selfish shitheads around us don’t fuck everything up by breathing all over each other and not following the simple-ass rules.
I kind of get your H being upset and having anxiety about the unknowns of the upcoming school year. But the bolded would put me over the edge if H was on break and I was still expected to do all of this. What does your H do around the house? Maybe a project would keep him occupied - does a room need painting or something? Or maybe he can do the laundry and cook the meals.
As for the huge shopping trips - I've stopped trying to shop for 10-14 days at a time. I go shopping at least 1x a week. I wear my mask, wipe down the cart, use hand sanitizer as soon as I walk out of the store. It's much less exhausting than trying to think of everything we might possibly need and having my cart so full I can barely make it to check-out without something falling ou.
I didn’t mean to imply that MH is lazy or unhelpful. He does a ton of yard work, all the vacuuming, does most of the childcare while I’m upstairs working, dishes, occasionally makes lunch for everyone. Woodworking too. I’m just tired of not having any alone time.
I’ve also started shopping a bit more frequently, which helps.
And I don’t blame him at all for being anxious or even angry about going back to school (or not). It’s just that he tends to complain a lot even when things are “normal” and now the extra complaints plus being on top of each other is really getting to me. Pre-quarantine I was WFH while he was at work and DD was at daycare, so I’d grown very accustomed to not having to talk to anyone all day plus being on my own schedule for working, housekeeping, errands, etc. Talking all the time - even when we’re all in good moods - honestly takes a lot out of me. I’m tired of having to be “on” all the time.
Post by mrsukyankee on Jul 10, 2020 14:48:57 GMT -5
mbcdefg, have you told your H that and asked for at least 30 min to one hour a day for alone time? It seems that your H may get that (and if not, then he should ask for it too). My H and I are both working from home and looking after a needy puppy and we both need some alone time or we start yelling at each other for no reason.
mbcdefg , I get it. I'm glad my H still has to go to work (can't WFH). @@@@@ We've allowed our kids to get on an awful sleep schedule, but I don't feel too bad because it gives me alone time from 8am when H leaves for work until 9:30 (or 10) when my kids finally wake up. I WFH and it gives me a couple hours every morning to work in peace.
mbcdefg , I get it. I'm glad my H still has to go to work (can't WFH). @@@@@ We've allowed our kids to get on an awful sleep schedule, but I don't feel too bad because it gives me alone time from 8am when H leaves for work until 9:30 (or 10) when my kids finally wake up. I WFH and it gives me a couple hours every morning to work in peace.
@@ My kids are on an awful sleep schedule too. At first it was great because I had alone time in the morning but now at night I get really upset about them screwing around 2-3 hours after I sent them to bed. They've been making noise until 11 or 12 lately and it is wearing me down to have no quiet time at night.
Yes. COVID has made other things a lot worse. I had to go without treatment for the car accident I was in earlier this year for 2.5 months. Specialist appointments got postponed. They still don't know what is causing the pain I'm experiencing. I had blood tests done in April and it turns out I am/was anemic and iron deficient and my thyroid meds needed bumping up. Those issues didn't help either.
I don't have a damn clue what to do about work. One of the things that hurts the most is driving. So that sucks. I know of at least 1 positive and 1 suspected positive case from my kitchen but management is saying that nobody has tested positive. I make money at big events. The idea of coming face to face with several hundred people in a short period of time makes my anxiety spike. The pictures I've seen from other events (graduations, weddings, etc.) involve zero masks worn by the attendees. One of the areas of outbreaks here has been restaurant staff. Something like 94 restaurant workers have gotten sick but only 3 guests. That's not a surprise since employees are required to wear masks but guests aren't if they're eating/drinking.
But I need money to live. I don't know if I'm employable. (I know that this really isn't the case but anxiety is a bitch.)
I feel so, so isolated. I'm sad and anxious. I feel like my ADHD meds aren't working or my anxiety is too much. It makes me self conscious.
I'm obsessing over the economy.
The sheer number of people who give zero fucks about other people and that their false sense of freedom is more important than being a conscientious fellow citizen.
I messaged my psychiatrist. I can't get in to see her until September.