Post by supertrooper1 on Oct 1, 2020 12:28:17 GMT -5
New teams started today in my division. I'm already seeing a huge difference. My new supervisor skyped with me and told me he would set me up with a mentor. We have team meetings every other week. On my last team I think we had two team meetings in a year and a half and my supervisor told me I would get individual training but it never happened.
I finally got my endometrial ablation scheduled for mid November. My dr said I could go back to work within a day or two of the procedure. I have plenty of PTO to burn, so as long as work is slow, I plan to take at least 2 days off.
DS2 isn't fully potty trained yet, but it's good enough to send him to preschool. He never wants to stop playing to sit on the potty even though he gets a sticker and a piece of chocolate. He also gets constipated from trying to hold it. So far, he hasn't had any accidents in school, so I'll take that as a small win.
We got a tax extension due to the wildfires until January so now all our procrastinators are procrastinating even longer. I'm too busy in January doing 2020 stuff to deal with 2019 taxes. We are trying to operate as deadline is still the 15th.
DD stuff is now being graded for school and she is getting a 1.5 out of 4 on the assignments but her teacher says good job. I'm so confused. I told her she has to let me read her answers before turning it in today to try and figure out if she is just half ass doing it or what. She hates school with a passion right now. They seem to be pushing social skills right now. Today's reading was on COVID and how it has changed our lives and how they can show empathy to others. I listened to that part of class and I was having a hard time not rolling my eyes. 11 more weeks until winter break.
Still in a stalemate over DS and the military. DH is taking the just keep talking role and trying to be rational and calm. I am taking the not speaking to him role because when I do, I get mad. So much for all off my experience when dealing with other people's kids.
We have FIL's truck now in our name as of today. It has 105,000 miles and is in a million times better shape than DS's current. He still thinks he is going to fix up his current truck and use FIL's for a back up for when the thing breaks down. But he doesn't have a job and I am barely agreeing to buy him food and clothes at this point.
rere, I am sorry you are upset about your child's decision, but it is his decision. Say your piece and let your H say his. Then leave it alone. Let him make his choice and just support him.
Forcing him into college if he doesn’t want to go will make him angry and resentful and will result in wasted time and money. Not knowing your kid but doubling down and telling him he is wrong and freezing him out; might make him that much more committed to it.
Be honest with your feelings, but please let him know that no matter what he decides you will love and support him.
On a personal note, from someone who grew up military and joined the military and married someone in the military your reaction is very hurtful. Please be aware of that if you are venting to people in IRL who are military as well.
rere agreed with prior poster. We can have all the dreams and aspirations for our kids to take a certain path, but at the end of the day.. it’s THEIR path. And the military is a great path for a lot of people, it’s more than just a last resort for people with no options/support.
I can understand being upset rere - I would be, too, if my kid wanted to go into any dangerous profession, even if it’s very necessary. But I think I’d want to keep the lines of communication open.
xctsclrx, I’m genuinely curious how it’s hurtful to members of the military that someone wouldn’t want their child to join the military?
sdlaura it's not that not wanting your kid to join the military that is hurtful. It's is acting as if joining the military is only acceptable if you don't have any other options and being so angry about it that you can't talk to your kid. If you look at her other post she describes how awful it is, but it was good for her brother because they didn't grow up with the same support her son did.
I grew up with support and I had options and joined the military. it was my choice. I am very happy with my decision. I didn't stay in career wise because we couldn't handle two military parents with two children.
My initial reaction to her posts were anger and hurt. I think the military is an honorable profession. I didn't respond in anger or hurt because I know that as a parent the fear of your child joining is very strong, I just want rere to be aware that I found her reaction hurtful and if I did others might as well. Especially with family in the military.
I think my fear of my child joining the military is more safety. If that is the case for you rere, would there be positions/ branches available that would be less likely to involve combat?
I know people who were medics, electricians, aircraft maintenance, national guard, and I forget what the other one did- something with meals. There might be options to work with the broad framework. Also coast guard if he likes water.
xctsclrx, I stand by my reaction due to the fact that I am too a military family. I watched my father die a slow and painful death getting chopped to pieces due to the fact that he put his faith in VA care. If the VA is any indication of how most respected of us are treated by this country, I do not want my child anywhere near it. I also have a brother and SIl that are career military. That means I have nephews and nieces that are strangers to us. I had hoped for that not to be the case with my own kids. We have endured years of deployment not knowing where sometimes they are, are they OK through Iraq and Afghanistan. Finally, it is not the case that kids without options are the only ones for the military and college is the only way. I am heartbroken that of all the things he could do, trade, college, whatever, he is choosing the option that will take him away for many years, not like going away to college where you come home on breaks and weekends, and that potentially puts one of my 2 children in danger. I will not apologize for my reaction as a mother. I will support him if this is what he chooses, but I will also present other options up until then. I don't care what other kids choose at this point, I care about my kid.
We have been continuing to struggle with DD1. Her tantrums have ramped up again, and she's fighting with her about everything. I'm trying so hard to give her some structure and guidelines, but I'm met with screaming at every turn. She's going to be 11 next week, so I know her hormones are starting to kick in more. But this behavior has been happening for years. I'm just so tired. She's constantly breaking the rules of the house, and then she gets angry with me because the rules are unfair and screams that she shouldn't be expected to follow it. Rules like, "Please don't dump your belongings in the middle of the kitchen floor - put them away," are met with "If YOU care so much about my stuff being there, YOU put it away." Statement is delivered at the top of her lungs.
She's been trying to wear me down about going to an outdoor shopping area with her friends, alone. But she makes SO MANY bad decisions that I just don't feel comfortable letting her go. I've told her that in so many words. Somehow she hears "Yes, absolutely, let me drive you there." And then the screaming ensues...
So this week I've taken a new approach - 100% hands off. I'm letting DH step in where he needs to, and I'm helping when she asks, but otherwise I'm just letting her do what she wants (within reason). I let her know the rules, I've let her know that there will be consequences to her decisions, but I'm not riding her. So if she chooses not to come home on time, she will miss dinner and the kitchen is closed. If she chooses not to study for a test and her grade reflects her effort, she will be grounded. If she continues to be lazy at school (which her teachers have also noticed), we will remove her from the school that she loves and send her back to public, and the $$$$$ awesome private school she wants to attend next year is off the table. She just doesn't seem to care about anything. It's killing me for so many reasons.
I might have a minor fracture in my foot? The ball of my foot, near my pinky toe, has been sore for a few days when I walk or stand on it. Didn't think much of it. Chalked it up to wearing crappy flip flops lately. Then I realized yesterday it's very noticeably bruised all along the outer edge of my foot where the pain is. It doesn't spread up my foot, just right at the ball on the outer edge. When I got into bed last night after being on my feet for over an hour, it was throbbing. Hurts today after walking on it, but when I'm not putting pressure on it, feels totally fine. So I'm trying to decide if I need to go to urgent care to get it checked or if I just see if it gets worse.
mae0111, The hands off approach is so tough, but sometimes those natural consequences are all that sink in for DD2 around here. Yesterday she forgot her Chromebook at home and didn't have it at school. She had to admit to the teacher that she forgot it and figure out how to handle it on her own during the day. I think it was good for her to have to own up to it and deal with it. Good luck with your new approach!
rere, non-military is not a guarantee that your family will remain close forever. I have nieces and nephews that I'm incredibly proud of, and I would do anything for them, but I don't feel like I know them. This is due to a combination of factors - some my fault, some my sister's fault, our kids are far apart in age, and some having to do with our relationship deteriorating for a period of time (and we were very close for a long time). But if you continue to react this way, you may create a rift that you never intended. I can see it happening with my own DD, and I feel powerless to stop it, which is why I'm taking a stand back approach.
You're a great mom, and it really seems like you've set your kids up for success. Your DS will figure out the right path.
Post by supertrooper1 on Oct 2, 2020 11:17:54 GMT -5
I don't remember which thread it was in, but someone was looking for a Nintendo Switch. I just ordered one online from Target. First time I've seen them in stock online and in my local store in months.
I don't remember which thread it was in, but someone was looking for a Nintendo Switch. I just ordered one online from Target. First time I've seen them in stock online and in my local store in months.
I was at Best Buy last Friday night dealing with an order that was incorrect and watched 4 people walk out with switches in one hour and asked the guy about it. He said they had just gotten more in after not having them for a long time. So it seems they are coming back in stock everywhere. Sure to sell out quickly again though if the parade of people buying them was any indication.
Thanks supertrooper1! I just ordered one from target for pick up tomorrow. I’m not sure that will be the Christmas present yet, but apparently the target return policy is extended through the end of January for anything bought after 10/1, so I can decide for sure later.