Putting this in it's own thread. DD's teacher sent out a long email rant last night to the entire class, including this..
As you've heard, we'll continue learning online through January. I know many parents are not happy about this, and many other things about distance learning, as the Facebook page that hundreds of **USD (school district) parents have commented on has made quite clear. Maybe no one from my class is involved, which is great, but I feel like I need to put my two cents in on the subject. I just want you all to know that I, and my fellow teachers, truly are trying our very best in this challenging, unprecedented time and doing everything we can to provide a quality learning environment for our students, your children. We realize this isn't an ideal situation for anyone and we ALL want things to go "back to normal". But, this is what we've been dealt right now and we need to get through it by being supportive, patient, understanding, and most importantly, compassionate. Pointing blame, comparing teachers to one another, and judging teachers on how someone thinks they should/shouldn't be teaching is not helping the situation at all! Just like you, we are all individuals who may do things in different ways, which includes how and how often we "assign" work to turn in. There are many ways teachers "assess" their students; it's not just based on the number of assignments that equals the amount the students are learning/being assessed, especially with the various issues/abilities involved with the technology that plays a part as well. Ok, I will get off my soap box now! I was just very upset by what I heard was being said and I thought it was important for parents to hear (whether involved in the FB discussion or not) the other side. Thanks for "listening"!
I am... tempted to respond to her. But it comes across as aggressive. I drafted: "I don't know if that paragraph about the FB page is directed at me. If it is, I honestly think you should read it. There are SEVERAL teachers in that group, and a TON of support for teachers, it is NOT about pointing blame or comparing teachers."
What I really want to say is... You obviously have a problem with me. The first time I talked to you, you suggested changing DD to another class. I don't want to do that, since I think it unfairly punishes her and she has no idea what's going on. I would prefer to leave her where she is, but I am not confident that she'll be getting a fair shot with you or that I'll get a fair shot with you (which is less important)
I am just.. UGH.
ETA: I forgot the question.. What would you do here? I honestly have no idea. DH would go along with anything at this point.
My opinion is this... she seems very unprofessional. And I’m my experience, unprofessional teachers unfairly target the children of parents that challenge them in any way. She believes that you have challenged her. If I were in your shoes I would move your DD. I know you think that it unfairly punishes your DD, but I think it’s going to be a long and miserable year for both you and your DD if this continues. And it doesn’t seem like it’s going to get better.
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It’s really unpleasant.
I feel like that’s pretty inappropriate on the teacher’s part. It’s one thing to send out the language about how teachers are trying their best - but to say that she knows about the message board and ‘maybe none of you are involved’ goes too far.
I know it would be really hard to bite my tongue, but I wouldn’t respond. I imagine there a lot of parents who have complained or voiced options, and I doubt it’s just directed at you.
Wow that was unprofessional. I would forward that email to the principle, superintendent and the district media liaison because if that gets leaked to the media the district will have a shit show going on.
Truthfully I don't think your DD will get a fair shot from this teacher at all. She has singled you and your DD out as the bad guys. Can you inform your DD what is going on and talk to her about why she is getting switched to another teacher. I know my kid picks up on stuff. Also would you want your DD to actually have this lady in person if this is how she treats her online?
Post by mustardseed2007 on Oct 5, 2020 12:14:53 GMT -5
It was very unprofessional and since she already offered to move your DD to another class, I would take her up on it. Especially if you have been active in that facebook group.
I am not sure if that paragraph is directed at me or not, since I've been upfront about being part of that FB page, but it comes across that way. I honestly think you should log in and read it. Far from being critical of teachers, blaming them, or criticizing them, it's VERY supportive of teachers. There are MANY teachers on that page, and it was created by and is moderated by teachers in our very own district.
I am going to be blunt - the first time you called me, you lead with the fact that maybe we should change DD's to another teacher. I was really taken aback by that (both the accusation and the suggestion to change classes). My preference was, and is, not to move her, because it seems like a really unfair thing to do to her during an already difficult time. At this point, I'm worried whether or not your feelings towards me and/or DH carry over to DD. Is this going to be an issue?
Oh geez. Ugh. How unprofessional and extra and drama. *eyeroll* I’d sit on it a day before replying to think about what I really wanted to say.
I’d want to say something like... 1. We appreciate you and all teachers and are supporting you. We know how hard this is as we’ve all had to start working remotely while wearing 25 new hats! This is our first time doing distance learning with elementary school students too and we are trying to figure out expectations and how best to support DD to ensure she’s doing what she needs to. We want to work collaboratively with you. 2. This is hard for everyone. The fb page exists to help the community trouble shoot, share ideas and collaborate. The intent is not to badmouth teachers who we all know are trying. 3. How can we help make it better? We believe with more communication, creativity, and idea sharing, we can make it even better. Please share any ideas you have to make it better.
I agree that this is super unprofessional. I wouldn't direct anyone to log in and read the commentary and say it was supportive. I think she has already read it and feels otherwise. I typically refrain from anything negative on a public forum instead I would reach out to the administration or the school board.
I'm not sure if she is singling you out or not. I think the assigning and assessing seemed to me to more aimed at you because that was your complaint, and another parent went to principal with it so obviously it is someone else's complaint as well. Do you have a room mom? We can sign up for room mom to support the teacher. Typically they are involved in the PTO and seem to know teachers better and might be able to help you out with a perspective on this teacher.
Otherwise I see you have 2 choices. 1. Move your child. 2. Accept that it is going to be a lost year with an unprofessional teacher. Given that it is October, I think I vote move. I would speak to the Principal and see if that is an option.
Do not respond to this email..... Unless you loved the teacher and your response was support and I'll help you with whatever you need, which is not the case.
I am not sure if that paragraph is directed at me or not, since I've been upfront about being part of that FB page, but it comes across that way. I honestly think you should log in and read it. Far from being critical of teachers, blaming them, or criticizing them, it's VERY supportive of teachers. There are MANY teachers on that page, and it was created by and is moderated by teachers in our very own district.
I am going to be blunt - the first time you called me, you lead with the fact that maybe we should change DD's to another teacher. I was really taken aback by that (both the accusation and the suggestion to change classes). My preference was, and is, not to move her, because it seems like a really unfair thing to do to her during an already difficult time. At this point, I'm worried whether or not your feelings towards me and/or DH carry over to DD. Is this going to be an issue?
I think all of that is fine until you ask the question in the last paragraph. I agree that if you are asking the question all she can say is "no" but she will be either lying to you or lying to you and herself. Either way its a lie.
I don't think you should respond to the email. Not sure if she is singling parents out or feeling defensive after reading some of the comments. Agree that it wasn't professional to vent to the parents.
If you have concerns, could you schedule another phone call with the teacher instead? It's so hard to interpret intent in email.
I know it must be super hard not to respond, but I still wouldn’t.
The only things I might do are either escalate to the principal, like PPs said, or request a class switch. Both of those would just be emailing the principal, I think, not responding to the teacher.
This is just a no win situation. Even if I try to escalate to the principal, any feedback he gives her would result in her calling me to complain about escalating to him.
k3am, I agree that this is a no win situation. That's why I think you should move her and be done with this teacher. Do you know if she has a reputation for this type of behavior? I found out too late that there was a list of complaints 5 miles long about DD1's teacher that I butted heads with. People would actively lobby to keep their kids out of the class. So I'm wondering if this is an ongoing issue or if it's new this year.
mae0111, I don't know. I honestly don't have all that many parent relationships at the school. One parent last year made an offhand comment about how all of the teachers in K-1 are great, but that in 2nd, it starts to get "hit or miss." And her first grade teacher told me that this teacher's style is "fly by the seat of her pants" and that she tends to get offended very easily.
If I thought that any of this was personally effecting DD or that she'd be substantially better off in another class, I'd move her in a heartbeat. But at this point, DD doesn't really even realize what's going on, she likes her teacher, our neighbor (her "chosen brother") is in her class, and I can't guarantee that her teacher doesn't basically brand us as "that" family to all the other teachers (if she hasn't already.)
k3am, I understand all that. In our situation, since the teacher had such a bad reputation (even among other teachers), we probably would have been fine. But the principal repeatedly refused my request and instead wanted DD1 and the teacher to have "counseling sessions" together. Nope.
I wouldn't respond at all, unless you respond as a total cheerleader. That's the path I've chosen with the principal at the kids' current school after our huge blowout last winter. Just see how it goes and file it away.
That’s pretty unprofessional and the whole situation sucks. I’d ignore and move on honestly. I would definitely not respond and get into a pissing match with the teacher. I would complain heartily to my DH when my child couldn’t hear and call it good. I’d silently fume the rest of the year and hope for a better teacher next year.
k3am, If you want to switch classes but are concerned about what DD thinks, can you just lie and let her know it's because of something weird with the virtual learning schedule? She'd never really know, right? And school is such a mess this year anyway, I feel like my kids would totally believe it's "because of the virus" and move on if I made up an excuse like that.
I wouldn't feel comfortable with that teacher for the rest of the year. It sucks that she's coming out swinging like that when you're just trying to figure out what the heck is going on.
One more thing to add... document the crap out of all of your interactions with her. I know most are over email, but that crazy phone call you had, etc. Then if there are any repercussions against your DD, you can easily approach the principal with a clear timeline and documentation. It’s a PITA, but it will make life so much easier if you ever have to escalate things.
I know I’m late to the party but don’t send that response email. She’s going to read it as fanning the flames.
I also think you should just move your DD. Aren’t the kids virtual? Unless I’m missing something, she and her friend aren’t really “in” class together anyway. It’s only the beginning of October. She has a lot of time to adjust.
Last thought: I hear from my friends who are teachers (or married to teachers) that it’s not uncommon to hear that a kid or family is a PITA and then to discover no issue. Kids grow and change. Sometimes they’re at a bad stage for the teacher they have. By the time they get the next one, everything syncs up fine. I think most teachers are able to give kids the benefit of the doubt.
I’m not sending anything. I’m done with school and DH can decide and handle everything. Including the second round of supply pickups because I’m not going. He either make it work around his schedule or we just say fuck it.
She sends one more passive aggressive email like that and I’m going to the principal.
Oof. Maybe she should have written that and not sent it. I wouldn’t reply.
That’s my advice knowing full well I’m about to go to my boss about DD2’s teacher, which feels weird but I’m done with her already and it’s only been 5 weeks.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Yeah she shouldn’t have written that! If you keep her with her is there any chance of having an actual conversation not in written form? Like phone or zoom? Not even about this but at some point for your child’s progress.
When emotions are high, I just find written communication to have many implications.
supertrooper1, so all of the issues she brought up are issues that we have had with her multiple times. She didn't collect work, put assignments in the LMS platform, or provide an agenda. There is no way as a parent for me to know what she SHOULD be doing, and DD went for WEEKS without having a single piece of work to show for her efforts. We asked her about it multiple times, then she called to accuse me of calling the principal on her and telling me to switch DD to another class. So I already know that she holds a grudge specifically against me. I had thought we hashed out all the issues, but she is.. again bringing them all up again as if we never had a conversation to explain WHY I need to know what she's supposed to be working on. And telling us WHY it's okay for her not to meet the district requirements for how she is supposed to manage the class in a distance learning environment.
I am probably over sensitive about it because of her call. The issues she is digging in and being defensive about (her remote teaching style) are the ones that she knows I've brought up, and she singled me out previously. I also take offense to the fact that she is going on hearsay to assume that my participation in that FB page is critical of teachers or comparing teahers.
campermom, DH and I have both talked to her. LONG conversations 45 mins to an hour. And both times, we think we've gotten on the same page, and both times.. we haven't.
Post by supertrooper1 on Oct 6, 2020 12:14:36 GMT -5
k3am , I have a feeling for her to get to the level of sending out that email, that you're not the only parent complaining about how things are going in her class. I wouldn't take it personally even though it's easier said than done. I would also consider moving your DD. To me it seems easier to move a student in the online environment than if she were physically present. And then if you do end up back at school, you don't have to deal with her in person.