How much did you push your kid to take music lessons? (I guess this could be any activity, but thinking of something enriching). DS (6, almost 7) has been resistant to starting piano lessons. It doesn't seem like his usual trepidation about not wanting to start something new that he'll initially be bad at. He just seems completely uninterested.
I played piano for a long time and I want both of my kids to learn how to read and play music. My daughter, recently 4, has seemed interested in playing piano and music for a while, from a young age Ds has never shown much interest.
Would you/have you pushed? I could condition his video game time on piano lessons & practice. I'll note, when I played recitals and things in high school, people always came up to me and expressed regret that they quit piano lessons at an early age.
6 is still young. I wouldn't push it. As an anecdote, I played Clarinet for one year and I hated practicing. My parents forced it and I quit after one year. I think if they hadn't been so strict about it I would I have stuck it out. I love music, but it was more of a parent/child battle than anything.
My DS seems drawn to music and we plan to start him with piano lessons when we can do it in person, but realize his attitude may change by then.
DS plays piano and DD doesn't do music. Does your DS have other interests? We haven't pushed the kids into any particular thing, but we limit them to three activities. Pre-COVID, that was piano, scouts, and a sport for DS and art, scouts, and a sport for DD. I wouldn't have pushed DS to play piano if he didn't want to. He's been at it for about four years and this year has been tough with getting him to practice. If you condition his screen time on piano practice, it's going to become a big battle, or maybe that's just my house. So the short version is no, I would not push him to take piano lessons.
CrazyLucky, he plays soccer, baseball, basketball, and does swim team. He's also really into art/drawing, and he likes listening to music. Maybe we could try it and tell him he doesn't have to keep going. He did a dance class once and seemed to enjoy it, but we didn't push him to keep going.
A local place does sibling group piano lessons, I wonder if I could try it w/him and his sister....like they might feed off each other (or it would be insane...).
Check out Hoffman Academy online. You can do the lessons for free, but need a membership for the sheet music and theory games later. He can do several lessons to get an idea of things and that may help build his interest. There are also tutorials on YouTube to play some popular sons that he may also like.
We signed my kids up for the lifetime lessons, and it has been perfect. I don’t have to push them as hard because they can go at their own pace. They’ve both kind of taken a break from it for now, but I’m optimistic they’ll return to it. If not, I’m still money WAY ahead vs if I had done the same time for live lessons. My goal was to teach them to love to play, not force them to play...and Hoffman Academy has been great for that.
I did one year of piano, and it was OK, but it was never my passion. I did band all through high school, and I enjoyed it but I liked playing with other people and hearing the instruments blend together and the different parts. I don't really like to play on my own or practice lol.
I would like my kids to have some knowledge of music but I don't care how they get it. It could be choir, piano, band or something else. If we do piano, I have a plan to get a keyboard for them to practice on.
Post by minniemouse on Oct 15, 2020 10:35:33 GMT -5
h and I were both in band (different schools) as kids - I played clarinet and he played trumpet. We both had good memories so we encouraged dd1 to give it a try. She chose trumpet. She doesn’t love it but doesn’t hate it either. This is her third year and she’s still in, most likely because I do not push her to practice too much. As long as she is doing enough to get credit at her lesson we are good. As with most kid activities I generally don’t feel it’s worth pushing something that child doesn’t enjoy. Our only rule is they must complete the session/season.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Oct 15, 2020 10:42:44 GMT -5
I would wait to see if the school music program happens to spark an interest. Both of my kids got really interested in reading music and instruments during 1st grade. We got them a tiny keyboard, and then my mom gave us her full-sized keyboard, and they both learned some basics just from the book that came with it. If we were going to pursue piano lessons, we would have done it then. 3rd grade is when they can start orchestra here, and 4th grade band, so at that point I told my kids I'd like for them to try an instrument but which one was up to them.
If financial cost isn't an issue, music is something that I think should be encouraged if there is even the slightest interest, but I wouldn't downright force them by taking other stuff away if they really didn't want to, especially at such a young age.
Post by Patsy Baloney on Oct 15, 2020 10:43:30 GMT -5
We (I) just recently started DD with piano lessons. I'm teaching her right now as a supplement to her music classes she receives via her school's virtual teaching. She is 7.5 and loves it. Practices every day and looks forward to our lesson every Tuesday. I don't think she would have been capable of that commitment any time before 7. I know little, little kids start piano and are successful, but I don't think it would hurt to wait.
You can ask if he's interested in a different instrument as suggested.
Honestly, music and music learning is important to me, so I probably would push for something. DD took recreational singing class at our local theater and loved it. It was a group of 7-10 year olds and they would sing show tunes together and learn about singing on stage as part of a production. You might see if something like that is in your area when choir practices are allowed.
I feel that music is like sports, you are either into it/a natural or you are not. I wouldn't force my kid to be in anything they just didn't enjoy. Mostly because I know that then it will be a fight each time to get them to go to a lesson or having to force them to practice. Life is too short for us both to be miserable. Now, if they wanted to sign up and then just didn't like it or wanted to quit, I would probably make them finish out the term/season. But then I would call it a day.
No, I wouldn't force it. Everyone has different interests and abilities.
I took a year of piano lessons. I also took guitar lessons for maybe a summer. Instruments were not my thing. But I danced for 15 years and was in my school/church choir for most of my child/teen years. I really enjoy & appreciate music in my own ways, I just have no desire to master playing it.
DS just recently started to be interested in playing the piano, so we're going to look into lessons. We'll commit to it for a period of time, but won't push beyond that. If he likes it and wants to continue, that's great. DD currently has no interest in playing an instrument, but she takes tap, jazz, & ballet, so dance is her thing, maybe instruments are not.
Post by luckystar2 on Oct 15, 2020 12:35:13 GMT -5
Definitely wouldn’t push it. Like some others have said, some kids/people have different interests and talents. I think it’s my job as a parent to expose my kid to as much and let her lead the way on what interests her. The only time I’d push is if we’ve made a commitment/paid for lessons fo a certain amount of time. I do believe in sticking through a commitment assuming she is the one who chose to do it.
We exposed dd to some piano at that age (we have a keyboard and dh and I know how to play a little). We just taught her a little about reading the music and playing some basics. She had some interest but not much so we didn’t pursue lessons. 4th grade her school starts band/orchestra and she chose violin. She’s in 7th and still playing. We never pushed her into any of it. I do encourage practicing because she chose to join orchestra. But for the most part she has enjoyed it a lot. I don’t think you need to start playing an instrument really early to learn and enjoy it. I also don’t think it’s a necessity for everyone to learn. Id let him lead the way.
I probably have the unpopular opinion here, but I would push if it's important to you. Unless your kid goes to a school with a very comprehensive music program, they will likely not be getting a decent musical education.
I plan on putting my DD in music lessons through elementary at least. We'll start her on violin (I played piano but we have no room in our condo) but if she wants to switch to a different instrument or take singing lessons instead, that's fine. I personally believe music is part of a well-rounded education.
I see zero benefit to pushing your 6 year old to take piano if he/she has zero interest and is actively resistant. It's just going to be a nightmare for both of you!
I would not push. But I also don’t place super high value on this particular skill.
My oldest begged to take piano lessons starting at around 7 or 8. She did until she was 14. But, she wasn’t really into it. Never practiced. It was $100/month and an irritation to get her there and back for nothing IMO.
My middle did them for a year when she was 7 or 8. Decided she wasn’t into it and stopped. I’d rather they didn’t waste my time and money on it if they aren’t in to it.
My youngest isn’t interested so he never took them. If he decides he wants to do it, I’ll let him, but I’m not going to push.
I also wouldn’t be into wasting my time and money on it for a kid who really isn’t even interested in it at all. Why? I think if you push you will just set yourself up for wasting time and money and also fighting about practicing. Not worth it.
My mother forced piano lessons on me. I hated it and at a certain point I just never got any better. I did enjoy singing in the choir at school - I started in middle school and then a light bulb went off in my moms head and she suggested we stop the piano and do vocal lessons.
My nine year old played the recorder last year at school and did quite well so I asked if he wanted to start piano lessons. He didn’t and I didn’t force it. He went over to a friends one afternoon and his brother was in the middle of a guitar lesson. My son got the name of the teacher and phone number and asked if he could start guitar. He’s been doing it for some time and really enjoying it even though we do it over zoom now.
Im actually really glad he picked the guitar. I begrudgingly played the piano and have never really done much with it. I’ve even forgotten how to read music. But he’s been able to play guitar with his friends, taken it for playing around the campfire etc
Post by ilikedonuts on Oct 15, 2020 16:22:16 GMT -5
Don’t force it.
I played violin in early elementary. Hated it after a while so I stopped. My husband played the sax from grade school through college. Marching band president. All that. Our kids currently have no interest in music and unless they specifically ask for lessons, we aren’t even going to do more then ask if they have any interest.
I’m a piano teacher with a 6 year old son! I say definitely don’t push it. I’ve had young kids who are forced to do it and it normally doesn’t work out well, so much so that if I find out that’s the case with any of my students I terminate the lessons myself rather than forcing those situations on everyone.
I’ve got my DS and my DD is 3, I decided a long time before having kids that I’d never push them into piano just because it’s my thing. My DS got introduced to violin in kindergarten last year and loved it, so now I have my cousin (a retired public school music teacher) giving him violin lessons. My DD is more drawn to piano as well as singing, which I also teach, so maybe she’ll go down that path, maybe not.
It can be a struggle to make DS practice sometimes, but I see how excited he is in his lessons with her and I know that his attitude with practicing will get better with time as long as he enjoys it in lessons. This is how I normally deal with my own students, so I figure it should work with my kid as well! So all that to say, maybe look up websites that give info on other instruments that would be age appropriate and see if anything peaks his interest more than piano. I’m obviously a big believer in music education, but I know that not all kids will be drawn to piano and as long as they’re doing something musical that’s great!
Both my brother and I started taking piano lessons when I was 7 (he maybe started later and was closer to 6). My mom always enforced practicing and sticking with it since they bought me a piano for my birthday that year. I resisted but ultimately stuck with it til high school (I decided to quit since jazz band and track were the same seasons). My brother did not like the strictness and quit after a couple years.
I am very thankful I know how to read music and play the piano. My boys seem interested in it when I play but I haven’t thought about teaching them much yet (DS1 has way too much going on with his therapies). If he resisted I would not push at all.
We're not really pushing. V is 7 and doesn't seem to be that musical. He found GarageBand on his iPad and has started showing some interest, so I might find someone who can teach him how to do some intro stuff.
My DD is the same age. We haven't started piano yet but she has expressed interest. I had her do dance for the last 3 years and we dropped it this year because it became unbearable on dance class day. Based on that, I shouldn't push anything because she knows even at such a young age what interests her. So now I'm trying to have her try all different stuff like she's doing soccer and field hockey this fall and enjoying both. Except swimming. She's not a huge fan of swim classes but she needs to learn and I'm not going to let her quit that until she's learned the appropriate skills.
So if he's into other stuff, I wouldn't push it. Maybe there is another instrument he'd like to learn or maybe he would enjoy singing.
I did piano through 12th grade and it was an ok experience. It was nice to learn but I haven't played anything in 20 years. I probably would have been better off becoming more proficient on a more mobile instrument, but I didn't have that opportunity.
I appreciate everyone who is saying to not push. However, how do you know if your child is truly not interested, versus just being lazy? If I did things based solely on my boys’ interests, they wouldn’t do anything other than Minecraft all day (which is basically all they do all day anyway). I am very musical and feel that learning to read music is an important skill that can’t really be made up at a later date. It has been a huge struggle to get either one to practice piano and neither has touched a piano since March. DS1 wanted to join band and picked the saxophone, but again won’t even pick it up between lessons. I honestly think it is laziness rather than a lack of interest.
I want my kids to learn to read and appreciate music as well but I would not force the piano on them. I would let them choose an instrument.
So far my 10 year old has played the guitar at age 6, the piano in third grade, and the tuba in 4th and 5th.
If she weren’t interested on her own In 4th when school band started I would have really encouraged her. Not sure how hard we would have pushed as she was super into it.
She hardly ever practices and I do t have it in me to force her. Her band teacher seems pleased with her progress and it’s not for a grade.
I do think it’s ok for your kids to learn a skill they may not be interested in on their own. Both bike riding and learning to swim are things we make our kids do even if they’re not interested as we see them as important life skills. But I’m not sure forcing piano at age 6 is the way I would go.
I appreciate everyone who is saying to not push. However, how do you know if your child is truly not interested, versus just being lazy? If I did things based solely on my boys’ interests, they wouldn’t do anything other than Minecraft all day (which is basically all they do all day anyway). I am very musical and feel that learning to read music is an important skill that can’t really be made up at a later date. It has been a huge struggle to get either one to practice piano and neither has touched a piano since March. DS1 wanted to join band and picked the saxophone, but again won’t even pick it up between lessons. I honestly think it is laziness rather than a lack of interest.
If it’s a fight every single time you try to go to whatever activity they aren’t interested. If they are excited to go or practice or talk about it or whatever they are interested.
My oldest begged to take piano lessons. So I signed her up. She went willingly every week for 6 years. But she literally never touched the piano at home that entire time. I had no strong desire to force her. She obviously didn’t really enjoy it IMO. She eventually quit on her own. Now, I have a friend that forces her DS to practice. Maybe he will grow to love it more because she forces practicing, but I have my doubts that is how you sow a love for something. My oldest now does horseback riding. I know she loves it because she does it 3x a week and is excited about it and wants to do extra things like horse shows.
My youngest has tried lots of things (soccer, riding, karate, etc). He wasn’t interested in any of them. I could tell because it was a massive fight to get him to go and participate. So he finished out whatever we had paid for and then was allowed to quit. He now does a different martial art (soo bahk do) and I know he’s interested because he wishes he could go more than 2x a week (due to covid they are limited to 2x a week, normal times they can go up to (x a week) and he practices at home, talks about it all the time and is so happy to go and when he comes home from it he’s super happy.
My middle kid has tried quite a bit of stuff and hasn’t found her true passion yet. And she’s more of a homebody and a little lazier. I think that’s okay too. She tries stuff and she tried lots of different things, just hasn’t found something she loves. She’s really into animals but there isn’t really an activity that involves that (she did riding for like 18 months, but didn’t really love it).
I’d say if it’s something they love you’ll know because they want to do it and are excited about it. I also think it’s okay if it’s not what you love. They don’t have to love something just because you do.
I think it is ok to do a trial of music lessons to see if they enjoy it, but I wouldn’t force the issue... particularly with a six year old. My oldest takes guitar and has for a few years. He likes it but doesn’t love it. I don’t force him to practice. I like that he is learning basic music rules and is learning music, but if he asks to quit, ok...
My middle child tried drums at 5 and took it for about two months. He didn’t enjoy it at all, so we asked him if he wanted to quit, he said yes, so we cancelled lessons.
I asked to learn piano at six and was like my oldest. I liked it well enough but was lazy about practicing. I took up flute in fifth grade and LOVED band. I practiced a lot.
Other than that, I didn’t find my other main love until high school when I stated competitive speech.
Give it a whirl, if it is a struggle, try something else. And, realize some kids may not love any of it... and that is ok too!