How are you handling the holidays? I’m trying to figure out how we can do thanksgiving. We are in the Seattle area so eating outside in November wouldn’t work. My dh travels for work so he cannot quarantine for the 14 days before the holiday. My family is local so no travel is involved but my parents are high risk. We have only seen them outside since February. My sister and her family and my inlaws normally attend so there would be 12 people total. Open all the windows in the house and bundle up and wear masks then eat in the garage (my mom would be horrified but whatever) with the garage doors open?
ETA- schools are still 100% virtual in our area and my BIL works from home.
We are in Indiana, and Thanksgiving can be 50s and nice and 30s and rain. I bought 2 outdoor heaters and I’m hoping we can eat outside, in the garage, or under tailgate tents. If we can’t, we will visit indoors with masks and I’ll send food home with everyone. I’m considering doing something like beouf bourguignon instead of typical TG dinner. We have 4 households (11 people), and I can make a pan for each household/table so there isn’t any cross-contact with serving utensils.
Post by ilikedonuts on Oct 17, 2020 10:54:30 GMT -5
We are locking down starting the beginning of December so we can see my grandparents. WFH. My kids already are doing full virtual. Well do grocery curbside.
We’ll still wear masks when we see my grandparents but this way I think if we are completely quarantined for well more then 14 days before, the risk will be super super low.
We will drive to see my ILs and stay with them for a few days. We did the same last weekend. My FIL is 94 and we don’t know how many more birthdays/Thanksgivings we have left with him. He and my MIL understand the risk, and would rather spend the time together even if it’s riskier. So we’ll go. It’ll be the three of us, two of them, and my SIL/BIL and their two kids. We are the only ones traveling.
We will take as many precautions as we can leading up to the trip, but we both work outside the home and C goes to in-person school, so we won’t quarantine.
1. Pretty much ignore Thanksgiving. To be honest I am thrilled to skip the usual 30 person pot luck at my MIL's. THRILLED. It's terrible and I am not sad to miss it. Thanksgiving this year is also DD's 10th birthday. We will celebrate that instead and do something fun with her and have her favorite meal. I'm actually really excited.
2. We are planning our usual Christmas Eve. It's usually my mom, MIL, SIL, niece, and us. So 7 people. I plan on pulling DD out of school a week early (we will do virtual) and my SIL is doing the same. Where we are it's usually in the 70's if not hotter at Christmas so we will eat and open presents outside.
Post by SusanBAnthony on Oct 17, 2020 11:39:29 GMT -5
We were going to see the 5 in-laws on t day. That is somewhat up in the air. Still possible because we are both being pretty careful and are willing to take some risk to see them since clearly this isn't going away. But cases in both our states are rising so it could be cancelled. We definitely will just see those 5 people and not anyone else. It will be all indoors if we do it as it will be snowy and we'll stay overnight as it is a full day drive or a flight.
I am the plannerest of planners so this is driving me nuts but nothing we can do except wait and see how things are. None of us can quarantine but we are all being careful in terms of distancing and mask wearing at work and minimize all extra contacts ahead of time. But my niece is in school so that is probably the highest risk. Idk. Are we supposed to not see them for 2 years? 3 of the 5 are on their 70's and may not be alive, and they've said they want to see us.
Post by luv2rn4fun on Oct 17, 2020 11:49:11 GMT -5
I just brought this up with our pediatrician because my dad and stepmom were planning to host extended family Christmas just like any other year. He said trick or treating and all other family get together a for this holiday season is cancelled for his family. At most, an outdoor Thanksgiving with his ILs.
We might see my dad and stepmom and brother and his wife, just depends if other events are cancelled and my parents are careful (big “if” since they are doing more than us, some necessary for work and other things not essential but more being over COVID). We are still trying to be as safe as possible...but DS1 is back in person school (50%) and has in home ABA. Otherwise we minimize our outings and wear masks as much as possible.
We are driving to Illinois to spend thanksgiving with my SIL and niece/nephew. DH’s cousins are also traveling there. DHs brother (SIL’s husband) died very unexpectedly in April and it’s very important for us to be there with them. We are going to figure out logistics of quarantining and testing etc. Everyone is on board, we just don’t know exactly how it’s working yet
1. We invited our ILs up to visit for Thanksgiving, but they're making it too difficult so I think it will just be the 3 of us. I'm fine with that! Definitely not visiting them for several reasons, but the #1 is they live in a state where we'd likely have to do a 2 week quarantine upon our return home.
2. Since having DD we refuse to travel Christmas eve/day, so will continue that. I'll invite my parents to come, but they're already in our extended bubble. We won't be doing any extended family GTGs this year.
My brother wants to host the usual T'giving but it is too many people for me to be comfortable. Instead, I rented a house on a farm. Me, H, DD, and my parents will go there from Wed night - Sat morning. I plan to bring a stack of board games, books, and far too many snacks. We will not do a traditional T'giving meal but my mom is going to make her spaghetti which is basically my favorite meal ever so I consider it a win.
My Brother and SIL will likely be disappointed and possibly even angry. That is their choice.
As for Christmas - we usually host. I plan to tell everyone it is not in the cards this year. I will invite my parents to spend the night xmas eve but they may choose something else since we are stealing them for T'giving...and that's fine.
Post by timorousbeastie on Oct 17, 2020 12:09:04 GMT -5
We presumably won’t be seeing anyone for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We do Thanksgiving on our own most years, so it shouldn’t be a big deal to do it that way this year. Christmas, on the other hand, will be a problem. My family is almost all out of town, so we normally do Christmas afternoon/dinner with MIL and SIL’s family. MIL thinks she is being safe about everything, but she regularly hangs out and/or babysits for SIL. SIL and her H are COVID deniers, so there is no way I trust them to quarantine before Christmas so we could get together. Given that SIL threw a huge fit when we wouldn’t let her come to DD’s birthday party in February when she and her whole family had the flu, I would not be surprised for them to lie about any activities or symptoms just to convince us that getting together would be okay. I know full well this is going to cause a massive fight with the in laws, but too bad. I’m the one who is most at risk (although each of the in laws has their own preexisting condition that raises their risk); I get to decide what risk of exposure I’m comfortable with - and at this point, they far exceed my comfort level.
Since my family is all out of town, we get together to celebrate at another time, not necessarily around Christmas. Christmas 2019 was celebrated just a couple weeks before everything shut down. I’m hopeful that we will be able to get together over the summer next year, once we’ve been vaccinated.
Post by redpenmama on Oct 17, 2020 12:15:25 GMT -5
Family is 12 hours away, so we always stay here and do Thanksgiving on our own.
We haven't decided on Christmas. I feel like we can't make a decision until we see what things are like in December (likely bad). We are both working from home and the kids are still virtual, so if we traveled, our plan would be to lock down for the month of December so that we can travel (drive) to see family. We'd get tested before we left. We would stay with my parents (who are also pretty much in lockdown) and we wouldn't see anyone else. No big Christmas gathering like usual.
We haven't seen family this year, like many others, so I'd love to be able to go, but not if the risk outweighs the reward. We toyed with doing something similar this summer, but then cases spiked in Florida (where family lives), so we stayed put. I suspect that will also be the case for Christmas, but we are leaving the possibility open for now. Since we are working/schooling from home, we can be flexible and make a last-minute decision.
Post by icedcoffee on Oct 17, 2020 12:26:49 GMT -5
kate1482 could you do festive drinks and maybe some snacks around a bonfire (fire pit) on Thanksgiving? And then maybe send everyone home with some thanksgiving take out boxes of food? I’d rather reheat food when I get home than eat in a garage or cold house.
Post by icedcoffee on Oct 17, 2020 12:32:04 GMT -5
Thanksgiving is typically at my BIL/SIL. Current plan is to wait to see what they decide. If they have their normal guest list (which I doubt because SILs family is being VERY cautious) we will send regards and get takeout or cook ourselves. If they do a guest list we feel comfortable with (people already in our bubble) then we will go. We’re in waiting mode. Holidays is a sore subject on that side of the family so I’m not bringing it up and have told my H not to either.
TDay isn't happening and neither is Christmas. I'm pretty sad about it, but it is what it is.
TDay is my dad's extended family. So 25+ people. Christmas is just my extended family. That's still 14 people not including my 3 person family. It's too cold to be outside at either of those holidays in eastern WA state.
ETA: a bunch of people in both of those groups aren't taking COVID as seriously as my little family is so my family quarantining is a moot point since they won't.
Post by pierogigirl on Oct 17, 2020 12:55:50 GMT -5
We usually host. I told DH there is no way we are hosting. We will make Thanksgiving dinner and box it up for the ILs and my mom. Everyone else is on their own.
Christmas? I hope we will just drop off presents for the nieces and nephews (local). We may see my mom and the Ils (also local) but not inside. I think this is a fine year to actually stop giving presents to DH's adult siblings. We were making progress, but then they started wanting to exchange. It sucks. I'm going to suggest that DH bring it up now, before it's too late.
We usually host. I don’t want to be responsible for people getting sick, and people fly or drive in.
This year we are renting a house in the middle of nowhere the same state where we live, so there aren’t any quarantine issues. I think it will be boring because there is not much to do there but we can play games and cook and bake all the things. We’ll just have to bring specialty cooking of baking stuff with us. There is a state park there so if it’s warm enough we can go there. And it’s not a popular/ crowded state park.
kate1482 could you do festive drinks and maybe some snacks around a bonfire (fire pit) on Thanksgiving? And then maybe send everyone home with some thanksgiving take out boxes of food? I’d rather reheat food when I get home than eat in a garage or cold house.
Love that idea and will use it for Christmas with my in-laws! We actually have a nice covered outdoor living space with heaters in the ceiling/gas fire pit.
My mom hosts thanksgiving (she does all the cooking and loves feeding people. I swear its her love language!) and my dad just had foot surgery so he isn't really mobile. I told my mom she can still cook if she wants to and I can help move over all the food to eat at our house under the covered patio but she wants my dad to stay put.
My entire family usually gets together every other year and this would be an "on" year. We're definitely not doing it. I haven't even seen the sister that usually hosts since before the lockdown started. I don't know if we can do anything for Christmas.
When we're home for holidays my husband's cousin usually comes to us. He's high risk though so I don't even know about him. He's been over a couple of times in the last few months, but only outside. I don't know what we'll do. He poses almost zero risk to us, but I don't think I can stand the risk we pose to him even if he would be okay with it.
I was hoping I would be able to be more comfortable with indoor gatherings, but no. We always have a group of friends over right before Christmas and it's something we all really look forward to. We're thinking of doing something outside. A fire pit, propane fire table both lit. Hot foods and drinks and everyone stay as long as we can stand it. They've all been here at some point in the last couple of months for outside gatherings, so I think we're all comfortable with that. I know it won't be the same as other years, but it is much better than not seeing each other.
Canadian here. We skipped big family thanksgiving And H just made a nice dinner a home. Zoomed/called family.
Christmas is being done in small groups. MIL/SFIL first since he’s terminal and I don’t want to see others and then him after. My immediate family dinner after that (6 adults plus DS), indoors hosted by my brother/SIL. DS attends in-person school and everyone works in offices except my dad/SM who are retired. We will all get Covid tests once DS is on winter break so we can skip masks. We will likely avoid hugging and spread out to eat.
FIL/SMIL are totally and completely paranoid so we will not do anything in person. Which is a-ok by me since it’s basically several torturous hours of listening to SMIL complain about every single thing and judge our parenting while their boys zombie out on their iPads. We’ll drop off gifts on their porch and then do desert or something over zoom.
Traditional work parties and friends get-togethers are cancelled or are going virtual.
We won't see anyone. Our family is all a plane ride away and I do not feel it's worth the risk of exposure for us to fly there, especially since my mom is high risk. She's been sitting at home for 7 months now, I'm not going to undo all her caution by bringing COVID to her house.
If they were local or a drivable distance, I'd quarantine for 2 weeks before visiting but I would do it. H and I both WFH 100% so we are fortunate that it wouldn't be very hard for us to do. My parents and my sister's family are extremely careful/mostly stay home and I wouldn't have any concerns about us getting it from them. If one of us were in the office or had to travel for work I think we'd skip the holidays.
The way I see it, it SUCKS to not be together this year, but it's an investment in being together future years. We could get together this year, one or more of us could die, and we'd never celebrate the holidays together ever again. It's far more worthwhile to skip 1 year than to take that chance.
We are not seeing family this year, though we might have friends over if it’s warm enough to be outside. It totally sucks (I haven’t seen my parents in over a year) but it’s just not worth the risk.
I’m not sure about Christmas. We usually go to MIL’s and we’d love to be able to do that. We might try to quarantine before (I already talked to my boss about it)
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I have no idea, and the amount of time I spend thinking about it is exhausting. We live in NY, so numbers are low, and when they start to rise, our Governor will be quick to pull the trigger, close schools, etc... We also have unrestricted access to testing. My parents live close to me and I’m hoping we can keep them in our bubble if things lock down again, so hopefully we’ll be able to be with them, at least.
The real issue is my siblings. I have two brothers, both live a few hours from us, 1 in CT, 1 in MA. The one in CT can’t quarantine because he has to work, as does his partner. 3 of his 4 daughters are in school, hybrid. The other brother has been very isolated, and has a 5 month old that we’ve all seen only once, after a 14 day quarantine. He and his wife can both work from home, so they will be able to quarantine/stay very isolated. They’re also being very cautious because of the baby, understandably.
So, it kind of feels like one of two things will happen:
1). Cases will rise, schools will close, and then my family of 4 will be able to do a full quarantine for however long we need to. My parents would be able to do the same, and then maybe my brother from MA would be comfortable seeing us. But it would mean excluding my other brother’s family.
2). Schools are still open, and my family can’t quarantine. I don’t know then that my brother from MA would be comfortable, and obviously that’s a bigger risk to everyone and maybe we wouldn’t do it. Though, it schools are still open, it should mean cases are low and maybe we could pull it off.
It seems like we’re going to have to choose between one brother or the other, and that’s a crappy situation. My dad’s family has a Christmas party, but that either won’t happen, or we won’t go. It’s way too many people. My mom’s side is small, and it’s possible that they would factor into scenario 1 or 2 above, but it all depends on everybody’s comfort levels and what’s going on at the time.
Oh, I just remembered I also have in laws, haha. FIL is 82, and basically hates the holidays, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he uses covid as an excuse not to do anything (I’m mostly joking, don’t blame him). SIL also has a 5 month old. We’ve seen her only outside, and none of us have held her, so I don’t know how Thanksgiving or Christmas in NY is going to work.
Post by Velar Fricative on Oct 17, 2020 14:29:22 GMT -5
I think we are leaning to just the four of us on Thanksgiving. The whole holiday is centered around food, so I don’t feel comfortable being unmasked for that long. Most family is local so travel is not a concern.
Christmas bums me out more. We have rapid testing here (DH tested and got results in 15 minutes last night) and rates are low, so we could all agree to get tested but I bet there will be so much demand and not everyone can quarantine for several days before Christmas if the wait takes days. We might instead spend time with individual households throughout December/January to avoid large gatherings and wear masks and go outside if possible.
I had to bring DD1 to my ILs the other day for a doc appointment I couldn’t change and they wouldn’t shut up about how upset they are about being stuck at home and rarely seeing people so they’ve decided to “live their lives.” I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. They were careful before (hence why we see them occasionally) but now they have an extreme case of covid fatigue I think.
Post by steamboat185 on Oct 17, 2020 14:58:25 GMT -5
Denver just lowered the legal gathering limit to 5- including your household- so we could have 1 person over. However our entire family is across the country so we will just hang out as a family of 4. Same thing we do everyday.
Denver just lowered the legal gathering limit to 5- including your household- so we could have 1 person over. However our entire family is across the country so we will just hang out as a family of 4. Same thing we do everyday.
So...households larger than five can’t all congregate together in their own home?
Family is local (<1 hr away) and it's not too cold then, so that helps. If we had to drive any longer I just wouldn't do it. If weather isn't a concern we will socialize outside with masks. Whether or not we eat together or take it to-go might depend on the level of community spread at the time. Presents can be opened outside or over Zoom.
Post by InBetweenDays on Oct 17, 2020 15:39:36 GMT -5
We're in Seattle too but we're able to quarantine beforehand (both work from home, kids are 100% virtual). So our plan is to do that and then have my parents over for the entire weekend. They live nearby (just a ferry ride away) and we've seen them a handful of times outdoors, but I'm so looking forward to having them stay with us.