Vent in here thread

[redheadbaker]

Not looking for solutions. Just need to virtually scream before I snap. I know what I need to do and what I need my H to do.

H and I are both working from home. We both work 8 to 5. DS is doing all-virtual school (3rd grade).

H works in IT support and spends a lot of the day on the phone, so it falls to me to to help DS with school. Fine. Works says they understand and will be flexible with anyone who has care obligations (child, elderly parents, etc). And H said he'd do all of the dog care. One dog has heart failure and one of her medications makes her super thirsty so she has to pee every four hours, meaning she needs to go out at least once during the work day.

He also says he will take DS to soccer practice (held two evenings a week) -- his only real chance for exercise and in-person socialization work friends.

Except ... Work is insane. I have four urgent projects due this week, on top of the graphic design conference I'm supposed to be "attending" virtually. While helping DS with school.

H never takes the dogs out in the middle of the day. Either he accidentally turned his reminder alarm off, or it goes off while he's in a call, so he turns out off and forgets about it.

Then he gets stuck late at work (on a call, or his manager schedules an after-hours meeting, or whatever) so I'm missing my conference, or canceling my haircut, etc, to take DS to soccer.

And DS' gifted support teacher just assigned them the egg drop challenge (design a container that will protect the egg when dropped from 20 feet). HE'S FUCKING 8, so he needs help. Also we live in an apartment, on the first floor. So, I need to find somewhere to drop this fucking thing.

I NEED A BREAK.

[isabel]

Oh man, I'd be so pissed at your H for not picking up some of the slack there. How frustrating.

[ssmjlm]

Oh I would have a mind to setup alarms on my H’s phone if he pulled that. Beauty of shared google calendars.

My vent is my kid wants some tacky stuff for Christmas and I don’t want to buy it. Also her list is too long and we’ve asked what her priorities are, which she says everything. THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS!

[nicolewi]

The egg is over the top! Seriously! Do they really think people have time for that crap right now?

[dcn]

I would be livid at my H.

I’m the treasurer of a non profit and the rest of the board keeps Planning events like there isn’t a pandemic. Yesterday the President said she wants to have a board meeting/Xmas party at her house. For 25 of us. Wtf. I opted out of a social craft thing they all did last month and she wanted to know why. Because I don’t want to catch covid!!!

[redheadbaker]

Just being able to vent somewhere made me feel better. I'll still be talking to H after DS goes to bed, but I feel calmer now.

[SusanBAnthony]

I just have zero fucks to give for school. I would give that egg a giant middle finger. Actually I'd give my kid the contents of the recycle bin and a roll of tape and say "go through town while mommy's in a conference call". Our school announced today that they are adding an attendance check in every day at the END of the school day. Fuck that. They can take a flying leap.

My h is also on my LIST but he made dinner tonight without being asked, and he made it early like I prefer, so he is 10% redeemed.

[circa1978]

Very (very) small solution but if it helps, I'd bet I'm attending the same conference and I realized today when I missed a session that they are all recorded and you can watch them after.

Your H needs to handle the egg.

[KellyEasterbrook]

Oct 20, 2020 16:48:39 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Not looking for solutions. Just need to virtually scream before I snap. I know what I need to do and what I need my H to do.

H and I are both working from home. We both work 8 to 5. DS is doing all-virtual school (3rd grade).

H works in IT support and spends a lot of the day on the phone, so it falls to me to to help DS with school. Fine. Works says they understand and will be flexible with anyone who has care obligations (child, elderly parents, etc). And H said he'd do all of the dog care. One dog has heart failure and one of her medications makes her super thirsty so she has to pee every four hours, meaning she needs to go out at least once during the work day.

He also says he will take DS to soccer practice (held two evenings a week) -- his only real chance for exercise and in-person socialization work friends.

Except ... Work is insane. I have four urgent projects due this week, on top of the graphic design conference I'm supposed to be "attending" virtually. While helping DS with school.

H never takes the dogs out in the middle of the day. Either he accidentally turned his reminder alarm off, or it goes off while he's in a call, so he turns out off and forgets about it.

Then he gets stuck late at work (on a call, or his manager schedules an after-hours meeting, or whatever) so I'm missing my conference, or canceling my haircut, etc, to take DS to soccer.

And DS' gifted support teacher just assigned them the egg drop challenge (design a container that will protect the egg when dropped from 20 feet). HE'S FUCKING 8, so he needs help. Also we live in an apartment, on the first floor. So, I need to find somewhere to drop this fucking thing.

I NEED A BREAK.

That’s a lot. I say get in the car, drive aimlessly and scream.

I’m supposed to be virtually attending that same conference and totally forgot about it until reading your post. Whoops.

[redheadbaker]

Oct 20, 2020 19:30:47 GMT -5 KellyEasterbrook said:

Oct 20, 2020 16:48:39 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Not looking for solutions. Just need to virtually scream before I snap. I know what I need to do and what I need my H to do.

H and I are both working from home. We both work 8 to 5. DS is doing all-virtual school (3rd grade).

H works in IT support and spends a lot of the day on the phone, so it falls to me to to help DS with school. Fine. Works says they understand and will be flexible with anyone who has care obligations (child, elderly parents, etc). And H said he'd do all of the dog care. One dog has heart failure and one of her medications makes her super thirsty so she has to pee every four hours, meaning she needs to go out at least once during the work day.

He also says he will take DS to soccer practice (held two evenings a week) -- his only real chance for exercise and in-person socialization work friends.

Except ... Work is insane. I have four urgent projects due this week, on top of the graphic design conference I'm supposed to be "attending" virtually. While helping DS with school.

H never takes the dogs out in the middle of the day. Either he accidentally turned his reminder alarm off, or it goes off while he's in a call, so he turns out off and forgets about it.

Then he gets stuck late at work (on a call, or his manager schedules an after-hours meeting, or whatever) so I'm missing my conference, or canceling my haircut, etc, to take DS to soccer.

And DS' gifted support teacher just assigned them the egg drop challenge (design a container that will protect the egg when dropped from 20 feet). HE'S FUCKING 8, so he needs help. Also we live in an apartment, on the first floor. So, I need to find somewhere to drop this fucking thing.

I NEED A BREAK.

That’s a lot. I say get in the car, drive aimlessly and scream.

I’m supposed to be virtually attending that same conference and totally forgot about it until reading your post. Whoops.

Adobe MAX? If so, at least most of them will be available to watch on-demand for a full year, with all that free time I have to catch up on video sessions.

[redheadbaker]

Oct 20, 2020 19:28:50 GMT -5 circa1978 said:

Very (very) small solution but if it helps, I'd bet I'm attending the same conference and I realized today when I missed a session that they are all recorded and you can watch them after.

Your H needs to handle the egg.

Yeah, they'll be available for a full year. I knew I'd miss at least a few anyway, since we still have a ton of projects and meetings in our regular workload. 

[KellyEasterbrook]

Oct 20, 2020 19:36:07 GMT -5 redheadbaker said:

Oct 20, 2020 19:30:47 GMT -5 KellyEasterbrook said:

That’s a lot. I say get in the car, drive aimlessly and scream.

I’m supposed to be virtually attending that same conference and totally forgot about it until reading your post. Whoops.

Adobe MAX? If so, at least most of them will be available to watch on-demand for a full year, with all that free time I have to catch up on video sessions.

Yep! Lol I think I’ll catch up when I find a nanny. So never.

[imojoebunny]

Virtual Scream! Do it. You deserve it.

Is there an older person nearby/in your apartment building who can "dog sit" you dog for a little bit of money during the day? A lot of older people are lonely now, so that might be a safe win win. I do not do jack crap for my gifted son's weird projects, and never have. He has chosen not to do some of them because he thought them ridiculous, especially in 4th grade, so maybe your kid is just precocious? Buy him a dozen eggs, save a bunch of recycling, and let your 8 year old figure it out. If he needs a 20 foot drop, look for one on a dog walk, and have him do the rest of the work. The egg thing can actually be kind of fun, except everyone googles the best way now, and so it is all the same. Don't do that, let your 8 year old figure it out and try all different ways he comes up with, then try them all. This could actually be fun and interesting, and entertain him.

[oregonpachey]

That is a lot. I hope you have a good talk with your H tonight and he picks up some of the slack.

I have two vents.

I am tired of being the responsible sibling. My mom lives 3000 miles away and is not in good shape health wise or money wise. I send her what I can to help. My younger sister can't afford to and my older sister who lives aerate away isn't speaking to my mom. I am tired of leave being the one to jump in. I sent her a dog crate, groceries and some goodies recently. I can't really afford to but whatever.

Second vent. We are limiting contact still, hardly go anywhere and haven't been away from the house for more than a couple of hours except to go fishing or to the wildlife refuge. Meanwhile, I have family members who are still flying, taking vacation all the time and not limiting contact. Why can't people just stay home? We are never going to get over COVID at this rate.

[dochas]

I would set 2 alarms. One for 3 hours after the dog goes out in the morning to tell you it's time to put the dog in your husband's office, or whatever room he's working in in the house. The second would be for 1 hour before soccer practice telling you it's time for your son to plant himself next to his father's desk with all of his soccer equipment.

We've gotten a puppy recently and it is much more work than any of us anticipated. I am no longer doing it all. I've been doing that since my son was born, and I cannot do it anymore. We got the breed my husband wanted, and I cannot become an expert dog trainer and do all of the care. I have insisted that he do something and he has done it, because he finally has been given no choice. 

My vent is I am so sick of my life and my schedule being upended. I am tired of nothing about school working the way it's supposed to. I'm tired of nothing working the way it's supposed to. I am tired of nothing being consistent. I am tired of constant stress and worry. I am tired. 

[ssmjlm]

Oct 20, 2020 19:28:40 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

Our school announced today that they are adding an attendance check in every day at the END of the school day. Fuck that. They can take a flying leap.

Oh hell no! That would piss me off so much. My kid is done when she’s done. I’m not logging in end of day.

[SusanBAnthony]

Oct 21, 2020 5:39:18 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Oct 20, 2020 19:28:40 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

Our school announced today that they are adding an attendance check in every day at the END of the school day. Fuck that. They can take a flying leap.

Oh hell no! That would piss me off so much. My kid is done when she’s done. I’m not logging in end of day.

I emailed the principal and superintendent and told them we weren't doing it, and advised them to fuck off (actually H made me delete that part lol). Instead I advised them to use their IT records since kids are logging into google classroom every day. Don't tell me google doesn't know what each of those kids are doing, we all know google is tracking everything.

We'll see if I get a response. I'm going to guess no.

[cricketwife]

I'm sorry for all the crap everyone is dealing with.

My vent is that on the one hand, I am TRULY grateful to still have a job. I mean, I seriously am. OTOH, I'm so very sad at work.  I used to have a job that I LOVED. I always described it as "the perfect real-life job."  Like, sure I could invent something like travel writer or photojournalist or ice cream taster that I might like more, but as far as real-life jobs, mine was perfect.  I loved it.  Well, I have gone from sharing an office, i.e. having a constant work-buddy/companion/friend and working on highly interpersonal projects, to sitting in an office alone, doing "my" job which has morphed into something completely different and 100% boring and not interpersonal. Even lunch, which used to be akin to a German biergarten, where you'd just pull up a chair in the cafeteria wherever there was space and chat with colleagues, is now eaten outside, no more than two to a table, or at one's desk.  But I don't have anybody to be the second person at my table (the person I used to share an office with has retired, which was good timing for her, but they aren't filling the position now. And everybody else seems to head to the cafeteria with their buddy.)  Anyway, I feel like a sad, lonely, middle-school kid with no friends.  

I'm glad to have a job.  I'm glad my company has kept me on, but it just sucks, sucks, sucks, and I don't see any end in sight. 

[ktw]

Ugh, I'm sorry for everything everyone is dealing with/venting about!

My vent is that I think we're about to lose the 3rd (full price or better) offer on our house. The first one, the inspector found mold in our basement, and that spooked the buyers so they walked (spoiler alert, there was not then, and is not now mold in our basement). The second inspector wanted us to get a CO for a change made by the previous owner to our garage when there was no evidence of structural or other issues with the garage. We refused, and the buyers still wanted to proceed. They "got cold feet" on THE DAY they were to sign the contracts because they felt our tax assessment was low and the taxes might go up at some point. The 3rd inspector found some issues that we can work through. HOWEVER, the 3rd septic inspector passed our system, but decided to write up that he feels that our septic system is only at half capacity, and will fail in 4 years. Never mind that it is only 6 years old. Never mind that the company that installed it stands by the fact that our system is appropriately sized for our house, and that NOBODY can predict how long a system will last. Never mind that the system has been inspected 2 other times THIS MONTH, and neither of those inspectors mentioned any such issue. I am so frustrated.

[SusanBAnthony]

Oct 21, 2020 8:34:44 GMT -5 ktw said:

Ugh, I'm sorry for everything everyone is dealing with/venting about!

My vent is that I think we're about to lose the 3rd (full price or better) offer on our house. The first one, the inspector found mold in our basement, and that spooked the buyers so they walked (spoiler alert, there was not then, and is not now mold in our basement). The second inspector wanted us to get a CO for a change made by the previous owner to our garage when there was no evidence of structural or other issues with the garage. We refused, and the buyers still wanted to proceed. They "got cold feet" on THE DAY they were to sign the contracts because they felt our tax assessment was low and the taxes might go up at some point. The 3rd inspector found some issues that we can work through. HOWEVER, the 3rd septic inspector passed our system, but decided to write up that he feels that our septic system is only at half capacity, and will fail in 4 years. Never mind that it is only 6 years old. Never mind that the company that installed it stands by the fact that our system is appropriately sized for our house, and that NOBODY can predict how long a system will last. Never mind that the system has been inspected 2 other times THIS MONTH, and neither of those inspectors mentioned any such issue. I am so frustrated.

This is basically my worst home selling nightmare.

[noodleoo]

Hope the talk went well!

I'm going to vent even though I know I'm lucky. DD1's school is in person, 5 half days for K and the aftershool is running. So we actually have decent childcare while H and I both WFH. DD1 woke up throwing up yesterday. She's fine now, but she can't go back to school until her Covid test results come back. This happened 2 weeks ago too. I have no idea what's going on with the vomiting, she has no other symptoms and was fine a few hours later both times. Yesterday she was pretty good but today she is driving me nuts and wants constant attention. I have gotten zero work done. Meanwhile my H is in the basement on calls and she leaves him alone. Cases are going up in our state and I'm just hoping so hard that they don't shut down the schools, but I know it is probably coming. The spring was miserable with both kids home. I don't know if I can do it again. I'm getting depressed and anxious just thinking about it.

[maudefindlay]

Oct 21, 2020 6:22:42 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

Oct 21, 2020 5:39:18 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

Oh hell no! That would piss me off so much. My kid is done when she’s done. I’m not logging in end of day.

I emailed the principal and superintendent and told them we weren't doing it, and advised them to fuck off (actually H made me delete that part lol). Instead I advised them to use their IT records since kids are logging into google classroom every day. Don't tell me google doesn't know what each of those kids are doing, we all know google is tracking everything.

We'll see if I get a response. I'm going to guess no.

For sure they do.  My DD's teacher said schools can see how often kids are clicking on the various apps/assignments daily and time spent on them. Several families who chose virtual had to send their kids back to in person because of too few clicks.

[ktw]

Oct 21, 2020 9:13:06 GMT -5 SusanBAnthony said:

Oct 21, 2020 8:34:44 GMT -5 ktw said:

Ugh, I'm sorry for everything everyone is dealing with/venting about!

My vent is that I think we're about to lose the 3rd (full price or better) offer on our house. The first one, the inspector found mold in our basement, and that spooked the buyers so they walked (spoiler alert, there was not then, and is not now mold in our basement). The second inspector wanted us to get a CO for a change made by the previous owner to our garage when there was no evidence of structural or other issues with the garage. We refused, and the buyers still wanted to proceed. They "got cold feet" on THE DAY they were to sign the contracts because they felt our tax assessment was low and the taxes might go up at some point. The 3rd inspector found some issues that we can work through. HOWEVER, the 3rd septic inspector passed our system, but decided to write up that he feels that our septic system is only at half capacity, and will fail in 4 years. Never mind that it is only 6 years old. Never mind that the company that installed it stands by the fact that our system is appropriately sized for our house, and that NOBODY can predict how long a system will last. Never mind that the system has been inspected 2 other times THIS MONTH, and neither of those inspectors mentioned any such issue. I am so frustrated.

This is basically my worst home selling nightmare.

Same

[erbear]

Oct 21, 2020 7:49:49 GMT -5 cricketwife said:

I'm sorry for all the crap everyone is dealing with.

My vent is that on the one hand, I am TRULY grateful to still have a job. I mean, I seriously am. OTOH, I'm so very sad at work.  I used to have a job that I LOVED. I always described it as "the perfect real-life job."  Like, sure I could invent something like travel writer or photojournalist or ice cream taster that I might like more, but as far as real-life jobs, mine was perfect.  I loved it.  Well, I have gone from sharing an office, i.e. having a constant work-buddy/companion/friend and working on highly interpersonal projects, to sitting in an office alone, doing "my" job which has morphed into something completely different and 100% boring and not interpersonal. Even lunch, which used to be akin to a German biergarten, where you'd just pull up a chair in the cafeteria wherever there was space and chat with colleagues, is now eaten outside, no more than two to a table, or at one's desk.  But I don't have anybody to be the second person at my table (the person I used to share an office with has retired, which was good timing for her, but they aren't filling the position now. And everybody else seems to head to the cafeteria with their buddy.)  Anyway, I feel like a sad, lonely, middle-school kid with no friends.  

I'm glad to have a job.  I'm glad my company has kept me on, but it just sucks, sucks, sucks, and I don't see any end in sight. 

This is how I feel, exactly. I'm a teacher and I love my job. I love my colleagues. I love my kids and what I do in class. This year, nothing is fun. No lunches, no activities, no happy hours, no smiles and laughter or "OMG, it's time to go! We didn't even notice!" It's depressing.

[formerlyak]

Oct 20, 2020 19:17:41 GMT -5 mofongo said:

Oct 20, 2020 17:59:40 GMT -5 nicolewi said:

The egg is over the top! Seriously! Do they really think people have time for that crap right now?

It could be beneficial to find somewhere to throw and break eggs! Cathartic!

I was thinking the same thing. Also, DS had to do the egg drop project at that age and it was part of the after care curriculum. Parents weren't involved at all. They gave them a table full of materials that they could use and the kids had to try to figure it out. Most of the eggs broke, but they loved it. I'd say make him Google it, find a video with a few options and run with it.

[waverly]

I am in the middle of interviewing for a new hire, and it is not going well. Fingers crossed tomorrow will be better. If not, I have a whole new round of people to contact and try to interview them. I hate when it drags on for weeks and weeks without anyone good. Just keep going I guess.

[hermione]

During the PTO meeting last night the President kept pushing to hold events like Chuck E. Cheese Night and Skate Night. Only K and 1st graders are f2f right now and only for 1/2 days.

When I pointed out that this not a good idea to encourage people to gather when all of our kids can’t even go to school, he said he chooses not to live in fear. I replied, “Can you explain why following recommendations from the scientific community during a global pandemic is the same as living in fear?”

Today he emailed me asking why I was so aggressive towards him.

[VillainV]

Oct 21, 2020 16:49:51 GMT -5 hermione said:

During the PTO meeting last night the President kept pushing to hold events like Chuck E. Cheese Night and Skate Night. Only K and 1st graders are f2f right now and only for 1/2 days.

When I pointed out that this not a good idea to encourage people to gather when all of our kids can’t even go to school, he said he chooses not to live in fear. I replied, “Can you explain why following recommendations from the scientific community during a global pandemic is the same as living in fear?”

Today he emailed me asking why I was so aggressive towards him.

Seriously. I work with a lot of people who keep talking about how all of the pandemic restrictions are resulting in increased anxiety in people, and I keep reminding them that for many (including me) it’s not the RESTRICTIONS that make them anxious, it’s having to be around people who refuse to even wear masks or do social distancing. If everyone would follow the rules, I wouldn’t be so freaking anxious!!!!

[mccallister84]

Two days in a row DD2 has stripped and gotten poop and pee all over her room.

Yesterday she took her diaper off and then pooped. I went to get her yesterday morning and she gleefully said “I pooped” while she was jumping up and down naked on her bed. Today she pooped in her diaper and then took it off and ran all around her room getting poop everywhere. H found her after nap because I had DD1 out for a walk.

[krystee]

I am working 60-hour weeks. I am so short staffed and burned out. I got yet another urgent request for something today while I was out buying pumpkins and I just started crying in line (yes, I was doing work email when buying pumpkins. It never ends.). There goes another night of no time to work out or unwind. My kids don’t fall asleep until 9, and I then I work 9-12 most nights. I am lucky to have a job, but I feel taken advantage of (my title should 100% be a level higher, which would also qualify me for twice the bonus I get) and overwhelmed.