How do you do things every day?

[onetruething]

Honest question for people who do this naturally and for my ADD sisters. How do you do things every day? I have the best of intentions but I feel like everything I want to do is sporadic at best. I do things for a couple of days and then I drop off. I feel like I've read a thousand books on this subject but can't pull it together. I was actually pretty good during quarantine when I was working from home, but now that I'm back at work and kids are busy again it's all gone back to hell.

[VillainV]

I guess I’m not entirely sure what you’re asking. Do you mean you have a goal to do something every day and are wondering how to do it? Or are you trying to figure out how to accomplish daily tasks?

I’m a list person. I like making a list of what I need to do, then crossing things off. I set daily reminders for things on my phone (like taking certain medication), then add other “to dos” to the list each day.

I meal plan, which makes dinners a lot easier because I’ve already planned out what I’m going to make each night.

But honestly....some days things go to crap, I only accomplish half of what I set out to do, and we end up getting takeout.

[bugandbibs]

I have routines that I try to stick to like laundry day. I can’t wash a load a day or it sits in the washer and has to be washed again. Instead I spend a day where I focus on just washing and putting away everything. I run the dishwasher every night or my kitchen somehow explodes. An alarm goes off on my phone every night at 7:30 and I spend about 30 minutes doing daily chores like vacuuming or cleaning off the dining room table.

I set a lot of timers and reminders or I lose track of time and forget stuff. I make a brain dump to do list and mark things off as I go every couple of weeks. I list everything I want/need to do like make an appointment or weed a flower bed. Seeing it written down motivates me. What sort of things do you have trouble getting done?

[TR]

Routine. For house stuff, Saturdays are for cleaning, Sunday is laundry. Usually on Thursdays I hit the grocery store because we have 3 Home Chef meals delivered every Monday so we’re set through Wednesday for dinners. For school, I have to-do lists. I plan out my whole next week for working on school stuff on Fridays. If my routine gets messed up, I flail around and nothing gets done.

[hocus2]

So I am also fuzy on what question but if you're asking about how to juggle work with home upkeep/family and friend stuff/random chores etc then I find that a few things are helpful.

1. Things that are must do like washing clothing or dishes are done at specific times. So the dishwasher is loaded every evening after dinner. Then you can either have a block of time each week or address ah-hoc stuff like hiring a gutter cleaner or planting bulbs etc.
2. If you can I'd outsource stuff so there is lesson your plate. We have someone moe the grass for example. It is harder now to do this as lots of folks don't want people inside their homes but there are still outside things that can be outsourced.
3. I do find it does help to keep track of all the little things somewhere because I forget them. For a while I had a lot of little things like finishing up postcards, getting some paperwork to someone, getting a flu shot, taking the car to get new wipers etc and I just decided to block of 30 mins each day to address one thing on the list.
4. Finally I think letting some stuff not get done is totally OK. There really are only so many hours in the day.

FWIW I usually take a day or two to do a bing deep de-clutter of the kitchen/office/livingroom. Those areas are always clean but often cluttered and that is hard to do in small batches as it often looks worse before it gets better.

[onetruething]

Oct 21, 2020 9:40:27 GMT -5 bugandbibs said:

I have routines that I try to stick to like laundry day. I can’t wash a load a day or it sits in the washer and has to be washed again. Instead I spend a day where I focus on just washing and putting away everything. I run the dishwasher every night or my kitchen somehow explodes. An alarm goes off on my phone every night at 7:30 and I spend about 30 minutes doing daily chores like vacuuming or cleaning off the dining room table.

I set a lot of timers and reminders or I lose track of time and forget stuff. I make a brain dump to do list and mark things off as I go every couple of weeks. I list everything I want/need to do like make an appointment or weed a flower bed. Seeing it written down motivates me. What sort of things do you have trouble getting done?

This is really helpful. I did have a lot of timers and reminders on my phone before covid.

Most of the stuff I struggle with are things I want to do daily but I push them off. Tidy up, vacuum, work out, 

[onetruething]

Oct 21, 2020 9:49:24 GMT -5 hocus2 said:

So I am also fuzy on what question but if you're asking about how to juggle work with home upkeep/family and friend stuff/random chores etc then I find that a few things are helpful.

1. Things that are must do like washing clothing or dishes are done at specific times. So the dishwasher is loaded every evening after dinner. Then you can either have a block of time each week or address ah-hoc stuff like hiring a gutter cleaner or planting bulbs etc.
2. If you can I'd outsource stuff so there is lesson your plate. We have someone moe the grass for example. It is harder now to do this as lots of folks don't want people inside their homes but there are still outside things that can be outsourced.
3. I do find it does help to keep track of all the little things somewhere because I forget them. For a while I had a lot of little things like finishing up postcards, getting some paperwork to someone, getting a flu shot, taking the car to get new wipers etc and I just decided to block of 30 mins each day to address one thing on the list.
4. Finally I think letting some stuff not get done is totally OK. There really are only so many hours in the day.

FWIW I usually take a day or two to do a bing deep de-clutter of the kitchen/office/livingroom. Those areas are always clean but often cluttered and that is hard to do in small batches as it often looks worse before it gets better.

Yes, I guess I didn't phrase it well but this is exactly what I'm asking! Thank you!

[wildrice]

I am terrible at this (and do have mostly untreated ADHD - no medication seems to help so I'm not on anything).

The only thing that sort of works for me is making a daily to-do list. I put 3-6 tasks that I need to accomplish that day on the list. I don't always do them, but it at least helps me prioritize and if I don't actually finish something one day, I move it to the next. This at least helps me with "I have 100 things to do and don't know where to start, so I'll just scroll through Facebook again instead".

I try not to make chores a big thing. I just do them here and there vs setting aside a whole day. So last night I vacuumed the kitchen because it seemed like it needed it. Today I know we have some dirty clothes so I'll throw in a load or two of laundry. We never leave dishes in the sink overnight so that's cleaned up every evening. I find keeping up with things as I see they need doing, and not making them into a BIG THING, helps me just knock them out. If I put things off until I have enough time to do them all, I will probably never do them.

But really this is my biggest life hurdle. I am not good at being productive and I spent about 95% of my life feeling bad about not getting more done. I am trying to just accept this is who I am and not let it get me down, but it's a bummer.

[isabel]

It took me a really long time to get to this point, but I’ve finally realized that I can’t try to do lots of new things at once. If I want to establish a new habit, I have to focus on just that one thing for several weeks until it becomes routine and sticks.

For example, I started routinely washing my face in August. Not using products, not doing anything else, just washing my face in the evening. Once that stuck, I added in a couple of products. After that, I started flossing daily. If I had tried to do all of that at once, as I’ve tried so many times before, it would have been overwhelming and I would have quit. Instead, it’s all as routine for me now as brushing my teeth.

I am starting an intermittent fasting routine now and keep reminding myself that I’m not changing how I eat right now, just when I eat. Once this sticks, I’ll start focusing on making better food choices. I’d also like to start exercising again, but that will wait until I’m in a good spot with my diet.

So my advice is to choose one thing you want to do and focus on only that. If you do that one thing, you’ve succeeded for the day. Once it becomes a habit, add in something else.

[ans1999]

I also use routines. I track my habits on a habit tracker app. I find that it is like a little competition with myself and it keeps me motivated. I am trying to do a load of laundry a day, load/unload dishwasher, and 15 min pick up so I have those in my tracker. I am also trying to be honest with myself about what I will actually do. I like laundry so I make that a week day habit. I hate vacuuming so I make that a weekend habit because I am more likely to do it when I have large blocks of time. 

[gretchenindisguise]

I use alarms and calendar reminders. Otherwise I lose track and things don't get done.

[msmerymac]

I use this planner for work and personal lists and schedules. It also includes the ability to plan goals and helps me prioritize.
fullfocusplanner.com/

Do I often get every single thing on my list cleared? No. Not at all. But it kind of operates on the "rocks" principle if you've heard of that. Determine your "Rocks" - aka major items. Then the pebbles (lesser items) and sand (non-important items) can fit around that. And if they don't, at least you've accomplished the most important items anyway.

[fumbalina]

Setting reminders helps. Also establishing habits. In theory it takes 21 days to make a habit. I find if I can power through for 30 days I can usually create a habit.

As a previous poster mentioned add one item at a time ir they all get lost.

I used to recommend Flylady.net but she has posted some political stuff that makes me want to avoid providing her any revenue including clicks. But the basic theory is you can do anything for 15 minutes.

[bugandbibs]

I found the blogger on www.aslobcomesclean.com/ to be super helpful in helping me stay focused. I mostly listen to her podcast as motivation. When I found her 5 years ago and realized she also did laundry day I knew I had found a good fit for me. She is really good at simplifying the housework side of things to help build routines.

[bugandbibs]

Oct 21, 2020 10:29:17 GMT -5 fumbalina said:

Setting reminders helps. Also establishing habits. In theory it takes 21 days to make a habit. I find if I can power through for 30 days I can usually create a habit.

As a previous poster mentioned add one item at a time ir they all get lost.

I used to recommend Flylady.net but she has posted some political stuff that makes me want to avoid providing her any revenue including clicks. But the basic theory is you can do anything for 15 minutes.

I have always had an aversion to Flylady because some of her building blocks are really anti to my culture, but their is a youtuber that I really like that is based off of her in a way that works better for me. It’s A Secret Slob thesecretslob.com/

[twilightmv]

So what I've come to realize is that with ADD comes poor impulse control and executive planning functions. It just looks different in a forty year old woman than an 8 year old boy (I'm not a doctor). I basically force myself to ignore my impulses and think about my long term happiness. It's process, but successes have given me confidence. So I'll think, my impulse is to ignore this difficult email/buy this expensive XYZ/order a pizza instead of cooking for myself. And I force myself to question the impulse and plan for what I want long term instead. I also get the most difficult things done earlier in the day. It sets a good pattern for the day and I usually continue to make better, more responsible and productive decisions, throughout the remainder of the day. And even if I slip up, I know I took care of the critical thing.

[eddy]

Routines and lists.

I usually make myself a get done this week list and a long term (month) list. That helps me focus on what is really important for me to get done this week, plus a way to write down stuff I want to get done in the next 30 days.

I also in general am pretty regimented on how I do things. It is the only way I can feel like I have any level of control.

[eddy]

Also an example. I HATE phonecalls. I will do anything in the world to avoid phone calls.

Monday mornings are my phone call time for personal stuff. I just tell myself that is when I am going to do them and just get through them quick. That takes the pressure off of me to think every other day "Oh should I call to make that appointment." Nope, unless it is urgent I am going to push it off until Monday morning. Then afterwards I feel an unreasonable amount of accomplishment lol.

[waverly]

I too was more on top of things during the quarantine. I learned that everything needs to be done more often. For example taking out the recycle to the garage should be daily or twice a day.

We do dishes every night immediately after dinner, and clean the kitchen/ wipe counters/ clean sink.

I have a Roomba that does my vacuuming daily which is great because DH did not help with vacuuming at all, and it was very tiring for me to do it all the time since I have a big house with lots of levels. We actually have 2 Roombas for the different levels.

I do have a laundry day, but I have more than can be done in one day, so let's say I have 2 days of laundry.

I keep a list on my phone, and also a work list in the work account.

[NewGirlNic]

Some things are routine. Some I make lists for (on paper, so I can physically cross them off). Others I have to prepare for (both mentally and physically)

My morning routine, I prep for the night before... Pour water in my yeti, set out a lemon and the juicer thing and ACV (apple cider vinegar). I hate drinking ACV, but it's making a difference in my digestion, acid reflux etc. If I don't set it out the night before, it's an easy "out" to not take it. 

I make a list every morning when I sit down at my desk. Some stuff is transferred from the day before. I star things that are urgent/important. 

I set a goal to walk the dog 5 days a week, minimum and try and either go a little further or beat my previous mile pace. I also schedule other workouts in my outlook calendar and have a reminder. Half to hold myself accountable, half so my time is blocked and coworkers don't invite me to meetings or conference calls. 

We have a large wall calendar on the side of the fridge and I make household lists on there. Projects for around the house, things I want to get done (returns to the post office, baking projects etc)

My nighttime routine is engrained in me and I can't sleep without removing my makeup and doing my skincare. 

I have things I want to do around the house, that have been on a mental to do list for years. Like organize the front coat closet, paint the basement stairs and stairway... they just always fall to the bottom of the list. 

[joy]

Well - there are things that I do every day. It helps if I have a daily routine so I 1. Remember to do the things that need to be done and 2. Know I have built in time to get these things done.

Mornings are really just up and go to work.

Evenings are where things turn busy. I leave at 4:30pm to walk to daycare and we’re home by 6pm. Dinner for child, dinner for me. I also go through the mail immediately - throw away what is garbage, separate important mail for me and my husband, and put those mail items in a designated place (our desks upstairs).

Between 6pm and 7pm, I will make lunches for the next day, empty the dishwasher and then reload the dishwasher.

7:30pm is bath time for the kid.

8:30pm is bedtime for the kid.

After bedtime, I shower. Then it’s downstairs to clean up toys, repack daycare bag, pack up my work stuff, and then relax until bed.

I’ve lowered my standards when it comes to laundry. I used to wash it, fold it and put it away all within a few hours. I can’t dedicate that kind of time anymore. So, I wash and dry it. It comes upstairs to the rooms and is put away before bedtime one night that is convenient.

I also dedicated three days recently to getting the house back to baseline. It was a disaster from lockdown and some construction we had done. Now that it’s cleaned up, organized and there are room for things, it makes spending 10 minutes each night cleaning up SO. MUCH. EASIER. And downright satisfying.

[lilac05]

You’ve gotten a lot of great ideas, and I’m going to go back and invest some time in reading them again.

I mostly just wanted to post to say that you’re not alone. I’m struggling right now with this and can’t seem to figure out what works for me at the moment.

Laundry day works well for me. eddy, I love the idea of setting a day for phone calls, too! I recently started doing that with weekly paperwork and that helps a lot! (Unfortunately I have a LOT to catch up on from before I started this.)

I always have to reminder that I have yet to find something that works long-term. I think it’s just the way things are for me. Once things stop working, I just try to move on to a new strategy instead of trying to force myself to stick with the other.

[doctoranda]

I also make a lot of list and actually put tasks in my calendar. It looks very full but if I follow it I frequently get everything done and even have some time left over. I also plan meals and put them in the calendar. I sometimes do different things but it really helps in terms of getting things done and not having to keep things in my mind all the time (which makes me feel so overwhelmed).

[jezebel]

I just do things whenever I do them. I have no shopping day or laundry day.

I don’t have ADD. I just don’t like routines. Everything gets done, just not on a schedule. It works fine for me.

[sdlaura]

I agree on routine. If I do things at the same time everyday, then they don’t take up space on my brain. So wake up, feed baby, go for a jog means that I exercise daily (I also have an Apple Watch with a calorie goal and that helps). DH and I tidy up every night after the kids are in bed, before we sit down to relax.

On a lot of the other stuff - I just have low standards. With kids and full time jobs, it takes awhile to get to most stuff on my to do list (which I keep in my phone) and that’s fine. Every once in a while I have a day where I’m motivated and will knock a bunch of it out.

[lurkie22]

My H has ADHD and has a hard time sticking to routines because he loses track of time. We just started using the app Routinery for the morning routine with the kids. H says it's good and it's been working. You can put in all the steps of your routine for different parts of the day, and it'll remind you at each different step.

[meganew]

Oct 21, 2020 10:52:18 GMT -5 eddy said:

Routines and lists.

I usually make myself a get done this week list and a long term (month) list. That helps me focus on what is really important for me to get done this week, plus a way to write down stuff I want to get done in the next 30 days.

I also in general am pretty regimented on how I do things. It is the only way I can feel like I have any level of control.

Oh hi, we're the exact same person. 

It took the quarantine for me to realize just how heavily I rely on my schedules and routines to keep my mental health afloat. I LOVE making lists, and usually have a few going at once- if I don't have a list I get overwhelmed and can't figure out where to start. The minute things shut down I lost it, because there was no way to organize my time and no familiarity in a routine- and not being able to plan because things were so uncertain? Hell. Luckily I found new routines to make up for the old ones- not sure if it's an entirely healthy way to handle it, but it works. Lol. 

My H, who does have ADD, also has trouble with this- and his answer is weed. Full stop. For some people it makes them lazy, for him it makes him laser focused. He can clean the house from top to bottom, get all his work done, and prep dinner before I've even started my day. He has a medical card and it's been such a game changer for him. 

[cleo29]

I forget things a lot. I have to put things in my calendar on my phone or I will really forget. I am definitely not great at follow through, but I am working on it. I feel like the inside of my brain is giant pinball machine; just when you think the ball is going one direction bing! there it goes in another.

I am looking into getting assessed, again, and possibly meds.

[jlt19]

I struggle with this as well. I'm loving a lot of these suggestions. I do have a million lists but dummy me has them all over the place in One Note and I can't find half of them. And I have a ton of reminders on my calendar, but I also have a habit of snoozing them.

My life has changed a LOT over the past six months, working in an office for 15 years to unemployed/quarantined for 4 months, then working from home in a new, ever changing job with no real routine, so that's all been a huge contributor. And now with the potential of being separated soon, it'll be even more change/stress. I'm not even sure anything would work for me at this point.

My only advice for many here, is getting a roomba of sorts. I bought a $100ish one and it's been great.