If you were torn on selling/moving, and did, please come in.

[Susie]

H and I are going mildly insane in our house, which we've loosely planned for the last 5-ish years to add onto when we were in a financial position to do so.  We're finally starting to talk seriously about it.  

Some of our issues are temporary.  We're a family of 4, at near peak "kid crap" phase (kids are 5 and 1.5), and suddenly home all the time together.  We haven't had a cleaning lady in 3 months (had to fire our old one, and haven't found a replacement, not for lack of trying.)  It is a recipe for hating our house, lol.  But ignoring those temporary problems, since kid #2 our house has been tight in lots of little ways, and that isn't going to change.  The proposed addition would ease the office/bedroom/bathroom aspect, but the house still is not great on storage.  Neighbors with the same house design comment on the same thing -- e.g., it's a 4 bedroom house designed for a family, but it's hard to store a family's worth of food and stuff in the kitchen.  It's hard for a whole family to share 1.5 bath.  Etc.

So we're going round and round exploring options on moving vs. renovating.  The conversation keeps coming back to roughly these points:

Pro renovating:
- Emotional ties to improvements, built in features, landscaping, gardening, particular plants.  Most of these are things we DIYed and/or my dad helped us do.
- Keeping specific improvements that are exactly to our taste, e.g., bath renos
- End up with a less expensive house in the end (we tend to be fairly financially conservative), and avoid buying more than we need.  Kids won't live at home forever.

Pro moving:
- Scratching all the itches about our current house:  a noisy neighbor that we dislike (although all the others are great), storage, kitchen is just a tad too small, windows are small, lack of mudroom/laundry room on main floor, upgrade to a bigger garage and yard.
- not living through major renos with kids.  First the upstairs, eventually the kitchen will need it too...
- It's easier to finance a purchase than a reno, and mortgages are cheap right now.  In contrast, we have limited equity that we could borrow against (due to a 80% LTV cap on total of mortgage + HEL) so a reno would need to largely be paid in cash.

Basically, moving may make more sense, but I can't get past the bolded.  We never planned to move, not because it was a dream house but because it was home and we were happy there, and we proceeded accordingly.

A new listing came on the market today and it checks almost all our boxes.  H wants to go see it.  I kind of do too, except... I know exactly what I'll think.  It's move-in ready, mostly neutral, and lovely.  Within budget.  But it isn't "mine," and I don't have time (see also kids and career) to make it mine the way my current house is.  I don't want to leave all that behind.

If you can relate at all to feeling that way -- many of my friends are urban apartment dwellers and can't -- and made the move anyway, can you speak to whether you were glad?  Or regret it?  I feel like between covid, school shutdowns, and a million other temporary frustrations, I don't have clear sight for a decision this big.

[froggy76]

I won't be any help... we are renovating. I am so emotionally attached to my house. It's just home. We are practically gutting the whole thing in a few months so it feels silly to say that and then rip the whole house apart, but I've been checking for new house listings for years and have never seen anything else that felt like it fit us so well.

We have saved for years, so most of the reno will be in cash, but we expanded the scope of the project and are in the midst of a cash-out refinance to come up with the rest of the money for the reno. We have a lot of equity. We're also moving out of the house for 4-5 months while it's being renovated.

Good luck with whatever you decide. House inventory is so low in my area... not sure if that's the case in yours, but if you see something good on the market it's worth looking at. Mortgage rates are SO low right now too.

[k3am]

We (ok "I") made.. so, so, so, so many spreadsheets when making our decision. We moved.  And all my emotional sentiments about the old house? They fade.

I question it sometimes. If we'd stayed where we were, we'd have the house almost paid off (which... is rare in the Bay Area for people under 40!) and could comfortably afford in person private for DD without thinking about it, along with a ton of other financial luxuries.

But the bigger house, nicer neighborhood, and better schools won us over. And while schools don't play into consideration now (since they're closed, and will be until 2047 at this rate), those first two factors I think about and appreciate every single day, especially in covid.

And don't base your decision on good or bad neighbors. I was so sad to leave behind our great neighbors.. most of them have since moved too. And we have great neighbors again. We also left one really awful neighbor behind, and have an awful neighbor here too. We just.. call the new neighbor by the old neighbor's name, so even if they overhear us talking about them, they don't know it's about them.

[Accountingcat]

Anyway to think outside of the box on a reno? Do you have a basement? Just brainstorming, based on another family I know. They had a lot of the same issues you do: tight kitchen, no pantry/storage, overflowing kid items and needed an office that they couldn't have upstairs due to not enough bedrooms. They ended up remodeling their basement ($30k) and it worked out great. The basement was only like 700 sq ft but they did a tv/playroom, storage room, and an office that basically had kitchen cabinets along two ten-foot walls. I think it will also help them down the road when they start having teenagers over to hang out. They have been the inspiration for my basement remodel.

[lilac05]

Go see the house. You may go and see it and find out that you don’t love it after all. Maybe the layout is funny, it smells, there’s a lot out of camera sight, etc. Once you know what you’re talking about, I think it’ll be easier.

We haven’t been in your exact position, but we’ve had to move away from what we thought was our forever home. Twice. Those homes still hold a special place in my heart, but this year more than even, I’m beyond thankful for our space. And as the kids age, I’m glad we have more space to spread out (they’re 7 and 10 now). What I think really helped for me was that I did a walk-through of our old homes after we had packed up and spent a little time in every single room. I took time to remember the memories that we made in those rooms, the things I loved about them, and just took a moment to soak it all in one more time. I cried. A lot. Even typing this brings tears to my eyes. It provided much-needed closure. But not once have I regretted moving to where we are now.

Depending on the type of plants, it’s very possible that you can move them. My parents even transplanted a lace leaf Japanese Maple and it did very well with the move. If it’s larger stuff, you’ll still be able to drive by and enjoy it/talk to your kids about it. We do that with our old house and talk about the special tree we planted in front and how their uncle helped us with that. We can’t enjoy it daily, but we still enjoy it.

[Susie]

Accountingcat, We have a partial basement -- under the foyer/living room/dining room/kitchen but not under the family room -- and it's pretty well utilized already.  The back half is unfinished, and houses a work bench, storage shelving, furnace, hot water heater, laundry, a utility sink, and chest freezer.  The front half is semi-finished and is used as a workout room, and has a 2nd fridge and built in closets in the corners.  We use one of those closets as an inconveniently located pantry.  There isn't a lot of potential to squeeze a lot more in down there, I'm afraid.

We had long been planning to go up over the garage with a master suite addition. The idea was that we could move out of our (largest) bedroom, turn that into an office/sewing room, move my desk and sewing stuff out of the living room and up to there, freeing up the LR for something else, have an extra closet, an extra bathroom, and overall relieve pressure on the house. I was encouraged by how many I see in our neighborhood, but unfortunately I'm getting a pretty hopeless vibe about the finances of it.

Another potential option to improve our use of the space we have would be to knock the wall out between the kitchen & dining room, and make it into a giant eat-in kitchen with improved storage.  Right now the DR is pretty (I mean, relative to the rest of our house) but it's not a great use of square footage.  But we need the upstairs reno (a 2nd full bath) more, and the kitchen wouldn't happen for years.  Possibly too many years to be useful.

The final option that I see in our neighborhood is turning the garage into living space.  But that has always seemed like kind of a non-starter to me.  We have a snowblower, lawn mower, spreaders, a bunch of bikes, trikes, trailer, scooters, other kid toys, a car cargo box, wheelbarrow, ladders, gardening tools, and a million other bulky things that really need a garage.  That one also seems really iffy for resale.

I feel like all the options kind of suck, and I'm frustrated.

[statgirl]

We moved in the summer of 2018. We wanted more land to space from the neighbors, bigger bedrooms, and a man cave. We thought about renovating our 4/2 into a 3/2, putting up trees, and building a shed and kicked the can down the road from 2014 until fall 2017, when we started saving aggressively (vs half-heartedly). In Spring 2018, we decided to look seriously and if there was nothing by Fall 2018, make our current house (bought in 2007) ours.

We had a hassle getting pre-qualified for a mortgage (my husband was a “credit risk” as he had no credit score anymore—we had paid off our house a few years earlier), but we found a credit union that did manual underwriting.

In May 2018, we toured every possible just to get an idea of places (we had been looking online for years but never visited). The second house we viewed ticked most boxes—large rooms, a man cave, but only 3 bedrooms and 2 acres. However, it was heavily wooded and square so the neighbors were not on top of it. We saw it at 10, went to lunch, and decided to go for it. We are planners, so it was a risk. We even joked we would write their dog into our offer.

So...we got it (and the dog—they were moving overseas and couldn’t take him).

Three months later a hurricane hit and our woods (and man-cave) went away. We still owned the original house, so we got to decide which to keep and which to fix up fast to sell. We kept the new house. Our woods are sparse, we have a new fence with the neighbors, and built a giant man cave shed. I still don’t have “my” space but we have space enough to all work from home and distance learn as needed. (My kids are now 5 and 8).

[mrsukyankee]

I'll say that we did two reno's on one home...moved to MIL's house. Did a reno on that home to make it our own (loved the reno and the house, didn't love everything about the area). And we moved again in 2020 only 2-1/2 years after finishing the reno on my MIL's house. I honestly thought MIL's house would be our forever home and then we changed our mind when a friend moved into our current area and we fell in love with it. We found a place that truly works better for us and MIL, location and the house itself. We just did a reno here this summer (new kitchen and some of the back yard) and we're doing more as we go along. It's not quite 'home' yet, but it will be one day. I am happy we moved.

[Susie]

I just emailed a realtor friend to set up a showing at the new listing.  I don't know how to feel.

As I sit and do the math, to renovate our current house, we would spend:
$240,000 - purchase price in 2008
$100,000 - ballpark master suite addition
$ 40,000 - total ballpark just to put in a number for the kitchen reno we need eventually (it is 1985 original)
________
$380,000 for our current house

and at the end of that, for $380k, we'd have a lovely, updated house... that still has a single car garage, no mudroom, basement laundry, a kitchen that's smaller than I wish it was, 0.25 acre, neighbors closer than I prefer, neighbors on all sides (including back).

The new listing is asking $409,900.  It's lovely and updated, and I dislike very little about it aesthetically.  There's like one bathroom counter that I don't like.  It has a 2 car garage, a mudroom/laundry room on the first floor, a bigger basement (for kid rec area), 0.68 acre, no back neighbor.  It's ~3 miles from our current house, same school district but different elementary.  My kindergartener would change schools next school year for 1st grade, but with this weird covid year it's hard to say how much that would matter.  Middle and high schools are the same as our current house.

If it bears out in person as it seems online... this seems crazy not to jump on, right?  One of the credit unions we bank with is offering 2.875% for 30 years fixed, this seems like a great time to make this kind of move.

[Accountingcat]

Susie, I think you are moving Sounds like it is worth it.

[Susie]

So we're now talking with a realtor, and she is showing it to someone else this afternoon (it was listed yesterday).  I am having terrible flashbacks to my first (only) home buying experience in 2008.  We offered on 8 houses to get the one we live in now.  We kept losing multiple offer contests.  It took 7 months to get a contract on a house, and 4 more months stuck in a super long escrow, with expiring rate locks.  That experience was honestly a big part of not wanting to buy again.  

UGH.  

Buying would also mean selling.  I would be selling, during covid, with a WFH husband and a remote-school kindergartner, a 19 month old, and a dog.  

Again.  There is no path here that does not feel insane!

But I feel like starting the conversation with the realtor is a big step.  

[k3am]

Susie, in your area, are you able to put an offer in on a house with the contingency of selling yours? The process sucks, but once you're done? Worth it.

[Susie]

Jan 5, 2021 12:10:07 GMT -5 k3am said:

Susie , in your area, are you able to put an offer in on a house with the contingency of selling yours? The process sucks, but once you're done? Worth it.

Yes, although it would make our offer less attractive if we were to end up in a multiple offer situation again.  Absent a bridge loan, we would need to sell and align the closings in order to put 20% down.  We could probably only swing 10% with cash on hand, and I don't want PMI.

The good news is that I expect our house would probably sell reasonably quickly.  The footprint is very "stock", it's a relatively affordable house, and several of our model sell every year in our neighborhood, usually reasonably fast as long as they're updated.  I like to think we've done nice updates, and while there are some accent colors, a lot of it is reasonably neutral.

The idea of having/keeping it show ready is intense though.  This is not something I wanted for myself in this phase of life!  Definitely need to get a storage unit to just clear out some crap.

[nicolewi]

I agree with go SEE the house, and any others that seem like they have potential. You owe it to yourself to know what's out there and not make a decision in a vacuum.

I am pro "find a house that works for you now" and change later if you want, not "stay in a small house that doesn't really work b/c we won't have kids forever."

I can't judge the emotional value or monetary/practical value of your location, lot, neighbors, etc--those things totally matter. However, if your house already doesn't quite work and needs a lot of renovation, you might be better off moving.

I have four kids, but I have to say that the "kid craP" stage is still fully valid for us. I mean, yeah, no high chair, pack-n-play, play mats, etc. BUT, we have sports gear, bikes, scooters, snow sleds, bigger clothes, bigger coats, tons of toys, board games, etc. We have so.much.stuff. I also think that as kids get bigger, they want more hang-out space to be in with friends if they have a way to get it.

I am coming from a place where people have big yards and big houses, compared to many areas I hear about on here. So...keep in mind the angle I'm coming from. I know people can and do live in tiny houses and do just fine, but if you have the financial capacity to make things work better for you, then I would consider doing that. Maybe you don't need a garage full of "toys" if you don't have a big yard to play in anyway. We also live in a cold winter climate, so kids have so.much.stuff in terms of snow pants, bulky coats, boots, hats, etc. We have ice skates for all of us, and just six big ice skate boxes alone take up a lot of room!!!

All of the particular issues you noted would be HUGE for me as kids get bigger. Mudroom/laundry/garage are some of the most important zones. Also kitchen!!! Additionally, I would want more than one full bath for sure. I mean, those things are basically THE main things I think you need to function well with kids growing up.

So...I would look around and do some math, if I were you. Renovation is really expensive and a lot of work and hassle unless you are dead set on staying in your location or something. For you to do kitchen, baths, addition over garage, etc, would cost a lot and maybe still not give you what you really want. But only you know how important the emotional aspect is for you. Maybe for you, that outweighs everything else.

[dr.girlfriend]

I think you're smart to look around. We monitored real estate in our area for AGES and realized we just were never going to find something to buy that would fit our needs as well as the renovation would. But, as you said, we did a hell of a renovation without any care as to resale (e.g., an awesome master bedroom suite but the house still only has three bedrooms and no garage).

One thing I had not planned into my calculations was transfer tax...not sure how universal this is, but here there is a transfer tax for buying and for selling, and I think the two together would have been about 3% (the seller pays all of the tax for the home they're selling, something like that? We didn't have to pay anything when we bought because it was our first home, but if we upgraded we would have to pay it for the home we were selling and the home we were buying I think, and 3% of 40k is close to 15k that I did not really add into my costs-and-benefits sheet.

[scm1011]

We are in the same boat, except I'm not particularly attached to our home, just our general neighborhood, which has very very low inventory. I'd much rather sell/buy then live through a major renovation with a toddler and preschooler, but stock for what we're looking for is SO LOW we may be waiting forever. We are also in a situation where we'd need to sell to put down 20% and a bridge loan would 100% put us out of the running where we live. So we're looking at selling and then relocating temporarily until the perfect house magically comes on the market. Which honestly still sounds preferable to living through a reno to me lol. I feel paralyzed with indecision and in the meantime live in a house that has ONE CLOSET.

So, no help - just commiseration.

[hbomdiggity]

Not the same, but we did a major renovation and then due to job change moved out of state. I was so emotionally attached to that house for a variety of reasons. And we basically finished the reno punch list just in time for listing pics.

While I certainly understand the emotional attachment, it doesn’t outweigh what actually works for your family.

I think most people renovate because either it’s significantly cheaper or what they want simply doesn’t exist so they have to build it. For us it was the cost - for $50k we fixed very awkward layout issues and upgraded finishes. To buy that already done would have required a jump of at least $200k, so the renovation made sense. With your numbers it seems much more a coin flip.

[aprilsails]

We did two full gut renovations on our last house (kitchen/living spaces and basement) to make it perfect for us. All we had left to do was each of the upstairs bathrooms eventually (the finishes were fine but getting older) and replace the bedroom carpets once the cats were no longer with us.

Yeah, once we had the basement renovation done we quickly realized that a 3 bedroom was not a 4 bedroom and that adding extra living space in the basement didn’t make the useless garage useful (couldn’t fit a tiny car in there) or really add much value for us. We had also bought in that neighbourhood ten years earlier due to excellent transit access to downtown. However, both DH and I were now working in different outlying suburbs and while we were able to counter commute, we couldn’t drive together or take transit anymore. Now Covid means DH will WFH likely permanently, so having that 4th bedroom as an office is priceless.

DH was attached to the house and the renovations but I wasn’t. I was constantly looking for comparable real estate because I didn’t see how we would manage long term, and DHs long commute bothered me more than him (as in I had to manage the kid alone from 4:45 and make dinner while he waltzed in at 6:45 most nights).

I know this doesn’t help you but I figured I had a short window before DD started kindergarten and we wanted to plant more roots. Luckily I found a custom builder in the outlying suburb between our two job locations. It’s a longer drive to our parents’ houses, but a 15 minute commute is amazing. DH and I were able to choose all the finishes so it feels just as much like our house as the last one did with all of our customizations. I can continue to gush about our new community, but suffice to say we really feel as though we won the lottery (although the buyer of our old house just sold after 17 months, and made an $125k profit, so he really freaking won the lottery).

Our market is also competitive for buyers (obviously) and was also when we originally bought in 2011. I would suggest you go take a look. House hunting is extremely stressful in short bursts. A massive renovation is stressful every day for months.

[pittpurple]

I'm in Scotland so the specifics are a bit different, but we are moving in a few weeks. Went around in circles for ages about it (houses are way smaller here, our current house is 900 square feet, 3 bedrooms, tiny kitchen, 1 bathroom and a living room) but we could have finished the attic to make an extra bathroom and bedroom. We absolutely love our street and have done so much work on our house to make it ours. Brought our son home to this house, my daughter moved at 1 so doesn't remember anything else - etc, etc, etc.

BUT... whatever we did with that attic, we'd still have a miniscule kitchen and no driveway (street parking) and no ground floor bathroom... some of the things that bother us now would never change. We found a super ugly house we can afford that's 4 bed/2.5 bathrooms with a garage and driveway and still in the same school district. We are tripling our mortgage so that comes with all sorts of stress but we'd have had to take a loan to do the extension anyway and at least we theoretically get our money back on a higher value home (not that we will ever move again).

Our house sold in a week - starter houses with gardens are flying (again, Scotland but probably true worldwide!) and we were able to offer a bit under on the new house as it's super ugly. We will fix it up slowly and I'm going to assume I'll love it in a couple of years. And we will never have to move again.

Totally understand the debate - we talked about this for YEARS but when this specific house came up and we went to see it, it made for an easy decision. We could picture ourselves there and the footprint is exactly what we want long term - our kids will be happy here as they get older and there are things about it that will make it easier for us as we get older too.

I think if you see a house and you start working out where your furniture will go and what colour the walls will be you know that it could work for you - and then it's much easier to think straight. Good luck!

[icedcoffee]

I would move. There’s a lot that makes your current house less than ideal and not one thing that would make it worth living through serious renovations to still have an imperfect choice. It would be different if current house was the perfect downtown location or something you know? You can find something better that will be better in every way rather than just a few. Moving and selling is annoying but I think ultimately you’ll be happy you did.

[circa1978]

Our last move was somewhat sudden and occurred immediately after we finished major remodels in our master bath and finished basement that I loved. A lot of the other improvement projects were custom built by my brother - built-ins, cabinets in our kitchen, molding all over. But our location was killing me, adding at least 20 minutes on to my already long commute.

H saw our current house on Halloween weekend, we made an offer before our house was sold, not contingent, it was accepted and we spent a very tense month selling our house at a profit, even including the improvements, sold in 29 days and closed on both houses the week before Christmas.

I have no regrets. We bought our house low as it had a bunch of cosmetic work needed and have gained over $150K in value in the past four years. I like this house a lot but wouldn't hesitate to leave tomorrow. I really, really try to take emotion out of real estate. It's your home but for most people, it's also your greatest financial asset. The remodel as you laid out is not a financial decision I would personally make, objectively.

[macmars45]

H, DS(4.75) and I moved out of our Seattle area TH 6 months ago (June) and into a duplex rental. The sale of our TH was complete 2 months later (August), we bought an incomplete new construction house 2 weeks (September). We moved into our new home 3 months later (December). Closing took forfreakingever! In the Seattle area it took 20 days. In our new city it took 45 AND there were hiccups along the way due to shortages of people to do the work.
We moved to a completely different city so the rental was a must in COVID times. We now have local family but it seemed prudent to have separate houses. Plus it was better for my H's mental health.

The market was/is crazy. Low inventory and great mortgage rates means everything is a bidding war. We loved the neighborhood we rented in but houses there were selling (including the bidding wars) for basically what we bought our brand new construction house for. It was madness.

Layout was super important to us. As was having two living areas. We were super picky. There were two houses we saw that I could see myself living in. One of those is my house. We don't plan to move for 20-40 years. This is the house we will downsize from.

Moving twice during COVID was super stressful and hard, but H and I are glad we ended up here when we did. We were never going to get a SFH with a yard, be able to install solar or compost in our Seattle area TH. We were priced out of every upgrade within an hour drive of our TH.
I will say it's been really hard on DS. However, a lot of that is due to COVID lack of socialization. In normal times he'd be in preschool, attending church Sunday School, seeing extended family and making friends.

[Susie]

I talked to our (gulp) realtor this morning.  The house I really liked, has 4 offers with 2 more expected, in 48 hours on the market.  We're not going to see it because it's already pretty hopeless.  We would be racing around to get a preapproval letter to be the 7th offer, and it's going to go well over asking.

There is nothing on the market I'm even interested in seeing right now, so it's just sit tight.  Nothing has really changed, except that we maybe have some new bounds on what we're willing to do/not do with our house, and a couple non-binding action items:  
- No more money into the house, it all goes into the DP fund.  
- At casual pace, I need to reach out to our credit union to get a preapproval letter so we're ready for quick action if something good comes on the market.
- Finish up a couple projects so we could list whenever we need to.  We have a few more linear feet of trim to paint white, and 3 of 4 bedrooms need closet doors.  Then we will be 100% finished turning the dark stained trim to white.  Just in time to sell, sob.
- Purge, purge, purge anything we don't need and wouldn't want to move with.  When/if it's time to list, we would move even more stuff out to a storage unit, but no sense paying for that before we need it.

She said our house will sell fast, and it doesn't really matter what time of year.  So at least that's good to hear.  The plan is not to list until we find something to buy since that will be much harder.

[aprilsails]

Sounds like a good plan Susie. Being in a house that already works for you has an advantage, and it’s a good idea to have a preapproval for the spring. There are no listings in my area right now, but there’s always much more movement in April and May.

[shaynaatl]

We did the moving and selling thing during Covid, and it was obviously a big hassle, but we are very happy we did it. Unlike you though, we didn't really have any emotional attachment to the previous house. We had been there for 2 yrs, and we were content. But something about the combination of the location and some house features made us not love it. It didn't bring us joy.

That kicked off the conversation of- is a house supposed to bring you happiness? Or is it just a place to live where you want safety and good schools? Is it worth moving and having the financial hit of commission? We decided to both get on board, and listed last March. It went under contract quickly, so we moved into an apartment for the summer. Finally, a place came on market in late summer and we were under contract within a day.

The moving twice was definitely rough, especially with 2 small kids. But (knock on wood), we are extremely happy at the new house and location, and we are glad we went through it all.

[simpsongal]

Susie that's a great update! I was going to say, although making offers will be stressful b/c competition is insane right now, you'll benefit from that when it's time for you to sell. I have 2 good friends that have sold houses in the past 4 months and they went immediately, over asking w/multiple offers.

Your family is young, your purse strings are getting looser - I think you'll relish the opportunity to fix up a larger home. You may get an edge when bidding if you're willing to buy a place that checks big boxes but needs some updating. Good luck to you!!

[hamster]

Two years ago we wanted to, in order,

1) buy bare land and build
2) move
3) add on

We primarily wanted more land, another bathroom, and another bedroom or bonus room. Bare land was too expensive or just bad land, and moving was a no go. Our price point was much higher than we bought for, but we were finding basically equivalent houses for twice the price. They all needed just as much cosmetic updates so financially it was a bad choice. Plus the houses all were no gos - their own bad additions, poor locations, etc. We ultimately added on. It was the right choice and I dont regret it. There's still some fundamental flaws with the house, but we've made it work. I do still want to relocate the kitchen to make it bigger and more functional. I definitely still want more land, but oh well. Maybe our neighbors will let us lease some or eventually sell to us.

[thewop]

We were in the exact situation 3 years ago. We remodeled our old house exactly how we wanted it, but when #2 was 2 our house felt super small and we only had 1 bathroom. We had been saving a ton of money to finish the basement to add an office, basement and family room but our neighbor situation was not great. We toured a dozen houses for fun, but nothing ever came of it- nothing felt right, either too much $$ or did not check off enough boxes. Our neighbor situation got worse. I stumbled upon a lot and we talked to the builder. We could have almost everything we wanted. I was torn. Our old house we had gutted. It was “us”. It was super cheap to live in too. I was worried about regretting leaving. Well, we found out our neighbor was into meth, so TIME TO GO! It was our sign. I called the builder the next day and we began the process. I cried when we sold our old house. I will always feel emotional about that house but...It’s been 3+ Years in our current house and I don’t regret it for a second. Much more family friendly neighborhood, better schools, and close to everything. It was totally worth it. It’s just a house, you can make anything a home. It’s ok to grow and move on. I honestly could not imagine living in our old small house (to the tune of 950 sq ft) during a pandemic. Our current house isn’t that much bigger (1450 sq ft, with 1200 finishable daylight basement) but the extra space and 2 more bathrooms is amazing.

TL/ DR, been there, done that, go for it.

[audry80]

I didn’t want to sell, I loved our old house. LOVED. It was 100 years old and the charm/detail was amazing. We just spent $ on an interior designer and an earthquake retrofit. We thought we would live there another five years.

A house down the street went up for sale, it was completely remodeled and the charm was lost but my husband LOVED it. It was on a quiet street and had a better layout and a bigger lot so we could add a bathroom.

I wanted to hate it. It did take awhile to feel like home band I miss the charm but I now love it! Like the above poster, you can make any house feel like home.

[numbers]

Given what you described above- for $380k total investment in your current house that would update but not check all your wish list items, vs. $410k for the type of house that would actually check all your wish list items- I would move.