It sounds like a lot of us have hit a wall. What can we do to help each other out?
If you have something you’ve been doing that helps, please share.
If there’s something you’d like a suggestion for (or an accountability person for), share that, too. (Do you want help on a new hobby? An exercise accountability partner?)
It’s been a terrible day for me, and I hope we can work together to make this seem a little better.
Things that have been helping me: 1. I have 2 friends I've been doing virtual workouts with several times a week. It works both as accountability to make sure I'm working out whenever I can, and we always have some built in chat time at the end. It helps to not feel so isolated.
2. I have been doing long walks with friends on the weekend when the weather cooperates. We bring kids and dogs so everyone gets all of their energy out plus socialization. This is safe if you distance and/or mask. The weather kind of sucks but we're still doing it when it's over freezing. Going tomorrow morning and it'll be a brisk 37* haha
I drag my kids out every weekend after lunch for about 3 hours which is the limit before DD needs to pee. I try to drive somewhere about 30 - 45 minutes away so we see something different and the car ride eats up at least an hour round trip. Sometimes we mask up and go grocery shopping or go to one of the bigger malls where there's space to stay away from people. Today we bundled up and went for a walk along the beach. They were super excited to see the ocean and sand even if they couldn't go play. I'm going to put together a list of places to take them so I'm not trying to wing it every weekend. There's a lot to explore outdoors so close to home and I guess now is the time to make the effort and do it when we're super bored on the weekend and the toddler needs some containment.
It did help that I cleaned out the trunk of my car around Thanksgiving so I could load the stroller in it again after a year of having a disaster trunk space. As much as I don't want to leave the house, it's not so bad to get a change of scenery and take them out.
pandorica, what platform do you use for virtual exercise?
I know exercise would help, but I can’t seem to get myself motivated or stick with it. The warmest high is 30 for the next 14 days (and no sun is in the forecast) and we’re currently getting ice, so that makes things outdoors a little more difficult. It was 34 the other day so I went on a walk with y friend (who has now left for several weeks for warmer weather), but it irritated my plantar fasciitis. Ugh! It felt good to be out, though!
I feel like things would be much different if we lived somewhere warmer...or more scenic...or had more stuff to do. Tonight, we masked up and took the kids to Walmart for a few minutes (for the first time since March) just to do something. Wild and crazy Saturday night here!
Post by luv2rn4fun on Jan 16, 2021 22:35:33 GMT -5
Exercise and getting us out of the house. I walk the boys to DS1’s school (drop off and pickup). We also started opening our gate so the boys could ride bikes or scooters and create a little track. It helps to get their energy out more.
For extended learning, I have DS1 do an assignment and then he gets a 3-5 minute break. Rinse repeat until it’s done. He also gets a 10 minute break once we get home and then we start.
I set a goal to walk/run 500 miles this year. I have a coloring sheet and I fill in a spot for each mile. It has been super motivating and fun to color it in. I’ve thought about paying myself $1 for each mile too - $500 would be a nice amount to do something fun with in a year.
My kids play outside with neighbors a few times a week. I don’t let them go inside, and they wear masks (the other kids don’t always but being outside I feel ok with it). They mostly ride bikes or play tag or invent some other game and stay pretty distanced. It makes a world of difference.
I also try to focus on things we can do instead of things we can’t.
dcn, my kids usually spend almost every after-school minute until dark outside playing with friends and that was perfect...but now they’re gone. It’s harder to keep them motivated to stay outside alone when it’s so cold out. And with he loss of that comeskids bouncing off of the walls and a loss of one quiet time for me.
I started habit tracker this year and it has helped some! One of my goals is to read a chapter a day, and that has been good for me. My yoga line has 4 boxes checked and then I quit.
Thanks for the reminder to focus on what we CAN do. I did that in the beginning and it makes a huge difference. I lost steam.
dcn, my kids usually spend almost every after-school minute until dark outside playing with friends and that was perfect...but now they’re gone. It’s harder to keep them motivated to stay outside alone when it’s so cold out. And with he loss of that comeskids bouncing off of the walls and a loss of one quiet time for me.
I started habit tracker this year and it has helped some! One of my goals is to read a chapter a day, and that has been good for me. My yoga line has 4 boxes checked and then I quit.
Thanks for the reminder to focus on what we CAN do. I did that in the beginning and it makes a huge difference. I lost steam.
We live in Georgia so are lucky that it isn’t really cold most days. Another thing I did over the summer when it was too hot to be outside much was cleared out half the garage and the kids played out there. We bought an a/c unit so it wasn’t sweltering out there. Maybe a heater in the garage if you have one?
Drives are keeping me going. Tomorrow I think we are going to drive to Wrigley Field, the Bean and the Home Alone 3 house (we saw Home Alone 1 house in May). Monday we might drive to a fancy neighborhood where my 3-year-old thinks the houses are castles and then go for a walk by the beach. It will be 32 degrees, so that might last 5 minutes, but it will be pretty, and driving will take up 90 minutes of the day.
Oh, and I recommend a salon appt, if you are at all comfortable with that. Today, I was one of two customers in the entire salon for my appointment. I have fresh highlights and a blowout (to go nowhere, sob), and I feel so much better.
Also, I think we are going to rent out a play place for one hour ($60) with a kid from daycare who the kids are with for eight hours a day anyway. There is only one employee far away and they sanitize between private sessions, so it seems pretty safe. I have been so sad at missing out on all the play places with kid 2 that I took kid 1 to, so I’m hoping that will help me feel better and give them something to do.
I’m sorry you had a rough day today. I don’t like January, either. Although I have it pretty good, I have woken up many days of the pandemic with my very first thought being “ugh, this again.”
I’m taking it one day at a time, and recognizing that some days are just shit. Usually I don’t have those back to back. Exercise is key for me, too. Usually I run or do Yoga with Adriene. She has multiple 30 day challenges; the current one is called Breath. I did a few reading challenges last year, and my next one starts in February, so that’s a little something to “look forward” to. I’m still volunteering for/running multiple things, in a Zoom-modified way, and that helps give me a sense of purpose.
I don’t have any long range plans right now, but I’m focusing on the day to day. So, I’m going to make my kids pick up trash on Monday as “service” for MLK, Jr. Day. I scheduled a blood donation. I have a weekly family Zoom call, which is a nice check-in. I will probably start indoor seedlings soon, and I just got added to a Winter Sowing group (I didn’t even know that was a thing) so maybe I’ll try that, too. Just thinking about plants in January is kind of uplifting. And I just bought a couple of bird feeders. It took a couple of days for the birds to find them, but it’s been about two weeks now, and it was very busy this afternoon. I downloaded the Merlin Bird ID app, and we’ve had at least seven or eight different species visit already. The kids are getting into it a bit, and my little one is now working on a report about cardinals for school. It’s not the most thrilling existence right now (I would not have pegged myself as a birdwatcher even a month ago) but it’s what I’ve got to work with, and that’s okay.
Post by scribellesam on Jan 16, 2021 23:37:29 GMT -5
Another vote for exercise, as a start. I use the Peloton app - I don’t have access to a bike or treadmill but I love the outdoor runs and equipment-free strength and yoga workouts. They have seriously saved my sanity since joining in August last year.
I try to focus less on the big picture and more on small victories and joys. My autistic third grader is having his best academic year ever without the stress and sensory overload of a full day at school. The sun on my face when I walk our pandemic puppy (now dog) around the neighborhood. The first best sips of coffee in the morning. Choosing what local takeout to get on Saturdays. Texting with friends and family. Life as a whole is a shitshow but there are always moments of happiness and if I can experience those and try less to obsess over my government’s failures and lack of big events to look forward to, I can make it through a day at a time.
I have started to make a point to check out the sunrise. They have been so beautiful lately. The girls like to see the pink clouds.
I am loving my treadmill desk, but I know that isn’t an option for everyone. Moving during the day more is helping.
Cutting out sugar for the most part has helped a lot.
I am also cooking more.
I have been enjoying the Bible recap podcast. I’m Jewish but want to learn more about the Bible (obviously a good refresh on the Old Testament). I listen to it when I walk the dogs.
krystee - I didn’t know indoor play place rental was a thing. I love this idea, which one(s) do you know of that are doing this? Feel free to PM if you don’t feel comfortable posting locations publicly
pandorica, what platform do you use for virtual exercise?
I know exercise would help, but I can’t seem to get myself motivated or stick with it. The warmest high is 30 for the next 14 days (and no sun is in the forecast) and we’re currently getting ice, so that makes things outdoors a little more difficult. It was 34 the other day so I went on a walk with y friend (who has now left for several weeks for warmer weather), but it irritated my plantar fasciitis. Ugh! It felt good to be out, though!
I feel like things would be much different if we lived somewhere warmer...or more scenic...or had more stuff to do. Tonight, we masked up and took the kids to Walmart for a few minutes (for the first time since March) just to do something. Wild and crazy Saturday night here!
My friend has a Grokker account and then we use Zoom and she shares her screen. We've done random YouTube videos too, so it could all be done for $0!
I definitely feel you on the weather. A month or 2 ago we got 2+ feet of snow and that made it so we couldn't even easily do a neighborhood walk because it took a couple of days to get everything cleared up. It's just generally not very pleasant to be outside these days here, but I still feel better when we manage to get out for a little bit.
The one luxury I have right now is going for a walk in my neighborhood by myself, with my podcast choice cranked up in my headphones. I go when it's freezing as long as it's sunny. I take my kids for a walk often, but it's not a break.
MH and I have been planning a family beach vacation with H's siblings and their kids for the end of the summer. Several family members have already been vaccinated, and by August the rest of us should be. It's nice to have something to look forward too.
January is always a terribly long month even under the best of circumstances.
Be kind to yourself and let yourself feel what you are feeling.
Yesterday I set my phone down, grabbed my kindle, and spent like 5 hours reading. I am pretty sure my family thought I was crazy and I don't know how much DH appreciated the fact that I just checked out but I don't care (he is struggling, too). It was lovely and helped me kind of forget how crappy things are right now. I'm going to really work on making weekends phone free in general I think.
On a day to basis having a good solid exercise routine helps tremendously. I am so glad I splurged on my bike back in May. I also have one friend I see several times a week for a walk. We have also decided that we are going to let DD go back to playing tennis. She is so much happier when she has that structure which in turns makes US happier.
I don't know. It's tough. I can't think much further than a few days ahead to stay sane.
Post by minniemouse on Jan 17, 2021 9:09:32 GMT -5
The thing that helps me the most is putting away my phone. Over the summer I deleted a ton of apps and hid a bunch of others in folders. Ideally I want to start only using for calls, texts and emails with a very short - like 15 minutes block on the day for news and social media. That’s my goal for this year. I am so much happier and productive when I use it less. The days I don’t bring it into my home office are my best work days. The problem is I need an app on my phone to log into our work network-and I’m usually too lazy to then move it out of the office after I log in.
The thing that helps me the most is putting away my phone. Over the summer I deleted a ton of apps and hid a bunch of others in folders. Ideally I want to start only using for calls, texts and emails with a very short - like 15 minutes block on the day for news and social media. That’s my goal for this year. I am so much happier and productive when I use it less. The days I don’t bring it into my home office are my best work days. The problem is I need an app on my phone to log into our work network-and I’m usually too lazy to then move it out of the office after I log in.
Yes! I’m pretty good about not being on my phone when I’m focused and on a schedule but I HATE that so many things require a phone to log in by texting or calling you with a code. I get it’s for security but the few times I’ve told myself I’m not going to look at my phone all day I eventually had to get it because something I was trying to log in to I needed my phone.
But overall yep that’s how I get through the days, trying to keep busy with hobbies and work. Day by day. Since I don’t have kids every few weeks I’ll give myself permission to be super lazy and lay in bed till 12 and watch a movie or show for most the afternoon. That really recharges me.
We’re setting up some post bedtime zoom calls with old friends. I set a zoom lunch with an old friend too. I think the friends appreciate the reaching out and we need it too.
I like gardening, I bought a used gardening book and I’m planning for the spring, making lists.
I’ve felt the urge to organize and purge. I’m running with it! That post holiday cleaning vibe has stuck with me. I’ve put things on CL for free and given away other things. Seeing how happy it makes people makes me happy, as does giving things a second life.
We’re in debt pay down mode, so the above are low cost.
Post by pinkpeony08 on Jan 17, 2021 9:57:18 GMT -5
I’ve found exercising helps a lot, but it’s been harder now that it’s cold and winter here in the Midwest. I’ve been reading a little bit more and trying accomplish something every day, even if it’s just folding a load of laundry.
I set a goal to walk/run 500 miles this year. I have a coloring sheet and I fill in a spot for each mile. It has been super motivating and fun to color it in. I’ve thought about paying myself $1 for each mile too - $500 would be a nice amount to do something fun with in a year.
I also signed up for a 500 mile challenge through an online club. I've done like 6 miles tops. I signed DD up for a 100 mile challenge to do with me. We both need to lose weight (I checked with the pediatrician for her). She's walked more than me, but I haven't found a good way for us to keep track yet. Every time we hit certain milestones, we notify them and get a silly prize. I need to dig up my pedometers and get us more into it.
Exercise and pot gummies are really my saving grace right now. I am also obsessively working in decorating our new house and its a nice distraction though its getting expensive.
Putting my phone down and getting out of the house for outdoor / distanced activities
forward focus and setting really small goals
Listening to hypnobirthing guided meditation before bed helps my anxiety in general
Having a purpose outside of my home, since we are all here all the time. Going to work recently has been helpful, even when it’s draining. I’ve also applied to volunteer for our vaccination drives.
Post by sandandsea on Jan 17, 2021 11:43:04 GMT -5
I started some meditation practices last year at the recommendation of a professional coach. It helps me refocus and let things go. This year I started running 2 miles a day. Also lowering expectations and finding what works now helps as with us both working from home and supporting a disinterested 9 yo with distance learning all day while sending a preschooler to daycare things can get crazy. We’ve decided ds’s education will be mediocre this year at best through his public school so we’ve tried to outsource additional tutoring. We’ve also recognized that we will have a lot of interruptions during the day so have tried to accept that’s part of life now. I try to focus on the positives of WFH vs the stressors. We started doing Every Plate for dinner 3 nights a week to make meal planning easier. So we’ve had quite a few changes that seem to help. I think we can limp along until summer at the status quo. But I can’t wait for summer camp so I can have more deep work time during the day and get more done more efficiently so I’m not spending as much time in the evenings and nights catching up.
Post by notsopicky on Jan 17, 2021 14:03:39 GMT -5
pandorica, thank you for your suggestion of going for a walk w/ kids, dogs, whatevs, even when it's cold. You motivated to text my friend to invite her to a socially-distanced walk with our dogs on Wednesday!
pandorica, thank you for your suggestion of going for a walk w/ kids, dogs, whatevs, even when it's cold. You motivated to text my friend to invite her to a socially-distanced walk with our dogs on Wednesday!
It makes such a big difference! Just got back from a walk with friends and it was unexpectedly super cold and snowy but still worth it
At the beginning we did zoom calls with friends on the opposite coast, and it felt like I talked to them more than I had in years. We played a few games that way too, but set up was elaborate, and we kind of fell off the wagon.
Spring and summer, and even into fall I was gardening. It gave me a sense of control, of ability to guide how things were turning out, at least in a small arena. And it was outdoors, and allowed me to create beauty. But now it's winter, and we're house shopping so I'm iffy on putting effort in again once it warms up.
I worked really hard on a workout room, and used it regularly for about a month, but a basement flood messed it up.
I need to get back on the exercise bandwagon. I know it will help. I'm just struggling to GET OUT OF BED in the AM to do it. I'm tired, I'm cold. I don't wanna. And I'm depressed about the workout room situation.
Right now I'm on a purging and organizing streak. I figure it will help me with our current square footage while nothing good is on the market, and will also be useful if we end up moving. I've made $65 in a week, all contact-free porch pickup, selling things I have no use for: - a queen duvet & shams from Pottery Barn that have sat in a closet since we upgraded to a king two years ago. - two pairs of maternity jeans - a Boon lawn with stems and a dishwasher basket for bottle parts
That cash is going directly to little splurges for me (mostly from Athleta). It's not a ton of money for the time it takes, but it's very satisfying. I get space in my house, the items to go people who will use them, and I like the treats I buy myself with money specifically "from" purging things.
I am running into a roadblock with what to do with the stuff that doesn't sell well, since donating is much harder than usual. I've even listed some toys for free and they are not moving. I guess after Christmas is probably a bad time for that. I also haven't been able to sell any of the other maternity clothes (mostly Gap/ON and Loft, but too much of it is work clothes and I don't think many pregnant women need that right now).
I'm also doing some deep cleaning now that we've undecorated from Christmas. We haven't had a cleaning lady since October and it shows. The cleaning is both gross and good feeling to do.
Basically I think the theme is that I am enjoying things where I can exert a little control and change my small corner of the world for the better, prettier, less cluttered, better organized.
I zoom with my friends every Wednesday night from 8pm-9:30pm. It's so good to 'see' them. Our group is 7 women including myself. We started doing this way back in April btw.