DS1 is turning 6 in March and I plan on asking at his well-check, but I'm kind of wondering about ADHD with him and I'm curious what a path to diagnosis (or not) looked like for others
We've received feedback from his Pre-K teacher last year and his K teacher this year that he has impulse control issues that distract during class. This year has been such a cluster at school generally that it honestly hasn't been at the top of my priority list, but when he does have a week in in-person class we do get feedback from the teacher that he's had a challenging week listening, following instructions, talking out of turn... that sort of thing. I feel like it's all been made worse by the ups and downs of the COVID schoolyear. I think his longest stretch of in-person school this fall was 3 weeks... it's been interrupted by class quarantine, holidays, county-wide digital learning week/days/etc. That third week of the stretch was his best report home about behavior, so I think he benefits from consistency and it takes him a bit to get back into the groove of something.
That said, school reports are one input into my wondering about ADHD--we definitely have issues at home too. He interrupts a lot, it's hard to get his attention to stop him from whatever he's doing (like running through the kitchen, or asking him to put his shoes on), he fidgets in his seat ENDLESSLY (to the point he falls off his chair or gets up and down so much at a meal that we're just like, okay go... you're done at the dinner table), he makes sort of near-constant sounds of some sort... like he'll randomly start singing a song, making this weird tongue-click sound, or just shouting something or whooping. We used to have him in extra curriculars like gymnastics, t-ball, etc. and noticed some issues there too when we watched and compared to other kids' behavior.
Honestly, we've been so focused on some ST/OT needs and mega-tantrums that our 2.5yo has, I feel like we've been neglecting a potential issue brewing with DS1 because he generally is a really good and kind kid. I think the feedback about his bad behavior is kind of wearing on him and adding to lots of big emotions lately and being down on himself.
I just don't know when something stops being 'he's a high energy kid' or 'he's a physical kid and needs to move a lot' becomes something that's more than that. I feel like my general rule has always been like 'when the issue gets in the way of education' and so maybe we are there... or maybe it's just a shitshow of a year? Blaaaaah.
Open to any input y'all have. Those who have kids with a diagnosis or maybe those who were borderline and didn't go that route?
The easiest and cheapest thing to do would be to have him be evaluated through the school. The end result of that might be something like a 504 with extra supports at school. If that doesn't get you where you want to go, then you might need to seek out a child psychologist.
Our school was great about speech and hearing, but fought us to the bitter end on helping DS with OT. So you might want to see your current OT provider for that. They maybe able to help with some things like the fidgeting or awareness.
My DS probably doesn't have ADHD (borderline), but he does have sensory issues and has seen OT for that and other things.
Post by expectantsteelerfan on Jan 19, 2021 13:47:23 GMT -5
He sounds very similar to my ds, who does have ADHD, especially with the fidgeting, running around the house, and making noises constantly (and being hard to get his attention while doing this stuff). My ds didn't have trouble with interrupting in school or waiting his turn, but he has other impulsive behaviors (like taking other kid's materials) and a quick temper that fell under impulsivity as well.
We didn't start seeking a diagnosis until the end of 2nd grade, and once we did get the diagnosis (he was seeing a therapist at this point, but his pedi. officially diagnosed him with input from the therapist, school, and me) we did decide to try medication, and it made a world of difference. Just adding the medication was enough to get through 2nd and 3rd grade, but by the end of 3rd he was still having some behavior issues in school, so at that point we requested a 504 plan for him through the school.
It's still a struggle, especially when school is virtual (he's in 6th now, and just today, he had math class and then was working on a math assignment. I heard him exclaim that geez, this assignment is 25 pages long! and I asked him if he was sure he had to do all of it today. He wasn't sure, so he emailed his math teacher, who wrote back 'we just went over this EXTENSIVELY during class, weren't you following along?' but the assignment wasn't written down anywhere on their math page, so yeah, even if he had been paying attention, that's the kind of thing he struggles with.
I was just talking to my friend about how if school is at all virtual still next year, we're going to have to add specific items to his 504 for that (he's only virtual 1 day a week usually now so I'm just pushing through).
We just had DS1 (just turned 9) evaluated through his pedi a couple months ago. Similar behavior and background. The dr essentially put it on us if we wanted him to have a formal diagnosis or not since he was borderline. We opted not at this time primarily because we're not ready to medicate and feel he has individual support at school without needing a 504 plan at this time. We have a referral for OT but have not yet reached out. He also just switched from all virtual to hybrid school which has helped a lot.
I think going into an evaluation knowing what you want for him is helpful. Do you think he needs medication? Does he need more support at school where a 504 would help facilitate extra services? (You don't have to answer me, just things to think about!) I went in not really knowing how I wanted to proceed. I wish it had been a more clear cut diagnosis (or not) vs borderline.
Post by browneyedgirl9 on Jan 19, 2021 15:45:46 GMT -5
My DS1 7yo is diagnosed ADHD and sounds very similar to your son.
First we discussed with pediatrician at 6yo, who requested that the school teachers as well as us as parents complete a Vanderbilt Assessment. The pedi used these assessments in making a diagnosis. We also started therapy at the same time to help.
We started medication in October 2020 and it has made a world of difference at school. We were always getting negative feedback and reports from school. He still is running around our house and kitchen at night once the meds wear off. Lol. And is always talking or making nosies.
We also have a 504 in school to have built in supports.
Post by redheadbaker on Jan 19, 2021 16:16:14 GMT -5
Sounds like my DS. He was diagnosed (outside of his former school, b/c they didn't tell me that having him evaluated through the school was an option) toward the end of 2nd grade. It didn't make sense to implement a 504 with only 3 weeks to go in the school year.
About two months into 3rd grade (at a new school), we were getting reports of him interrupting the teacher, having impulse control issues while walking in the hallway and during rug time in the classroom. We decided to go try medication, and it made a world of difference. It's quick-acting (takes in the a.m., and it wears off by the time school is over), and he doesn't need to take it every day (so if he skipped on the weekends or over summer break, no impact on its effectiveness).
Post by thebreakfastclub on Jan 19, 2021 17:38:01 GMT -5
My 2nd grade son has a mild case of ADHD. I would Google Vanderbilt exam and see how you would score him. Based on the teacher and parent evaluation, the pediatrician diagnosed and we started a medicine trial. It was pretty straightforward and my son realizes he can focus better at school.
We had DS1 evaluated in 1st grade maybe. He was diagnosed with anxiety. We started see a therapist in Kinder for the same things you mentioned + anger outbursts. I wasn’t sure what was “normal” boy behavior vs something more serious as he’s my first kid.
After a few years of nothing working, we started him on anxiety meds. It helped a bit but still getting calls from school. This year, (3rd grade) we ended up just adding in adderall which has made a big difference. When we were doing school work, I couldn’t get him to focus. He would fly through work just to get done. His teacher this year was great and helped guide me to say he needs more help. Not pushy but just like, he’s got all the classic signs and what you’ve been doing isn’t helping. So now he’s medicated and still having a bit of impulse issues but much better than before.
We didn’t do an official diagnosis this year but did go through the process a few years ago. I feel horrible that I didn’t push earlier but I just didn’t know and trusted the therapists to help. We did a 504 to implement some helpful things in 2nd grade but honestly his big issues were during unstructured time (hallway, lunch, recess...)
Post by wesleycrusher on Jan 19, 2021 20:22:19 GMT -5
My DS 8 has ADHD and a lot of the issues he had at school were different then we saw at home. In school we would get the reports like you said- easily distracted, talking out of turn, some stupid kid behavior issues that were definitely due to poor impulse control. At home we could easily manage those behaviors since he doesn't have to sit still, but we saw a lot of tantrums, physical and verbal aggression towards us and his sister, negative self-talk, omg the ATTITUDE and the school did not see these behaviors AT ALL.
Honestly I didn't really think his behaviors at home were related to ADHD because he was adopted, so we were looking at conduct/attachment issues since he only showed this really negative behaviors to us which is common in adoption. We began therapy for that and after a few months in therapy were referred to the psychiatrist for the official ADHD diagnosis (disclaimer: I work in psychiatry so it was easy for me to get in otherwise I would have started with the PCP). We went through a few med trials until we settled on the meds he's on now and he's doing amazing. All the behaviors at home have 99% stopped and he's getting the best grades he's ever gotten (but also he's doing all virtual school, so hasn't been in a classroom since we got the meds right).
So our path to diagnosis was a bit different but I typed out this long story just to say that while you may not see or be able to manage the behaviors that he displays in school, there could be different behaviors that he shows at home that may be related to ADHD.
DS2 has ADHD inattentive type. He was diagnosed at age 7 by a pediatric psychologist. We went that route vs the school route because it was covered by insurance. He’s 10 now. We recently started the process of getting a 504 for him at school. Up to this point, he struggled with focus at school, but nothing that would be considered so out of the ordinary for his age range at the time. This was the first year that the teacher told us he was struggling with focus as well as starting to distract others. He definitely uses up all of his “attention energy” at school, and then comes home and melts down. He is much quicker to argue, interrupt, fight with his brothers, make out of turn sounds, etc after he gets home from school. I wouldn’t count on the pediatrician being able to accurately diagnose. Our pedi sort of assumed he didn’t have ADHD because he’s not hyperactive. But his quirks and inattention were definitely pulled out by the psychologist, and I’m glad we went to someone trained to look for it.
Thank you all for sharing your stories. Some of the things said her are ringing true for DS too: anxiety, negative self-talk. He also has sleep issues. Really, he's never been a great sleeper, but we've gone through periods where it sucks less... lately it's bad. He falls asleep fast--like, passes out from exhaustion mid-book or song. He's up a few times a night. Sometimes between 4-5 he'll come in to bed with us, but he can't settle and just fidgets until H or I give up and get up with him.
I think I might do a scattershot approach and reach out through school, pedi, and OT at the same time and see what path gets us to some support for him fastest.