Work Help - Employees not getting along

[ssmjlm]

Deleted, thanks for all the insight!

[TR]

What do you mean by "butt heads"?

[ssmjlm]

Jan 25, 2021 13:14:38 GMT -5 TR said:

What do you mean by "butt heads"?

They just seem to try and "talk" over each other via email.  I know you can't read tone, but the way they approach communicating with other doesn't give that open feeling.

So the one who is newer will ask a question and the other one will come back with a question to the question.

We have MS Teams, so they can IM direct or use our groups channel if they don't want to call.

[TR]

So it sounds like the issue is that the more tenured one is trying to assert their dominance and shouldn't be. And now maybe the newer employee is developing an attitude in response to that (understandable)? If that assumption is correct, I'd work more on correcting the behavior of the tenured employee. Point out when they are overstepping, remind them it's your job to manage, not theirs, eyes on their own paper, that kind of thing. I wouldn't force them to chat every week, I would haaaaaate that.

[circa1978]

I agree this sounds like an issue with the tenured employee and would start there.

[ssmjlm]

TR, circa1978, I just had a conversation with her last week during her mid review. I guess I need to follow-up again and reiterate these points.

[TR]

Jan 25, 2021 13:38:19 GMT -5 ssmjlm said:

TR , circa1978 , I just had a conversation with her last week during her mid review. I guess I need to follow-up again and reiterate these points.

Yeah, like another poster's previous employee problem, I don't think this will be solved with one conversation. This type of thing (in my opinion) tends to be kind of a personality thing and they never really see what you're talking about (because they don't think they're doing anything wrong) even though they'll go "Yeah, yeah, ok I'll work on that" unless you can point it out in the moment. And even then they might push back.

[circa1978]

I feel for you because I have two employees with the same exact position who aren't BFF. They started out rough and I know my more tenured employee feels like she's carrying the "new" one (it's been two years.) And it sucks because the person I had in the position before the new team member was so in synch with the other. Mine found a rhythm but I still do run more interference there than I'd like.

[ssmjlm]

TR, circa1978, thank you. The previous team worked so well together, so this is a new dynamic for me as a manager.

[cayl]

I also would not have them set up time to "chat". You said you don't care if they talk about work, you just want them to talk. I actually think it should be the other way around. We won't always like our coworkers and may not have friendly relationships with them, but the expectation should be that they work together when needed in a professional manner. If I didn't like a coworker (and especially if I was the not-tenured one and wasn't being treated professionally) and my boss tasked me with having 1-1s with my coworker to get to know each other I would be extremely uncomfortable and unhappy.

[momof2]

Well first, I would stop trying to make them be friends. The odd of that seem pretty low.

Second, what is actually the problem? Is work not getting done? Is the newer person upset? I think if you can really pin point the issue, you can give much more specific feedback. Depending on the situation, it might be:

“Person who has been here a while, your tone in emails is condescending and you are not the manager of this newer person. You need to find a way to work with this person to get the work done without creating interpersonal issues.”

Or

“Newer person, it seems like a lot of your questions require follow up questions. You might be better off grabbing person who has been here a while on the phone rather than asking this stuff through email.”

[bee20]

When I've had this situation it is valuable to sit them both down and make it clear what your expectations are for both of them together. If that fails the first time, the next meeting we put together guidelines/rules together on what our shared expectations are.

If those aren't being met, then you have a conversation with the individual who isn't meeting the agreed upon expectations. In this case that would probably be the person who considers themselves senior. But it allows them to frame disagreements in the way that they know what is and isn't acceptable. Just having them talk it out the "Senior" person is going to continue to think they are senior. If the "Junior" person complains they don't like what "Senior" is doing but it's not violating the guidelines, then suggest they work it out together or put together a new guideline proposal.

[ssmjlm]

Just to give a bit more background, they need to communicate regularly based on their workload and type of work. And that doesn't seem to be happening. Which is why I recommended setting up a check-in. They have the same job exactly and are only divided up by the teams they support within the office.

They're also each other's back-up.

I don't expect them to be friends, I just need them to communicate and get their job done.

[bee20]

So I would sit them down and go through expectations and get agreements for:

1) What processes need to be standard across teams (certain status spreadsheets maybe)
2) Vacation coverage and notifications
3) Are they passing work back and forth? If so that can create tension so perhaps a standard way of showing and prioritizing work across the two teams.

As a manager, your role is to point out what needs to happen, and support them in coming up with the how, but they need to participate on their end and not just cross their arms. So instead of saying "I need you to communicate" perhaps "I need you to give me a report of work completed on both your teams each Friday that describes what projects closed and how many hours were spent on training" or whatever makes sense in your field.

Get them to agree on how that is going to happen "How will the two of you share getting this done?"
Then let them talk. If one is trying to dominate correct it together "You are both team leads so I need you to work cooperatively on this to communicate the shared work".

And then finally summarize. "Ok, so what we decided is that Stacey will collect the project closure metrics for both teams and Suzy will collect the training info" or "Suzy will create a template and both of you will fill out your sections by Thursday at noon." or whatever. Send this out via email, if it doesn't happen get them both together and ask why it didn't.

[cayl]

Jan 25, 2021 14:10:04 GMT -5 bee20 said:

So I would sit them down and go through expectations and get agreements for:

1) What processes need to be standard across teams (certain status spreadsheets maybe)
2) Vacation coverage and notifications
3) Are they passing work back and forth? If so that can create tension so perhaps a standard way of showing and prioritizing work across the two teams.

As a manager, your role is to point out what needs to happen, and support them in coming up with the how, but they need to participate on their end and not just cross their arms. So instead of saying "I need you to communicate" perhaps "I need you to give me a report of work completed on both your teams each Friday that describes what projects closed and how many hours were spent on training" or whatever makes sense in your field.

Get them to agree on how that is going to happen "How will the two of you share getting this done?"
Then let them talk. If one is trying to dominate correct it together "You are both team leads so I need you to work cooperatively on this to communicate the shared work".

And then finally summarize. "Ok, so what we decided is that Stacey will collect the project closure metrics for both teams and Suzy will collect the training info" or "Suzy will create a template and both of you will fill out your sections by Thursday at noon." or whatever. Send this out via email, if it doesn't happen get them both together and ask why it didn't.

To build off of this - you said that you guys have Teams.  Teams is a great way to share files, chat, and work collaboratively when necessary.  I have files with metrics in teams that my team uses each week to build their funnel reports.  We share documents that are useful or are commonly requested by customers.  It's a great tool, especially for remote teams.

I agree with the above that you should outline what the deliverables are and allow them to figure out how it gets done.  And make sure that everyone is on the same page about them being at the same level.

[ssmjlm]

EllieArroway - can you please delete the thread? Thank you!