My work seems to be picking up, and I'm... not really happy about it. One client that I thought was dead has been resurrected, and I really enjoy working with them. So I'm hoping that it works out, but it's coming at a time when my kids have a TON of time off from school. So I'm a little worried about managing that. I had an old client reach out after he kind of ghosted me, and I just REALLY don't want to work with him again. He's very nice, but he's very chaotic and he takes up a TON of my time with absolute nonsense - like nonsensical requests. I just... I have enough chaos in my life. I don't need him too, even if he's willing to pay me.
Which leads me to this... I feel like I need to get a job. But I don't know what to do or where to start. And I don't know how I would do it. The kids are in school for now, but there is no before or after care. I can't rely on DH. I don't know what his "new normal" will be - if his travel goes back to the way it was, I don't know how I would manage everything without outside help. And my family have been very vocal about the fact that they don't want me to go back. My kids equate me working with my old job - which was horrible and not sustainable and not anything I would want to do again. We don't need the money.
I think I'm having a little bit of a mid-life crisis. DH is too... and he bought a Tesla. I thought I'd feel better if I lost weight... and I did - I'm 2lbs from my goal... and I'm left with saggy gross skin. I'd like to go away, but DH complained, so we won't. I'm not super comfortable going to a spa yet.
I just... feel stuck I guess. Anyone else go through this?
This is kind of a silly one, but I’m feeling really proud and can’t really share this with anyone. I got DH a vaccine appointment at a very small pharmacy in the hospital district of the big city we are closest to. Told my BFF, who is high risk (very over weight and high blood pressure) and whose husband is extremely high risk (diabetes that can’t be well controlled, injuries from time in the military,and high blood pressure). She also has terrible anxiety/panic disorder and large crowds set her off. She left our county vaccine clinic because she said they told her it would be a 4 hour wait, no one was distancing, and it looked like a super spreader event. She got her vaccine yesterday and said it was so easy. 3 people in the building, they gave her the shot as soon as she walked in the door, she waited her 10 minutes, and went home. I also told my old boss about it, so I’m hoping he signed up.
mommyatty, that's great!! She must have felt so much better...
So that's another thing... I'm volunteering with an elder services organization, but I haven't been able to start due to COVID. I just got a notification that a local site is setting aside vaccines for volunteers from this organization, and that I can register for an appointment. I just don't feel right about it. They're not available to the general public here yet - not for another month. I have zero underlying conditions. I'm totally healthy. A lot of the volunteers are older.
I just don't feel good about it. I can wait another month or 2.
Today is DS2's 4th birthday. He is so excited to go to preschool and celebrate with his friends. We'll meet my parents and FIL for dinner tonight.
My health issues seem to have abated. My dr told me to try melatonin for a month to see if I can improve my sleep, which will improve my daytime fatigue. I am sold on the melatonin. Best decision ever.
I'm a little grouchy that my state is still stuck in phase 1A (health care workers and those over 65) while surrounding states are opening up to general population starting next week. I'm trying to be patient. My county thinks they might be able to move to phase 1B (educators and essential workers) in early April. I qualify for that group since I teach at a local college. But then I don't know when DH will get his vaccine.
The restaurant opening went really well last night! Steady business all night long. Beau said he couldn't close the kitchen because people kept ordering more snacks, which is awesome. Plus, restaurant workers are now in the next phase for the vaccine, so I signed him up for the alerts for appointments. The weather this weekend looks sunny and perfect, so they should get good business and outdoor seating.
DDOT: My yard is finally going to look clean and not trashy anymore! We loaded up two bagster bags in the driveway after cleaning out the basement from the pipe burst. Then we got huge snow storms and the bags were buried. They're finally clear again and getting taken away today. I can't wait to get this eyesore of junk out of my yard.
Post by sandandsea on Mar 18, 2021 10:33:34 GMT -5
Update. After last weeks post I was al set to take ds to the dr for his hand. He hasn’t said a peep about it hurting since so I’m back to not taking him. I also need to schedule dentist appt for myself and my annual exam to get a new IUD and a mammogram and don’t want to do any of it. Ugh.
mae0111- my cousin (who my parents partially raised so she’s more like my sister) went through this. She was a VP at a big bank. Worked crazy hours. Traveled all the time. High, crazy stress in a really toxic environment. (Her job was to go to bank branches her bank had bought, decide who to fire, and then fire them.) When her oldest started school, she had a big blow up with her boss and quit. Eventually she decided to go back to work. So first she made a list of her demands since she didn’t need to work. Her list was 1) zero travel, 2) leave work at work, 3) decent health insurance because her husband’s insurance sucked ass, and 4) very limited commute.
She first worked at a Walmart near her house, just to get some experience that wasn’t 15 years old. She was a manager in the deli. Then she moved over to working at a hospital, checking people in who are having day surgery. She loves her job. It’s a job, not a career. She feels good about what she’s doing. She has contact with other smart people.
Also, I don’t think kids get a vote on a decision like this. And I don’t think your DH gets an equal vote. He gets a vote but you are the tie breaker. Hire someone if you need help. But protect your own mental health: if you need out of the house, get out of the house.
Post by traveltheworld on Mar 18, 2021 11:13:51 GMT -5
We finally hired someone!!! The candidate was 4th on our list, and according to multiple sources, has some personality issues; but she's undoubtedly a fantastic lawyer, so we'll just make it work.
DH is getting a bit of traction on his side gig. It may not go anywhere, but I'm cautiously optimistic. It would be nice if he could pull off steady employment.
Oh and mae0111, I feel like I'm going through a mid-life crisis too. I've always wanted to climb the ladder; but now I just want a simple life and just a "job", not a career. I can't figure out if it's really a change in mentality or if I'm just tired.
DDOT: Today is.. weird. Out of the house by 7:45am. I have a lunch scheduled, then will head back to the office to finish out the day, then meeting my old boss/mentor for dinner in the city and probably won't be home until 8 or 9. It seems so weird and daunting to be out of the house for this long when this used to be pretty typical.
Post by sandandsea on Mar 18, 2021 12:07:51 GMT -5
DDOT. My dad is a farmer. I never liked living on a farm (crops no animals) and moved far away to the city as soon as I graduated with no intent of returning. Fast forward 30 years and my son loves playing the Farming Simulator game. He bought it for his iPad and computer. He watches YouTube videos about it. He makes videos about it. He’s obsessed. He talks to grandpa about different implements and purposes of equipment and planting and harvest. He wants to live on a farm and have winter because snow is fun. And I just shake my head. It is the antithesis of everything I wanted as a kid!! The grass is always greener right?!?!
At least if he moves to the Midwest it will be cheap to follow him when we retire. But I really don’t want to move back to winter.
mommyatty, traveltheworld, thank you for your insight. mommyatty, my situation is similar to your cousin's - I was a step between VP and SVP at my old company. Work just never stopped. I would routinely be on calls until 10pm, then waking up the next day to be on another by 530 or 6am since I had teams overseas. I didn't travel, but not for my boss' lack of trying. I fought him for years.
So that's what my kids know as "Mom working". And DH has always traveled a lot, and opening his own business has been all-consuming for him over the past couple of years. Both kids have some general anxiety anyway, and the idea of me going back to that is a source of great stress for them. Which is totally understandable. It's hard for me to explain that it would be different when it's all they've seen.
I've been looking for admin-type roles. I'm trying to find something that's "Mother's Hours", somewhere between our home and the kids' school. No shifts. DH's schedule is too unpredictable for shifts. There has been a lot of part-time stuff posted, but it's all afternoons and evenings right now. But something that I can work my hours, punch out, and not think about it until the next day.
Basically I don't want to do anything that's going to stress me out more than I already am.
sandandsea, covid would have been the perfect time to send him to live with grandpa... go to person in school, work on the farm after school and on the weekends.
Post by supertrooper1 on Mar 18, 2021 15:31:28 GMT -5
Ex-H found a new attorney and my attorney and his new one are talking and exchanging information. Turns out, ex's attorney hadn't been filing paperwork all along like she should have, is being investigated by our state bar, and ex is their star witness because he was screwed the most by her. No word on whether our money is safe in the bank from her trust, but I think no news is good news from my attorney.
sandandsea my H loooooves farming simulator lol. It's the only way for him to farm unless we win the lottery.
Hahahaha. I might kill DH if he started playing!! Your H should make videos and post them on you tube. He’d make millions and then could farm for real.
I had another IEP meeting this morning. Mrs. D (DD's teacher) scolded me again about background noise. It was DD talking with Papa so I had to be muted unless they asked me to talk. I felt like a little kid in the principle's office being lectured. Psych is going to be testing DD sometime in April for writing/spelling and we will have to make arrangements for DD to come to school. They are also going to get DD a finger grip to try from the OT to see if I can correct her pencil hold over the summer. The psych was the same one who tested DD for TAG so she was going to pull that old file but she remembered her as one smart cookie and that it is very unusual for excellent math and reading student to struggle this much with writing.
DD is in a crank pot mood today. I've grounded her from all electronic devises for the next 3 days after a few comments she made during class. She also complained about being stuck with me at work but then on the weekends she chooses to come instead of staying home with DH. I know she is tired from long days and she reacted with extreme anger over the extension of tax season (our office isn't going to continue to work 24/7 after 4/15). I'm tired too but her words today during class caused me to cry at my desk.
186momx- it’s time for you to be a bitch. Honestly. I would email the principal and copy the teacher, pointing out that not everyone is a SAH parent and that DD has better working conditions than she would have if she were in school in terms of background noise. Then I would point out the teacher’s utter inability to recognize DD’s need for accommodation and utter unwillingness to FOLLOW THE LAW in ensuring DD was accommodated appropriately this year. I would flat say she was incompetent to help any child who was learning at home and you had serious reservations about her ability to flex to deal with a classroom in person situation because of her rigidity and inability to recognize children’s different needs and different backgrounds.
I am fuming for you. Fuck that bitch. I would be DONE.
186momx- it’s time for you to be a bitch. Honestly. I would email the principal and copy the teacher, pointing out that not everyone is a SAH parent and that DD has better working conditions than she would have if she were in school in terms of background noise. Then I would point out the teacher’s utter inability to recognize DD’s need for accommodation and utter unwillingness to FOLLOW THE LAW in ensuring DD was accommodated appropriately this year. I would flat say she was incompetent to help any child who was learning at home and you had serious reservations about her ability to flex to deal with a classroom in person situation because of her rigidity and inability to recognize children’s different needs and different backgrounds.
I am fuming for you. Fuck that bitch. I would be DONE.
All of this. If they don’t want to hear house or work noises then keep the schools open in person.
Post by notsopicky on Mar 19, 2021 14:50:07 GMT -5
I'm new here (thanks k3am for the push to post more) and I've had a questions since my lurker-days--what is DDOT and TWERKS? Pls. and thank you for indulging the noob.
Post by traveltheworld on Mar 19, 2021 15:07:15 GMT -5
We had our round of parent teacher interviews and DD's kindergarten teacher mentioned that she has started noticing that it's hard to understand DD. We recognize the problem. We had her in private speech therapy for a few months last fall but she got discharged because all her individual words and letter sounds are fine. It's just that when she talks, all the words kind of blend in to each other. But it's not quite mumbling either. We don't really know what to do about it. Her kindergarten teacher said she did have dd assessed by the school SLP but neither could quite figure out what the problem is either.
I don't know what to do with that information. Dd was incredibly shy and has finally started to come out of her shell, but the fact that her teacher and other kids can't understand her half the time is starting to really affect her confidence again.
traveltheworld- we had the exact same issue with DS in kindergarten. Part of the problem was he just wouldn’t talk loudly enough. And because he wasn’t putting enough air into talking, it was almost a mutter. He grew out of it in first grade. Occasionally we still have to ask him to repeat and tell him if he won’t speak up, we won’t be able to understand him.
We haven’t ruled out speech therapy. There are some words he still pronounces incorrectly and it’s affecting his spelling (lif for with, for example, and aminal instead of animal). But the problem you’ve mentioned is one that did generally resolve itself. One of the weird things that helped was his eagerness to use Siri on his iPad. If he doesn’t enunciate clearly and loudly, Siri doesn’t understand him.
You guys will laugh at this one... according to DD's teacher, she thinks the kids will actually be ahead of the nation in terms of their progress this year if we were to use the normal standards.. AHEAD. That the kids have done a better job learning during distance learning vs. what other kids in the nation do in a normal year.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this is absurd?
k3am- I’m doubtful based on what you’ve said in terms of feedback from the teacher and what work they are doing. But at my kids’ school, the “Zoom kids” were outpacing the in person kids on average. I’m not sure why. I’m not sure if it’s because they were getting one on one teaching with a parent or if a lot of the parents were supplementing because the work didn’t take long at all when they did it at home or if it was just what parents were choosing the at home option. DD is still pretty pissed off at how much time is wasted in at person school. She will say “It takes us 6 hours to do what I could do in like an hour and a half at home!” And she’s not wrong.
BUT... the kids at their school (at home or in person) are still evaluated and held to very high standards. They weren’t in a situation like yours where you weren’t having work graded and returned. My kids were still having tests weekly and multiple assignments checked and returned daily.
mommyatty, my 2nd grader still doesn't write in complete sentences. Or use capital letters. Or punctuation. Or even know to align her writing to the left margin of the paper. But it's cool, she's "ahead."
You guys will laugh at this one... according to DD's teacher, she thinks the kids will actually be ahead of the nation in terms of their progress this year if we were to use the normal standards.. AHEAD. That the kids have done a better job learning during distance learning vs. what other kids in the nation do in a normal year.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this is absurd?
I’m not sure I believe your DD’s teacher in anything based on what you’ve posted about her in the past.
However, DS was ahead doing e-learning rather than hybrid because he had instruction 5 days a week instead of 2 days a week. But he wasn’t that far ahead and by “ahead” it only means the speed they were going through the curriculum. Other factors like social emotional for elementary are not counted.
mommyatty, my 2nd grader still doesn't write in complete sentences. Or use capital letters. Or punctuation. Or even know to align her writing to the left margin of the paper. But it's cool, she's "ahead."
I worry about this too. FWIW, DS was also like this in 2nd and 3rd grade. A product of his personality and a poor 1st grade teacher. But his 2nd and 3rd teacher really cracked down hard. And his 4th grade teacher not so much. So when he gets to 5th, I’m sure I’ll be seeing bad grades in writing again. I don’t think his writing is deserving of all A’s this year. But it’s her first year teaching and global pandemic....
We had our round of parent teacher interviews and DD's kindergarten teacher mentioned that she has started noticing that it's hard to understand DD. We recognize the problem. We had her in private speech therapy for a few months last fall but she got discharged because all her individual words and letter sounds are fine. It's just that when she talks, all the words kind of blend in to each other. But it's not quite mumbling either. We don't really know what to do about it. Her kindergarten teacher said she did have dd assessed by the school SLP but neither could quite figure out what the problem is either.
I don't know what to do with that information. Dd was incredibly shy and has finally started to come out of her shell, but the fact that her teacher and other kids can't understand her half the time is starting to really affect her confidence again.
I think I would try speech if she qualifies and you are at public school. It’s free and requires no out of school time from you, so it couldn’t be easier.