Missed most of it, but the little I did get.. don't do kid exchanges at the house. I'd meet somewhere neutral and if you have to a police station parking lot.
I am sorry he is being this way and just know you don't deserve it.
I also missed but got the gist. I would do exchanges not at your house and have another adult with you when they happen. I'm sorry he is being such a PITA. Have fun in Disney you all deserve the break and fun!